Feeling vulnerable when on a dog walk

[mothtoaflame]

Hi ladies,
Just back from a dog walk in my local park (NLondon suburb). There was a man at the path entrance that made me feel really uncomfortable. He wasn't doing anything wrong but had a piercing stare and as I approached, rather than moving aside, he stepped centrally onto the path so I would either have to ask him to move or brush past. It wasn't even this that made me uncomfortable, I just felt really nervous all of a sudden and for want of a better description just got 'bad vibes'.
As the park leads on to an empty car park, I turned back into the main park and asked a random football dad to keep an eye on me whilst I left the park and explained why (embarrassing). He helpfully told me to leave by a closer exit, which I was unaware of, and all was well.
My question is, does this ever happen to you and do you: trust your gut and act accordingly or, pull yourself together and stop being paranoid?
I can't work out if I was being sensible or silly but I was relieved when I got home 😐

It does sound like you were being a bit over anxious. But it was sensible to trust your instincts and be careful. If this kind of thing happens a lot to you, then maybe you are being paranoid though. Does DDog not make you feel more secure?

The man standing in the middle of the path was weird, rude and confrontational. Always listen to your instincts! You did very well to ask for help. Well done. Parks can attract nutters for sure.

Hi and thanks for replying. No it's never happened before, although last time I encountered an unstable homeless man in the park (2years ago) my dog approached him and was viscously kicked, which may be why I reacted as I did.
Ps. Dog doesn't usually approach strangers, but the man was very odorous.

I don't scare easily but i was freaked out by a guy who walked really closely behind me, i just stopped dead and turned and looked at him. He was so close that he practically bumped into me. He said im sorry, did i scare you? I said dont be ridiculous because i didnt want to give him the satisfaction. It was quite unsettling.

Trust your instincts always

I would contact the local police to see if there have been other reports. I'm so saddened that we can't as women walk in the lovely countryside with or without dogs, and feel safe. I'd also look at other walking areas.

Trust your instincts. There was no reason for him to move into the middle of the path in a park other than to make you feel uncomfortable. And no reasonable / normal man (or person) goes out of their way to make people feel uncomfortable.

One of the benefits of lockdowns 1 and 2, for me, has been that our usual dog walking park is no longer isolated. I understand your feelings compleletely.
I don't think you were being overly anxious. I think you had your own hackles up and there's a reason we respond instinctively to certain situations. Your situation would unnerve me as well.

I think, in all of the years of walking my dog, the one time my gut transformed itself into a pit of doom and fear was once in Gunnersbury Park. I just found myself totally isolated in an area where all I could do was keep walking forward until I found a gate to exit. At that time, most of the entrances/exits were temporarily gated off so I couldn't just walk out of the park. I had to keep walking until I got to an open exit. It was unnerving.
Another time, about 5 years ago, I was walking along the towpath in West London. I was entirely alone, feeling a bit nervous about it (I was walking towards a footbridge that I needed to cross). About 15 minutes after I'd walked past the boathouse, just before crossing the footbridge, a woman had been mugged and stabbed (not fatally). I'd seen the two guys ealier along the footpath and they looked a bit unsavoury, but I didn't give it much thought. I was very surprised when I later returned to find the towpath cordoned off with police everywhere.

I've been held at knifepoint by a man (not in this country) and my son, two years ago, was mugged at knifepoint by a gang in a local West London park. Once, on a dog walk, about 3 years ago, I was on a very remote meadow with one other dog walker (a man), who got talking to me. He then put his arms around me and squeezed me tightly mumbling random shit. It scared the hell out of me. I was very scared and shocked by how fast our conversation went from dogs to where we both come from originally, to being hugged and held and whispered to against my will. I was terrified.

So here I am with my 'bad' stories, not intended to scare you or anyone, OP. But always trust your gut. At the same time, murders in London parks are uncommon and infrequent, which is reassuring.
But I do try and stick to populated dog walking areas ever since that 'creepy hug' I got. I'd do the same, if I were you. You want your dog walks to be peaceful and therapeutic.

I would contact the local police to see if there have been other reports. I'm so saddened that we can't as women walk in the lovely countryside with or without dogs, and feel safe. I'd also look at other walking areas.

Me too. It makes me so angry that I can't just enjoy a remote walk, in peace, without that shadow of fear lurking.

Another poster mentioned reporting to police. That's a really good idea, OP. It is really weird behaviour, antagonistic behaviour, moving into your path like that. It is threatening.

Thanks for the feedback ladies, reassuring to know I'm not being precious.
I think some men just enjoy making women feel uncomfortable without actually engaging in criminal activity. To be honest he looked more mentally unstable rather than violent, but still...
There have been a spate of incidents in our area, flashers, muggings etc which is why I am vigilant when out.
My dog is a people loving, soppy thing that never barks or growls, so not sure what it would take for any protection instincts to kick in.

