What’s normal?

[Daffodil101]

I have a 15 week old cockerpoo, we’ve had him for four weeks and in general he’s very good. He’s had about four wee accidents in the house but mainly goes outside when we take him.

After a difficult start, he sleeps in the crate from 11.30pm until about 6.30am without any problem. He goes into the crate if we have to go out but we leave him a filled kong. So he’s generally making good progress.

The problem is his barking when he knows we are in the house. So for example yesterday I went out for a run. I’ve been doing this for years and I usually come in needing a drink and a shower. Yesterday I tried to sneak into the house and sneak upstairs (forgoing the drink) but he heard the key in the door ( through two closed doors) and started barking. It was then impossible to ignore his shrieking and I couldn’t go for a shower.

He is the same when we go out of the room and have to leave him in his playpen for safety reasons. For example if I’m hoovering or I need the loo.

I’m finding this really, really anxiety provoking. It’s hard to even go to the toilet after about 5am because he hears that we are awake and starts frantically barking. I’m not prepared to let him sleep upstairs and my husband won’t allow him upstairs (I agree), so allowing him to follow me around the house isn’t an option.

I’d like to get an idea of whether this is a ‘normal’ degree of separation anxiety for his age and breed or whether it seems excessive. Did you puppy behave like this? How long did it go on for?

I’m not getting much sleep because I’ll wake up around 5am anxious that somebody will use the toilet and he’ll start barking. I sleep directly above him so I hear his barking more than anyone else.

If he hears someone is up I am not surprised he is trying to get your attention and at that age I would be concerned he needed to pee after sleeping. Maybe do the 'take him out for a pee' if he gets up but don't speak to him or fuss him then straight back to his crate until you get up later. You could simply ignore his barking but at that age I would be concerned about needing to toilet if awake and moving so I did the take out and straight back again.

As for sneaking in after a run then there is no way my adult dog would let me sneak in. They have bloody good hearing so a couple of doors isn't going to make any difference as mine hears my DH car pull in to the top of the road (several houses away) over tv noise etc. Lots of people would do different things but for me I would have gone into the room and done others thing whilst ignored his barking but when quiet I would have praised him so as not to reward the actual barking.

Thanks for replying. I can see that going in and doing other things would work, but there’s no break in the barking, so no opportunity to reward ‘not barking’

To be honest, I feel sorry for the pup in the shower instance- he has just been left by himself and been good, then hears someone in the house and maybe doesn’t know if it’s you or an intruder- and if it’s you, why you aren’t coming to let him out his crate. Could you not get puppy, get a drink and have puppy in bathroom with you while you shower/go to the loo? I am a big softie though.

We rewarded our boy and said good shushing when he didn’t bark at usual triggers, and can use it as a command/warning to not bark. He will get used to vacuuming though.

I agree with Bitey about early morning barking.

Have you done the 'little and often' type of leaving him? By that I mean use a baby gate and keeping entering and exiting the room. Gradually building up the time and distance away from him?

I find my dog hates the door being closed but will tolerate me being in a different part of the house when he is behind a baby gate even if he can't see me.

Also time the barking on your phone. For example if he is barking in the crate and doesn't need to pee/poo and you are doing things in the same room by timing it you can see how long he does it. What seems like a life time can often only be 5-10 mins and then once quiet you reward him. This can help with seeing improvements etc.

If he’s barking so much, does that mean he’s being left alone in his pen/downstairs a lot? Maybe you need to either adjust to not being upstairs so much or soften your rule a bit about upstairs (missed that earlier). He’s still very little and if he does well when you’re out of the house, that’s great. I’d be focusing on making sure he is settled while you are at home as it sounds like he maybe needs a bit more contact when you’re at home?

He’s a baby of course he wants attention when he knows someone’s there. He will probably be desperate for a wee early in the morning and when you return to the house after a run he will be wondering who is there.

He’s a baby and he needs a bit of attention that’s all.

Thanks for your replies. There are four of us in the house and his pen and crate are in the kitchen/family room. We don’t spend any time upstairs at all during the day, with the exception of needing a shower after a run. I’m out for an hour running, so he isn’t left alone for long periods.

I’ve tried entering and exiting the room - tried from day one, some slight improvements but even if I go into the utility room for two seconds he starts whining.

In general, he spends his days either with somebody in the room, or in the crate because we are out. The longest he’s ever been left is three hours while I work two days a week. Two different dog walkers come. I do some work from home, too.

