How precious are you as a dog owner?

[MarcoPoloCX]

How precious are you as a dog owner?
You get some dog owners who think of their dogs as their babies. They're very precious and overly protective of them and get really emotional over a little "dog squabble"
Dogs will be dogs.

They don't always get on with very dog they see. And you don't always know what exactly trigger them off with that particular dog until something happens but you know pretty much what it is.
Some will play rough and squabble over treats, balls and sticks. Even friendly dogs can have a go at each other if something triggers them off.

My question is do you accept that not all dogs will like each other and accept it as one of those things and move on when it happens or do you get really emotional and precious about it and dwell on it, and feel wary and nervous about going out.
When I say squabble I don't mean a full on nasty incident.

Not precious at all! I don't mind a little squabble, its how they interact and learn from each other, anything serious of course i'd get involved. I had to walk my female dog away (spayed) once because two male dogs were harrassing her and about to start a full on fight, but things like that are rare.

I do accept not all dogs will be friends, so just let them decide that for themselves.

I'd say i'm the same! More precious of other peoples dogs. I know mine is friendly and loves to play, but accept other dogs may not want to, so i'm always wary about meeting new dogs. But you don't know how they will be till they get introduced. The main thing I hate is off lead little dogs that get scooped up constantly as soon as another dog tries to greet them, can't be good for the dog.

The dog is my baby who has, and has come to expect, the best of everything in life but I'm not precious about him. For context, he's a small dog (7kg).

He's usually running around the park with dogs several times larger than him. So long as everyone is having fun and no one ends up at the vets, I'm happy. Indeed, today he was having great fun with a lurcher far larger than him; the lurcher owner was about to call her dog away but I said I was happy for them to continue. He can also usually be found rolling in all manner of disgusting things, eating god-knows-what in the park and swimming in the river.

I've broken up a few dog scraps - all noise and no damage - and while I take no pleasure in it, I regard it as being a risk that comes with him leading the sort of life that gives him joy. I put appropriate safeguards in place - if one dog starts to look grumpy I'll recall my dog and make a swift exit; I avoid giving my own dog any resources he might guard.

Seeing and playing with other dogs is an important part of my dog's wellbeing; I cannot wrap him in cotton wool and I accept that there are some risks, but he must be allowed to enjoy his life and be a dog. A life lived in physical safety and social isolation wouldn't be good for him.

Whine don’t worry too much about your dog being sociable and wanting to play. Other dogs will tell her if his attention is unwanted and as you say she listens to that which shows she gets the doggy etiquette. It’s important for them to allowed to learn how to behave around other dogs, we can teach a bit but they also learn from other dogs.

Seeing and playing with other dogs is an important part of my dog's wellbeing; I cannot wrap him in cotton wool and I accept that there are some risks, but he must be allowed to enjoy his life and be a dog. A life lived in physical safety and social isolation wouldn't be good for him.

Couldn't agree more with this :)

I'm not precious. When our pup was small they were out being trained off lead and around other dogs because we are fortunate to have a nice dog walking community and an area known for lots of off lead dogs. The metaphorical village helped socialise them and it was great.

Last weekend we saw an owner with a 13 week puppy, lovely thing, on a really short lead. It was desperate to play, but owner kept yanking the lead back. Our dogs didn't approach because we don't let them run up to on lead dogs. Owner said they wanted to socialise it and could we introduce our dogs. The poor little thing was really up for playing, but each time it went to say hi or sniff or jump the owner pulled the lead.
I can't help but think that dog is doomed to end up reactive and badly socialised due to the owner's hang ups.

Poor dog. I know dogs can end up fear reactive from uncontrolled introductions with other dogs, but introductions like this sound ideal as both dog owners wanted socialisation. Pulling the dog away is just going to teach the dog that other dogs are scary, poor thing. Some owners need to be more confident and let dogs sort themselves out.

Type A. I love my dog to bits but I do know that squabbles do happen. I do take steps to prevent or avoid them though. If I see a dog on a lead I put her back on hers etc. The only time I'd get mad was if a dog did her damage or ran up and attacked her unprovoked because really those dogs should be on a lead. Mad is an understatement. I would go nuclear.

