Have you got a rescue dog? Especially a greyhound, lurcher or whippet? Advice please....

[copperstrike76]

I'm hoping for some advice on my situation, so apologies if this turns out to be a bit long.

I desperately want a dog. I grew up with one, a lurcher. We got him from the RSPCA when he was about 12 weeks old. I was 7 and we had him until I was 20. I always imagined that one day, I would get another.

I spent the decade from 20 to 30 mostly single and not in a position to get a dog. Then I met my husband when I was 28 and we spent a lot of time enjoying ourselves, travelling, not having any responsibilities. Then, when we had settled down, we spent a couple of years doing IVF and now we have a daughter, who is nearly 7. Sorry for all this detail, but I hope it's useful background.

I have always loved dogs, and especially sighthounds. But because I was busy with all those other things, I guess I wasn't yearning for one as much as I am now. My sister got a puppy 2 years ago and that really intensified my yearning - I miss my dog such a lot and would be desperately sad if he turned out to be my only ever dog. My sister's dog is nice, but he is quite intense. He is not a sighthound and he has a totally different character to my old dog, who I think about a lot. Quite often, I dream about him. Or I dream that I have another dog. Then when I wake up, I'm so disappointed!

I work from home part-time right now and last year we got a secure, 6-foot high fence for our large garden. We live in a detached house, and have a mortgage, so don't need to ask anyone permission to have a dog. DD is used to a bouncy dog (my sister's) and we have been on holiday with him, spent Christmases with him and so on, so I think she would do well around a dog. She knows what to do and what not to do.

The thing is, my husband doesn't love dogs. He did not grow up with any pets. He will tolerate my sister's dog but I don't think he is over-keen...he is a labradoodle, very bouncy, hairy, a bit smelly and very in your face. You know he is there!

I have tried to tell him greyhounds are totally different but I am not sure if this dog (lovely as he is) is the best PR!

Anyway, we both agreed that for various reasons now might be a good time to get a family pet. We both agree it would be good for our daughter, who has some anxiety and self-confidence issues at the moment. She is also desperate for a pet.

Not wanting to push the dog angle, I looked at rats, because I understand them to be quite affectionate (I'm not interested in other rodents: I had a hamster as a child and it didn't really like me and was a pain in the backside). I want a pet that will give some love back. I know that rats do this.

DH was up for getting rats but then I learnt about hantavirus and their very short lifespan - a breeder suggested I should get 3 rats and put aside £150 for vets' bills for each of them. It's rare to have a rat that makes it to 3 years old so it seems like a lot of emotional and financial investment in something that will be so short-lived. You have to play with rats for an hour outside their cage each day as well, which I'm fine with, but I would not want to take that job on without DH also being hands-on. I think he might have imagined that rats would be an "easy" option compared to dogs.

DH was also up for getting a cat, but we didn't want to put a cat flap in the front door and putting one in the back door (French patio doors) would be costly because we would have to replace a pane of glass, I think. We were also not too sure about litter trays (I will be honest and say I don't really want one in the house!). Cats aren't my favourites, but I don't dislike them, and I sort of figured that any pet is better than none at all (is that wrong?).

When DD was 5, we had a chat about dogs and DH said he would "think about" getting a dog when our DD was 6 and a bit more grown-up. He even came to an open day at a greyhound rescue that I used to volunteer with, and conceded that they hounds were "very calm", and that a blue one we saw at the kennels "looked okay".

But the age of 6 came and went and he basically just said "I've thought about it and I don't want to". Which I guess is fair enough and I would never force the issue (which is why I've considered rats and cats), but I felt as though he'd led me on a bit.

He has since said it is "unlikely" he would ever want a dog but that "the door is not closed".

