How to cope with dogs + cats + baby!

[Anxiousgirl23]

Hi everyone,

So I am feeling a little stressed...
I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my first baby, we have 3 cats (ages 9 and 11) which I’ve had since they were kittens and we also have two pugs (ages 1 and nearly 2) who we got in the last year or so.

I love the dogs to bits but they have always been pretty difficult to manage and have started to feel very stressed recently about how it’s going to be managing them with a newborn baby.

The main issue is barking at every little noise...our older pug goes mental at the door and often even if the noise is from elsewhere will assume it’s the door and run like a maniac and jump up at letterbox and bark. He also barks at rain noise on the conservatory roof, noises from next door...

They also wind up the cats especially one of them who is a big softie and gets in their way and unwittingly encourages them. I feel like I’m constantly having to manage them.

Also struggle to walk the dogs, can’t be walked together as race each other and pull on the lead something ridiculous and even when walked separately it’s still pretty difficult, I have no idea how I’ll be able to push a pram and walk even one of them at the same time.

I just feel like instead of enjoying time with our newborn daughter, we’ll be spending the entire time managing the dogs. They are also very jumpy and kicky and concerned they’ll hurt her...

Any suggestions?

You need to get yourself to training classes and train the dogs, but at those ages it will be a long and slow process I'm afraid to say.

Dogs will pull automatically and need to be taught otherwise but pulling is one of those things that's beneficial to them so they're reluctant to stop once they've started! It can take months if not years though - and not all methods work on all dogs so be prepared for a lot of trial and error and a lot of standing around waiting for them to stop trying to pull you.

The barking can be solved with teaching a quiet command - as soon as they stop, great, then eventually add a command and use the command to stop the barking.

In the meantime can you make sure the dogs and cats have space away from each other and that the dogs have a safe space away from the baby where you can leave them when necessary.

Ask your vet for an urgent referral to a behaviourist who can work with you 1-on-1 (or 1-on-2!) with the dogs so you can understand their triggers & behaviours better, and learn training & management techniques that actually work for them & you. You say
‘we/our’ so I’m assuming you have a partner, he/she is going to have to step up massively as well so the dogs have consistency from the pair of you.

First off separate your downstairs with stairgates so the dogs have an area away from where you and baby will be, and get them used to it now. Make it extremely fun - lots of treats and toys, so it’s not a punishment to be away from you. That way you can pop the dogs away when baby is having tummy time etc. Don’t just lock them out all of the time though!

Then invest in a stretchy wrap sling, so you can wear baby and they are up and out of the way.

You need to get in touch with a GOOD behaviourist (one that is accredited) and get them to come out and do 1-1 with you now. You have 6-8 weeks to put the effort in now and lay good groundwork. Obviously you need to do this every day with them.

I think you are possibly wanting people to say you should rehome them, but you owe the dogs the chance to get better before baby arrives.

And please take this as a lesson - never get another dog when the first one isn’t bloody well trained. Everything the dogs are doing is natural, it’s your job to teach them how you want them to act and you’ve slacked off a bit there. It is fixable, but you need to put the effort in.

@teddyisahe no not looking for people to say to rehome them. That is not an option. Like I said we love the dogs to bits but they are difficult sometimes.

We did take the younger one to puppy classes when we first got him but unfortunately the last few sessions were cancelled due to the virus.

The main issue I have is that my dh doesn't seem to think there's an issue so we are not on the same page... So trying to persuade him that we need to pay for 1-1 training will be virtually impossible. He seems to think it's normal for dogs to behave like this and while maybe it is normal in the sense that it's their natural behaviour, it's not normal to let it carry on and I know many other people who have dogs who don't behave like this

I feel that this is a behavioural issue rather than a training issue. Speak to a qualified behavourist asap and get a plan in place so that by the time the baby arrives you are more in control of the situation. Behavourists will have seen this situation before and many are offereing zoom calls. If you need help researching one feel free to ask

@pollyroulson thanks. Yes I think it is because in honesty we have tried pretty hard to train these behaviours out of them but it just isn't working especially with the older one and it is becoming exhausting. I will definitely have a look into a behaviourist

As you have two, you need to train separately before you train together. This is a big reason why getting two dogs close in age can be problematic, especially if the first one isn't properly trained. The younger one just picks up bad habits and they feed off each other.

However, even individual training is going to be next to impossible if your DH isn't on board. Every adult in the house has to treat the dogs the same way and react the same way to poor behaviour else it won't work.