Type B owners do my head in because they are usually the ones that ignore warnings from owners with dogs that don't get on with their fellow canines and let their own approach, saying all the while, "Oh its fine. They'll just play,". And then kick off when the 'nasty' dog attacks poor little fluffykins.

I'm not overprotective of DDog, she's very friendly and even though she's small she loves to say hello to dogs of all sizes.

The issue is that she's been bashed around by BIL's playful boxers, so now panics anytime a dog gets a bit 'jumpy' and wants to play. In that situation I tend to put myself between her and the other dog - it's not that I think they'd hurt her, but I don't want her to snap and hurt them from fear.

I tend to pet both of them and use a calm voice to her, so would hope that I wasn't perpetuating any fear on her part, just reassuring her that everything will be ok.

I have also (rather stupidly, I will admit), put myself in between her and a snarling pit bull type dog that went for her. We were on a tight pathway with little room to manoeuvre, and it was just instinct, like I would have done with DS!

I accept it but I can tell from an early stage if a dog is going to attack mine and would try to keep them apart. Or if they do meet I just repeatedly say "good girl" in a higher pitched tone so she stays calm. Because if there's a tetchy dog she can flinch or bark which then kicks it all off. She's also been attacked a fair few times in the past with her having done nothing at all. She is a spaniel and has had her ears bitten and pulled through bars! So she can be a little anxiuos sometimes.

My brother's dogs on the other hand..I looked after them once when j was having a dinner party and the dogs tore the shit of out if each other. We couldn't break them up. On dog was bleeding and had pooped it was awful.
I was always worried when they met other dogs but they were absolutely fine and only every fought with each other. But that's why you shouldn't get two sister German shepherds!

I'm not overprotective of DDog, she's very friendly and even though she's small she loves to say hello to dogs of all sizes.

The issue is that she's been bashed around by BIL's playful boxers, so now panics

Yep this is where I'm at. My dog is pretty friendly but is cautious sometimes

I’m not precious at all, but then my dog is fairly big and able to handle himself. People do get a bit panicky when dogs snap or bark - but that’s how they communicate, they can’t exactly speak up and say ‘please would you back away and leave me alone, thank you so much’. It’s very rare that a dog would purposely try and bite and get into a fight. But then my parents’ dog is tiny and elderly and so even a ‘playful’ dog jumping on her could cause quite some damage. So I think it is dependent on the dog - some people have reason to be ‘precious’.

Mine is weary of certain breeds so I do tend to avoid them, I do let him play sometimes but mostly I just want to walk with him and do our thing. The other day he met a lab puppy and they had a nice little play but as I walked away the other owner just followed like we were now best friend and should walk together [hmmm] need to get headphones I think

Mine is weary of certain breeds so I do tend to avoid them

Same here. Mine was attacked by a Jack Russell and now he's really wary of small dogs. He's okay at a distance and if he's on lead (and being distracted with food) but off-lead I wouldn't trust him to mix with one unless they knew each other.

Stellaris22
I agree with you. Some dogs end up poorly socialised and reactive because of their owner's hang ups.

A few months ago by dogs were playing with each other nowhere near the small yappy dog in question. They were quite happy and yappy dog owner decided to inform me that I needed my dogs under control because her dog is easily frightened and can't manage around other dogs (as she fusses and scoops them up for a cuddle). I did point out they're both my dogs, are absolutely fine and are nowhere near her dog! Then for effect gave the command on the whistle and had both dogs by my side sitting whilst her yappy thing was still giving it what for in her arms. I left thinking what a stupid owner. No wonder her dog is jumpy.

One park near me has a mix of on lead and off lead dogs (think big country park with lots of space). The vast majority of dogs on and off lead are just fine. There's some owners who have dogs on lead and you can see them tugging at their dogs when other dogs are trotting back to their owners obediently or walking on a lead to heel and haven't so much as looked at their dog. I don't really understand why someone would get a dog if thats their approach.

