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The doghouse

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Original poster

Dog being PTS and it’s torture

68 replies

Originalusernameunavailable · 02/02/2020 10:51

I’ll try and keep this brief.
My dog is being put to sleep next weekend and it’s literally the worse torture I’ve ever experienced knowing that it’s going to happen.
He is nearly 10 and has been struggling for some time with faecial incontinence. We’ve persevered with this for around a year since original vet diagnosed a genetic condition in pugs which means, in short, his spinal column is weak and the back end of his body is starting to shut down.
Recently he’s been getting worse incontinence wise, every day he poos in the house and he’s most recently been just doing it in his sleep and laying in it.
I got a second opinion on Friday from another vet and his prognosis was the same. He said that his condition will deteriorate rapidly, as the increased incontinence has shown. He said we need to PTS within the next few weeks at most if we don’t want him to become completely paralysed and he’s confident that he’s already in some pain which again will only increase.

I am an entire wreck. I can’t stop crying and I actually feel depressed for the first time in my life.

The guilt I feel about having him PTS is killing me inside.

I think it’s getting to me that he can actually be quite spritely. When we get his harness and lead out he’s straight there, practically running. But then within a short time he’s stopped or slowed down in a way that makes me think he physically can’t make it.

He staggers when he walks and the vet said he’s lost nearly all muscle capacity in his back legs.

I don’t know exactly what my question is, I just need some reassurance that I’m not being a murderer because that’s how I feel.

OP posts:
Dora26 · 02/02/2020 16:41

It’s the one hard thing they ask of us - not to let them suffer. I’ve been there several times OP and you are so doing the right thing - the only thing - for your fur baby ((hugs))

countrygirl99 · 02/02/2020 16:50

You are doing the kindest thing you can, but of course it hurts you. If it didn't you wouldn't be a fit person to have a dog. Be kind to yourself too.

Original poster
Originalusernameunavailable · 02/02/2020 19:01

Thank you x

He’s has a silly amount of cheese savouries this afternoon. I just think from the front he looks so healthy, his coat is immaculate and shiny. It’s only when he stands up you know tthere’s anything wrongZ

My husband said he’s been curled up ne’er the radiator all afternoon and he’s had a habit say the last 4 months of wanting to huddle in small spaces like under tables, behind plant Pots etc which I think deep down I know is a sign of pain indirectly...

OP posts:
mumofthree321 · 02/02/2020 21:37

Making the decision to PTS goes against our human instinct and is such an awful decision to have to make. But you are releasing him from his pain and suffering. Take comfort in the fact he won't know what is about to happen but will drift off quietly. A thought would be to take a lock of his hair so you have a lasting memory of him - you could put it in a small locket so a part of him is always with you. Anticipatory grief is incredibly hard when you know they won't be with you - I really feel for you. He's an incredible lucky dog to have spent 10yrs with a family who clearly adore him and I'm sure he's brought you so much joy and comfort through the ups and downs of life. Treasure your last few days and remember to ask friends and family for help. You're doing the best thing for him but I know this must be so hard for you. Take care of yourself x

Ylvamoon · 02/02/2020 21:44

Flowers it's a difficult time. Branleuse is right, giving him the gift of peace and ending his suffering is the kindest and the most caring thing you can do.

EmptyFieldOfFucks · 02/02/2020 21:53

Tuesday before last, my elderly little man was pts.

You have my every sympathy.

No one worth their salt will think you murdered him or chose to do this because of your kids.

Its a kindness and you are going to feel bereft, home will feel weird, you will notice he is gone.

But nearly two weeks on I am learning to move on and I know one day we will be able to take on another.

Things which have helped were cutting some of his fur off and putting it in small scalable baggies, keeping his collars, and the vets made us a print of his paw afterwards. They made me comfortable in a chair and popped an incontinence pad and towel under him so he wouldn't have an accident on me after.

I held him the whole time, cuddling and smoothing him. If we could have afforded to we would have had him cremated separately but at least in the communal cremation he wasn't alone.

I'm so sorry. Flowers

Eckhart · 02/02/2020 22:00

I feel for you, OP. The thing is, your posts all demonstrate love for him. Very pure, longstanding, solid, unswerving love. He knows that, doesn't he. He feels it. He trusts you to do the right thing. He loves you too. He knows you will keep him safe and comfortable.

