Puppy with a 15 month old

[2021willbetheyear]

Changed name because will probably be flamed but...is the above a mad idea? I’m a weirdo who likes looking at the website of a dog breeder that I contacted about a puppy before I had my unplanned third baby. She posts pics of her new litters (every 18 months -2 years) talks about their personality etc, and they’re beautiful dogs so I daydream about them. She’s just had a new litter and there’s one puppy not booked. I’ll be working from home until the summer (then 2/3 days a week in office - but we have a childminder who comes to the house so puppy won’t be alone much and at that puppy age a dog walker will be a possibility) so now is when it will be easiest to ensure puppy is never alone. But I have aforementioned 15 mo (as well as 4 yo and 8 yo, the latter who is animal mad). My DH would like a dog but isn’t sure about this breed (too small) and doesn’t like the colour, but it’s hard to find a good breeder in my country I think. This breeder clearly breeds for health and temperament (as well as beauty 😍). My head knows that the time isn’t right with the toddler but...but...is it doable?

Also I have extra holidays in 2021 carried over from 2020 so will be able to take a bit more time off, won’t necessarily be the case in other years.

If she has new litters every 18 months or so she’s a puppy farmer and should be avoided
Plus I wouldn’t have a toddler and a puppy.

A puppy farmer?? How is she a puppy farmer if she has a litter every 18 months? That wouldn’t exactly make her a lot of money! She has 10 dogs, who she shows and does agility with. This is this bitch’s 2nd litter, the last one was at the start of 2019.

We have a 9 week old puppy and a 15 month old. A week in and it’s going ok! It’s hard work in that you have to have eyes in the back of your head but with a toddler you’re used to it anyway! I’m hoping to get the painful bit of puppyhood / toddler all over at the same time and then hopefully they will be thick as thieves! X

I wouldnt recommend it. I did it with PoleDog, my youngest DC (who was 14 months old) and DC1 was 3 at the time. Personally I didnt find it as horrific as I was expecting.

PoleDog is a working dog, his breed is known for being very, very calm and placid even as pups, I have always very carefully selected my dogs for temperament when choosing them, and I rely heavily on the advice of the breeder (whom I trust) as to which pup would suit us best as she knows her dogs better than anyone.

I have had quite a lot of experience with dogs - growing up my parents trained working dogs which I learnt to do too, and I have had my own dogs and fostered dogs for a local rescue for many years.

I am also naturally calm and patient, and thanks to my career am used getting up early and not much sleep . I only do occasional locum/emergency work, and if I am called out DH works from home permanently, so I have the time to juggle puppy, kids and life as he can step in and take over when needed.

PoleDogElder and previous PoleDogElder, RIP both came from the same breeder as PoleDog. I wouldnt have done it if I didnt need another working dog at the time, I certainly would never have done it if I didn`t know the breed, breeder or if it was my first dog as an adult.

Puppies are enormous work, and make a lot of mess, which isnt great with kids too young to know to avoid the pee and poo. There is also the risk of kids that young getting germs/worms as hygiene isnt always as scrupulous at that age and they can put their hands in their mouths a lot.

Do you have time to train a puppy too? Do think honestly about it, we currently have a puppy and I spend a lot of time each day 1:1 with him. That is extremely difficult when you have kids who leave toys around, and can be puppy choke hazards.
If the pup you are looking at is a small breed, or any breed there is also the risk of them (the pup) being stepped on or tripped over as toddlers aren't great at avoiding pups. Pups are also very bitey, older kids can deal with that better imho!

Can your kids be left unsupervised while you take Pup outside, clean up, train, feed.. even training your kids how to act around, play and train Pup takes a lot of time.

Imho it gets stressful when you are trying to juggle too many things, if you are a person who needs their sleep or are house proud.

I absolutely would not get any dog that DH was not 100% on board with, that is a recipe for disaster.

I also wouldn't if DH had form for not pulling his weight around the house (mine doesn't suffer this affliction thankfully) as it makes things 1000 times easier if you are both on board and sharing the work.

As for your DH not liking the colour, wtaf? I personally do not think the appearance of the dog should ever factor into the decision, temperament and health are what matters.

I am not a fan of the puppy stage (DH says I am an unfeeling monster), but its a necessary evil to get to the lovely adult dog stage . Well, it is when you need to train working dogs from the get go, otherwise rescuing an adult dog is a great idea, and you get to skip the puppy stage.

So that I suppose it a long was of saying that I think its a very bad idea. It is much nicer when DC are older and can help train too, they form a much closer bond with the pup, and its a lovely thing to see.

Which breed OP? If the breeder does agility presumably a high energy breed, so do you also have the time to meet those demands?

Not a chance. Puppies are fucking hard work. You can’t take your eyes off them when toilet training and they bite. Everything!
If she has litters that often then at the very least she’s a commercial breeder who breeds purely for profit. I would run a mile TBH.
Contact the breed club and wait until you have time to devote to a new pup.