Mine is nervous and a little fear aggressive. She's not walked off lead, so if a squabble happens I'm pissed off and upset because my dog was the one under control, and it's put back her confidence which I'm working so hard on. At 5kg she's also much more vulnerable to life threatening injury than the 25kg "he only wants to play" who has just got up in her face.

But sure, call me precious

but mostly I just want to walk with him and do our thing

I think a great many behavioural problems would be helped by owners thinking a bit more like this, tbh.

There is a lot to be said for an owner spending more time getting and maintaining a dog's focus on them rather than allowing it to have an overly exciting time playing with other dogs.

If I had to think about how many times an 'overly' cautious owner bothered me or my dog it would be zero. If I thought about how many times a overly relaxed owner and dog with poor recall around other dogs bothered us - it must be close to a hundred. Often not big issues, often just disrupting our walk or Battendog's concentration when we are off doing something specific, or nicking treats out my pouch which also happens a lot if I don't guard them.

I also don't think it helps nervous owners to have those with more confident dogs sneer at them and think "no wonder they have nervous dogs". Nervousness and anxiety to situations is no more under conscious control than our heart rate it and no of us have any idea what that person's experiences are or why they might be nervous.

Behavioural theory is behavioural theory, whether it's a dog or a human. In both species, a stressful situation is only ever made worse by the thought that someone else present is angry, upset, stressed, grumpy etc. It is only ever made better by that person being upbeat, friendly, happy etc.

How on earth would a nervous owner ever be encouraged to allow dog-dog interaction if they constantly got the impression the other owner was judging them? A smile and move on can make all the difference to the other owner and, by extension, to their dog.

We also have a mix of on and off leads in the park where we are, most owners know that on lead dogs mean don't approach. Theres currently an on lead GSD who normally plays brilliantly off lead with the other dogs, but is having a sad time being restrained due to growing too quickly and doing damage to his joints. So there is always a reason why dogs are on lead which needs to be respected.

But its when there are off lead dogs in the same area and the owners make a complete point of their dog being too precious to be allowed to interact with others that makes me sad, especially when you see the owners struggling to keep their dog away from the friendly doggy social group as the dog clearly wants to play.

Also witnessed the scooping up of small dogs whenever another dog comes in for a friendly sniff, I always think the being picked up is scarier for the dog than a friendly dog just wanting to say hi.

I also don't think it helps nervous owners to have those with more confident dogs sneer at them and think "no wonder they have nervous dogs". Nervousness and anxiety to situations is no more under conscious control than our heart rate it and no of us have any idea what that person's experiences are or why they might be nervous
I used to be scared of dogs and would freeze and panic and want to escape the situation. I didn't get my own dog until not only was I happy around dogs I know, but had also got over my own hangups. It wouldn't have been fair on a dog for me to get a dog and then end up passing my issues onto them. To have got a dog because I wanted one but then want to keep picking it up and running away from all other dogs would have been selfish and irresponsible.

I do look at the actions of some owners and think it's hardly surprising their dogs behave that way. If you've got a large dog that's been poorly trained and the owner is giving a very ineffective "oh Max, come here, then laughing" then it's hardly surprising that the large dog with lots of energy isn't listening. I have a friend who has a lovely dog, but they're a lap dog and don't settle in cafes/pubs unless they're on friend's knees. It's hardly surprising when their dog has been allowed to do that for 18 months. They're now surprised that their dog doesn't settle.
If you've got someone with a young puppy tugging on the lead every 5 seconds when another dog comes in sight then it's not surprising that dog learns that other dogs are a threat and something to be scared of.

My boy is my baby, and to some degree I can be a bit precious/protective at times. He has been unwell most of his life and is unfortunately dog aggressive due to being attacked several times as a pup so has quite bad anxiety.
He's always on lead and wears a muzzle yet off lead dogs that run up to him always seem to have owners that kick off when he goes berserk. As an owner I do all I can to ensure his, and other dogs safety. I get pissed by attitudes of other people and I'm not one to be quiet about it. After, his anxiety is through the roof and it's me who has to deal with it. As he has a degrading spine he is also in a lot of pain after an incident like that. I avoid country parks but this happens on street walks too.
I don't ever care if another dog is making noises, or even if he does, I just don't want them coming up to him. Sometimes I've joked with other owners about their behaviour, solidarity I guess because I'm often judged especially as he's a staffie.

