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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Puppy survival thread *September!*

999 replies

JuiceyBetty · 01/09/2020 10:51

Can't believe we're in September now, our babies are growing up!

Newbies always welcome especially if they come bearing photos....

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Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 09:21

morning all...

Well it always seems 2 steps forward and 10 back with bunglepup.. he was awake every 2 hours last night... i cant do this anymore he sleeps one night from 11-5 then the next hes up all night! WTF is wrong with the dog? Have i got a faulty one?!

Ive tried the following but im open to suggestions to try anything!
A ticking clock in his basket
a hot water bottle
feeding him supper/not feeding him supper
late night walk/no late night walk
nap before bed/no nap before bed
kong/no kong

i have made a decision that he has 4 weeks before we will rehome him, i just cant do this anymore his toileting isnt getting any better, last night i stood with him in the garden for 2 hours... played did a wee then came in a pooped on my kitchen floor...

everyone keeps saying it gets better but at the moment i am in a very dark place (not to mention the MIL/FIL living with us and constantly moaning)

Bunglepup lunged quite aggressively at my DD who was curled up on the sofa to bite her toes and i know deep down its teething but what if im wrong and he is aggressive and bites the kids how will i ever forgive myself? We've tried swapping us for a toy but hes not interested, we've resorted to putting him in his pen for time out and that does seem to reset him but im seriously in a dark place with it all at the moment...

Please help (or if not just a handhold will do!)

LBee2020 · 17/09/2020 09:28

@bungle I hate to say it but with sleeping it just seems to take some pups longer than others. Some things that seemed to work for us is leaving some clothing in the crate that smells like you, blocking any light sources and playing classic FM.

puppygalore · 17/09/2020 09:43

Ouch! I hope that heals quickly. My arm has only just recovered from a mistaken toy grab 3 weeks ago so I feel your pain!

Do any of you do 'enforced naps'? I read about it yesterday on a few other forums, also the 1 hour awake 2 asleep rule. It has always seemed like Pup stayed awake much longer than that but I think I'm going to try and stick to it a bit more as she's definitely happier after a good sleep. Also I have really only been using the crate for feeds, overnight and quick school runs and the rest of the time been with her and feeling like I can't put her in, but also take my eyes off her while I didn't want to shut her away. But I realised that pup was getting super jumpy, bitey and refusing to be redirected to toys, chews etc when she was overtired - I'd mistaken it for energy and kept on playing. I felt horrible at first but when I saw her playing getting aggressive, I put her into the crate with a chewy bone and lo and behold she just crashed out and had a good sleep without a single protest.

In the evenings we've previously been trying to have 'family time' with her but she was getting too excited, very jumpy and nibbly which was too stressful for everyone. She is obsessed with jumping up at my little girl and getting bitey with feet, and no amount of ignoring or NO was making a difference. So yesterday I had her on the lead for being around the kids and focussed on giving her treats for not jumping up and being calm, this seemed to be working very well. Then after her tea and a good tug game and playing football, I felt like she was due a nap and crated her again. This meant both H and I could do kids' bedtimes and spend time with them instead of tag teaming us eating our tea, getting kids sorted and puppy-sitting. Once again she just lay down for a sleep. Usually she'd have gotten bitey, jumping and barking until crashing out, or else fallen asleep but woken up every 5 mins or so to see what's going on. I was amazed at how much easier my evening became after that nap. Because she'd had a good nap she was much less cranky and bitey before bedtime and was chilled all evening. Because I properly spent time with the kids instead of dashing up and down or me and H swapping over, they were much more settled overnight too. Today after her breakfast and a play, she popped herself right in the crate for a nap and I was able to get myself and the kids ready for school and she's still asleep there now!

This is probably common sense to many, or else some will feel like I'm being awful putting her in the crate so much, but to me it's been a revelation. I think I need to stop thinking of it like a cage and instead realise it's her 'den' and it's ok to encourage her to snuggle up in there when she needs good undisturbed rest. Obviously I don't want to get into the habit of 'locking her up' all day long, but for those flashpoints and high stress parts of the day I think it will be really helpful for her and for the family. I think I'm just putting it here in case anyone else is feeling super stressed and has been like me not really using the crate much, and also so I don't feel as guilty!

