Young Puppy Support Group

[DuchessDarty]

I’d been looking for one of these but the only puppy support thread currently running is for older puppies. I’ve seen a few threads recently from posters who have new puppies like me, and thought I’d start our own group as I’d love to compare notes. But all welcome!

To kick off -

My pup, DartyPup, is a female poodle cross who is nearly 11 weeks old. Very sweet, friendly, fairly calm, sleeps a good stretch at night in her crate no problem and is happy to play in the garden by herself if I’m in the kitchen/conservatory and we easily have eyes on each other. She has a lot of naps and is doing well with house training.

But- she has the usual puppy traits of being needy and nippy. She loves biting bare toes and has a witching hour in the evening (as another poster aptly describes it!).

I adore the bond we seem to have bit am finding it draining. My children are old enough to be hands on and are keen to be, but their periods of peak energy don’t always correspond with the Pup’s. And when it comes down to it, she often wants me and so will whine if left with them downstairs while I escape for a rest. If they mistakenly leave a door open giving her access to the stairs, she’ll leg it up to find me. A stair gate isn’t an option unfortunately due to the design of our stairs.

Both my kids have never been particularly early risers and I’ve always been secretly pleased about dodging 6am wake up calls ... until DartyPup.

@Whywhywhy1 that really sounds like overtiredness so I totally feel for you as that’s what we’re battling with too. Have you got any toys that are longer so that you could wiggle it about for puppy to bite at whilst also keeping a safe distance?

@Girliefriendlikescake glad you found a daycare, £22 seems okay for a day but it does get expensive doesn’t it when you add it up. Crazy what we do for these dogs!’

I do enforce naps in his crate and he sleeps loads so I don’t know how to overcome anymore tiredness plus he seems to be like that first thing in the morning

It sounds like he’s trying to play - does puppy know ‘sit’ yet? If you teach sit then it gives you something to ask for instead of the biting, which you can then reward. So he bites, you say, no, puppy sit. Puppy sits, possibly with the help of a treat, and gets your attention for a positive reason.

Yes he does know sit and can do without a treat. He can do lay down with a treat. I will keep trying these things.
Maybe my expectations were unrealistic. I thought dpup would want to cuddle sometimes but I never can as it just turns to biting

Grassypup is super bitey too though he seems to be getting the message a little bit (about time). He's 14 weeks old now, we have him 3 weeks. Toilet training is a joke. We're doing all the usual, bringing him out regularly and during the night and often he's fine but today for example, I used tiny pieces of chicken as training rewards when out on the lead and I think it may have caused the excessive pooing. No exaggeration but he pooed 4 times in the house today and 3 times in the garden. Little poo ninja.
Oh and we're still taking turns on the sofa with him in the kitchen. I'm thinking maybe moving his crate to the bottom of the stairs and chancing all of us sleeping in our beds like normal people. Maybe moving the crate a little towards the kitchen each night. He hates being alone though. School starts this week so we'll have more coming and going which I feel will do him good so he'll get used to it.
We got our last little love in the spring so he had to slot in with us coming and going and it was never a problem. Also he toilet trained very quickly.
Basically this little fecker is spoilt rotten!

🤣🤣 grassy you post has made me laugh!! Our pup was a poo ninja for the first 10 days. I kid you not, done says it was 10+!!! I even took him to the vet. There was nothing wrong and it’s now changed to a more modest 3-5!!
I’m hoping the biting dies down soon. I feel like he hates us all sometimes!!!!

Grassy I think chicken can be hit or miss in dogs, I know quite a few dogs that it has ahem undesirable effects on.... I've been surprised how much they poo. Our pup averages at least 5 a day 😳 and for a little dog they're quite big!!

Good night here, think the busy day Ystd def knackered him out. He went from 10-4 then quick loo break and back until 7.40!!

Slow progress with the cat as well (excuse my dressing gown 🤣)

We had a rubbish night. SmileyPup went to sleep at 9.45pm in his crate and then was up at 12am, 2am, 4.30am and then 6.30am. He did a wee or poo each time so obviously needed it but I am so tired. It takes me at least half an hour to fall back to sleep each time so I'm exhausted. I only took him out once as DH took him the other times but it's still disturbed sleep.

Now I've got a day of constantly watching him to stop him weeing in the house. He seems to wee every 10/15 mins sometimes - is that normal? He lasts longer if he's asleep but if awake he wees a lot. I am managing to get a lot of them outside but still quite a few inside yesterday.

