Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Old dog - when to call it a day

24 replies

NotBrigitteBardot · 24/10/2020 11:50

She's a mixed breed rescue and pretty old. She has a number of health problems - impaired kidney function (managed by diet), high blood pressure - panting when hot or going for a walk, losing strength in her back legs (she's on supplements) but can still manage the stairs, reduced sense of smell / sight / hearing, loss of bowel control - she poos like a horse, just drops it out when walking along - more and more often indoors though fortunately it's not messy - a couple of times peed on a carpet (despite having plenty of access to the garden). On the plus side she still enjoys her food and trots happily around the garden having a sniff around. Recently her arthritis has got worse and sometimes she has difficulty getting comfortable. Often stands in the garden wondering why she is there.
She hasn't been to the vet for a while due to coronavirus and the vet stresses her now anyway. So my question is - how do you decide if and when to PTS? I know what the vet will say - that it's up to us. On the one hand I feel bad about ending a life, on the other hand we let our elderly cat go on for too long and I feel bad about that.

OP posts:
mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 24/10/2020 12:52

Oh dear, I am sorry. It is very difficult, but my gauge has usually been to do it when they are no longer enjoying life/food/happy moments/continent. Having said that, I think I left it a week too long for my old girl as her kidneys failed completely and she couldn't eat during the last 24 hours and was vomiting. Maybe it is better for you to do it now rather than wait for further deterioration? (Annoyingly, my vet wanted to do a blood test on her "to see if it is something we can treat", when I KNEW she wouldn't get better, so delayed her PTS a few hours and we had to go there twice in one day - don't listen to the vet if you've decided to PTS).

Scattyhattie · 24/10/2020 13:41

Is she on any pain medication currently?
Time to visit the vet. it maybe her time or some treatments may improve her quality of life temporarily . It sounds a spinal nerve issue with losing some urinary/bowel control & strength in hind legs maybe something like lumbosacral disease.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 24/10/2020 17:20

The best advice I ever heard was to make a mental tally of all the things your dog used to love, and see what it can still do. This lets you see how much quality of life the dog has lost, and to that you need to add all the negatives of whatever ailments it's suffering from, and then see how the balance looks.

It sounds brutal, but it really clarified things when our old girl was on her way out. Her greatest pleasure had been acting as enforcer over our other dogs, and she just couldn't do it any longer. Long walks were out. Plus she was in pain, was often confused and her balance was going. She had cancer and an operation would just have delayed things, as a recurrence was highly likely. With a younger dog, we'd probably have tried, but her quality of life wasn't great and it didn't seem fair to put her through it.

bodgeitandscarper · 24/10/2020 17:28

My vet has always said that if you are questioning whether it's time, then it probably is. Still not an easy decision to take though.

Veterinari · 24/10/2020 17:33

A lot of those sign are pain signs (including the toileting) and signs of cognitive dysfunction.
Is she in meds at the moment? If it's not feasible to manage all of her conditions then PTS is kinder than chronic pain

tsmainsqueeze · 24/10/2020 17:50

Is she living or existing ? if she hasn't seen a vet for a while i would take her , at the practice where i work we will do a consult outside if its less stressful for the dog .
I would make a list of all the things she does /no longer does , the vet will guide you .
This is one of the hardest decisions any one ever has to make , but an old dog even one with many ailments can go on a long time ,gradually deteriorating , this is not fair ,and we are in a privileged position as human beings to be able to choose to put them to sleep in a peaceful ,dignified manner before they begin to suffer.

ArthurShelbysTash · 24/10/2020 19:30

We've just had our 18 year old mongrel PTS today. It was time, to keep him going longer would be for our benefit and not his.

I'm heartbroken and the house feels so empty but there is a sense of relief too (if that doesn't sound awful?)

SakiSiam · 25/10/2020 21:22

Oh I feel for you so much but I think it's good advice from bodgeitandscarper ' ,"My vet has always said that if you are questioning whether it's time, then it probably is." How I hate this part of having a pet, but it's about what's right for them, not us.

SakiSiam · 25/10/2020 21:29

Thoughts with you, ArthurShelbysTash; you must have had your doggie with you for so long, and it's heartbreaking, but you've seem to have done what's right for him. I hope this will help in the future.

