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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

My dog has just died - please help me process this

45 replies

Doggiehasgone · 07/06/2020 15:18

My elderly dog collapsed and died about 40 minutes ago. We think it must have been a heart attack. He'd just got back from a walk - my husband was taking his shoes off and I was in the living room, when the dog let out an awful, high-pitched yelp. We rushed to him and found him collapsed - my husband took him on his knee and we were stroking him and saying his name, but there was no response and a few minutes later he stopped breathing. There was nothing more we could do. We are both terribly shocked. He was fine and acting normally all day - he'd had a heart murmur for several years but it didn't appear to trouble him. We knew he wouldn't last forever, but we have never been in this position before - all my previous pets have had slow illnesses and ended up being PTS which was heartbreaking, but we were prepared for it. I feel very shaken and I can't stop thinking about his body, which we have put in a box until we can see the vet tomorrow to arrange his cremation. Please can anyone offer me some wise words - I just can't take it in that he is no longer here.

OP posts:

rosydreams · 07/06/2020 16:49

sounds like what happened to my other half's childhood pet .He was in his teens when his dachshund died.He couldn't get the back door open and the dog had died there by the door,so sad.

Just think that your dog was not alone when he died you were there and he had just had a nice walk with his favorite people.His last day was spent with you in a loving home .Its very awful what has happened but try to think you made his life special .Its hard when you lose a member of the family but give it time

Original poster

Doggiehasgone · 07/06/2020 18:38

Thank you

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Tdaadfb100 · 07/06/2020 18:54

Oh I feel for you; we lost our dog in March. It’s heartbreaking. But as others have said, he had the best life and died, swiftly, surrounded by love.
I sincerely hope I go in exactly the same way.
Cry and talk about him often and be grateful that he was in your life.
They are wonderful wonderful creatures ❤️

SierraHotel · 07/06/2020 19:00

What a massive shock. I'm sorry for your loss, take comfort from knowing you gave him a lovely life.

Ilikefresias · 07/06/2020 19:01

Oh I’m so sorry for your loss, these dogs leave a huge hole in our lives when they go

pigsDOfly · 07/06/2020 19:17

That must have been such a shock.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Never feel you could have done more for his last hours. He had a lovely walk, saying hello to other dogs and enjoying himself.

plominoagain · 07/06/2020 19:23

I'm so sorry . We lost our greyhound to heart failure in much the same way ,but we'd known it might happen for about a year . We were referred to a heart specialist who warned us that the best thing we could do , was treat her as normal , take a phone and not walk anywhere really inaccessible in case we had to carry her home . And she actually went on her walk , in pretty much her favourite place , looking over her favourite view . She'd been fine , and then suddenly she just looked at us , and keeled over . I comfort myself she didn't feel a thing

Terralee · 07/06/2020 19:40

I'm not a dog owner but my old cat who I loved very much passed away aged 10 from cancer so I do understand how awful it feels to lose a beloved pet...
I'm so sorry for your loss, it sounds like it's been a horrible shock for you.
The best thing I found is to keep talking about your pet & in time make an album of their best photos to look through. Also keep their collar & favourite toys in a box.

I did get another rescue cat who is lovely but I still miss my old cat 2 years on!!
I think pets hold a special place in our hearts as they're so loyal, innocent & affectionate.

Thinking of you...

somm · 07/06/2020 21:42

Thoughts with you, doggiehasgone, and also bumpsadaisy. I do think in time both of you will be able to look back and know your dogs had a good life, and didn't have a bad death. Even now, thinking about the young dog my family lost in 1973 due to her escaping from the garden and being run over in front of our house upsets me.

