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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

When do the health benefits of owning a dog kick in cause right now I feel like I’m heading for a breakdown!

69 replies

Spotty528 · 20/11/2019 16:29

Week 1 of puppyhood and my blood pressure’s through the roof I’m sure! I can’t imagine the house ever being calm again. Can anyone share stories of how hard it is at the start compared to how wonderful it becomes...please!

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BiteyShark · 20/11/2019 18:44

I feel awful but I don’t feel like I don’t even like him let alone love him.

It took many weeks for me to like BiteyDog but one day you realise how they slowly worm their way into your heart and your life and home are empty without them. I love BiteyDog so much now that we have shortened our non dog holidays as we can't stand being away from him.

It feels a bit taboo as everyone loves puppies that aren't theirs and lots of people will tell you how easy theirs were but sometimes it takes time.

Spotty528 · 20/11/2019 20:10

Thanks everyone, I had a really good hour with him after my last post so I’m feeling lighter and I’ve been emailing the lady about his training classes too.

He’s a cross breed, bit of terrier/spaniel mix. Mum and dad both family pets with lovely temperaments. He was the runt of the litter, the calmest of them all so I wonder what his siblings are up to!

When do the health benefits of owning a dog kick in cause right now I feel like I’m heading for a breakdown!
When do the health benefits of owning a dog kick in cause right now I feel like I’m heading for a breakdown!
When do the health benefits of owning a dog kick in cause right now I feel like I’m heading for a breakdown!
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SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 20/11/2019 20:14

Honestly, I completely underestimated quite how stressful having a puppy was. Totally disrupted the house and my sleep. It was relentless! 2 years down the line I can honestly say everything has calmed down and I am happy every single day when I see his little tail wag. You will be fine and I promise this will pass, it’s just no one tells you how hard it will be.

igglepigglesbestie · 20/11/2019 20:15

He is gorgeous.
I hated our dog when she was a puppy! She was a pain in the bum! It will pass I promise!
I love her to bits now.

Spotty528 · 20/11/2019 20:23

Thankyou, these replies have been so helpful. It’s funny but I’m not one for babies either, once they get to 2/3 and they’re walking/talking and really engaging that’s the stage I love.

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loveliesbleeding1 · 20/11/2019 20:59

He’s gorgeous! But puppyhood is so,so hard.we are at 18 weeks now and things are getting much easier especially as we can get out over the fields and have a good run around. I didn’t love or like her much in the beginning because she was such a hard biter she used to rip my clothes! I love her to bits now.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 20/11/2019 21:11

I couldn’t stand my puppy for the first few weeks, in fact one morning after he’d wee’d all over the kids school clothes I lost the plot and messaged someone to take him. I did calm down and message them later on to ignore it.

My last dog was pts at 11 and was so calm and independent and easy even as a puppy so I think I was a bit too cocky about getting a new one. But this pup is the absolute opposite. He’s neurotic, barky, wakes us up during the night and still wee’s in the house 🤦🏼‍♀️ at just turned one.

But I really love him now, I love walking him and seeing him run. He puts his paws on my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug, he sits looking at me with love hearts in his eyes and generally follows me around the house.

I’m just hoping by the time he’s 2 he’ll be slightly calmer!

namechanged984630 · 20/11/2019 21:24

I felt EXACTLY as you did through September and October. My puppy chilled out in November and it's like all the things I was resenting have given way and let me see that I really love her!

MarshallPNutt · 20/11/2019 22:25

When training they are learning even when it doesn't look like it. Keep calm and keep repeating and one day it just clicks for them.

Don't think that spending time getting the very basics right is a waste. Eg if he just grabs for treats then make the sole aim of the session that he learns not to.

Put a treat on the floor near him with your hand over it. You only lift your hand once he is sitting nicely. No need for any words, just let him figure it out. He will do so and then slowly start to lift your hand a little, putting it back over the treat if he moves to take it. Add a release word.