But I said to DH at the weekend I really wanted to have a proper chat about pets. DD is an only child, not through choice, and I feel like she would get so much out of it. I went through the pros and cons of rats and cats and explained why I wanted him to consider dogs and he did not disagree. I'm not sure either of us want a cat flap, really, and I am not sure how cats 'work' without one. Also, I'm hugely nervous about getting a cat because it would seriously restrict the type of dog we could potentially have. Anyway, I said to him I wanted to talk about rats, cats and dogs and he said okay.

Then he said that if we did get a dog, he might be hands-off with it. I'm fine with this (but would not accept it for any other pet) and I think maybe he would grow to love a dog anyway, if we got the right one. Every time I think about dogs I get quite emotional so it is a highly-charged topic for me, and basically I'm looking for advice on how to handle the chat?

Sorry this is so long. If having a dog was something he really, really didn't want to do then that would be that - we wouldn't do it. It would make me really sad but at the end of the day I wouldn't force it on anyone as that's not fair on DH or on the dog. But at the same time I feel like he's given vague hints and just maybe hasn't felt ready in the past, or if this isn't the case then he has led me on and should have said no, not ever!

I would love to hear your thoughts. I think DH would prefer a small dog and I know greyhounds can be pretty big so I am not sure how I would handle that one. I volunteered at a greyhound rescue, walking the dogs, so I'm used to them. I like whippets too but hardly ever seem them at rescue centres. And I have always liked lurchers but of course they come in all different shapes and sizes.

I love that you are all saying that DH could be won over by the right dog (I think so too) or that you yourselves have been won over.

@frostedviolets interesting to hear that you regret getting a cat. I don't dislike them as such but feel it would be a massive step for me and might get in the way of getting a dog one day. I think I would probably always see a cat as a sort of consolation prize if we never got a dog (apologies to all cat lovers!). Know what you mean about labradoodles...my sister's dog is very affectionate, and I do like him (as does DD), but he is quite in your face and that's why DH is not keen!

I don’t recognise my dog at all from your description @frostedviolets but equally I’m quite sure I’ve preconceptions about other breeds myself so ..

Yes probably.
Everyone likes different things and we all judge based on what we've seen, heard, experienced etc.

I'm not for one minute saying ALL poodle mixes are unstable, just that the majority of ones I have personally seen out and about have been and I am therefore wary.

I'm quite sure your dog is lovely

interesting to hear that you regret getting a cat. I don't dislike them as such but feel it would be a massive step for me and might get in the way of getting a dog one day

I don't dislike cats either but I definately regret it.
Both me and DH grew up with cats, DH in fact has always considered himself a cat person and never really liked dogs.

We got the dog first because I really wanted one but DH always hankered after a cat.

She is exceedingly cute and she does have a lovely, soft, tolerant temperament but I wouldn't get another cat if you paid me a billion pounds.

DH is now firmly a dog person and excited about getting our second soon.
He also regrets the cat and is adamant he would never have another.

Far from an 'easy' pet she has clawed the back door beyond belief, destroyed the bottom step, scratched our glass hob, peed on all our rugs, shredded a few houseplants, clawed our bookcase, scratched our sofa, scratched our bed...

We have tried feeding her more (sometimes scratches as attention seeking before dinner), buying loads of scratching posts, giving her more attention, playing with her more.

She isn't stressed, least she doesn't appear to be, she seems happy just destructive.

She'll counter surf aswell and steal food from plates.

Yes the dog has occasionally done naughty things like go to chew something not allowed or steal a crisp from DHs hand but the difference is you tell her off and she has the decency to look ashamed and not do it again.
The cat doesn't give a shit for pleasing you.

There are definitely greyhounds I work with that I could reccomend, you could definitely find a sighthound of sorts that would work well, an older greyhound would be better as they have bound of energy when they're young. So long as the dog has enough exercise they will not cause an issue and can certainly be very lovely. The whole family grows to love these beautiful hounds always

I couldn’t read your whole message but I got to the bottom where you mentioned lurchers come in all shapes and sizes... but the whole point is that size and shape don’t matter, it’s the cross of the breeds that produces a certain type of lurcher.
I’ve had 5, all rescue, but 2 of those were aggressive towards other dogs, whereas the other 3 were perfect, BUT all of them chased and had no recall, disappearing for hours. So my question is, do you want a dog who disappears and cannot be off lead, even though they are perfect indoors? Please bear that in mind.

