Puppy crying when alone - follows constantly

[Zebracowfish]

Hi,

I’m just after some advice. We’ve got a little 12 week old puppy, had her about three weeks now. We’ve taken some time off and I’ve got another week left, so she hasn’t been left alone much yet.

She cries if we leave the room, go upstairs etc. So far we’ve tried leaving her while we go upstairs or literally stand outside the front door. We’ve installed a camera to check she’s okay.

I’ll be working from home for at least the next three months, but I’m very conscious about making sure she’s okay by herself for short periods of time, in case I’m ever asked to go back into the office.

Today I went upstairs and she started crying, so I decided to wait until she stopped so as not to give her the idea that every time she cries we will come back immediately. It took 30 minutes of crying before she stopped and then she seemed to settle in her bed.

I’m terrified we’re doing the wrong thing, unsure of how long to leave her for etc.

I just want to know about other people’s experiences, what they did and what worked!!

We really love her and it’s awful hearing her cry but we need to be able to go out sometimes.

She’s also fine at night in the crate (she’s been sleeping in our bedroom). But in the day she doesn’t like it so we’ve decided to give her the run of the hall.

Think of it from her point of view. If you leave the room and she cries, but then you come back, ignoring her the whole time, she'll get fed up with doing the crying bit after a little while, and start thinking 'Oh, I know this one, we just did it 8 times: she's only gone round that corner. I'm not going to bother getting up.'

The key is not making a fuss in response to the crying, but coming and going often. Make sure she feels loved and cuddled at other times, but not whilst you're practicing this. Your coming and going needs to be a non-event, with a slight positive tinge: Quietly put down a treat, and leave the room.

Give her time to learn, but after a little while, she'll see you leaving the room as a special treat for her!

@Eckhart

Thankyou that makes complete sense!!! I’ll keep going at it, and I’ll leave a little treat each time I leave the room!! And like you say, hopefully that’ll give her a positive association.

I agree with building it up gradually and not making a fuss when you reenter the room. Keep practicing, and yes definitely leave little treats or chews so pup starts to think your absence = fine cos nice things appear!

It gets easier I think as they get older because they get a bit more chilled and confident AND they can start having better, longer lasting chews to keep them occupied. It was a pain when my sprocker was tiny and so many of the chews were 3/4 months plus. Now he will sit there with his antler quite happily if I leave although he would definitely prefer it if I never did!

Good luck!

@VelvetRed

That’s great thankyou! Yeah hopefully things will get easier as she gets older! You just read so many things about dogs with separation anxiety, especially after covid with people being at home so much, and I just want to prevent it if possible!

I’ll definitely start slow and work with the treats and see how we get on x

We’ve only had our current puppy a week, but with previous dogs we’ve left them with a licky mat, whilst we leave the room and return immediately, gradually building up the time.

The other thing that seemed to work for us was when our puppy was curled up and cosy, we left the room (she always got up and followed) and did NOTHING, then went back to where we’d been. After enough times of doing this, she learnt that it wasn’t worth disturbing her own coziness, getting up to follow us

Just to clarify, the leaving was our last puppy a long time ago. This little one follows me everywhere, which I’m happy with, as he’s only been here a few days

I have a pup like this, she is gradually improving and can leave a few minutes now. If I have to go for a shower I leave her with a treatball which pretty much lasts the time. Interestingly she doesn’t cry when we leave the house, just when she knows we are in! I have left my daughter upstairs unknown to pup and gone out. There have been a few squeaks and then silence.

@Derbee

Thankyou! I’ve been doing it all day, so far she still follows me but I’ll keep trying! She’s even fast asleep and if I move my foot a bit she wakes up ha

@Goneroundthetwist

Oh that is interesting! She must know you’re in and then cry for your attention!
I’ve had a tiny bit of progress today in that when I went upstairs, I gave her roam of the house! I only went up a few minutes at a time, over the stair gate! She didn’t cry but waited for me at the bottom. I think it’s because she was allowed to go anywhere though rather than being locked in the hall. Which isn’t realistic because we couldn’t let her do that when we’re out because she might hurt herself/destroy things! But could build up from here when she’s in the house.
How old is your puppy now?

We had been making progress prior to Christmas but now with isolations and lockdown I’ve no idea if she will cry when we leave, I hope not. She has started going into other rooms on her own for a while to play with a toy, so I think small steps. Trying to get her to stay in her bed beside us at night but seems to end up with us, least she is small.