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Original poster

Need advice on dog showing aggression towards children

32 replies

CreamTeaDemolisher · 10/10/2020 19:09

I have recently taken on my mum's dog as her work circumstances changed and she now has to work long hours, leaving the dog on his own for long periods of time for most of the week. We agreed that he would come and live with me as I am home most of the time so have the time to care for him.

He is a labrador x border collie and is 4 and a half years old. He has been with my mum since he was a puppy and has been around my son since he was born and we have never had a problem with him showing aggression towards my son.
He has lived with us for 2 weeks now and has settled in really well, most likely as he already knew us all.

This weekend my partners children came to stay and as soon as he saw them in the house he began to growl and bark at them, his fur became raised and I noticed he was shaking as well.

At first we thought he was nervous as there were new people in his territory and he calmed down with reassurance from us and became able to sit in the same room as the children without growling or barking. But if out of the house for any length of time, he would start the growling and barking upon return again. By the end of the day he had begun to tolerate the children in the room with him but would bark and snap at them at any sudden movement and was not comfortable with them stroking or touching him.

I'm really looking for advice on how to approach and handle this situation. Would it be best to contact a trainer to help us with his behaviour? In the mean time is there anything I can do to encourage positive interaction between them or would it be best to keep them separate? He has never shown behaviour like this towards my son who is 3 but I am now worried about their interactions.

Please no harsh comments as I realise I have been naive not to think of this possibility, I am just looking for advice from others experienced with dogs and their behaviour. Thanks.

OP posts:
PollyRoulson · 10/10/2020 19:56

Get a qualfied behaviourist in to help not a trainer. I would book a vets appointment on Monday and get them to check him over and also recommend a behaviourist. Your insurance may pay.

In the meantime keep him away from the visiting children, give him a quiet room to be in and allow no interaction. It is really important at this stage that he does not interact at all, no mistakes by anyone (in my case DH! ) accidentley letting them meet.

I would also be extremely careful now with interactions with your son - the dog may be above threshold after the days meetings so would also keep separate from you DS until you can get advise in rl.

PollyRoulson · 10/10/2020 19:57

sorry about typos

Original poster
CreamTeaDemolisher · 10/10/2020 20:12

Thank you for you reply. I already have him booked in for a general check up on Monday so I will speak to the vet about it and get a recommendation for a behaviourist if I can. My partners children are here for the whole of tomorrow but then they go home so I will keep him separate until they go & also from my DS. This really has thrown me as I've never seen him react like this to anyone so I wasn't expecting it and don't know how to proceed for the best!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2020 20:15

This dog has been through a massive upheaval and is probably very stressed. I would not want that dog anywhere near children. It's a disaster waiting to happen. A 3 year old child and a nervous, stressed dog is a horrible combination.

Branleuse · 10/10/2020 20:17

The dog will have to go back to your mum when other children come round

Veterinari · 10/10/2020 20:24

You need to totally separate him from the children. His behaviour is not unusual - children are noisy and erratic and very stressful for dogs.

He needs a safe haven where he can relax with a treat and which is entirely off limits to children. He must never be disturbed there or when he's eating or sleeping.

You need to educate yourself about safe dog child interactions - check out blue dog, doggone safe, and Sophia Yin websites and search for child-dog safety and dog body language articles

Also read about trigger stacking - this dog has had a stressful few weeks. Ensure you're observing his body language and responding to his stress signals by minimising stressors.

Encourage DC to leave him be, and to never interact with him unsupervised

villainousbroodmare · 10/10/2020 20:26

Keep him completely separate from all children including your son until vet and trained behaviourist have evaluated.

Original poster
CreamTeaDemolisher · 10/10/2020 20:28

I've spoken with my mum and she has agreed to have him on the weekends my step children visit. Does this sound like it would be the best option? I will still speak to the vet and contact a behaviour specialist as I am now concerned about how the dog may react to my son even though he has never shown him any aggression before he has clearly shown that children make him stressed.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2020 20:33

I fear the going back and forth to your mother's is only going to make the poor dog even more distressed.

MrsVeryTired · 10/10/2020 20:34

When I had DS I already had a dog, she was fine with DS (never left alone) but if he had friends round she would often get growly and had to be put indoors when they were playing outside or in another room if indoors. It could be that the dog will be fine with your son but not more children. Obviously always supervise but don't assume the dog will change towards your son.

Original poster
CreamTeaDemolisher · 10/10/2020 20:46

Oh gosh, you're probably right about the back and forth being more stressful and confusing for the poor dog. Sad Ok, so probably the best course of action is to keep them separate for now and speak to the vet on Monday and go from there.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2020 20:49

Couldn't your mother get a dog walker so she can keep him?

PollyRoulson · 10/10/2020 20:54

@Aquamarine1029

I fear the going back and forth to your mother's is only going to make the poor dog even more distressed.
No I doubt this will be the case. If the dog was happy at your Mums then it will carry on being happy at your Mums.
Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2020 20:58

Aquamarine1029

"I fear the going back and forth to your mother's is only going to make the poor dog even more distressed."

