Puppy survival thread October/November!

[HappyThursdays]

hello all - will hopefully link from the old one!

just realised we'll all have fireworks night to get through shortly. Went out for a walk with dpuppy who is getting much better at walking though we met a big dog which scared him a lot! We can only get him into puppy classes in November which is a shame but at least it's something

@Frenchfancy he was on the backseat in a harness, with an attachment to the seat belt. I thought about putting him on the front seat, but don't know how to / if I can disable the passenger side airbag bag! The previous time my son was in the back with him but I was on my own today...

If Frenchpup is on someone's knee, are you still able to fasten her in somehow? It's reassuring to hear she is getting better over time though!

@lyraa Our pup was fine in a small crate with me next to her for an hour and a half when we first brought her home - I fed her bits of chicken and stroked her through the bars and she fell asleep. But salivating and shaking when taking her shirt trips in a larger crate in the boot - and regurgitating rather than throwing up on a couple of occasions.
What seems to work for us is someone with her in the back, which we can't do long-term so I have to figure out a way of her feeling safe and happy - preferably in the estate car boot.
I am going to try - bringing car crate in the house to use as an extra den with treats, feeding in crate in stationery car, trips out on seat next to someone then home run in crate - aiming to do this over next few weeks. Also short trips in the car next to someone, with happy outcome -walk, picking up family, coming home.
So getting her happy with the crate, and happy with car travel as two aims.

Some say it's not unusual for pups to be a bit car sick first few outings. Hoping with familiarity, it will settle down It has to!

That's all I can say really. Think of where you need to.get to and try breaking down into small steps?

@HappyThursdays Has your pup settled being in the house? Ours is pretty much kitchen and garden. She goes a bit nuts in the sitting room and dives under and attacks the furniture. Am hoping she will calm down with time? I know you have a working spaniel breed too. We can bring her in for a cuddle in the evening when she's really sleepy, but otherwise not really. Want to be able to have some normal family time over Christmas!

@DoubleTweenQueen wait was one of the commands that took the longest. Knowing his character more, I can see why as he doesn't like waiting for anything. But now he will sit in front of his bowl of food until I've given the command to eat but it took a while! A really long while! And 'wait' in an exciting environment is still challenging.

in terms of settling in the house - hmm, he is very much an outside dog, probably much like yours. He is fantastic in the evening. During the day it is variable so I wouldn't say he has properly calmed down yet but he will play with his toys in the living room. He also enjoyed jumping everywhere but he is slightly less like that now. We leave the door between the living room and kitchen open now and sometimes he will just go and lie in the kitchen by himself. Walking really helps his day time behaviour as he's far calmer after he's been out and about sniffing, even if it's a tiny walk round the block so I think you'll definitely see a lot of improvement then as spaniels love being kept busy.

@lyraa our pup was fine coming back from the breeders (1 hour journey) but drooly and whiny for the next couple of trips. What we did was kid on the back seat with her, treat when in car, treat when engine turned on, treat when move off, reassuring strokes and voices, treat every couple of mins and treat when at destination and we went out every day in the car even if just a couple of mins. By the third journey she was perfect and now often will just go to sleep. We have her on the backseat on a towel or hammock with a clip in seatbelt attached to her harness.

Thank you for the responses re leaving your labs/retrievers alone. We left our on his own kitchen/diner area for 40 min and he was absolutely fine, was asleep and then in my DH return he said he was quietly sitting just looking around. I am pleased so I will carry on building up that.

Also @Frenchfancy you mentioned Canicross, I had no idea was a ‘proper’ sport, we always had in mind teaching him to cycle with us, him running by us as we enjoy that activity as a family a lot but I didn’t realise that you could go a step further with them pulling on the harness etc, they say 18 months is when dogs can do canibike. I will read more about that, obviously a way to go for that but good to have in mind.
Pup is getting better in car too, we now have him more comfortable in a really fluffy blanket with toy and he just goes to sleep, he used to be terrible in the car, shaking and drooling.

@HappyThursdays , what method did you use to teach the wait command? We really need to teach him that

Thanks @Retrievemysanity that's really reassuring! Fingers crossed it works that way for us too! I think I'll try doing a 1 min trip round the block each day I have they car, and play & treat with him in the back before we leave and again after we get back. Wish me luck!

@lyraa Frenchpup isn't attached in the car, just held by the passenger.

Our old Ddog was never attached, she didn't like the boot so tended to travel in the passenger footwell.

I've put a post about collar vs harness on the doghouse forum to get some more experienced pov. It is clearly a contentious issue.

