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The doghouse

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Original poster

Will a week ruin toilet training?

52 replies

Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 04:15

Ddog is going to stay with my mum for 6 nights, so that I can have my csection and settle back in afterwards. He's 14 months and we only cracked toilet training a few months ago. It's not an ideal situation as I'm always at home, but my mum works 9-5 so for four days out of the six he's there he's going to be left alone (well, with her other dog who he gets on great with). He's stayed there before and been ok, but she has sometimes come home to pee and poop, which is fair enough after such a long time. They can't be left with access to garden and there's no one to go check in on them.

My question is, will six days of just peeing and pooping wherever he wants ruin him being toilet trained in our house when he comes home? I don't know if I can deal with our house being used as a toilet when we have a newborn on our hands. If it's going to be a problem I might just send DH to pick the dog up as soon as we're home from hospital

OP posts:
Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 06:51

Even if we get a dog walker at ours we'd worry with him being alone throughout the day and night, so DH would still end up spending most his time at home.At mums he has another dog who he loves to play with and she'll be there all evening/night to look after him. He won't be completely alone at all there

OP posts:
TakeOneForTheBreem · 15/07/2019 06:52

"hospital is 40 mins away so not easy for DH to pop in as such"

40 minutes is nothing! He can easily spend four/five hours with you then go back for the dog.

PenelopeFlintstone · 15/07/2019 06:53

The other possibility is a long and lightweight tether. Nobody likes them but it might be better for a few days rather than undoing all your work and your mum coming home to an awful mess. I'll get flamed but it won't do any harm for a few days and you really are stuck; most people don't have fields for gardens.

TakeOneForTheBreem · 15/07/2019 06:53

Also, what savoy said.

Don't post on mn for reassurance. Post for the truth. That's what I like about this site, other places would just say "there there, it'll all be ok" but people will give you an honest opinion here.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 06:54

DH definitely not trying to make me feel worse. He's only got one week off to spend with baby including these first few days so it's very important to him. He's upset I'm telling him to stay home overnight with ddog. I understand where he's coming from as I was ok(ish) with him being at mums was just worried about him coming home un toilet trained. Now I've posted I'm getting upset and saying he can't stay there. Which in turn upsets DH.

Probably not helped by the fact I've been up all night worrying about this, and woke him up at 6am to discuss it.... BlushSad

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 15/07/2019 06:58

I meant a walker at your mums. That does seem to be the best place for him to be. Like Breem says, have a last ditch attempt to find someone. If you can't then you've done your best.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:11

Mum can change her hours to 10-5? I know it's still not greet but it's an hour less. Usually I wake ddog up around 7 when I get up, he goes out for a pee and poo and then at around 2pm he scratches to go out and does a wee, he doesn't usually do a poop until he goes for his evening walk.

So if mum let's him out around 9.40 when she leaves, and then again at 5.20, when shes home. That's not too different, time wise? I know it's still a long time for him with no human company, but I really do think he'd cope better with being constantly with mums dog and having my mum all morning and evening then he will bring largely completely alone in our house with only occasional visits from DH.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 15/07/2019 07:12

Please do not ever tether outside; dog theft is a huge problem and ever increasing. I’m a bit confused; is your DH planning to never leave the hospital? I wasn’t aware they allowed dads to stay 24/7. He’s been a bit precious, he can come home at night and let you rest.Get a dog walker for through the day, DH home at night.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:14

I want DH with me in hospital. We aren't on a ward and have a double room and we both wanted him to be there the whole time.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 15/07/2019 07:14

Just read your update; he goes out at 7am then not again until 2pm? No wonder he’s struggled with toilet training, he’s a young dog and is not getting stimulation/exercise he needs, you should have a dog walker just now. Why do you not take him out more often?

Bookworm4 · 15/07/2019 07:16

Really? You want him there 24/7? I’d probably strangle him! You’ll be fine, let him go home. I really don’t understand this need for 24/7 attendance 🙄

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:17

Sorry?? @Bookworm4 I let him out frequently throughout the day, but he just sniffs stuff and comes back in. He scratches to go out around 2 and actually wees at that time. He gets a long walk every single night when DH finishes work. He's a little cavalier, he doesn't need multiple walks a day but when I wasn't suffering from HG he did have a quick half hour from me at lunch. That time is made up by DH and added on to his evening walk. We can't afford to pay for a dog walker everyday whilst I've been pregnant and I don't believe it's necessary. I appreciate people's opinions on the situation I'm asking about, but I don't need comments on how I look after my dog in general, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:18

And I really don't see why you feel the need to comment on my DH wanting to be in the hospital with us, my relationship is none of your business either!

