Puppy crying at night - but doesn’t need the toilet

[fufulina]

Hi - we have a nearly 12 week old shih tzu.

We picked him up at 10 weeks. For the first three nights DH slept with him in the kitchen, then for the next 6 nights we slept upstairs, he was in his crate. When he cried, I went downstairs, carried him outside, waited a couple of minutes, then put him back. No talking, no cuddles, just very boring.

On those 6 nights he never did a wee during those garden visits at night so last night I resolved not to go to him if he cried because he hadn’t needed a wee.

He cried on and off from about 2 and at 5.15, I got up and came down and started the day (!).

No accidents in the crate overnight or in the house and he is toileting well outside during the day. When I get him up for the day he happily goes into the garden for the loo (after needing a lot of cuddles).

He goes to bed about 11 after a last wee/poo.

Do I continue to ignore the crying? Or should I continue to go to him and be boring? He is our first puppy, although I grew up with dogs. It was very different in the 80s anyway!

Thank you in advance for your help!

You'll get mixed advice, but I would NEVER ignore the crying. Dogs are pack animals, and we’ve always had our dog in his basket in our bedroom (never on the bed!). I’d personally have the crate in your room, so she can see/smell you. As she gets older, and settles, you can move her crate further and further away until it’s back downstairs if that’s what you want to do

Thanks for your response. We can’t have him in our room because we have a cat, and we want to keep our room as hers. The one place she can escape the puppy. Also, it’s a loft, so moving the crate further away would be moving it immediately downstairs to the landing outside the kids rooms...

But I think you’re right I need to go to him even though he doesn’t want the loo but does want things I’m not willing to give him in the middle of the night (play, cuddles, food)! Hopefully, he will get bored!

You need to sleep close to the puppy until it’s confident enough not to need you.

He's a baby who has been taken away from his siblings and his mother. Just like a human baby, he has needs too which aren't food or the toilet. I slept in the same room as our pup for the first few weeks and would rest a hand on him through the crate bars or give him some attention when he was sad.

How old are your dc?

We used to have a rota for sleeping with new puppies until they were settled. ExH never wanted to be on it, so that left more nights for the kids and I 👍.

The alternative is a second crate in the bedroom. The cat will adapt. If you're lucky the cat will curl up with the dog and solve the problem 😉. We did have one dog "adopt" a new kitten, that was very sweet.

Everyone is right, he’s crying because he is lonely. He’s been torn away from his mum & his litter mates into a new, strange place. It’s dark & he’s probably cold too without his litter to snuggle up with. You need to find some way of him being with you, or another family member, make sure he has plenty of blankets & a warm, wrapped hot water bottle. It will pass as he gets more used to the situation & confident but at the moment he’s a tiny baby who feels abandoned at night.

Don’t worry about the cat. Every cat who I’ve had has always been the boss of my dogs. One used to wait behind the back door as they came in from the garden & give them, all six of them one after the other, a mighty swipe across the face just to make sure they knew their place, & these were all feisty terriers.

well yes, young mammals are not evolved to be left alone for long periods of time.

Agree with Derbee. I do not believe in ignoring crying. 12 weeks is a baby!

We had one night recently where our girl (she's 3!) just didn't settle and was whining. DH and I had a bit of a disagreement on it (he believes its manipulation 🙄) after 20 mins I couldn't take it and went down.
When I got there she she was in such a state of distress sweaty panicky and over excited 😢

I recommend getting a proper bedtime routine alongside comforters ( a hot water bottle + snuggly blankets that smell of you + a ticking clock)

If they are crying I would always go down and sit with them until they are calm. Then a little treat and slope off back to bed.

Have always had mine in a crate in my room at night. (And small crate, so cosy and just a bed.) Any crying and we got straight up and went out for a wee, nothing else, and pretty much from night one crying only happened if there was a need. I have the same rule in my house that our room and the bed is the cat zone, but a puppy in a crate has never bothered them.

12 and 8. The cat - who we’ve had for four years - is a very nervous cat. She won’t adapt and it doesn’t feel fair to destroy the place she loves. Bedroom isn’t an option.

Will continue to go to him.

So you’ve had him two weeks. Of course he’s not ready to be left alone at night. Sleep downstairs with him if he can’t be in your bedroom.
He will settle alone quicker if you take it slowly. Leaving him lonely and unhappy will make him more unsettled and could lead to separation anxiety.

Don’t go to him. Stay with him @fufulina so he doesn’t need to cry at all. Then he will grow in confidence and won’t need you.