If you could go back, would you still have got your dog?

[Soubriquet]

I love my dogs to bits.

I really do

But if I could go back 2 years ago, I wouldn’t have got them.

They are very restrictive in what you can do. You can’t be spontaneous. You always have to consider the dogs.

The cat couldn’t care less but the dogs need you to care.

They need to be walked and loved.

And you have to clean up their mess when they decide to destroy something.

I have committed to these dogs and I will give them 100% but when these two pass away, we have decided no more dogs.

grumpymiddleagedwoman , that’s why mine isn’t allowed offlead in woods etc as he would be first down the hole and getting lost . I’m very selective about where he gets offlead despite his very good recall but fortunately we have a lovely village green / heath about 5 minutes walk from our house which is perfectly safe for him so he gets a good run around twice a day . Having said he’s a worker he lives his home comforts , sleeps on a bed and is very fussy with food .

flax, I actually think it’s a bit sad that you can’t understand why people have pets . They bring immense benefits to both physical and mental health and also bring great joy and love to a household .

For the record. I am not a 'fan of 'PETA' and I don't have an 'agenda. I don't even know much about PETA beyond what most people know.

I could sit here and watch a goldfish in a bowl, it going round and round in circles, but it isn't much fun the fish is it? I would rather see fish in their natural environment or as natural as possible. I feel the same in general about all animals kept as pets. If that makes me a bit of sad person then OK but I can't be the only one who doesn't get the whole pet thing?

@CarolDanvers yes definitely the breed. Ours actually pees on his own day bed which is usually unheard of. 4 years old now so not going to change. Sadly him, baby and open plan house just doesn't work too well but we love him and made our choice so I have to live with it lol. Sounds awful but that really is how I feel at the moment although as dd is getting bigger and I can see her love for him too its making me accept it all a bit more again.

Flax can I keep my dogs they are search and rescue dogs, sniffer dogs and the collies work my sheep. Oh I guess the collies might be at risk .

No I wouldn’t. I adore dogs but ours is a massive PITA. She is dog and people aggressive. Not everyone just strangers she will bark at because she is scared, she is scared of everything, and because she is big she looks scary. She’s never bitten anyone or anything gets within 6 feet and barks and looks scary. Have to lock her away when people come over. Luckily her recall is excellent as she is too scared to go far from me and likes to see me at all times. The most annoying thing is other people’s dogs, she’s on leash dog comes bounding up for a sniff, she growls and air snaps at them. Owner thinks she’s all aggressive. She’s scared with nowhere to run. Wish I had a nice wee friendly dog.

@Jouska
I hope flax never needs rescued, would she send your dogs away and stay stranded? 🤣🙄

I would. She was a chewer as a puppy and she can be initimidating to others when she barks but she's so gentle with my children, she is fine to be left alone at home, and we walk her off the lead. She loved kennels when we lived in the UK, now we're in Asia we have a nanny so when we go away we can just leave her at home. Wish we could take her away with us more as we used to in other countries but this isn't really the place for dog-friendly holidays!

I love having her here when I come home, I love seeing my children play with her. She's good with other dogs so we often host friends' dogs when they go away.

I also feel safer with a dog in the house.

I should add - she's cost us a fair bit in relocations (3 countries so far!) and vet bills once when she was attacked by another dog. My husband always says we can't have another due to the cost of relocation but I can't imagine being without a dog!

I’m torn actually.

When i think of my “ideal” lifestyle, I am 50:50 whether i’d like to buy a cottage with land in scotland, rescue a load of chickens/goats/cows and spend my days pottering around. Or would i prefer a city centre flat with lots of amenities, no ties or restrictions, so i can jet off on long holidays at a moments notice.

My dog is absolutely no bother and usually either comes with us or I have volunteers to look after him. Tbh the cat is more of a worry, she’s a rescue so stresses herself to starvation in catteries but neither does she like being left for long periods. I tend to have to get a house sitter.

When these pets go i would think long and hard about which lifestyle i want.

What i would really like is a time share dog . A nice retired person to mind him in the day while i’m at work, or for a week when i go on holiday. In return they aren’t tied to a dog either- can go away, days out, needn’t worry if they need hospitalisation or something happens...

@Jouska
@Bookworm4

Ive nothing against working dogs, as I said previously they have their uses
Guide dogs
Sniffer dogs
Rescue dogs
Ratters

Not sure about 'heeling' dogs used in herding animals or therapy dogs. The last thing I'd want to see in hospital would be a dog. Some grapes and chocolates yes, a dog no. Too stressful

I too really like my 4 dogs.