LittlePoot · 17/09/2020 09:46

@bunglemom - sleep deprivation is a killer. I'm not surprised you're at your wits end. No advice here I'm afraid but some virtual cheering from the sidelines, whatever you end up deciding. All these issues should be temporary in which case the next four weeks should definitely see some progress. Having the in laws there as well is really tough - is that long term?? Hopefully someone wiser can come along with practical suggestions. The only thing I'd say is to make sure you get some help and an occasional break from DH/DCs. And we had a 1:1 session with a trainer yesterday which I found really helpful. I'm still a bit of an anxious basket case and pup is still a numpty, but she did give us some useful tips and games/training to try. I'm getting her back in a couple of weeks to help with traffic and walks. If you can afford it/find a trainer, a 1:1 might be helpful? x

BiteyShark · 17/09/2020 09:50

Bunglemom it does take some puppies longer to sleep than others. Ours wasn't a good sleeper at all.

For me I got through that by getting up, taking him to the garden, no eye contact, not speaking, then back to bed. And repeat (many times). For others they do the ignore, some do the sleep by them or have them in the bedroom.

For the biting again you have to find what works for you and go for it. For us it was timeouts. The exchange for toys, turning away, standing still etc did not. So we stuck with timeouts and it worked. If timeouts work for you then do them.

LittlePoot · 17/09/2020 09:51

@puppygalore - that sounds awesome! Totally agree it's a den not a cage. Pootpup less convinced so far but yesterday's trainer gave us lots of crate training tips (basically entice in and feed in different ways). Your post has made me think that's definitely worthwhile - naps in the crate would be a game changer.

Timing wise, pup seems to have got himself into a bit of a 1 hour awake, 2 (or 1.5) asleep quite a few days this week. I agree it seems his behaviour is less manic after good naps. I will reinforce.....

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 10:10

@LittlePoot Thanks very much for the cheering, just feel like im f8cking it all up...

In laws are only here temp as they sold their house and waiting on exchanging contracts on another.. however thats been 8 weeks and im at my wits end with that!

Maybe bunglepup is picking up on my stress?
to be honest hes a really good walker, not too stressed about traffic etc, he will stop but then we manage to coax him to carry on...

might try putting one of my old t shirts in there with him tonight...

failing that i will drink gin and not hear him lol

Chocolateandamaretto · 17/09/2020 10:10

Urgh last night was dreadful. His poos were solid again in the day but right before bed he had horrible diarrhoea in the garden so I knew he'd be up in the night and lo and behold, every 2 hours. we had nearly got back to normal with him going 10-4 but the last 2 nights he's been up with the shits and it's doing my head in as you have to get him out, poop, settle him, then go and hose the shit away. Yes we have the vets today but omg I am so tired and I'm at work now and every time a student says "miiiiiiiss" I just want to snap at them to sod off.

My DH has an important exam on Saturday as well so the next 2 nights are all mine to deal with so he's well rested for that. Uuuurgh.

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 10:11

@Chocolateandamaretto i feel you! i am just exhausted!

Has anything changed with food or jabs or worming?

Thats what seems to set off my knobhead not sleeping and having the poops

muckandnettles · 17/09/2020 10:36

I've not posted for a while as there is less to say these days as pup is 6 months old and a little calmer. I'm sending all the hugs and hand holds to you lot still with little bitey pups as those were terrible months. Mucky drew blood on a regular basis and I looked as if I'd been self harming. It's all cleared up now and we are more focused on getting to do what he is told outdoors. Mind you, I think he reads this thread as he proves me wrong as soon as I put something on here.