If you just spent time doing that you would build a rick solid behaviour around treats that will make all other training easier.

Oh, and it does get better. By the time he is two years old he will have picked up on all your habits etc and started to slot properly into your life.

There is no relationship to be had with a puppy - he is just a baby, what you do now is an investment in a FUTURE friendship Smile

Spotty528 · 21/11/2019 05:54

Thankyou all for such supportive replies. I’ll do that treat training today. I had my first good nights sleep last night! He’s actually been sleeping well it’s just me who’s been lying awake anxious with a million worries running through my mind.

He didn’t cry again last night, slept from 8-5.30 when DH woke him so I really shouldn’t be complaining.

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MurrayTheMonk · 21/11/2019 06:21

Our dog 1 was fairly easy and when we got him I fully worked from home and so it was easy to be with him when he was tiny. As such it was a breeze.

On that basis we got Dog 2. Dog 2 was a nightmare as a puppy. And then a change in circumstances meant I had to be out of the house a little bit more (though still home based). The whole thing was incredibly stressful. Worse probably than the logistics of having small kids and working (and the dog was harder to manage behaviourally than the small kids). It's only now she's 2.5 and calmed down slightly and that we have established a routine that I can finally say that I love her-before that she was a lot of hard work for not much back tbh. She had me in tears several times as a puppy.

Stuck with it-it will all come right.

MurrayTheMonk · 21/11/2019 06:28

TheDogsMother....I am crying at 'had a punch up with a badger'. Both mine are Jack Russell's and we had to buy an entrenching tool for Dog 2 after the third time we spent two hours digging her out of a hole. (Whilst crying hysterically and picturing her torn to bits by a Badger or Captain Woundwort). We have to be very careful with her in areas where there are any holes at all now and most of the time she is stuck on the long line as we can't risk it. (Dog 1 has never so much as looked at a rabbit hole so that one caught me by surprise too 🙄).

MrsAgassi · 21/11/2019 12:51

He’s adorable, that little face!

Spotty528 · 21/11/2019 13:29

Ok I did the treat training. Hid it under my hand and he went bonkers scratching for it so i put the oven glove on for protection and persevered after a few minutes of digging at me he stopped and I quickly clicked, lifted my hand said go. We repeated it for a while and he really started to get it! Proud moment.

I think a lot of this is getting to know them and their behaviour. He was frantically biting (it’s not actually biting is it but I’m saying that) when he was sitting on my knee, he’d had an hour of mooching/playing by this point so I gave him a stern ‘no!’ He promptly stopped, huffed and fell asleep!

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TheDogsMother · 21/11/2019 16:42

@MurrayTheMonk Wow I wish I had known about entrenching tools years ago. The times I have been beside myself trying to coax him out of a hole. He's a Parsons Jack Russell so quite tall so it was a real worry he'd get stuck (and he did once). When they are down a hole and in the zone there is no getting their attention. JRs are little buggers.

StarJumpAlertTakeCover · 21/11/2019 18:27

DPup is 13 weeks old.
I’m exhausted.
I’m having a gin.
What makes it harder is our beloved nearly 2 year old goldie died on the operating table having routine surgery just a fortnight ago. I’m so devastated.
We got this puppy really ( her niece) so they would play and grow old together
For 4 weeks they played constantly, until we lost Flo.
It’s so hard!

Spotty528 · 21/11/2019 19:42

I’m so sorry to hear that, I can’t imagine dealing with that sudden loss and a puppy all at once, I bet the puppy’s missing their play mate too. Lots of love.

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LochJessMonster · 22/11/2019 12:08

I don’t feel like I don’t even like him let alone love him. HA this 100% sums up owning a puppy!

Definitely loved my boy more as he got older.

MarshallPNutt · 22/11/2019 12:58

Good thinking about the oven glove!

He's so young that you're only seeing the juvenile parts of his personality. Over time you'll see the rest emerge - including his affection for you, which can sometimes take until they are adult to really be shown. I predict you'll be head over heels for him in another couple of years.