@Jayne52red I’ve had 5, all rescue, but 2 of those were aggressive towards other dogs, whereas the other 3 were perfect, BUT all of them chased and had no recall, disappearing for hours. So my question is, do you want a dog who disappears and cannot be off lead, even though they are perfect indoors? Please bear that in mind.

Thank you, good point, but yes, our dog was a lot like that and would bolt out of the door at the slightest opportunity, and wouldn't come back until he was ready, even though he was otherwise quite well behaved. So that is definitely something I would be aware of. There is a large secure field in the rescue centre near us that you can use for a donation, though.

My 2 have great recall and 1 was a working ddog previously...
Not that you would believe ddog on the right used to live in a shed outside in her past life...

I'd love a whippet rescue but never see them come up. If you're in Surrey does Battersea Windsor cover that area. I would rehome a greyhound but worry it might pull me over. Are they strong dogs?

We had a rescue greyhound. He was wonderful - slept a lot, hated long walks and was so so friendly. Cost a bit in vet bills for teeth and legs in later life but he was a lovely, lovely dog.
If he is going to get on board with any dog, a greyhound would be a good choice.

@Winterdaysarehere they are so gorgeous! I love their faces, elegant creatures.

@HappyHammy Battersea seem to be quite funny about children. I have looked at greyhounds on their website and they often say "I can live with teenagers" or "I can live with older children". But the difference between an older child and a teenager is really not clear. It's annoying because there was a programme on the TV the other night about how many greyhounds Battersea specifically have in rescue and that lots of people don't seem to want them. I definitely would (if I could get DH on board) but I have no idea if they would rehome to us. There are other local rescues that definitely would (I've asked them). I agree with you about whippets...I hardly ever see them come up as rescue dogs. I used to volunteer at a greyhound shelter and whippets came up once when I was there, but that was a special case - they were well looked after dogs whose owner had died. They did not stick around long - I guess they must be very popular. And yet there were some dogs that seemed to hang around for ages because people didn't seem to want them, especially black greyhounds.

Strength - I am sure actual greyhound owners with more experience than me could give you a better idea but the ones I looked after varied a lot. They are strong - some walked beautifully on the lead. Others pulled quite hard, especially if they thought they saw something interesting. When they run they can be powerful - our dog, who was a lurcher rather than a greyhound (but did look more like a greyhound than any other breed), accidentally knocked over a boy once, giving him concussion, just because he wanted to run and the boy was in his way. There was no malice - I don't think he even registered that the boy was there.

My greyhound is very gentle, she walks beautifully on the lead and is very polite and delicate. She is good with my kids, but isn’t very keen on the little one as she prefers quiet stroking to boisterous play. She’s a pleasure to have in the house and is practically perfect in every way :) also, well behaved with my grumpy, vicious old cat.

We had a rescue greyhound when I was a child. They are an absolutely beautiful breed of dog. She rarely barked, she never jumped up and slobbered, just sat there looking majestic on a velvet chair. And she could run like a rocket. Dunno about getting a dog if one of you doesn’t want pets. That could go very pear shaped

I've got a whippet x Belgian Mali . My daughter rescued her out of a cellar. We had no intention of getting a dog and Mumsnetters talked me through what I needed. She is a lovely dog but hell, no training, bad behaviour and trashed my house. I totally blame her old owner. She's been with us since new yrs day and I've put lots of hard work in to get her to where she is now. We both work full time, she goes to work with my partner. He didn't want a dog. Strange to listen to him now. She gets more affection of him than I do! She had her walk today and is now fast asleep on her kingsize dog bed, probably under the duvet 🙄