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ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 15/07/2019 07:19

The thing is though, if you had another child at home your DH would have to be there for the child, I think he's being a bit unreasonable wanting to be there with you the whole time. Much better that the dog stays in its own familiar environment and DH pops home for toileting/walks, he can still be with you in the day.

TakeOneForTheBreem · 15/07/2019 07:20

I agree that 7 to 2 is a long time for a dog to be inside every day, OP.

Maybe something to change?

It sounds like you have a garden at your place so no reason not to just let him out to pee whenever.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:21

Please can people advise on the situation I'm asking about not my dogs life in general. He's fine.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 15/07/2019 07:31

I see this is a thread where OP only wants agreement, my comments were not on your relationship but that he could leave hospital. If everything is fine don’t be so bloody touchy and as someone who works with dogs; not getting a walk until the evening is far from ideal but you charge on and discard every suggestion put to you.

TakeOneForTheBreem · 15/07/2019 07:33

If he's inside every day from 7 to 2, which is 7 hours, then what difference will one more hour make?

No difference at all.

Just leave him at your mum's and stop worrying.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:35

I've never once said he's only allowed out at 2pm, I've just noticed that's when he goes and has a wee. I open the back door frequently when I go to the toilet or kitchen and he'll sometimes go out and have a sniff and a mooch but he doesn't use the toilet during these times 90% of the time. He scratches on the door if he wants to go out and he gets let out straight away when he does away. I'm not doing anything wrong in that aspect. I'm at home 24/7 with him and I've noticed he has a routine with when he actually pees and poos, so I mentioned it for context to explain how it would be affected by my mums working hours. I can assure you, not that I should have to, that I am a perfectly good dog owner and he has a good life here. He gets an hour and a half walk every night, off lead. He hasn't had a midday walk since I've been quite pregnant no, but we can't afford a dog walker every day when I'm not working and he gets a walk every night! He's a cavalier not a Labrador!

OP posts:
Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:39

Bookworm the point of the thread was to check if it would undo toilet training, I didn't ask for opinions on my dogs life in general. So no, I'm not asking for blind agreement. I'm just getting responses that have nothing to do with the point of the thread. It's kind of hard to not get touchy, I've clearly pointed out I feel really guilty about the situation and have tried to look into other options. To then be made to feel even more guilty that he's not had a midday walk whilst I've been too sick to give him one and unable to afford a dog walker doesn't help me with the situation I'm asking about, makes me feel like absolute crap and doubt myself and at 39 weeks pregnant I'm slightly hormonal and sleep deprived. I love my dog dearly and we do everything possible for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 07:44

I have every intention of starting up his midday walks again once I've recovered from my section, but I just don't need the additional guilt in the meantime.

OP posts:
limitedscreentime · 15/07/2019 07:53

I'd rather my dog was left (temporarily) 9-5 than went to kennels. I don't think that the situation, whilst not ideal is unforgivable. I'd put some puppy pads down by the back door so if he wants to go he can go on the pads rather than try and hold it. There's not a lot else you can do OP. If it affects toilet training you'll have to deal with that later, but I doubt it will.

Original poster
Nobhobs · 15/07/2019 08:00

My dads taking some annual leave for three of the days ddog is there that I wasn't aware of. So crisis averted.

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 15/07/2019 08:02

Honestly you have to pick the 'best' situation for everyone.

My DH never visited me in hospital earlier this year because we felt it was better for our dog not to be left for longer than he could tolerate without becoming stressed.

I think you need to balance the immediate need with long term and it does sound like your dog is stressed at your mums if he pees and poos because any new place needs you to reinforce where and when he needs to pee (I do this with all new places so I treat him like a puppy again and show him when to pee and where so he has never had an accident in a different house).

Yes you can leave him at yours mums but you know it's too long for him as he toilets in the house. Even with your updates I still wouldn't do it. I also wouldn't put a timid dog (mine is also timid in new situations) in a kennel either so I agree with that. I would pursue a dog sitter with small friendlier dogs even if I had to driver a few hours to drop him off and (DH) pick him up. Then everyone gets all they want with your DH staying, you not worrying, and a dog that doesn't have to try and hold it for many hours.

Obviously it's up to you on leaving him at your mums but you must be concerned it isn't the best thing for him otherwise you wouldn't have posted for 'reassurance'. If it was an emergency for a day then that would be different but for a week then I would only take that option if I honestly could not find another better one and had exhausted every other possibility.

chzarind · 15/07/2019 08:29

Please can people advise on the situation I'm asking about not my dogs life in general. He's fine.

Massive over reaction. Get a dog walker locally to help if and when you need one.

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