For now it's all patience and Gin.

MarshallPNutt · 22/11/2019 13:01

p.s when little mine would constantly aim for the pot of treats I was using and I just couldn't imagine him ever having the calm self control not to.

Now I could leave that pot on the floor and walk out the room and he wouldn't help himself. He only eats the treats he's specifically given.

Unless it's a roast chicken on the kitchen side.

Then it's anyone's guess what he'll do Grin

Spotty528 · 22/11/2019 13:49

Marshall-can you suggest anymore simple training I can do with him please? I keep reading and watching YouTube videos but there’s just so much information I feel overwhelmed by it.

So far I’m doing (with very very limited success)

-sit
-paw
-wait (literally I count for 1 second)
-sit everytime we go through the backdoor and then I go first, again very limited success)
-sit before his meal
-the treat under the oven glove
-his harness has arrived today so I’ll attempt to put that on later with his lead attached

He’s come in from the garden this morning absolutely stinking of shit, I don’t know who’s shit but he’s had a right good rummage in it. He was far too over excited to bath so I’m letting him sleep on my knee on a towel. ‘Tis grim!

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LochJessMonster · 22/11/2019 14:24

'Spin' - use you hand to turn him around in a spin motion
''Touch' put your hand in a fist and get him to bump it with his nose. I use it as a recall with my dog.

Teaching 'drop' is a good command too.

To bath, smear peanut butter on the wall so he stands there and licks it off whilst you bath him.

MarshallPNutt · 22/11/2019 15:36

I would honestly not worry about adding more and more different types of training and just focus on core, foundation things right now.

Impulse control around food (as you are doing) is one.

To be able to take valuable things back off the dog is also important. Do this by swapping them for something else even better. e.g. play with one toy for a bit then hold a bit of suasage near the dog's nose and when he drops the treat for the sausage, praise him and give him the food, then give him back the toy. Over time you can add a cue word (e.g. "thank you" or "drop") to the action. This way he learns that giving up toys is always rewarding. Do the same for chews and bones but only if he seems chilled about it.

Look at me is also great and easy. Sit or stand quietly near thre dog with some treats. Every single time he makes purposeful eye contact with you, say "good" and give him a treat. Over time this builds up a great association between good things and keeping his focus on you.

With the harness, GO SLOW. Many dogs don't mind it but some an be permanently freaked by it. Far better to have a few sessions building up to it. e.g. puppy sniffs harness, you say "good" and give him a treat. Repeat until he looks exited to see the harness. Then maybe progress to bringing it up to his head but no more. Then to slipping it over his head. Then to clipping it up. Then to having a lead attached. It's worth going slow for a lifetime of him loving his harness.

Wait is also a great one. Don't feel bad you've only got 1 second of wait right now . That's entirely fine. Just build it up over several weeks.

Reinforcing being in a bed or on a mat is also useful. Mats especially because you an take them anywhere and have somewhere the dog is happy to settle. Whenever you spot the dog in his bed/on his mat, praise and treat.

Strengthening a rock solid sit is useful. Over time build up to being alble to walk around the dog while he sits, then being able to walk off and return. Once you have this, you will find it easier to apply to different situations like through doors etc.

Working on recall in the house is also great. Have someone gently restrain the dog while you walk away, perhaps to the next room. all him and they release him. When he gets to you be ready to reward with play or treats Do this all over the house and garden and you will have made a great start to outdoor reall.

This stuff takes time. It's frustrating because we humans think we need to see significant progress every training session. But we won't. It's not like that and, in fact, the best learning happens between sessions while the dog's asleep as that's when his long term memories are organised. If you have got all the above by six months old then you're doing well Grin.

kikopup on YouTube is brilliant, btw.

MarshallPNutt · 22/11/2019 15:38
MarshallPNutt · 22/11/2019 15:42

all him and they release him = call him and they release him