Put to sleep or keep going?

[Medievalist]

I could really do with an outside perspective on this.

12 year old Labrador (13 in January) ended up in a vet hospital on Saturday after increasingly severe and prolonged bouts of extreme panting.

Advice is that this is caused by a tumour on an adrenal gland. They've started her on medication which isn't being entirely effective, but may just need more time.

Scans have also shown she has:
a small nodule on a lung
a tumour in her tummy
mast cells in lymph nodes in one leg

She also has arthritis and spine problems (though has been walking very strongly lately).

Vet says options are:

1. 2 ops and Chemo (that's a NO from us)
2. PTS
3. Manage her symptoms with medication (hopefully the medication they started her on to combat the excessive adrenaline will kick in. She can also have something that will work on the mast cells that tumours produce. She'd need her bp checked regularly at the vets).

Vet is clearly veering towards 3rd option which would give her a few more months. I'm not sure that's in her best interests. He says the tumours could be slow growing or aggressive and will find out about the one in her stomach tomorrow.

We've had her from 8 weeks. She's never been away from us except to the vet. She's quite an anxious dog and is terrified of going to the vet. It's breaking my heart to think of her scared and away from us and wondering where we are.

Needless to say I'm in bits and just not thinking straight. So any advice would be extremely welcome.

After a few long discussions this afternoon with the lovely vet at the hospital, dh and I decided on pts.

I really didn't think I could cope with seeing her again. However, when we were about to give the green light, DS2 (23) suddenly announced he had to see her. So I and 3 dcs (DH is away) made the journey to be with her while she was pts this evening. I'm so glad we did because it confirmed that it was absolutely the right decision. I couldn't have brought her home or allowed her to continue in that state. It was awful. The vet said he would have done exactly the same had she been his dog.

We're all reeling at our loss.

Thank you so much everyone for taking the trouble to offer advice and support today. I can't tell you how much it meant. X

So sorry to hear of your family's loss.
You most definately did the right thing, thats the last loving thing you can do, not let a cherished family member suffer. Remember you gave her a good life, which far too many dogs dont get.
Given time, the good memories, will overtake the trauma of letting her go.

So very sorry for your loss.
They are such an enormous and beloved part of our lives. People who don’t have dogs will never understand the bond, the way it feels to raise and care for them, the endless unconditional love and devotion and happiness they bring. They lift your spirits. They are a,ways there and your best friend,

I believe that they are always with us. Even after they are gone. Actually perhaps more than ever. I still see my first dog as a tiny twelve week old rescue pup and that would now be eighteen years ago.

But tonight and in the days to come I know you will be devastated. So sending love and please remember that you absolutely did the right thing.

I’m so sorry. Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You've done the right thing for your lovely girl

Much love to you

It's good that she had family with her at the end....she's free of suffering now

So glad you and her family were there with her. It must be so hard for them being sick and you can't explain why.
Being with her was the right decision imo.

I'm not sure it was the right thing for her tbh. She was brought into the room we were in and she was so agitated she just kept trying to get out of the door. Presumably she was trying to get us to take her home rather than escape from us.... She took no comfort from the bits of ham and stuff I'd taken her - just kept snatching them and left some on the floor. She took no comfort from our presence. The vet has said he would give us some time alone with her and come back after 15 minutes or so. She was so distressed ds3 went and got the vet to come back early as we clearly weren't helping her.

It was good from our POV because it made us certain we were doing the right thing. But I don't think we helped her at all.

It must have been difficult for you to see her so agitated. I am so sorry . Sending big hugs.

Be kind to yourself op.

That must have been very hard

Op, I'd just like to say you sound like a lovely owner. I personally think you did the best thing for your lovely girl and being there in her final moments probably did bring her some comfort.
You are grieving so it is totally normal to question whether being there was the right thing for her but do not beat yourself up. You relieved her of pain and suffering and let her go with dignity before it got too much for her. You did the best and fairest thing you could with the situation you were dealing with and I think it's good for your family to be allowed to say goodbye and see her one last time.
Take it easy, she was a big part of your life and it will hurt for a while. Thinking of you and your family

I'm so sorry to read of your experience
5 years ago we had to put our lab x to sleep. He was pacing the room and panting. The vet had to sedate him before putting to sleep completely. I was on my own and it was awful so I can understand how terrible the situation was for you.
However, last december we put our staffy x to sleep and although it was relaxed etc it was still awful.
To tell the truth nothing makes it any easier. With both of us there the second time we just sobbed in each others arms.

I think you must have been a wonderful mum to her throughout her life and again in her last days. Don't doubt your decision but do allow yourself to grieve in the next few weeks & months.

I think I let her down very badly. I should have got our local vet to put her to sleep on Saturday instead of subjecting her to 4 days in the vet hospital. And we shouldn't have gone to be with her at the end because we just added to her distress by making her think we'd come to take her home. I don't think I did right by her at all.

Give yourself a break. You did the best you could with the information you had available. Yes, you knew she didn't like being at the vets, but you were hoping that this would be the prelude to some more time at home and would therefore be worth it. You didn't know how she'd respond to your arrival. You wanted to be there for her.

I think almost every one who has a pet PTS second-guesses their decision. I still sometimes wonder if we let our old girl go too soon. It's a massive responsibility, but we don't have perfect foresight or even perfect knowledge of the present.

Hey @Medievalist

You did the best you could do In the situation you were in. It's so hard to know what the best choice is and you needed time to process your options too. If you had her PTS Saturday you may have worried you'd been too eager.

You did what any loving owner would do. Please don't beat yourself up.

Sending you all the love, it's so hard losing a beloved dog. I'm in tears reading this thread as we had to do the same not long ago with my parents 7 year old lab. Found out she had blood cancer 4 days before she went downhill rapidly she had to be PTS. It's ever so heartbreaking and it's scared me off getting my own dog for now because I can't deal with the pain of loss it causes.

It's hard. I'm sure she took comfort from you being there but was just desperate to get out of the vets. Personally I would have taken her home to see if the meds worked when she was calmer if she is that scared at the vets. Then i would have booked a vet to come to the house in a day or so if needed.

But hindsight is no help. You didnt know she was not going to respond to the meds and have a stressful last 4 days. She could have responded well and come home for a few months and you weren't wrong to give her that chance.

Whichever way it goes in these situations us pet lovers always think we should have done something differently but usually eith hindsight that we just didnt know before hand.

Shes in peace now.

Stuffedcrust - I'm absolutely certain that bringing her home would have been the wrong thing to do.

So sorry for you loss

Please be kind to yourself. You did what you thought was best for your dog at the time, with what information you had. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
You and your family gave your dog a lovely home for her whole life and that’s what you need to remember and comfort in.

My ddog died in March this year unexpectedly and if I’d of known the day before that he was going to die in the morning I’d of had him pts the night before to make it easier for him.

Of course you are going to be doubting yourself and your decisions. BUT you did the best you could at the time with the information you had.

So sorry for your loss OP. Hope the many memories of good times help 💐💐

Sorry for your loss. Your dog had a lovely life and is at peace now. Be kind to yourself xx