Who should have moved out of the way in this situation?

[Velveteal]

Just had a very minor incident but I’m new to all of this and I came away feeling like I’d done something wrong.

Walking pup who’s 6 months old on lead on a normal pavement (not wide but wide enough for 2 people to cross paths comfortably).

Lady coming around the corner towards us with her dog on lead. Pup gets excited and pulls to the end of his lead (which is about 4ft long) there’s still 30ft between myself and the lady.

As she sees us approaching she shouted ‘my dog is NOT friendly’, she made no attempt to change direction and kept coming towards us so I crossed the road with pup.

So no drama at all but I thought shouldn’t she have been the one to cross over? She really shouted at me, which I understand but her tone was as if I was in the wrong. Shouldn’t she have shouted ‘sorry, my dog isn’t friendly’ and turned immediately to cross instead I had to get out of the way for her.

I agree op that some posters on this topic get quite bristly, not sure why.

In that scenario I would have felt a bit annoyed as well, you're right if her dog is reactive she should be the one crossing over.

My 8 month old pup has decided to take a dislike to French bulldogs (after one bulldozed him over) so if I see one coming I move to avoid any unnecessary confrontation.

We were 30 foot away! He didn’t run, he wasn’t bouncing!! He’s a tiny puppy. We crossed the road. I’m not happy to be shouted at by someone with a reactive dog!

You said he got excited and ran to the end of his lead which was 4 foot.

So not by your side and not 'under control'.

You said the path was a normal pavement, so not terribly wide.

So the dogs are likely to get within close range of each other if one is not at heel

I think that unless you've experienced how truly awful it is to actually have a reactive dog you'll never really understand and should try to have a little sympathy for the other owner.

I relate a lot to the woman in your OP.

I imagine that she thought your dog was going to attempt to socialise with her dog and that fur to the width of the path and the fact he was on the end of his lead not next to you that you wouldn't have any control and was worried that trouble might ensue so called out to you that he wasn't friendly so you could shorten his lead.

If you were 30 foot away im not surprised she shouted, I would have shouted too.
I very much doubt the intention was to upset you.

Also, 'constructive replies'
I know posters can sometimes be really quite rude and aggressive on this board, but no one has been to you on this particular thread imo.

Agree with frosted that those people with reactive dogs have a really tough time and it can be very hard to imagine what that's like unless you've had one (or known someone well that has).

It's scary, stressful, worrying, sad, and often very lonely. This article sums it up well: dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/2019/02/19/the-emotional-toll-of-reactive-dog/

It also often means all your energy is spent focussing on your dog, checking out their body language, looking for signs of tension etc. It leaves little else left for manners, unfortunately.

I take my hat off to anyone dealing with a reactive dog because most people don't. Most give up or give them up. Reactivity most commonly develops at around 18 months old which is also one of the most common age for dogs being surrendered or rehomed.

From 30' I'm not sure a whisper would have worked ;)

With a dog and walker I don't know I will always try and give them as much notice as possible and that may mean a raised voice.

From your own description, your puppy was already reacting to the other dog at a range of 30'. You've made no mention at all of whether or not you'd already started to make an appropriate reaction (shortening the lead and bringing him back close to you). Their warning sounds like it was a reaction to the the behaviour your puppy was already doing.

I know you think we're being harsh and we should cut you some slack as a new puppy owner, but we can only go by what you describe to us and interpret this based on our own experiences. Do try and think about it from the other dog walker's perspective too.

I think if you’d all heard her tone you would understand where I’m coming from.

I’m going to leave this thread here now, I’ve got the info I wanted from it.

As I said previously, this board is not for me.

And to fair, I absolutely am trying to understand it from the other walker’s perspective or I wouldn’t have bothered to come on here and ask for advice about it. I’m trying to learn and be a responsible dog owner.

Depending on the breed, a six month old may well not look like a tiny puppy from a distance. It's possible yours didn't look young, just overly keen to meet. Just a guess.

I don't think anyone needed to cross the road. In this situation, I would have put the pup on a short lead so they were close to me.

I think if you’d all heard her tone you would understand where I’m coming from

Honestly, try and put yourself in her shoes.

She almost certainly was massively stressed and terrified of the dogs fighting, terrified of you attacking her, and not attacking you or wanting to upset you in the slightest by shouting.

To give just one example of when my dog was at her worst (she's never actually bitten, doesn't approach dogs and has good recall hence being off lead before anyone says anything) two perfectly friendly looking dogs approached my dog once, she was in a field and they appeared out of nowhere.

To the bystander my dog probably looked absolutely fine but I could see from her tail position she was overwhelmed and almost certainly going to react aggressively towards them and bellowed at the top of my lungs GET THEM AWAY FROM HER to their shocked and bemused owner.

She was very sarcastic, 'alright alright calm down ' or words to that affect.

Then I went home and cried. A lot.

I wasn't attacking the woman or trying to be rude or nasty, all I was thinking was my dog is surrounded by these dogs, she's going to explode, I need to get her away.

What if there's a bad fight?
What if she is injured?
What if she injures these dogs? What if their owner attacks me?

Then theres the humiliation on top of what I must have looked like screaming, the isolation, the loneliness, the nasty comments.

You honestly have no idea how shit it is to have a reactive dog.

Cut the woman some slack and in future, when walking on paths try to keep your dog on a short lead roughly at heel

As the owner of a dog who is not dog friendly, I always move away from the situation. Even if the other dog is doing the most perfect heel or sit.
My dog is the one that is going to react, so I remove us from the situation. It's part of having a reactive dog.

Same here. My dog is gradually improving - I've had her some months now - but can't cope with another dog face to face, so I would have crossed the road to keep her calm.

My older dog is a prat on lead - barks, thinks about lunging. I consider it my job to keep him out of trouble, not anyone else's. I'd only shout at someone if their dog was off-lead and barrelling up to him.

It is stressful having a dog like that (though he has got better) but that's no excuse to be rude to other dog-walkers. Unless, that is, they are being idiots and letting their dogs run riot.