The frequency of litters doesn’t ring any alarm bells for me assuming everything else seems above board.
But no way would I recommend a dog with very young children, I think they do best with kids 4/5+

@Justanother123 , there’s a lot to be said for getting all the hard work done at the same time! I was thinking the constraints of puppyhood mightn’t be as bad when you’re constrained by a puppy anyway! But do you work as well?

@PoleToPole - Shetland Sheepdog

I wouldn't personally. Puppies need a lot of work and training for them to become well trained and well adjusted adult dogs. You won't be able to leave the dc with the puppy when you go to the loo - you'll need separate areas for a while and your dc will be too young to understand why you're doing it or simple instructions about how to (or not to!) interact with the puppy.

As a fosterer @PoleToPole posts wonderful advice on dog threads and I would really listen to those who end up having to take dogs from homes where it hasn't worked out!

I do work part time as does my husband. We’re working from home most of the week though. We also have a 13 and 16 year old (13 year old is main reason for wanting a dog as she’s animal mad and it’s all she’s ever wanted). We weighed it up and yes it’s hard work and the lack of sleep is hard at the moment but I’m hoping that with training etc we can enjoy a lovely family life together. I grew up with dogs so it really is lovely to have a dog in the home again x

there’s a lot to be said for getting all the hard work done at the same time!
I think that’s a very simple way of looking at it.
Depending on the personality of the child and puppy you might find you just can’t devote the time needed.

My first child was fairly placid and my dog was a fairly easy puppy but they aren’t all like that.
My youngest child is 4 now and much calmer now but he was an utterly wild toddler and very, very hard work.
Literally couldn’t be left alone for a second as he’d be climbing up things, throwing things, breaking things.
No way on earth could I have managed a puppy, no matter how placid and him.

And some dogs/puppies are more sensitive than others, some can find the massive mood swings and general noise and movement of young children overwhelming and scary.

Also, I note you’ve updated with the breed.
Ive never had one but I do have another herding breed and my understanding of Shetland sheepdogs (and other herding breeds) is they are very sensitive to noise and movement and emotion and very prone to being nervous so I’d veer even more to saying it’s a bad idea with such a young child.

There's no harm in waiting another couple of years. I don't think a toddler and a puppy is a good idea. They go through what seems like an endless nipping phase. They pee and poo. They go through a teenage phase. This is why a lot of puppies end up looking for new homes. Maybe just enjoy what you have for a while.

Ah really, I know I should wait maybe 2 years. Then my oldest would really be mature to help out by maybe taking the dog for a walk, and a 3 year old has a bit more sense. The only reason for doing it now is the working at home full time until puppy is at least 5/6 months but I’m not sure that’s enough reason in itself. Oh, and as I said getting toddler/puppyhood done at the same time - I’ve almost escaped to go back to sleepless nights twice now, not sure I want to do it a third time! But again not really enough reason.
I mostly posted for a reality check I guess.

Shetland sheepdogs are exactly what Hotchocolatewithcream says. From experience they also don't mind giving a little nip to get you all herded together on a walk. Other breeds are a lot more family friendly.

Thank you @FlappingPancakes I'm glad its helpful .

@2021willbetheyear If its a Shetland pup then absolutely no way!!!
They are a herding breed, those don't tend to mix well with small kids as they will try to herd the kids, ie nip their heels.
Shetlands are also very sensitive, and the crying, wailing, unpredictability etc of small children can be very upsetting, and you run the risk of them becoming nervous and jumpy. Not fair at all on the pup, or on anyone.

What was the reason for choosing a Shetland Sheepdog?

It will be a lot more fun for you all when the time is right.

Sorry, cross posted with HappyRaven and Hotchocolate!

There is also the fact that puppies, and any new dog will need a lot of nurturing, confidence building and bonding time. Will your children get jealous of the pup having your attention? Many younger kids do.

The right dog, at the right time, in the right environment with realistic expectations is such a wonderful experience and adds so much joy and love. They change your life forever, its worth waiting for

Re choosing a Shetland Sheepdog - well, I had a border collie as a teenager, so herding breeds just seem to appeal. Borders aren’t suited to an urban family so then I wanted a rough collie, but they’re a bit big...So asking on a few forums, a number of people recommended Shelties as family friendly dogs. Also ideally would like a dog that can run with my DH and that rules out a lot of smaller dogs. But maybe I need to go back to the drawing board!

Have you had full responsibility for a dog before? If not it may be a massive culture shock with young children. Yes you will probably cope but why add stress to your life?

If you wait until they are a bit more independent you can then enjoy the puppy days rather than be knackered and counting the days for it to end.

Shelties bark like mad , need loads of grooming after walks as every branch gorse twig and bracken will stick to their coats

I'm a week into having a puppy OP. My kids are 5 & 6. There's no way I'd do it with a toddler. Even at this age the biting is really hard to manage and my younger one is struggling. When DDog is 'on one' I've had to tell both DCs to go into another room and stay there until DDog has chilled out - you can't do that with a toddler. DDog needs constant supervision when he's awake, again not possible with a toddler.

You have me all convinced 😄 ! And if anyone wants to recommend me some family friendly breeds, I’ll lurk on some more breeders websites so I’m ready in a few years time!