Of the three rescue dogs we've had since the late '90s that died, two needed to be put to sleep and one died unexpectedly in our living room. All the three lived to a decent age and, horrible as it is, the 'naturalness' of these deaths helped. It's just so horrible having to go through the grieving process, but they had people that really care. So many dogs don't.

somm · 07/06/2020 21:50

Oh, and to you as well, Plominoagain, so sorry. Our dogs were/are Greyhounds, so that adds an extra pang for me. But I hope that your experience offers comfort to others; in that in some cases we look back and grieve our dogs, but we don't need to grieve how it happened.

somm · 07/06/2020 22:09

Like you Terralee, we talk about our animals that have gone from our lives. It's sad but also makes them come alive again. 'Remember when ...'.

We also have/had songs for our dogs, so when you hear them on the radio in a way it brings them back to life:
Walter: ''Gay Bar', and Scissor Sisters, 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing'
Sally: Keisha 'The Party Don't Start', 'til she comes in 'with her 'bottle of Jack'
Seymour: 'Teenage Dirt Bag'
Current dog: : 'Solo Dance' > 'I came to party on my own - don't want no-one in my zone'

Original poster

Doggiehasgone · 08/06/2020 07:25

Thank you so much for all your kind words and to all who have lost a beloved cat or dog. It was very difficult last night when the time came for his evening walk, and then to go to bed without saying goodnight and checking his water was full.

We have many photos and even some videos to look back on. Somm the Gershwin music 'Walking the Dog' always makes me think of him.

I know in time it will hurt less and I do comfort myself by thinking that he was happy and active right up until the end, but it all feels so strange after so many years. Normally having just got up, I'd just have let him out into the garden and be waiting for him to scratch the patio doors to let me know he was ready to come back in.

Hopefully this morning we will be able to make the last arrangements with the vets and then try to carry on without him and wait for time to soften the loss so we can start to remember all the wonderful, wonderful times with him - all the day trips and holidays he added so much to just by being there, all the funny little things he used to do. In all his years with us he never showed a moment's ill-temper and he was so gentle with the cats and friendly to everyone he met.

We couldn't have asked for a more perfect dog and I know we were very lucky to have had him in our lives for so long - I am sure you all feel exactly the same about the beautiful companions you have lost and know what it is like to be so thankful and yet so sorrowful at the same time .

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OneNewName · 08/06/2020 21:05

I'm so sorry, what a horrible shock for you. It's nice he went with his favourite people around after a lovely walk, but it doesn't make the loss any easier.

dublingirl66 · 11/06/2020 14:14

Sending you lots of ice xx

dublingirl66 · 11/06/2020 14:14

Love

Campalumpa · 11/06/2020 14:33

Sorry that your dog had died so suddenly and unexpectedly.

My 12 year old dog became very unwell one night, he came and woke me up I think to let me know that he was leaving. I called the vets at 1am and the vet said he would probably be gone my the morning. He survived the night, seemed OK but collapsed two days later. Took him to the vets and it turned out he had a undetected tumour on his spleen which had ruptured. He was PTS there and then in the car as too ill to move him with me stroking him but probably would have died very quickly anyway.

The suddenness was horrible but at least we didn't witness him lose control of his body and functions and have to wonder when the right time to end his suffering would be. He had had a wonderful life until that point and his end was relatively quick. it sound slike your darling dog was the same.

spiderlight · 11/06/2020 16:49

I am so sorry. What an awful, awful shock for you, but swift and peaceful for him, at home with his family, surrounded by love. It sounds as if he had a long, full and happy life but there's no pain quite like it when they leave us

Original poster

Doggiehasgone · 11/06/2020 17:57

Yes, now that a few days have passed I am becoming more reconciled to the thought that it was by far the best ending from his point of view. He was happy and lively until his last moments and that is what I am trying to focus on. We are nowhere near adjusting to the change of routine and his usual walk times are particularly difficult for us - it would be too poignant to go out for a walk at those times without him. Campalumpa your situation sounds very similar and it really is a comfort to think we were with our beloved dogs in their last moments

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Kopsy · 11/06/2020 18:13

So sorry for your loss

theemmadilemma · 11/06/2020 18:18

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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