I feel this anxious feeling in the morning when I know I've got the day ahead and my DH is back at work tomorrow so I'm alone with SmileyPup and 2 DDs. I'm dreading it to be honest. I used to love evenings when the girls had gone to bed and I could put my feet up and relax and now I'm just wondering what I've done to my nice life

Keepsmiling I feel exactly the same about my life now. No relaxation now. I’m hoping it’s just the puppy phase and it will pass 🤞

Totally normal for them to wee that much, their bladders are super small. It’s absolutely hard work and it does make you anxious but it does pass - it doesn’t feel like it now but soon you’ll have your lovely evenings back only with a lovely dog to snuggle up to and keep you company too. Just keep going, you’ll get there.

SkeletonPup (who unbelievably slept until 8.15!!!) is having her first real walk today! Think we are just going to go to the local field so SkeletonDog can chase his ball and she can have a potter around. Won’t be very long as she’s still so little, 11 weeks today! Hoping DH will come with me on a walk before he goes to work..

Biteypup has a runny tum. Not sure if it's the hot weather, something she's eaten, or the gallon of river water she swallowed when she fell headfirst into the river yesterday I've given her chicken and rice for lunch, so we'll see how that goes.

@Keepsmiling1 I remember that feeling of extreme exhaustion. I was only talking to DH about it yesterday. He said he can't remember it being that bad, but that's probably because he left me to do all the night time wake up calls and the 5am starts I still get that anxious feeling sometimes, but most of the time I can talk myself out of it and realise it's all just a puppy phase and will pass

@Whywhywhy1 It's horrible when they get so bitey and ferocious isn't it? I also thought Biteypup hated me and that was why she was doing it Her mood is very much dictated by how tired she is and we have to ensure she gets LOADS of good sleep to keep her in a non ferocious mood. She is still quite bitey with DH, but I think that's because he doesn't do any of the walking/training/feeding so she doesn't feel she has to be nice to him

Tbh we've got second dog more because my 16 year old was desperate for her own dog and we've thought about another. But I'm really super stressed about it and struggling with the new puppy thing. Don't remember any stress with first pup, bit tired but loved her to bits from day one and enjoyed the challenge! But this is so different I feel I'm going mad. Crying, no sleep, snapping at everyone. That's me not pup. He's going to be a much smaller dog than I thought ( he's a rescue crossbreed so we don't know what he'll be but he's tiny) I don't really like little dogs and although he's sweet I haven't really warmed to him. I am really struggling and keep thinking I can't do this. Really don't want to do this. I'm literally crying and panicking constantly. Knew pup would be hard didn't think I'd feel like this. DH wants him to go back because he's worried about me. Would break DDs heart but she doesn't want her mum having nervous breakdown either.

@Chelsea567 @BiteyMcBiteFace @Whywhywhy1 I know it doesn't help but it is good to know that it's not just me who feels like this. DH absolutely loves him and doesn't understand what I'm anxious about. I felt on the verge of tears a few times today.

I have a toilet question. At the moment we are taking SmileyPup out a lot and using bells on the door as we leave. Sometimes he goes (and we give him lots of praise) and others he doesn't. We want to introduce a word which he associates with going the toilet but I have no idea when we should say it. If we say it as we ring the bell and then he doesn't go it isn't linked with anything? So do we say it as he's doing it (or does this distract him?) or after he's done it? What if he doesn't go - do we just keep him on our knee and try again in 5 mins? The problem is he sniffs so much that I could end up holding him on my knee for ages as he didn't need a wee just a sniff!

Lastly, we want to put up a playpen attached to his crate and start leaving him for a few mins at a time. I would need to leave a puppy pad down for him in the pen but does this set them back with training? Will he be confused because up to now we have been taking him outside and now we're putting a pad down? He had pads at the breeders so should be used to them.

Sorry for all the questions!!

Sounds really tough Chelsea. I just don’t think even a pup should be this bitey. You can’t be in a room with him or he’ll just go for you no matter what you’re doing.

Sorry I forgot one thing! When you take them out to wee what do you do? Sometimes he thinks it's playtime and I wonder if he doesn't go because he's so busy playing. Do you just ignore them until they go? But what if they don't?

@Keepsmiling1 we started of by saying “be quick” just after our pup had toileted and then gave her a big fuss. She then started to think that “be quick” meant come for a big fuss so we had to start again.
We then started to say “hurry up” just as she was finishing and that seems to have clicked. She will now perform quite quickly if we say “hurry up”. Never thought we’d get there to be honest!!
Not sure I’d bother with the puppy pad. When we first brought our puppy home she’d pee as soon as her feet touched carpet and I think that maybe because the breeder used puppy pads.
Can the pen go on hard floor so you can clean up any accidents? I guess if it’s going on carpet you might need the pads.
It’s all so hard at the beginning. Our pup is 14 weeks now and we spent the first 2 or 3 weeks containing her in the kitchen. I remember really missing my relaxing evenings. It has got better though, we can now sit in the living room and watch TV. She will sleep by herself in her crate in the kitchen for short periods now (although she still has a nervous breakdown if I go upstairs ).
It will get better (people said that to me on here and it really has). It’s not perfect but I feel like myself a bit more now.
Chin up!

