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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Please help with my puppy

45 replies

RusticFern · 08/10/2019 13:12

We purchased a gorgeous golden cocker spaniel pup just over week ago. He is now 10 weeks old.

My parents also purchased one of his litter mates and we explained to the breeder at the time of viewing them that we planned for my mum to look after the two pups in the day while me and my husband are at work. The breeder didn't show any concern in fact she said how lovely it would be.

Fast forward to now and despite both being only 10 weeks old, they start to play fight as puppies do and this escalates in to a full on fight for the top dog position. My mum now keeps them completely separate in the day. However, yesterday my mums pup was crated and Tommy went over to him for the first time that day. He peed by his crate and mid flow, we popped him outside thinking nothing of it. He came back in again and did the same thing. In total he peed 3 times in quick succession. We could not work out where it had all come from! My mum also said how she had struggled with them both and that Tommy would cry constantly when crated when she was dealing with her own pup.

At home, our pup has got in to the habit of deliberating peeing in his crate even though i've deep cleaned it so many times (and by this I mean, he lays by our feet just after toileting outside; gets up and pees in his crate while point blank staring at us).

It is really getting us down and we have no idea what to do. I have cried every day since getting Tommy and it's putting a strain on my relationship with my family as they are worrying about me. Today I was sent home from work in floods of tears as while I love this pup and want to keep him with all my heart, I can't see any quality of life for us, my parents and the two dogs.

I contacted the breeder who laughed and said "well this can happen" which was so unhelpful.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. Please help me.

OP posts:

fivedogstofeed · 08/10/2019 14:48

Everything missbattenburg said.

You have been conned but you need to do what is best for the puppies long term, and if a trainer says they need to be separated then that's what you need to do.

fivedogstofeed · 08/10/2019 14:50

I'm scared to ask if these puppies came with any vaccinations or microchip :(

adaline · 08/10/2019 14:50

So what's your plan going forward, OP?

Original poster

RusticFern · 08/10/2019 15:21

@windydaysuponus

everyone we speak to has given us a lecture but it doesn't serve any purpose as we already have the pups and now we just need to find out where we go from here. Had we have known there would ever be a potential issue, we wouldn't have put the dogs or us through it.

I've contacted the Kennel Club directly and they replied they aren't aware of a breeder by the name I provided, even though the litter was advertised on the KC website so i'm a bit concerned on that front too.

OP posts:

Original poster

RusticFern · 08/10/2019 15:22

@fivedogstofeed They have had their first vaccinations and have both been microchipped

OP posts:

Original poster

RusticFern · 08/10/2019 15:25

@adaline I think we're going to have to rehome our pup to give them both the best chance.

It's so gutting and we feel like we've totally failed him. Our home was supposed to be his forever home.

OP posts:

adaline · 08/10/2019 15:28

It's a sad decision but I don't think the care you had planned for your dog was ever going to work going forward. Expecting your mum to cope with two young dogs was naive at best.

I hope you find your puppy a good home. Please go through a rescue centre rather than selling him.

Original poster

RusticFern · 08/10/2019 15:29

@Wolfiefan the advert was on KC website. We thought we were doing everything by the book but turns out it means nothing.

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 08/10/2019 15:36

It means you’ve bought a pedigree. That’s all. The most basic of research would tell you it’s no protection.
The breeder is rubbish. Contact the breed rescue and ensure your mother gets decent insurance and training help for the pup she took.
And don’t get another puppy.

hairyturkey · 08/10/2019 15:40

Yeah you may need to consider daycare or a dog walker coming in. It's not really fair on your mum- it's well known that littermates aren't good companions. They're really little but if they're working type cockers I hate to tell you it was 5 years before ours calmed down (lone dogs one after the other)!

missbattenburg · 08/10/2019 15:44

It's so gutting and we feel like we've totally failed him

You only really fail him if you don't do right by him now.

Rehome him through a decent organisation, write off any money you've spent on him.

Then go on to share your experience because the more times people hear of the 'failures' the better. Otherwise it's all "I bought my puppy off a man with a van and he turned out to be a superdog who saved the lives of a thousand nurses" kind of thing. It leads to people only hearing about the lucky ones and getting a misrepresentation of the truth.