No I doubt this will be the case. If the dog was happy at your Mums then it will carry on being happy at your Mums.

It's not being at the mum's that's the issue. Of course the dog will be happy there because that's his home. The dog may become more distressed being taken away from it's home yet again and repeatedly.

PollyRoulson · 10/10/2020 21:12

@Aquamarine1029

Aquamarine1029

"I fear the going back and forth to your mother's is only going to make the poor dog even more distressed."

No I doubt this will be the case. If the dog was happy at your Mums then it will carry on being happy at your Mums.

It's not being at the mum's that's the issue. Of course the dog will be happy there because that's his home. The dog may become more distressed being taken away from it's home yet again and repeatedly.

I strongly doubt this. Dogs go to day care and have dog walkers and are as happy as can be.
Original poster
CreamTeaDemolisher · 10/10/2020 21:12

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond, I have taken all the advice on board.

OP posts:
Swimminginroses · 10/10/2020 22:03

I am a dog owner but I would absolutely 100% take the dog back to your mums and refuse to have it in my house again personally.

MrsVeryTired · 11/10/2020 13:05

I don't think the going to your mum's will be stressful, it's probably just the extra children. My old dog that I mentioned earlier was otherwise fantastic and everybody remembers her as a great dog, we could take her to stay with family (adults) no problem, were just very cautious anywhere there was a few children (sometimes it was just 1 too many).

Everardscastle · 11/10/2020 13:18

I doubt the dog is ill, it's more likely to be stressed, but check up never a bad thing.There are lots of cases of generally placid dog showing aggression when visiting children come to stay. Honestly it's one of the most common scenarios when DC get bitten. The level of energy goes up. DC are loud and move their arms and legs in unexpected ways. DC are maybe running around so the dog chases them and gets over-excited. Maybe the DC are too hands on with the dog. I would always recommend that a dog is put somewhere safe when children it doesn't know well come to visit. And when introductions do take place it should be done very gradually on another occasion when it's calm and quiet and the children can be instructed one by one and under strict supervision and over a long period of time.

vanillandhoney · 11/10/2020 14:06

@Aquamarine1029

I fear the going back and forth to your mother's is only going to make the poor dog even more distressed.
That's very unlikely. Lots of dogs go to daycare or kennels several times. week, or go between separate homes, and they're fine. Mine goes to my in-laws while we work and he's not had any issues. He can spend 3-4 days a week there if we're both busy.

If he's happy with OP when the step children aren't present, and he's happy with her mum too, it's unlikely to cause any problems. Dogs are remarkably adaptable.

Branleuse · 11/10/2020 14:09

dogs arent usually unsettled going between houses of people they love. I think that will be the best solution

Original poster
CreamTeaDemolisher · 11/10/2020 14:27

I had the vets appointment booked before I showed the aggression, just as a general check up on him but while I'm there I'll mention this to the vet to see if they can recommend a behaviour specialist that I can get some advice from regarding how to proceed with introductions and the appropriate ways children should interact as well.
He really is a lovely dog and is very loving, he is confident with other dogs and adults, but I don't think he's met many children other than my son who he has known since my son was a baby so perhaps children just stress him out. We have kept them separate for today until my step children go home and won't leave my son unsupervised around him. Thank you all for your replies, I just got very panicked as it was not something I had prepared for given how relaxed and friendly he has always been. Hopefully we can work on his behaviour and help him feel more relaxed.

OP posts:
movingonup20 · 11/10/2020 14:35

Collies are sensitive to change but are very trainable but speak to a trainer experienced in collies (my vet is a farm vet so very good with them). Generally they do prefer peace and quiet and aren't overly sociable, they'll take themselves off and it's essential children don't then invade their safe place. They are actually good at being left (mine basically was grumbling at lockdown because we dared to be home and took haven in the spare room!) so depending on your dms hours, it might be better for ddog to live there if family life isn't for them. Btw, snarling and growling is just a warning of being scared, mine is purebred so not sure exactly what effect the cross has but I've never had any issues with biting, but he has always disappeared when visitors arrived when kids were smaller, once they were bigger he would sneak back into the room to check out the situation if noise levels weren't high (squawking teens were not his idea of fun)

movingonup20 · 11/10/2020 14:39

Oh and I don't walk mine near children because he hates being chased by children shouting sheepdog! But he loves my niece and nephew and brings them "gifts" of soggy tennis balls into their pushchairs/car seats! They only like "their" children but they can learn to like others, it takes time

Original poster
CreamTeaDemolisher · 11/10/2020 14:48

movingonup20 thank you for your reply, that's very interesting and informative. The reason my mum wanted to rehome him to us was because she was out of the house for 14 hours due to work and this was for 4-5 days of the week so he wasn't getting enough exercise or attention and he became quite miserable. But you could be right that family life isn't suited to him as it's a big change for him. I feel he's settled with us well as he has known us since he was a puppy and up until this weekend he has seemed happy. I don't want to make things worse for him as he's a lovely boy and we just want to give him a good life.

OP posts:
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