When I’ve pretended to leave (sat quietly in the study) he protests for five minutes then settles in the crate. I can work quietly in the study provided I don’t move. This is quite restrictive - I’ve tried having him in the study with me but I can’t get any work done because he chews books/cables under the desk.

I will try to time the barking (if I don’t go crazy!) and see if it lets up so that I can reward him for being quiet. The funny thing is, he’s quiet most of the time with us. We are a quiet family and when I took him to puppy school, he was by far the calmest dog.

It's hard because you need to meet his needs as he is still very young but not reward barking.

It's very easy to reward the wrong behaviour so do ensure that you reward him for just being quiet and settled. I still give my dog treats when he is curled up on the sofa if I am up and down doing things in the house as that's the behaviour I want.

That’s a good point, we don’t give treats except when training

It sounds very normal to be me I'm afraid - mine wouldn't settle on his own while I went for a shower until he was about nine months old I'm sorry to say!

I think you may need to alter your routines a bit while he's so young. Having a young puppy often means being up at 5/6am to let them out to the toilet - if you wake him, take him out to the toilet and then back in the crate until you're ready to get up. However I think someone does need to get up with him every morning and be with him - he's tiny still.

When you get back from running, you need to go and see the pup. He hears someone come in, doesn't know who it is, and then he gets ignored - go and fuss the dog first and give him a treat and then go and shower once he's been comforted.

See, I can cope if I know it’s temporary. Even until he’s a year old. But our friends had to rehome a dog for SA so I’m worrying whether he’s the same

Reading up on this in the past seperation anxiety is fortunately not that common and if yours is only barking for attention it doesn't sound like anything other than normal velcro puppy behaviour.

Thank you

It doesn't like separation anxiety to me.

I think you just have a young dog who doesn't want to be alone when he knows his "family" are around in the house.

Like I said mine took ages to settle but now he's fine and will curl up on the sofa while we do things in other rooms. Just go at your puppies pace and don't push things too soon - he will settle eventually, it just takes time :)

Thank you again

Just to say I worked part time from home when ours was small- I took over the kitchen table to work from during the day, as it seemed easier and more relaxing than trying to hide in the study. Obviously I don’t know your house or job but maybe that’s an option, at least some of the time you’re working? Mine was happier in his pen when he could see me, it preempted barking/accidents/destructive behaviour.
I agree with Adaline that it doesn’t sound like separation anxiety.

I work at a pc in the study writing up very lengthy reports, I might be able to borrow my husband’s laptop.

He sounds like a normal young puppy... you are his entire world and he wants to be with you all the time! That's not SA, it's a 4 month old baby :)
Mine's 6 months now and is JUST getting to the stage where I can have a shower in peace! She's also a downstairs dog (because the cat is upstairs) and sleeps happily downstairs but the second she hears anyone up..that's it, she needs someone down with her (and often doesn't even need a wee).

I think the most I have ever left her was 20 mins when I had forgotten to pick my son up from his drama club..oops, and we arrange life around her for now.. but in the last month her confidence has grown so she no longer follows me around everywhere...she will slope back off to a sofa :)
I think the easiest route (and least likely to lead to SA) is to BE with him until he is ready not to be.

Would there be room for a crate/playpen or barrier to keep pup safe in a corner of the study alternatively?

He is a baby. You shut him in a crate for 7 hours a night and then do it in the day also and then when you come in you try to avoid him?

I got my dogs for all of the love and companionship they give me. What did you get yours for?

My dog is 3 years old and is absolutely fine about being left when we go out - he watches us leave then curls up and goes to sleep.

But no way would he sit quietly if he knew we were in the house but had left him shut away somewhere. Particularly if your dog is shut in a room and can't actually see that it's you come back and gone in the shower.

Also a young dog would need letting out to toilet.

I keep a stash of dog treats in the car (chewy dental sticks). When I come in and he is all excited jumping around I get him to sit and wait for the treat, then he runs off to eat it and stops being so excited at my return so I get chance to sort myself out in peace.

Goodness Koshkat that’s quite an angry response. You do realise that people get dogs and still go to work? The works is full of them. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to need to shower alone.

And locked away for seven hours is actually safely and happily asleep. I lock my front door at night, too - would you say that was me caging my poor children? 🙄

Not quite the same but I agree that I was a bit grumpy. Just hate cages.

Sorry if I pissed anyone off.