Nettleskeins · 08/10/2019 16:22

If you have two kittens they fight like crazy chase each other round and then curl up together. Two puppies will play fight in an alarming manner, but left together will usually establish some bond. The problem is not the fighting but the fact that they are difficult to "train" and will bond with each other rather than a human. Most puppies won't pee in a crate, so if the two puppies are crated together in the day in a large crate, and put out together in the garden on a regular basis when they are not crated, you will probably be able to toilet train them eventually.
But these are 10 weeks old...come over to the puppy thread and ask anyone if their puppy was particularly docile or well behaved at that age..most were demanding, hated being left alone or ignored and peed and pooed all over the house, one or not..

I think the issue you are describing is that your mum isn't used to seeing two puppies playfight. I've seen it when I picked up my puppy and when my puppy played with other young dogs...play play play and sleep sleep sleep. They need to be together in a large crate and for play a pen, and given a sleep/downtime/toilet/play routine.

It takes time. I think your puppy will benefit from the other puppy's company, after all what is daycare but the company of other dogs? but your mum will need to do more. It is like looking after twins, rewarding, but double the work. [I have twins and you cannot return them to the breeder]

Nettleskeins · 08/10/2019 16:24

your puppy was probably peeing because he was so excited and it certainly wasn't malicious or some sort of territorial attack.

Nettleskeins · 08/10/2019 16:30

if your dog pees in his crate, the best thing is to clean it thoroughly with white vinegar, possibly change the bedding you are using unless you can wash that in a vinegary rinse, and make sure you feed him in there for a bit, as dogs again don't tend to pee where they eat or drink. Your puppy sounds a bit stressed and wound up by everything - the right thing would be to get the two more familiarised with each other and what the daily routine is and it to become all a bit more boring and "normal" for him to be with the other puppy. It cannot be that easy for him to keep moving from house to house and owner to owner and worrying where it the right place to pee or not!!!

Floralnomad · 08/10/2019 16:33

Honestly you sound quite unrealistic in your expectations and your mother sounds a bit out of her depth , neither of which mean you need to rehome your puppy , you both just need to adapt . You say you took time off to bond , but you’ve only had him a week and you were at work yesterday so you didn’t take long enough . Would it be possible for you and your partner to take some A/L or work from home so that between you you could have your pup at home a couple of days in the week to give your mum a break and for you to properly bond with your pup . My sister had litter mate pups and they only had 2 serious fights in their life and the boy died earlier this year at 16 , so it can work out fine .

EnidPrunehat · 09/10/2019 13:10

She's not any sort of reputable breeder if she won't take the pup back.

Any of my dogs that have come to me as pups - none of them being breeds or types recognised by the Kennel Club! - have come with clear and firm instructions that if anything, sadly, doesn't work out, they are to be brought straight back to the breeder.

That said, it is very early days. I'd struggle to rehome a 10 week old pup that basically needs training, settling and sensible arrangements to co-exist with his littermate. However, as someone else has said, don't wait to pass a teenage nightmare into rescue.

adaline · 09/10/2019 13:18

have come with clear and firm instructions that if anything, sadly, doesn't work out, they are to be brought straight back to the breeder.

Yes, we have that too. Our breeders have taken back dogs years down the line when the owner sadly became disabled and couldn't look after them. It's really reassuring to know he'll be looked after if, God forbid, anything happened to us.

They also took back a puppy when the situation didn't work and kept him until they found a new home for him. All the owners are in touch with each other via social media and he still gives out training advice to all of us. We've even been invited to his holiday home in France for a family meet up!

Wolfiefan · 09/10/2019 14:05

We do meet ups too. It’s reassuring to know that I have lifetime support from our breeder. Just one reason I could never be a breeder. Such a commitment.

adaline · 09/10/2019 14:07

Such a commitment.

It really is. The sleepless nights, the work, the money, the training, the worry - and it doesn't stop when your pups go to new homes! Our breeder checks in on us all regularly and will always offer advice if we need it.

Alwaysgrey · 09/10/2019 19:48

I bought from a crap breeder. Nice but I suspect not brilliant. And I wouldn’t do it again I’d be more thorough. That said our boy is amazing. Apart from pulling on a lead and his obsession with other dogs.

Can you take some time off work? Our dog is nearly a year but has had the odd accident here and there. Yours is a baby. It’s a bit like potty training a toddler. Watching and bribing. Are you and your mum completely new to dog owning?

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