The love is the thing that will allow you to do this final favour for him. Don't let it be thing thing that stands in the way. Neither you nor he would wish to progress into a life of increasing pain and lack of physical control. You can make sure he leaves with comfort, and surrounded with love.

He's lucky to have you.

ByAppointmentTo · 02/02/2020 22:00

How old are your older children? Do you think they might want to be there when he is PTS? We had to have put six year old dog PTS in November. The vet came to the house and both children were adamant they wanted to be there whilst it happened. I think it helped them to understand that it was very gentle and peaceful and the right decision to make.

Wolfiefan · 02/02/2020 22:40

@ByAppointmentTo I wouldn’t recommend having kids there. The OP wants to focus just on her pet at that time. And you can’t absolutely guarantee a peaceful and easy PTS. (My only experience was of calm and peaceful but even then I struggled to hold it together for the sake of my pet.)

Girlintheframe · 03/02/2020 06:26

I'm so sorry.
Putting a beloved pet to sleep is so hard but I really believe it's the one last act of kindness and love we can do. That doesn't make it any easier though Thanks

Roselilly36 · 03/02/2020 06:47

It’s agony I know, we had our darling dog PTS over 10 years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday, we were absolutely devastated. Thankfully it was painless for him and he passed very quickly.

Handhold Flowers Remember you are making this decision because you love your dog. So sorry OP.

Helenj1977 · 03/02/2020 07:49

Honestly, don't wait. Its not fair on you or him. He'll be so much happier on the other side. You'll be able to start to grieve properly. It's so sad. My parents waited months to have their dog pts and it was just for their benefit. Think of him, not you. Thinking of you, it's just awful but you will get through it xxx

Bodear · 03/02/2020 07:52

OP I understand what you’re going through and it’s awful. Your dd got you through some tough times by the sounds of things and now you need to be strong for him. You’re doing the right thing x

Keepaddingpets · 03/02/2020 08:00

Please don't wait until the weekend. From the sound of it he's reached his end. Don't prolong his discomfort because it's easier for you to wait until the weekend.

He's been your bestest boy please be the bestest Mum you can be to him and let him go now.

HeronLanyon · 03/02/2020 08:06

You are doing the right thing.
It never ever feels right but your head knows it is.
Grief is truly awful. You will get through it.
The only thing that matters is you’ve given him a lovely loved fun life and he loves you right back. Nothing changes that.
Support. Tough.

Original poster
Originalusernameunavailable · 03/02/2020 11:04

Thank you again for replies.

He’s been asleep since last night, just got up to go out to the toilet and basically he’s just not quick enough. It’s like he knows he needs to go to the back door but he just physically can’t make it in time.

OP posts:
Keepaddingpets · 03/02/2020 11:18

Please take him to the vets today 🐾

Hepsibar · 03/02/2020 11:30

Well done for being brave and not letting your dog suffer because you can't bear to make the decision as so many people do. It's a shame us humans aren't allowed to do this in our country.

I think once she has gone it will in some sense be a relief for you too and you can in time remember how she was ... though there will always be moments and triggers ... but it's amazing how most of us are resilient and the sheer necessity of mundane tasks makes us carry on.

When you feel ready and it might be soon or in a year or whenever, think about another dog, maybe a rescue, there are so many out there needing a loving home.

Floralnomad · 03/02/2020 11:32

I think you need to do this sooner than the weekend , are your older dc at school so you could go during the day .

MitchellMummy · 03/02/2020 11:36

So sad for you. Been there a few times too. You are doing the right thing for him of course, though there's all sorts of emotions going on. x

Original poster
Originalusernameunavailable · 03/02/2020 11:43

My husband is calling the vets today to see if we can take him sooner than the weekend x

OP posts:
ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 03/02/2020 11:48

Please don’t feel guilty.

It’s the last kindness you show him.

Medievalist · 03/02/2020 11:51

I think that's extremely sensible op. No point in prolonging the agony.

HeronLanyon · 03/02/2020 11:52

Actually a good way of thinking is it’s the next kindness. Not the last. You’ll carry in loving him always. I love all of my late cats and remember how it felt to hug and cuddle and stroke them (except the one who HATED being touched !). Wil never stop loving my boys and remembering them with love. Tough ! Support op.

Medievalist · 03/02/2020 11:52

Not sure if it's an option for you, but vets will come out to put a pet to sleep at home.