They are well looked after.

But I won't get more when they die.

I was emotionally blackmailed into getting them by Dh.

Of course, all the walks, feeding etc falls to me.

Plus when we travel it's so expensive to put them in care whilst we are away.

I'm looking forward to some freedom.

Yes I would without a doubt.. The working around him for days out etc is a pain bu what he brings to this family is priceless and worth the sacrifices for sure.
My husband and daughter both have aspergers etc and had terrible melt downs and anxiety and now find it so much easier to relate to people and emotions etc as they have someone who needs them and can't talk or explain, they've learnt so much from him and are much calmer now. Our daughter is adored by the dog and he makes her feel loved when the outside world doesn't. I suffered with severe depression, ptsd etc and it's helped me no end to have those gorgeous loving eyes to talk to. He always listens and cuddles and that's worth so much to me. I never thought I could love an animal this much but we do. He's a royal pain sometimes but so so wonderful for us as a family. He's very loved x

@Flaxmeadow
From your last post Id say the real issue is you don’t actually like dogs, if that’s the case you can’t act mystified why people do like pets. I’m assuming you’re an intelligent adult and it’s odd you can’t understand the concept of a companion animal.

bluebluezoo you sound like an ideal candidate for borrowmydoggy which I'm always plugging here. We've found a wonderful young couple who love having rookiedog for weekends and holidays when we're away ( they both work so I keep the dog walkers going and they stay in our house). We've stayed with paid walkers for the working week as I wanted to ensure we had reliable cover for work, but there's no reason why you couldn't find someone for the week as well.

When we retire and are dogless, I'd happily join as a borrower so I can look after someone else's pooch from time to time without being the primary carer.

@Flaxmeadow
I work on a hospital ward where people have (often terminal) cancer and sometimes we have therapy dog visits. The excitement and joy amongst patients when a gorgeous, well trained dog comes into their room is lovely. At least one patient on the ward cries every time.

My dog is probably my favourite member of my family
She's pretty ace, I could work on a couple of her annoying habits, but as she's 95% good, I've been a bit lazy.
She's not my favourite dog that I've owned though, even though she brings me so much happiness she'll never replace the one I lost.

Sadly no. I got our dog a few years before we had children and we naively thought that having future babies and a dog would be fine but it just hasn’t worked like that. I have found that all affection and love I had for my dog pre children has gone and he’s just another thing for me to think about and have to take care of. Plus I constantly have to monitor him and the kids as they’re too young to be trusted with him. I feel bad as have always had dogs growing up and knew a lot about dogs, and on the whole he is a really good dog, I just didn’t know the reality of having children. Thankfully we have family members who are happy to look after him and will most likely take him permenantly soon. I will feel like I failed as a dog owner. My advice if you’re thinking of getting a dog but you don’t have kids yet and are planning to is to wait until you’ve had your children and then see if you have the energy and love left for a dog

I feel the same as you op. We got our dog two and a half years ago. We love him to bits, and would never ever get rid of him. But if I could go back I’d probably not get a dog. Or possibly consider a diffent breed. We did lots of research and knew what we were getting into, so we thought.
We have a beagle by the way, the most playful and loving dogs ever, but also a lot of hard work.

He is very high energy and it feels like you have a toddler. We can’t let him off his lead because he had no recall, even took him to classes to help train him. And he destroys everything. He gets way to excited around other people so having visitors is always stressful.

I do miss just being able to up and go whenever I like. Or not have to worry that we have been out to long and the dog may be lonely.

But, he is ours for life now, and I would be heartbroken if anything happened to him.

I agree with other posters, if I ever got another dog I would bypass the puppy years and get an older rescue dog.

What is a dog kept in a house if it isn't caged?

I take the dog to the park every day and try to set him free from his cage, but always seems to follow me home again to the cage Indeed, he actually usually looks quite happy when I put him back on the lead. Perhaps he knows which side his bread is buttered?

take a terrier dog, any type of terrier as an example of why keeping 'pets' now is unnatural and why train them is difficult. These dogs were bred, over hundreds of years, to catch and kill vermin, often sadly trained to the point of starvation, to do this as their working dog job. Now we have these terrier breeds in people's homes, no longer used for their historic purpose. How is that natural for the dog? How is it natural to keep this type of dog in a family home? If it's bred to catch rats and kill them, what should it do now? Why is it now thought appropriate to have them as a pet in our homes? How do you successfully un-train a dog out of its inbred compulsion and is it fair on the dog to expect it to comply?

