Am I over reacting? Seniors and standard poodle puppy?

[Stresseddogmum]

Long time lurker but finally signed up to seek the support of the Doghouse!

To try and keep it short, DM and her partner have bought a standard poodle puppy. Both are in their mid to late 70s, neither are in particular good health (DM is frail with breathing issues and partner is overweight and not mobile) and neither has had a dog before.

They have been discussing getting a puppy for a while and despite all my poking my nose in and giving them advice (don’t do it, get a small dog, get an older rescue etc etc ) they have now bought a standard poodle puppy. The puppy has yet to come home and I am terrified of what will what happen.

FWIW we ourselves have had a small dog from puppyhood. She is beautifully trained when we are out and about but it took THREE YEARS to get her to that point and she can still be a nightmare when on her everyday walk as she has a strong prey instinct. I keep thinking of the poodle pulling DM over or she loses control and the poodle is off. Am I overreacting?! Will it all actually be ok?!

Our puppy came home in June, not a poodle, a Shiba Inu, so he has the similar stubborn streak mixed with intelligence but a similar size to a miniature poodle (a breed I had considered).

As expected Link is hard work, we’re at just at a point of being able to enjoy him and relax a tiny bit, but we’re well aware that he will soon be a teenager.

We’re 32 and 28, but he knackers us out, especially the sleepless nights during toilet training. We live in a flat which is fine as I can carry him up/down the stairs for the toilet. Will your mums partner be able to carry the dog up/down the stairs?

Honestly unless you really want a standard poodle I would tell Mum he has to go back to the breeder...

@RandomMess I will ask if the breeder will have her back, but various things have happened to make me think the breeder isn’t reputable so I wouldn’t rely on this being an option. We were considering a second and bigger dog anyway in a couple of years so it’s not AS mad as it sounds. We’re a very active family with loads of off leads walks near us, plus Dh runs so can train the dog to run with him, provided we get it early enough!

@ABitOdd I have been researching poodles recently too (can’t think why 🙄) and I think as long as you given the stimulation they require through training and exercise they are a good pet. I just don’t think Dm and partner have the stamina to do this (and I would think this for any large dog.)

@SimonJT who knows! Have stopped giving my advice as it was never taken!

Uh @Stresseddogmum you haven’t included insurance in those costings. Our five year old lab was £30 a month to begin with, with PetPlan. That’s now gone up to £60 a month and that’s with no claims whatsoever, just because he’s getting older. That will put it well into three figures.

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig we pay insurance annually so hadn’t included. Interesting that is how much your lab costs!!!(ddog much less than £30 per month). Dm and partner not going to bother with insurance so let’s hope they don’t get hit with a big bill early on 🙄

Dm and partner not going to bother with insurance so let's hope they don't get his with a big bill early on

No insurance means no third party cover.

If their large, lively dog is beyond their control and does something like run into the road and causes an accident they might find they get hit with a very big bill indeed.

Can get 3rd Party cover separately, the dogs trust membership includes it for a very reasonable £12.50 a year for seniors. www.dogstrust.org.uk/get-involved/membership/

I hope they've some savings, Vet bills can easily run into thousands and then aren't limited to once in a lifetime occurrence, even medications can be huge cost. Someone I know adopted a dog & first day had it home dog broke its leg awkwardly, needed orthopedic surgery & hydrotherapy rehab.
If you think you'd likely be taking ownership anyway I'd be tempted to gift them insurance cover for first 6m to year just so you don't end up screwed over financially as anything on dogs vet notes will end up excluded.

@pigsDOfly

Dm and partner not going to bother with insurance so let's hope they don't get his with a big bill early on

No insurance means no third party cover.

If their large, lively dog is beyond their control and does something like run into the road and causes an accident they might find they get hit with a very big bill indeed.

This. I recommend as a minimum doing what Scattie says - you get legal and 3rd party cover through Dogs' Trust and access to a veterinary helpline. With the bonus that your membership supports the dogs they look after.

We have a standard poodle cross and she's a lunatic. She's also lovely, cuddly etc, but at 13 months old she is currently mostly a dickhead.

She pulled me over in some mud the other day (she generally doesn't pull anymore, but I took my eye off the ball for a moment and she went).

I love BIG dogs, I am so glad circumstances lead me to getting a smallish dog that doesn't do mud or water 😂

@pigsDOfly

Dm and partner not going to bother with insurance so let's hope they don't get his with a big bill early on

No insurance means no third party cover.

If their large, lively dog is beyond their control and does something like run into the road and causes an accident they might find they get hit with a very big bill indeed.

Urggghhh this hadn't occurred to me. They live near a busy main road and one of my worst case scenarios was the dog pulling free and racing across that road. I can’t actually engage with dm anymore on this issue (but OUR dog will be trained, OUR dog won’t pull etc etc ) so think I will just gift them that Dogs Trust insurance.

Also it’s not uncommon for some big dogs to end up on medication costing £100 a month

I think if you will be happy to take the dog on if when it goes wrong I would seriously think of gifting full insurance and not just third party.

You don't want to be in a position where you can only insure it with a list of preexisting conditions excluded.