Yesterday and today (and overnight) he has been at daycare which he absolutely loves. I haven't known what to do with myself half the time without him there, which shows how much time he takes up. It's a really strange feeling for someone else to take over, but is a big relief as it means we can plan to go away just the two of us, which would be amazing. It took a while to find the right place and we had a false start at more of a kennel type place but I wasn't happy with it. I think Mucky would happily move in with this daycare place forever.

polkadotpjs · 17/09/2020 10:43

Gosh we are all having a time of it. Bunglemom- hang in there. Crate in with you maybe if he doesn't improve in sleeping
Polka pup has got infected eye as suspected too but will not have eye drops put in and DS1 says it's cruel to hold him while I do it - give me strength.

polkadotpjs · 17/09/2020 11:00

And chocolate- you're nicer than I am. I hope you get 2 nights back. This puppy is making me keep a mental tally of workload/ number of walks/ get-ups etc. I'm winning (losing?) big time

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 11:01

@polkadotpjs unfortunately he isnt crated, hes in a pen in the kitchen... tried the crate and he got that stressed he was sick in it even with us sitting next to him...

totally at my wits end to be honest and feeling like ive made a catastrophic mistake in getting him..

RedHotChiliChips · 17/09/2020 11:56

Thank you for the welcome LBee ! I took him for a little car ride today and popped over to my friend's house for 5mins. Tomorrow, I'll take him for a ride again and planning to park at my local supermarket carpark. We can sit on the open boot and watch the cars and people there. Our house is a quiet nook with hardly any passing traffic so we have to go to places.

bunglepup just a virtual hug from me. It sounds really hard for you right now and I for one won't judge you if you end up re-homing your pup. My inlaws are both dead, they were lovely but I would have hated having them for weeks and weeks. Infact I would hate to have anyone for a long period of time. I hope their house move happens soon!!

RedHotChiliChips · 17/09/2020 12:04

puppygalore I do enforced naps for mine. I only have 13 days of worth of experience but it seems to work well for mine. He's generally fairly calm and (so far) not too bitey puppy. He has his crate within his playpen, with a water bowl and some toys. After our play, I put him there and say "crate up". Not that he understands it yet, but hopefully one day! He tends to faff a bit, chew and trash his toys and then goes into his crate to settle. This set up has so far saved my sanity.

He also has a small towel that smells of his mum, and two t-shirst in there, one that I slept in and the other one is DC1's. He seems to like to snuggle into these.

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 12:08

@RedHotChiliChips
Thanks for your kind words, i am sitting at work just crying cus i feel like im losing my mind with tiredness and not wanting to go home!

please pray the house move happens soon or they might be under the patio 🤣

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 17/09/2020 12:12

@Bunglemom been there, huge sympathies, I became very frustrated with the lack of advice about a dog that won’t sleep and can’t be crated (not from here, but from professionals). When ours went back to rescue, I get the impression the foster placement were much firmer with the pup than we were. So she just was told to be quiet and she did. But the difference there was she was surrounded by other dogs. I couldn’t have managed the feeling of telling her off and then leaving her alone. Plus our neighbours would have been driven demented with the noise. No advice but big hand hold, it’s really tough. Worth a chat with your vet in case they have any useful suggestions? My only other thought is that it was much colder here last night, so maybe that has had an impact on bunglepup

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 12:16

@GingerAndTheBiscuits

Thanks for the handhold, i just feel like im shovelling snow whilst its still snowing!

Did think about the cold, it was also windy so maybe that disturbed the knobhead... i mean pup!
did you have another dog? im going to break my DD heart if i rehome the pup but i honestly have no clue what to do next.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 17/09/2020 12:31

No. For lots of complicated reasons and after a lot of reflection we’ve realised we’re not in a position to commit to one now despite our long-held enthusiasm to have one. Certainly not for many years at least, bar us ending up with a dog through some random set of circumstances or an older rescue landing in our laps. We are looking after a friend’s dog for a week soon - I think dog sitting is the way forward for us for now!

I thought our eldest DD would be devastated as she sobbed (along with me!) at the thought of us having to rehome the dog before we did. But oddly she has been absolutely fine ever since - maybe one wobbly day? I think she appreciates the newfound freedom given we were so tied to the house before. I don’t think the dog we had lined up with her vision of a dog, though they did have some lovely moments together. Our youngest was nonplussed about rehoming but has actually had more wobbly moments about her being gone. She was scared of dogs before but now loves them so if nothing else it was worth going through it for that. We were very lucky that we got to meet her new family before she went and I’ve checked in and can see she’s having a wonderful life with them - they have no young children and their adult son is besotted so all in all it worked out for the best for everyone apart from my guilt-riddled heart!