I hope it’s ok to jump on here to ask for some help. We brought our first puppy home 4 days ago. She’s a wee cockapoo, 9 weeks old today. I am really struggling. Can anyone offer some advice and reassurance? I’ve cried more in the last 3 days than this whole year. Just feeling totally overwhelmed with keeping her safe and managing toileting and nipping and not chewing everything. I feel like I’ve been trapped in my kitchen with her and am totally neglecting my kids. My youngest is terrified of her, but my oldest adores her and would be heartbroken if we couldn’t keep her. But I’m having to seriously wonder if I can cope. I was in a minor car accident on the way home with pup. We are both totally fine physically (she barely stirred), but I genuinely thought at one point I wasn’t going to make it. So I think all of that is muddled up together, if that makes sense. When did it start to feel easier with your puppies?

@Mumof3andpup

I hope it’s ok to jump on here to ask for some help. We brought our first puppy home 4 days ago. She’s a wee cockapoo, 9 weeks old today. I am really struggling. Can anyone offer some advice and reassurance? I’ve cried more in the last 3 days than this whole year. Just feeling totally overwhelmed with keeping her safe and managing toileting and nipping and not chewing everything. I feel like I’ve been trapped in my kitchen with her and am totally neglecting my kids. My youngest is terrified of her, but my oldest adores her and would be heartbroken if we couldn’t keep her. But I’m having to seriously wonder if I can cope. I was in a minor car accident on the way home with pup. We are both totally fine physically (she barely stirred), but I genuinely thought at one point I wasn’t going to make it. So I think all of that is muddled up together, if that makes sense. When did it start to feel easier with your puppies?

Puppy regret and feeling overwhelmed is very common. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and just keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will get better.

@Mumof3andpup I felt exactly the same when we first got puppy, the lack of sleep and complete overhaul of our normal routine gave me major puppy regret too!

Please don’t worry, we’ve had puppy for just over 4 weeks now and everything is a lot better now we’re used to him and have an understanding of his routine and how he works.

Regarding keeping her safe, they’re a lot tougher than you think, have you got a space for her where you know there’s nothing she can chew or harm herself? Don’t feel guilty about leaving her there for 5 minutes whilst you take a breather, she won’t hate you for it!

With toilet training we have good and bad days, but just remind yourself she’ll get there in the end and you’ll have a dog your family will love

For nipping, I’ve found that this tends to happen when puppy has got over excited and is verging on overtired. I tend to put him into his sleeping area (in the kitchen for us) and sit at the kitchen table so he can see me but can’t get to me and he usually settles down for a nap for an hour and wakes up in a much better mood.

Sorry for the long post, but hopefully this is helpful!

@C4itl this is all so helpful and reassuring. Thank you SO much!

@BiteyShark thank you so much 💗

@Mumof3andpup , it is all perfectly normal, I had puppy regret a few days in (week 2 now), one of the things helped me was to keep things realistic. I read a lot about what training they should get, basic commands, etc etc at some point I thought never mind basic commands if I can get pup to toilet outside and let me sleep! So I set my expectations a lot lower and concentrated on having a rest, took naps when I could (think newborn times), went and bought ready meals, basically I tried to make my days as easy as I could.
Having a rested puppy I also think it helps, does he have a place , eg crate, where he normally goes to rest un disturbed? If he is there nobody is allowed to engage with him, that is his safe heaven, I think my pup once he got the hang of resting during the day with proper naps he behaved better, but I recognise that there are pups more ‘spirited’ than others and might take more energy, but don’t be too hard on you. Just remember that you will probably have the most wonderful family pet once this stage is over
Also, do you have opportunity to have help to look after pup? I am already looking at puppy sitting for a couple of hours a week from Jan/Feb I think we all need down time, or even a family friend that can help? It will also be good to have pup used to being with others.

@Mumof3andpup Aw it's like reading my own post from last month! I felt exactly the same. I actually ended up signed off work with stress over the whole thing (there are other things going on but the puppy blues definitely played a part in it). I cried to my partner when she was 10 weeks wanting to re-home her before she got too old, but also was so worried something would happen to her I was making myself ill. It was a really odd and difficult time. I'd say it took 3 or 4 weeks for us too. We got her at 8 weeks though so it might be less for you. The turning point for us was when she was vaccinated and we could take her out, burn off some of that energy.

Also try not to put so much pressure on yourself with the toilet training, biting etc. I was so busy for the first few weeks trying to read all the books and online resources and do everything properly that I forgot to enjoy her. Once I relaxed she relaxed, and everything has just fallen into place. We still have a long way to go! But I honestly know how you feel. You'll get there. Do you have a partner to sit in the kitchen with her and give you a bit of a break or are you doing it all on your own?