I could not imagine getting a puppy if I were in my mid 70s. People may like the look of a dog but it has to fit in with your lifestyle. I had to give advice to a man once. He got a husky from a rescue and he was 65. He could not cope. The couple with the poodle should have took in a older dog from a rescue. Breeders are all about the money.

I could not imagine getting a puppy if I were in my mid 70s

I'll be 72 in a few months. I'm fit, can still run about a bit and have no health problems.

However, there is no way I would ever consider getting a puppy of any size at my age, let alone a standard poodle.

I got my dog as an 8 week old puppy when I retired. She's 9 years old now, weighs 6.5 kilo and I feel we are perfectly suited.

We have two walks of more or less half an hour each every day. Sometimes the walks are a bit longer, sometimes a bit shorter depending on how she's feeling.

I worked hard on training her to be a well behaved, well mannered happy dog. It took time and patience and the teenage months took even more patience.

Now my lovely dog and I are growing old(ish) together. We have a strong bond and we understand each other perfectly. I certainly wouldn't want to start with another puppy at my age.

OP, given that your DM and her partner are adults there's obviously not a lot you can do to stop them getting this unsuitable dog but good to hear you'll be there to pick up the pieces when this all goes wrong; thank goodness, for the dog's sake, you're willing and able to do that.

Long time standard poodle owner here and I feel must speak in defence of them!

They are one of the two most intelligent breeds of dogs and so require firm and consistent training, but they do respond well to it. Because they're so intelligent, they require mental stimulation as well and this is why they can be so lively. They're not obsessively neurotic like collies though!

Remeber, they're all individuals! Not every standard is going to be hard work. As your parents are set on a standard, they should look for the calmest in a litter- and do their research! Check the poodle parents also have calm natures and ask as many questions as you need about the health & temperament of the bloodline.

Obedience classes are a must for them, I think, as first time dog owners and because standards grow up to be strong dogs - it's essential they get the training right from the start.

If they were my parents I'd absolutely share your concerns about the dog's strength so definitely invest in obedience training from the start.
They're not large to start with though, so your parents will have time to get a solid foundation in place.

Make sure they have their pup neutered and discourage behaviour such as jumping up to greet or in excitement from the start, however adorable it is in puppyhood. Unlike with smaller breeds, you can't afford to be relaxed with training just because 90% of the time they get it right and they're-such-a-lovely-boy/girl-and-not-being-naughty!

If your parents aren't responding to the idea that they might get pulled over, ask them how they would feel if their dog broke free and dashed into the path a vehicle.

Make sure they're ready for adolescence because, as with any dog, a standard may try to test boundaries so training may need to be reinforced during this stage.

Standards are very loving, have wonderful, gentle temperaments though and a great sense of humour.
I've only ever known them to be great and very gentle with children...but again, how would your parents feel if on a walk a child was accidentally knocked over?

On walks, however well behaved your dog might be, some people (and children) get very nervous around big dogs - especially if they're being exuberant, so while the dog may be behaving perfectly well, it's again important to perfect it's responses to commands (recall/sit/stay/leave etc)

*unlike perhaps with other breeds

I meant to say (& generalising a bit - obviously sound training important for all breeds!

Thanks @TaraR2020 I do feel I should point out that in an earlier post I did say I'd feel the same about ALL large dogs I have been researching poodles and they do seem to be a lovely breed provided you put the work in (as with most dogs tbh). My concern is that dm and her partner no longer have the strength and stamina to do all or any of what you said above. Anyway I think they are picking the pup up in a few days so I guess we'll know sooner rather than later!

Honestly they are amazing family dogs. If you end up with it you will be very happy. Great with kids and other dogs. Don’t drop hair. Very loving and affectionate.
They do need mental stimulation as they are very clever.

Standards are getting a bit of a hammering here mind! Not that I am suggesting they are suitable for your Mum and her partner.
But I have 7 and non of them are lunatics or bad tempered!
They are large strong dogs but very human orientated and trainable. I think they have a reputation of being ‘aloof’ because they are really only interested in ‘their’ humans, rather than strangers - but mine would do anything for me and my family. They are exceptionally gentle around my son (2yrs) even the youngsters who are 18mths old and really quite bouncy still.
As I said, not suitable for you Mum but please don’t dread ending up with a standard they are fabulous dogs!

We had a poodle, he was lovely - lived until about 16 though, so I’m glad you will have him/her if anything happens. It’ll probably give them a new lease of life.

@HAB86 I think I am more dreading ending up with a puppy! Because of ddog’s size we were able to use a pen but am guessing that is not an option for standards 😂. It was easily one of the most stressful periods of my life but the dc were 4 and 2 which possibly added to it! Bit older now and obviously the pup would learn from ddog so hopefully not as mad. That’s if we get it of course, dm and partner could be naturals 🤞🏻

I’d love a dog that focused on me, ddog is a BIG fan of other people (and their treat bags!!)

@Stresseddogmum
They do very quickly grow out of any puppy pens 😂
Fingers crossed for a happy ending one way or the other!

@HAB86 7!! your house sounds amazing!

@Stresseddogmum so you did - I'm afraid the perils of reading threads at stupid o'clock in the morning meant I missed some detail :D