You don't try and remove the instincts - you work with them and teach the dog acceptable outlets for their desires. For instance, my terrier

• is allowed to chase (but never catches) grey squirrels but knows full well that ducks are off limits.
• is allowed to dig up molehills and in woodland, but not grassed areas (he sticks to this without me having to tell him). Some people give their dogs a digging pit in the back garden.
• loves to chase a ball (prey) and bring it back, and loves to eviscerate a soft toy.
• has alerted us on three separate occasions to uninvited household rodents where there was no other evidence of them - twice were when we were visiting other people and I had to suggest they put mouse traps down
• fulfils his tunneling instincts by burrowing his way under my duvet so he can sleep next to my legs.

I don't feel even slightly guilty about keeping him as a pet.

"Companionship' to me is being with someone who you can at least have a conversation with. Someone you can watch a movie or go out to dinner with. Share an experience in a meaningful way.
How is a dog a companion?

I actually feel sorry for you that you are unable to comprehend the bond of love and companionship between dog and human.

The dog and I manage to communicate both with and without words, he makes me meet people I otherwise never would (dogs are great conversation starters, and there are other regular dog walkers I often see and chat to), I have taken him on days out (eg country show, dog events), snuggle on the sofa with him to watch a film. He understands words and phrases I've never actively taught him, and somehow he seems to have me well trained (for instance, pawing at his bowl is usually a well timed reminder that dinner is due).

If that makes me a bit of sad person then OK but I can't be the only one who doesn't get the whole pet thing?

I don't get the whole 'child' thing but lots of people do. Just because I never wanted children doesn't stop me from understanding that others view it very differently just like pet ownership.

No. I love my two but I will never get another dog.

One in particular is so needy. Hair everywhere. Scratches walls to communicate. He's gorgeous but isn't easy.

I know I'll be so sad when they go but the house will stop suffering.

No. We have two rescues, one developed dog to dog aggression after about five months and can't be walked off the lead or near other dogs who are off the lead. The other came to us 'housetrained' AHAHAHA no. Soiled daily, despite multiple walks a day, training, trips to vet. Eventually we installed a dog flap which solved the indoor soiling to some extent but means our yard is basically a dog toilet. The damage to flooring and the need to install fencing to make a dog yard etc cost thousands. He also can't be walked on the lead as we can't stop him pulling. Both of them chew and despite a thousand distraction/chew toys they have destroyed the house. We've tried training groups, one to one training, even a dog psychologist to deal with their behaviours but absolutely nothing makes a difference.

Can't go for the nice family dog walks we'd imagined as no chance of keeping the dogs and kids under control at the same time. Can't even walk them together as they have very different needs - one needs an enclosed playing field to run in, the other needs long walks on the lead.

They're both lovely dogs and when they finally settle down a bit in the evenings it can be pleasant to have them around but they've also caused so much stress (I seriously threatened my husband with divorce over the dogs at one point when I was struggling with looking after small children AND cleaning dog poo/wee out of the carpet three times a day). In retrospect we had no idea what we were taking on and the 'research' we'd done was totally insufficient, I openly admit we were foolish to get them in the first place. To me the downsides totally outweigh the benefits. We won't rehome them as with their issues and age they'd be unlikely to find a good home now, but I will never ever get another dog and I don't really understand why people enjoy dog ownership if I'm honest!

Wow @Noisysparrows you certainly are under the cosh with your two high need pets.

Much respect to you for your continued care. Lucky dogs to have you on their side.

However, I can see why you will very much cherish your freedom when the time comes.

I have no regrets getting our dog.

We have a 3 year old JRT bought when DS was 15. He is our first family dog. DH and I are in our 50's. he is fine left at home for a few hours, and I work PT and DH works shifts, things we took into consideration when buying him. Being a small dog, even though he has a large personality and is quite barky, he isn't all over the place, even when active. There are 3 of us to walk him, although DH doesn't really do his share, he will step up when DS stays over with his GF.

He comes with us when we holiday in the U.K., we have good kennels for when we go abroad and if DH and I want to go to a nice hotel for a couple of days then DS as a young adult can now look after him.

I don't know if we'll get another one though. Jack Russell's can live to around 17-18 by which time DH and I will be retiring. I think if I did get another at that stage I'd like an older dog, may be one whose owner can no longer care for him. But with an older dog comes the vet bills / higher insurance costs. We'll have to see, that's a good few years away yet.

Meanwhile I really wouldn't be without my current dog, whatever I may tell him when he's stolen my hairbrush again.