Friend's dog really frightening me with his bossy rudeness.

[Gertrudesgarden]

and I'm a dog lover, my family have had dogs all our lives. Always rescues, always on their last chance, all mixed breeds, and all amazing, funny, affectionate and loving, once their anxiety had calmed down and they realised they were home. But this dog...it's a pure breed, an anatolian shepherd, and it is just being allowed to rule the roost. It's 18 months old and is already nearly 60kg, his head is about 11 inches across, standing his shoulder is level with my hip and I'm 5'7 and if you sit down, he immediately looms over me, and tries to climb on the furniture to domineer over me. He spent an hour yesterday being hauled off my husband as he was trying to hump him, and although the dog did eventually calm down, it was more because he was tired than anything the two owners did. One of the couple is ineffectual beyond belief and the dog often humps him (which in my mind is a domineering behaviour, disrespectful and needs sorting now) and whilst the other tries, at best his discipline is a loving sigh of "oh dog, you shouldn't do that, come on now, lie down" rather than authority speaking.

Whilst the dog isn't out of control (yet) I can see it happening and I'm not comfortable going to their house any more. I'm not happy being loomed over by a dog with a mouth large enough to engulf my head, and I'm not remotely happy with being pestered and barged about by him.

I know it's a "fault" if you like of this breed - they're working dogs who should be guarding a flock of animals, and most definitely not meant to be house pets. The dog is walked, and they do have a large garden so he's got plenty of room to roam, so those needs are provided for. Whilst he's not aggressive, he IS domineering and I'm very very uncomfortable with it. I'm just not going to their house again, am I? I've never trusted a dog less in my life.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here, maybe just expressing my anxiety about this animal as I have to hide it when I visit them as of course, dogs pick up on that. This creature is absolutely scaring me.

This is an enormous over grown puppy so it's not surprising he is making his presence felt. Sounds like the new dog owners need to rein in some of the behaviour they let him get away with before appreciating how huge he will get.
I think they need encouragement and support rather than shunning. Sounds like they are trying to be consistent and gentle. It's pretty hard work to rear a teenage giant breed. Nothing like settling a rescue dog.
Don't judge. Lend them some patience.

All the language you use adaline is language that is out dated ad incorrect when training dogs. "Strong ownership, boundaries, stubborn dogs .

We can agree to differ

I have a beagle - they're certainly incredibly stubborn and independent

I don't personally think there's anything wrong with saying owners need to be strong and firm when it comes to reinforcing boundaries for their dogs.

I mean, I'm sure we both agree that it's not okay for dogs to jump at strangers and lick/hump them like OP describes - and for big dogs especially that can potentially be very dangerous - so for me, there needs to be boundaries/limits on what kind of greeting/behaviour is acceptable for my dog.

That doesn't mean I'm remotely punitive in how I deal with it - but all owners have behaviours that they consider unacceptable (I mean, there's a reason why dogs that bite random strangers get put down) - I don't see what's wrong in saying that by teaching my dog not to mouth/bite, I'm enforcing a boundary?

I do appreciate what you're saying, Sillyscrabblegames, and perhaps more people being around him more would help with his socialisation and training. However, he constantly jumps up on me (and is removed quickly) - when he's up on his hind legs with his paws on my shoulders, his head is higher than mine and I'm buckling under his weight. I cannot push him off me. It's a shame, but he's not my responsibility to fix.

Can I just say though, that this has been an amazing discussion. It's lovely to hear how much you all adore and respect your dogs and whilst there are different training styles (as there are different dog characters), it's clear they're all deeply loved and treasured.

Creating boundaries, and knowing 'whos in charge' does not have to be created by cruel and outdated techniques.

It simply means training your dog and forming a relationship where the dog know what he is/isn't allowed to do (through consistent direction) because he listens to you (usually because he will get a reward).

That is not a breed for a first time owner. I wouldn't take it on and I've had 2 labs a German shepherd and Belgian shepherd/boxer cross. All strong, energetic breeds and it really is down to the training. I remember my uncle, who had 2 dobermanns, a border collie and a rottweiler all at the same time, walking all his lot at once and I was marveling at how good they were and he said to me training is the most important part of getting a dog. If you have a dog or pack of dogs that you cant physically overpower you better make damn sure you never have to.

Can I just say though, that this has been an amazing discussion. It's lovely to hear how much you all adore and respect your dogs and whilst there are different training styles (as there are different dog characters), it's clear they're all deeply loved and treasured

Amen to that

Thanks @lochjessmonster - I thought I was going mad for a minute!

Don't understand what's wrong with creating boundaries either.

For instance, my dog will say hello to someone who comes to the house, or outside as well, come to that, but if it looks like she's about to get up on her hind leg, I just have to say 'off' and she will come away from the person.

That's a boundary that she's learn is acceptable when greeting. Yes, you may say hello but you don't put your paws on that person's legs - she can't get higher than knees - and taught, like all her boundaries and skills with positive reinforcement and a calm gentle voice; no nastiness whatsoever involved.

I guess it is how you see your relationship with your dog. The language used eg strong leadership, strong owner and boundaries, stubborn dogs is not how I see my relationship with my dogs.

Setting boundaries does infer there is a consequence if the boundary is broken. Strong leadership does imply that there is a leader to follow. Strong owners implies you need to control your dog not work with it. Stubborn dogs imply that the dog makes a deliberate choice to do the wrong thing. I think I am turning into a pedant in 2020

My dogs are trained and have clear expectations of the correct behaviour for which they are heavily rewarded. Their choice is to offer the correct behaviour as it is rewarding not to “stay within a boundary”

I don’t think they have broken boundaries as management of most situations can prevent that from happening. Eg a young puppy that may jump up at visitors is scatter feed on the floor so that they do not have the opportunity to jump up. No boundaries just the correct behaviour.

It is reciprocal agreement we work at it together. I of course make some decisions but they are also rewarded for making the correct decisions.

However as many of you have implied that you interpretation of the vocabulary is different to mine – as long as dogs are happy stimulated and are rewarded for the correct behaviour and not considered stubborn, bad or bossy all is well in the dog world.

Interestingly Beagles are not stubborn dogs they have a high instinct which is incredibly easier to use to train them to behaviours you require. Food and toys will not get a beagle to recall but a scent trail and tracking will have them doing somersaults for you . Heel working to a scent on your hand has amazing results for Beagles.

Setting boundaries does infer there is a consequence if the boundary is broken

There are consequences for him. When he was young, if he didn't do as asked, e didn't the treat he wanted. Even now, if he doesn't sit for his dinner, he doesn't get it.

Food and toys will not get a beagle to recall but a scent trail and tracking will have them doing somersaults for you . Heel working to a scent on your hand has amazing results for Beagles.

Mine will recall 100% to food in the right environment. Put him on the beach, in the garden, the house or in an enclosed field and his recall is foolproof. Unfortunately in open spaces his instinct kicks in and he hunts. He goes deaf and no level of work from me is going to get him back until he's done chasing the scent. Nothing I can carry with me will beat the thrill of the chase. I also don't consider his stubborn nature to be a bad thing - he just knows what he wants!

I don’t think they have broken boundaries as management of most situations can prevent that from happening. Eg a young puppy that may jump up at visitors is scatter feed on the floor so that they do not have the opportunity to jump up. No boundaries just the correct behaviour.

But that is a boundary. You have decided that jumping up at visitors is unacceptable, so you scatter feed him to stop the behaviour and to reward him for remaining on the floor. So you've placed a limit on his behaviour by encouraging him to remain on the floor.

If you didn't have a boundary in place to stop him jumping, he'd jump.