I don't like the assumption on threads like this that nervous dogs are always the fault of the owner.

Mine is reactive on lead around other dogs because he's been attacked three times by different off-lead dogs, while he was on lead and ending his own business. Now he doesn't like to be approached by off-lead dogs and will bark at them in an attempt to keep them away.

It's not his fault he was attacked - the first time he was walking alone, minding his own business and a man with two off-lead terriers couldn't recall them and they circled him, and one bit him on the throat. The second time, he was sat in the backseat of DH's car, in his harness/seatbelt and minding his own business when another dog got in the car and bit him on his stomach. That same dog later attacked him through the back fence of our garden and bit his ear. It's no wonder he's afraid!

Agreed @adaline

Nervous behaviour in dogs (similar in people) is the result of a complex blend of:

• genetics which ultimately control the brain development and physiology and thus have a large influence over resulting behaviour

• in womb experience, in particular the amount of adrenaline etc they were exposed to as a result of the dam's emotional state

• experience during the first 8 weeks with the breeder and litter, arguably the most influencial time wrt to dog-dog behaviour and to the development of a healthy adrenocortical response to stress

• experience during the rest of the dog's life

• how the dog interpretted those experiences; some dogs will be more resilient to negative experiences than others (which itself is multifactorial)

I don't doubt that nervous owners may well be more likely to have nervous dogs and there are, again, complex reasons why that might be the case, but it is never clear cut to say just because the owner and dog are nervous then the owner caused it.

I'm kind of 'reverse precious' like Whine upthread. My (large) dog ignores most dogs, plays with a few dogs and takes an instant and major dislike to others (usually large, unneutered males like him). I think he finds them threatening, but his reaction can alarm other dog owners. He's never hurt another dog (though has been bitten twice by other dogs). So if I see a dog he's likely to dislike, I put him back on the lead and give it a wide berth. He's getting more chilled out as he matures though - fewer dogs set him off now!

adaline
I don't think anyone has said nervous behaviour is always down to the owner.

Some of us have said that with some dogs you can see why/how a dog becomes nervous and that owners behaviour transfers.

Take the dog we met the other weekend. Happy dog, 13 weeks, owner wanted it to socialise, but was tugging at the lead. Owner asked if our dogs could come across, we called them. Owner continued to jerk on the lead. That poor dog is being taught other dogs are a threat. It won't be intentional in that situation, but repeat that interaction often enough and you'll see where it ends up.

Or the yappy dog with the twitchy owner who saw fit to tell me to get my dogs under control (who were playing with each other and nowhere near her and her dog). They didn't need to pick up and fuss over their dog because two dogs who were nowhere near her dog were happily playing,and she certainly didn't need to lecture me on how to handle my dogs who were significantly better behaved than hers.

Owners influence their dogs behaviours across the spectrum and that includes nervous dogs.

Some of us have said that with some dogs you can see why/how a dog becomes nervous and that owners behaviour transfers.

Oh, I definitely agree that some owners do influence their dogs in a negative way. But not all aggression/reactive/nervous behaviour is down to the owner, and there's always an undercurrent of that on threads like this. Like you're weird/precious/silly for keeping your nervous dog away from other dogs.

As the owner of a nervous/reactive dog, it's hard to do the right thing. I don't automatically trust owners who say their dog is good with other dogs because the owners of the two dogs who bit mine when he was younger told me the same thing!

Walks with a reactive dog aren't easy. I constantly end up doubling back on myself or swerving into a random side street to avoid other dogs because I don't want my dog to get scared and react to them. It's also not nice when he barks at other dogs (through fear) and you get a reputation in the local area because you have (what other people perceive to be) a noisy/out of control dog. Especially when he wouldn't react if other people and their dogs just left him be to walk in peace!