Feeling horribly guilty today

[bsmirched]

Yesterday, we had our beloved JRT put down. He was a rescue. We got him 11.5 yrs ago. We think he was 1 -2 years old then. So he was 13 ish.
Over the last few weeks, he suddenly got very old. He lost loads of weight. He stopped attempting the stairs or jumping on the sofa, stopped being excited to get up in the morning, instead waiting for me to pick him up. His breathing was faster and more pronounced iykwim. He stopped barking at the postman.
But he was eating normally and was still happy to wander and have a good sniff about outside. When I got home he'd still come and greet me with a little wag.
2 wks ago, I took him to the vet. She said he'd got a significant heart murmur.
The thing was, we are incredibly broke at the moment as I've only recently returned to work after a year off having treatment for breast cancer, 6 months of which were on half pay so we have nothing spare. We had pet insurance but with a large excess.
Consequently we just didn't have the funds for a battery of tests - even a blood test would have been £150. We scraped together enough for some heart tablets and painkillers to try for a fortnight to see if they made any great difference, but the vet said it could well just be that he was an old boy and everything was starting to fail.
The medication didn't really have any effect - he did once climb the stairs during the fortnight and yesterday was a bit excited to get up, but mostly there was no change and since Wednesday he'd been tearing his fur out in massive chunks.
So the decision was made to have him pts yesterday which I had to borrow the money for. He was sweet and trusting to the very end.
I am heartbroken but today feel so horrendously guilty. What if I could have afforded tests and it was something we could have treated that would have given him quality of life for another year or two? He was my sweet boy and he's dead because I was broke, basically. My vaguely sensible head says I actually wouldn't have put him through loads of tests due to the state he was in even if I'd had plenty of money but guilt is eating me up today.

Thank you.
He was a very handsome boy. I fell in love at first sight when he was on the front of our local paper in need of a home. I rang the rescue kennels and left loads of messages overnight so when I eventually got through the next morning they told me there had been a lot of interest in him 😁

Look I've seen plenty of people drag dogs on and on and it really isn't fair.

Animals know quality not quantity and from what you were describing in the opening paragraph he was getting ready to go.

My old boy is nearly 12. I haven't got thousands to spend on him but realistically I would do very little that was intrusive now. I don't want his last memories to be of him being poked about or having painful tests done.

I think you did the right thing regardless of money. I'm really sorry for your loss - he knew 11.5 lovely years with you.

What a gorgeous boy - how lucky you were to have one another and share all those years of love.

We're about to be in a similar situation with one of our lovely dogs in terms of making a decision.

We're lucky enough to be able to afford treatment but having been down that road before DH and I have agreed that if he starts to deteriorate further we will not subject our lovely boy to a barrage of tests and treatment. The short amount of time it will buy him will be for us, not him and we really don't want him to suffer at all.

It's breaking my heart, but I know it is the right decision.

What a handsome boy. How lucky he was to be loved so much. The better too early than too late thing is so true.

Everyone has been so kind, thank you.

I'm sorry, I haven't read the whole thread but if it's any comfort I was at the other end of it. I had insurance and had to have my guy pts last week. Because we had insurance we could have him opened up and an array of tests done. It would have been wonderful if all of that would have made him better but sadly in the end nothing more could have been done.
If I had no insurance I would have had to have him pts sooner but would have felt guilty like you as I would have been convinced he could have been saved.
Having insurance meant the poor little fella suffered for 3 months and that breaks my heart every second of the day. He was only 6 and the grief in unbelievable. We're all distraught.
They grab our hearts and never let go. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you're feeling a bit stronger.x

@Grassynoel sorry I've only just seen this. Thank you for your kind words, I hope you're doing ok too.

Please don’t feel bad. You loved him and did your best for him. It sounds like he was in pain. You did the right thing. It is devastating but try not to feel guilty. He loved you and you cared for him so well for so long. Grief is natural. It will get easier xx