Exactly the same, puppy regret feeling bit each day it gets a little easier (and then sometimes hard again!) This thread has been amazing for giving me solutions, venting, and realistic expectations and advice.

@Mumof3andpup regarding keeping her safe and the chewing, can you puppy proof as much as possible. We moved everything out of reach, cable protectors on wires, a pen to contain her when we can’t watch her etc just practical things to make life easier. Lots of chews like ears and pizzles. Kongs and puzzle toys to occupy pup while you deal with the kids. Lickimats for calming activities.

Toileting, well, if they have accidents, it’s not the end of the world is it and honestly, I found this bit goes quickly as their bladders mature rapidly.

The nipping, I’ve struggled and continue to struggle with this, I won’t lie and mine is 16 weeks now but this is the only thing I would say is bad if you know what I mean. My eldest is also scared of her. What has helped a bit is me holding a treat or yak chew for pup to nibble while eldest strokes or brushes her and letting them play tug games over a stair gate so they are separated. My pup is massive now so the jumping and nipping is scary so I do sympathise.

It can get overwhelming and you’re definitely in the worst period but things do settle down.

I agree with what everyone is saying about not putting too much pressure on yourself. Before we got puppy I joined so many Facebook groups for the breed that were all giving advice/opinions on how the puppies should be trained, what they should be doing and how many tricks they should know by the time they’re a certain age and I found it all very overwhelming! I ended up just leaving the groups and just focussing on the basics like others have said above - toilet training, sleeping through the night etc. We’re all a lot happier for doing so.

This forum has been a saving grace to know that others are having the same struggles in a completely non-judgemental way!

@Mumof3andpup Completely the same here. You are among friends who understand! 4wks in here. My children shied away until this fourth week and her manners are getting a bit better.

@Mumof3andpup I agree with the others, give it time. I posted not so long ago about my children (7&5) hiding from the puppy and me being stuck on my own in the kitchen.
Tonight they've played nicely and puppy worked for her dinner by following their commands to sit, fetch, come etc.
I was able to go for a wee leaving them all together while this was going on confident that they were alll fine and behaving appropriately. It's obviously not perfect all the time but it's much better than a few weeks ago.

@Mumof3andpup hang on in there! it does get easier...have you got a means to separate the kids from the dog like a child gate or a pen?

we have training again today. The trainer said she is fully expecting puppy to be walking on the lead perfectly now. I think she's in for a bit of a surprise. I would say he is 50% improved since last week but we are definitely not there yet and I can't see us being there in another week yet either! But definite improvements

he had a lovely play this morning with a friendly adult cocker who lives nearby who we happened to bump into in the park. We also met a 15 week old cocker puppy who was already off lead and about a third if not a quarter the size of ours. Ours is so boisterous, he really is quite something in the energy stakes but also his enthusiasm for everything and everyone knows no bounds. We have not met one other puppy or dog who is as lively as him, he really is a handful but we do love him the way he is though we are clearly going to need to carry on doing lifetime training with him.

I'm a little bit annoyed as I can see the other people in the household have not been following the 'don't stroke him when he jumps up, wait for him to sit down' mantra and it's amazing how quickly the training unfolds. It's so important we all do the same thing because he's so boisterous and he's going to be bigger than the average cocker and he had grasped that 'sit down to greet' fast. It just shows how you have to keep on with the training all the time!

@Frenchfancy Looks like the collar vs harness debate is a contentious issue!

@HappyThursdays our cocker puppy is 14 weeks and I'm nowhere near ready to let her off the lead! She's obsessed with my partner so I think she might actually stick to him like glue but all it would take is her to get a scent or to get spooked and she could be off. We had her out on the longline earlier this week and her recall was excellent (football pitch, minimal distractions) but we still have a lot of work to do. I just feel like letting them off the lead is such a big step, I'll be terrified when the day comes. We'll probably rent a secure dog field first time.

It's nice to hear that other dogs are bloody mental, sounds like yours might be even more boisterous than ours. She just loves meeting people and dogs. The owner of her daycare and the vet have both commented that she 'certainly doesn't have confidence issues' which is brilliant as a puppy but might cause us issues later if she's a bit too brave.

yes @ashmts there is no way we could let him off the lead in a busy area like a park, that wasn't fenced in. It's the roads I worry about. If he saw another dog or a squirrel ran up a tree near a road, he would still bolt now and he would keep on running. He's very focused once he has a scent and although he's improving massively at paying attention to us, it's not good enough and we'd be putting him in danger.

I'm absolutely sure that those with better behaved puppies judge us for having him on the long lead. We've had a few puppy parents come and tell us about their training and what they did like we haven't been doing anything etc. etc. but ultimately, only you know your dog and how he's likely to respond!