But - big but! - I am in touch with a lady that rescued one of our pup’s siblings. She felt like me (and you) and was on the verge of rehoming. She decided to just commit to it for three months and see where she was then. It was three months yesterday and she now wouldn’t be without her. It’s been a long road - the pups were 4.5 months when they came to us so a different type of challenge and she’s had multiple trainers and her pup is now medicated and they’re still working up to leaving her alone for any length of time. But it’s very clear it’s for life now! So I suppose my advice would be if you can stick it out to 3 months and everyone in the house is supportive and chipping in and you can find professional support that you’re happy with, chances are you will end up in the same situation that she is and be so pleased you stuck with it.

GazingAndGrazing · 17/09/2020 12:38

Aw Bunglemom you sound like you need a massive hug and a double gin. Is pup sleeping in your room an option? It reads like separation anxiety to me, no expert of course and you must be exhausted.

I totally enforce sleep time. Their crate is in the kitchen so I bring them in, shit the internal and external doors and ignore them. They soon get bored and go in to their crate independently. I always make sure I’m confident they have played and are well fed.

They are starting to up the biting now. Aghh who thought pups would be a great idea Hmm

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 12:57

@GingerAndTheBiscuits Aww bless you (feel free to come and take my knobhead dog a walk anytime 😉 )
My DD is 8 and she is the main reason we got the dog, she wanted one so badly and to be honest after we had our chat this morning i honestly dont think shes too bothered....

Other DD is 3 and couldnt give a flying monkey about the dog 🤣

Pup is 12 weeks old now and we have had him for 4 weeks... feel so conflicted as part of me wants to see it through and the other part doesnt know how i am going to survive

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 13:01

@GazingAndGrazing thanks, ill take both as long as you dont mind me crying on your shoulder as thats all ive done today at work...

No real option for pup in my room, it sounds selfish but ive only just got my DD who's 3 out of my room and i dont want to add in the dog... also he is having too many accidents to even contemplate going upstairs where i have carpet 😢 I might try leaving a t shirt of mine in the bed with him tonight and see how that goes, or perhaps spray some perfume under the blanket he sleeps on...

Yes who indeed?! Why did we do this to ourselves?

TriSkiRun99 · 17/09/2020 13:03

I’m sorry to hear your having a hard time bungle no advice just a handhold it sounds shit combination of no sleep & in-laws staying anyone would lose their mind. Carve out some ME time if you can.
Makes me feel guilty as I’m having a low few days with DD off school (1week in school & 1week off sick 🙄)and trying to juggle working from home but thank goodness puppy is being ok and I use enforced crate nap time she trots in there happily, normally 2hrs in the morning and a hour in the afternoon no problem and it keeps me sane! I suppose pups are like kids some sleep and some don’t (we had a non-sleeping high energy child), some are fussy eaters, some have high energy it’s just finding what works in your home to keep the balance whilst staying sane in the process. Gd luck

BiteyShark · 17/09/2020 13:06

[quote Bunglemom]@GazingAndGrazing thanks, ill take both as long as you dont mind me crying on your shoulder as thats all ive done today at work...

No real option for pup in my room, it sounds selfish but ive only just got my DD who's 3 out of my room and i dont want to add in the dog... also he is having too many accidents to even contemplate going upstairs where i have carpet 😢 I might try leaving a t shirt of mine in the bed with him tonight and see how that goes, or perhaps spray some perfume under the blanket he sleeps on...

Yes who indeed?! Why did we do this to ourselves?[/quote]
Don't completely discount pup in your room. I spent 2 years saying our dog was not going to sleep on our bed. Eventually he moved into our room, then on our bed and I think why didn't I cave earlier as it's so much better and we get more sleep and it's me that has to drag him off it for breakfast now.

As for carpets. A cheap bit of Lino over them with a playpen to cordon off that area so pup stays on it can overcome that issue temporarily.

Bunglemom · 17/09/2020 13:22

@TriSkiRun99

Thanks for the handhold... its much apricated 😊 Yeah to be honest the lady who i work with thinks im a saint for not losing my mind much sooner... my liver on the other hand is screaming for the gin to stop🤣

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