Experiences like this are very unpleasant, and no you're not being silly.

A woman was stopped by two men in a busy park in our nearest big town and they tried to steal her dog from her.

I've stopped going to isolated places with my dog because of reports like this although, as I say, the park wasn't isolated.

Unfortunately, it seems that these sorts of thing happening to women on their own is never going to stop.

If you feel anxious when out and about, a self-defence course might be a good idea (though of course with lockdown they're probably not running).

Always trust your gut. Maybe it was nothing, but this way you managed any possible risk.
One of my dogs is very protective of me, and its interesting to see who he reacts to as having a bad vibe from. I trust his gut too, and we'll divert or change plans based on it (partly as although he's a soft object, I don't want to find out what will happen if I actually was threatened)

No your not being silly. What type of dog do you have. I had a bloke purposely barge next to me once he headed like he was on a mission to knock me over. I suspect he was after a reaction from my dog. Maybe a claim if my dog bit ?
The other time I was on a isolated moor path miles from nowhere. There was a man was running behind me when I turned he would stop. I sat down with my dog to let him pass and he stood there watching me the whole time. I sat for 10 minutes he stood for the whole time staring. I telephoned my husband gave him my location. I had a big dog with me. I basically got back up began to walk quicky then the man did the same. When I got to a bend in the valley I ran like hell. Luckily I came to some forestry workers. Once he saw the national park workers he ran over the moors in the opposite direction. I wasn't being paranoid.
I walk the moors on my own regularly. Believe me its scary and there is a lot of nutters about. Make sure you always tell someone where your going on and your mobile phone is fully charged.

100% Always trust your instinct. Doesn't matter if people think you over reacted, I'd rather over react and be safe.
My kids laugh at me when I get 'bad vibes' about people but instinct is their for a reason TRUST IT.

You're not being silly at all.

It's worth being aware that dog thefts are on the increase and they're becoming more and more brazen, especially if you have a popular breed or an obviously un-neutered dog or un-spayed bitch.

Always trust your instinct, I have had it a couple of times once walking the dog about dusk by the river a couple of fishy looking blokes seemed to be skirting about in back gardens, luckily our dog a 32kg Shar pei is very protective and knew something was up, I was more scared for their life than my own!!! Second tome I was out running In the morning and a taxi driver pulled up and crawled alongside me in his taxi just staring for about 10 mins luckily some other cars came down the road and he drove off I did get his number plate and reported it to taxi licence authority!

Had similar happen to me without a dog, and it is best to trust your gut instinct. Always.

Make sure you avoid same walking route at same times of the day/week. Mix it up if you can.

I'd be most nervous about dog theft in that scenario tbh, if he didn't follow or touch you. I think you acted appropriately and ultimately it's better to be overanxious and safe than blase and hurt or worse.

For what it's worth, I had this uncomfortable feeling with a previous student of mine, I mentioned it to my boss but obviously gut feeling is not enough to go on. He went on to assault a colleague. Sometimes your gut is right.

I had exactly the same the other week...

Walking the pup at around 6.45am, busy main road so not in a park and a young lad walked past me, he stunk of weed and had a bit of a weird look about him... i carried on walking but something made me turn around and i could see that he had turned round and had started to catch up with me... i honestly could have died on the spot.... luckily a man was walking to the bus stop and he walked me back home... lesson learnt as well dont wear ear phones as you cant hear anyone approach!

Hi ladies, it's a shame this type of thing happens.
When I informed the police about the previous incident with the man kicking my dog and being aggressive/verbally abusive, they suggested that if it happened again I should film it from my phone for evidence, but I would be far more likely to flee.

As others have said, always trust your instincts.

Another thing to be aware of at the moment is that the theft of pet dogs is on the increase, especially puppies. A friend of ours has been followed when walking her young lab (in broad daylight in a busy park) and was convinced it was her dog the man was after. There’s a thriving market in pet dogs at the moment.

@mothtoaflame

Hi ladies, it's a shame this type of thing happens. When I informed the police about the previous incident with the man kicking my dog and being aggressive/verbally abusive, they suggested that if it happened again I should film it from my phone for evidence, but I would be far more likely to flee.

What a ridiculous thing to suggest you do.

Who the hell is going to stand there filming someone kicking their dog?

If someone started kicking my dog I'd probably grab her and run, although my instinct would be to kick them back.

Pigsdofly, I agree. You'd me making yourself more vulnerable while retrieving a valuable item and would need to be at close range to capture any admissible footage. Unfortunately this demonstrates the need for evidence, which women in these circumstances are unable to provide.

Mothtoaflame Yes, and I suspect it also demonstrates the police's complete lack of interest in how threatening women fine these kind of encounters.

All you have to trust is your gut instinct. Mine has saved me a couple of times. Nothing lost if you are wrong. Lots to gain if you are right. Pp was right to turn round abruptly, best idea is to change tack and take them by suprise by not doing what they think you will.