CrotchetyQuaver · 25/10/2020 21:37

We called it a day with our 15yo spaniel this summer after he had what appeared to be some kind of stroke and was clearly disoriented, agitated and started lurching round in circles. Up till that point he'd been a bit doddery and had the poo issue yours has, but eating well, not obviously in pain and happy in himself. We made the decision it was Time, called the vet to make the appointment and then had a beautiful final day with him, final walk, titbits of his favourite food, masses of love etc. Then we took him to the vet. None of us have any regrets and are glad we all got the chance to say goodbye and that our last memories of him are happy ones. The vets were great and he was PTS outside in the boot of our car so the 3 of us were with him right til the end. we are so glad he went with a bit of dignity rather than it all being a horrible panic at the end and we think of our dear Henry with much love rather than overwhelming sadness and the thought we kept him going too long. This is the first time in many years of multi dog ownership that I feel we got it absolutely right. Other than the one who died very peacefully curled up at my feet, I realise I was acting for myself/us rather than what was best for them.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 25/10/2020 21:43

My old jrt was 17 but I should have let him go at least two years before that. I regret every day that I let him suffer, he had dementia and was deaf and basically paced up and down relentlessly. The vets told me he wasn't in pain but looking back I think he was.
Better a bit too soon than a bit too late. I'm so sorry op FlowersFlowers

SakiSiam · 26/10/2020 21:41

EdwardCullens, I feel for you as we had a greyhound who I'm sure developed dementia (before then I didn't know dogs could have it). She died naturally (if you can call it that) at home at 14. I do agree 'better a bit too soon than a bit too late', but you can't reproach yourself (I know, easier said than done). Your vet would be in a position to know about pain, and we can only look back with hindsight. In the meantime we do our best when we love our dogs.

The fact your boy was able to live to a ripe old age shows that you gave him a good life, and we'll always have regrets/worries. If we don't leave it that 'bit too late' we'd probably always regret we'd done it a bit too soon; when they may have had a few more decent months. Please don't keep beating yourself about it, because it's obvious whatever you did was from love.

GetTheDoorFrank · 26/10/2020 22:04

My darling boy is getting pts on wednesday and i am beyond devastated. I have had him for 8yrs and he has been my constant and now he is going to be gone i cant comprehend him not being here. His back end is starting to go although he can still walk but hes had a few 💩 accidents which made me make the choice but its breaking my heart. How do i deal with it and how do i help ds and also more so for ddog 2 who is one and has had ddog there for the almost year ive had her (got her from a family member and ddog has helped her massively)

Old dog - when to call it a day
Hm2020 · 29/10/2020 14:54

My dog is being pts in the morning she can barely walk hasn’t pood in days and is extremely disorientated but doesn’t seem to be in pain but I could be wrong she has chronic heart failure and is on many medications she has been trying to deteriorate for a while she regularly sees the vet but has gone down hill drastically this week today is our last day oh and she has stopped eating she’s telling us it’s time to go and I know I need to respect sorry to everyone else going through this

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 29/10/2020 15:54

@SakiSiam thank you so much for that Flowers

SakiSiam · 29/10/2020 20:44

Hm2020, so sorry for you, it's such a horrendous time. But you say, "...she’s telling us it’s time to go and I know I need to respect..." . I hate this part of having dogs (or any animal); if only they could die naturally and easily, without us having to make these decisions. You obviously know your dog (and love her enough) to do what's right for her, even though it's horrible for you. When you have a date for your pet to be put to sleep it seems so wrong, but it's not for them - only for us. Handhold for you through the night Sad.

SakiSiam · 29/10/2020 20:54

So sorry, GetTheDoorFrank, I missed your post. Can't really answer or give you reassurance for any of your questions, apart from saying you know you're doing what's right for your dog. That's the trouble with needing to take the decision as to what's right for them, rather than nature having been able to take it's course. We have to contemplate on what's going to happen. I think the only thing for your son is to be honest. Children can usually understand things are done for the right reason when we're honest. I hope that you're coping alright, but I know it's so, so horrible.

GetTheDoorFrank · 29/10/2020 23:39

Yesterday was horrific and lovely at the same time. My boy slipped away peacefully with me cuddling him and holding his paw. Ddog2 and ds and i are all feeling his loss but we will get through it together

SakiSiam · 30/10/2020 19:02

Feeling for you. Glad you were able to hold his paw.

LeahDownTheLane · 31/10/2020 01:03

For me the things you described wouldn’t lead me to pts but we only adopt seniors so quality of life means something different when you don’t know how they used to be. We only pts when they tell us, eating well and trotting around the garden is great....everything else could probably be made a little easier with advice/meds from your vet.

NotBrigitteBardot · 15/11/2020 18:36

Thanks for all your helpful advice, she hasn't got any worse since I posted so I'll see if the vet can offer anything without doing distressing invasive tests. I think any further deterioration and it will be time.

OP posts:
Tootsietoot · 15/11/2020 18:44

I'm so sorry it's such a hard decision. We had our lovely girl it's in Lockdown aged 18. She was very doddery but happy enough for about 6 months, but enjoyed a short walk and a cuddle (all day sometimes).but then couldn't walk without her legs going and we knew. She deteriorated very quickly and apart from her last night when we stayed up with her as she was distressed she was fine. The vet let us both in the room and watching her go to a peaceful place was in fact very special. I miss her every day but feel lucky she was with us for all those years. I wish you well Flowers

Tootsietoot · 15/11/2020 18:45

There should have been a comma after decision otherwise I sound quite judgy!

Tootsietoot · 15/11/2020 18:45

I mean sorry!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page