@Keepsmiling1 didn’t see your last post...yes just mooch around not really paying pup any attention. I just kind of walk slowly up and down as though enjoying the view of my not at all interesting back yard!!

Chelsea567 I recognise a lot of what you posted as being similar to how I felt. I found having a puppy very hard. I didn't like it and it just seemed that everyone around me loved playing and training theirs and I was simply going through the motions. It took a long time for me to bond with him and yes my DH saw how upset I was most days at the beginning and often asked if I wanted to send him back.

I look back now and still would not do it again but BiteyDog is now much loved and part of the family. A far cry from how I felt for many weeks.

Evening all, haven’t had a chance today to catch up with the posts. We have had a busy few days.

Had a rubbish night with pup last night which feels like a step back after a few longer stretches. He woke every couple of hours and I brought him out every time as felt he hadn’t done a poo for a while and might need one.
He is 14 weeks now, we have had him two weeks. Was planning for last night to be my last on the floor but thinking I might stick it out for another few nights. DH doesn’t sleep that well and I’d be conscious of disturbing him if I was up and down constantly as he leaves early for work as it is.

I’ve also been feeling extreme cabin fever with the kids. Lots of bickering and I’ve a short fuse due to the tiredness. I can’t think of much to keep them occupied. They are actually being remarkably good given how little we are doing but it’s still hard going.

I have completely fallen for our puppy, but I have been feeling a sense of claustrophobia today. Was thinking DH and I haven’t had a date night for a while but can’t work out what we would do with the pup. Presumably the babysitter would keep an eye on him too?! When can they go for sleepovers at relatives houses? When there reliably sleeping through?

A woman stopped me today to tell me how sweet he was. Then asked how he was sleeping and proceeded to tell me the sleep doesn't settle til they’re around 1. I think my face must have expressed my alarm as she started trying to reassure me.

We had our first puppy class last night which was good. He is getting good at little bits of training. He had his puppy groom today which was very cute. He is such a sweetie. WHen he starts sleeping he will be perfect!!

Thanks Bitey it's nice to know I'm not alone. Am seriously thinking about my options and strangely as soon as I think he might be going back I seem to chill out a bit and don't mind him so much. But if I think he's here to stay I'm literally having an anxiety crying attack. Doesn't help that my wonderful lab who's 5 doesn't like him and is afraid of him and keeps getting up and hiding behind me when he wants to play with her, which is all the time! Poor DDog. He stands and yaps at her and she's very sad. She was a fab pup slept quietly in crate from day one, didn't bark til she was about 10 months old! This one yaps and screeches for a past time and I hate yappy little dogs! And now I've got one. 😢also the cat has buggered off except for food.

That sounds full on Chelsea. Hope he Les down soon. Could it be the food he is on?

My little one isn’t doing great with being left alone. When I take the kids up to bed in the evening he just sits at the stair gate (he is in the kitchen) crying. Even if he has been playing happily he stops as soon as we leave. I keep hoping that he will relax enough to carry on playing but he doesn’t. I’ve been popping him in his crate a couple of times a day and just flirting around doing jobs. He isn’t too bad then. But he just doesn’t seem to realise he can play when he is on his own.

We left him alone in the house for half an hour today in his crate. We couldn’t hear him cry when we left or returned but no idea what he did or was like. I’ve got a puppy monitor arriving tomorrow, but in a way I feel ignorance might be best!

@SunnyUpNorth we are going to start leaving him alone in the next few days. I'm dreading it! There is so much conflicting advice - some saying never leave them alone until they are happy no matter how long it takes and others saying just let them cry that I don't know what to do for the best!

I'm off to bed now and am praying for a better night than last night!

Chelsea we looked after a rescue dog for a week about two years ago, the plan was if it went well we would keep her. The poor dog was a nightmare, she hadn't been socialised or toilet trained and I felt completely out of my depth. At the end of the week I was being physically sick with the stress and had to give her back despite my dd sobbing 😭

It was hard but my own mental health is important and actually she wasn't the right dog for us.

It feels so different this time with our puppy, it feels much easier. I'm not sure if it's just I'm in a better place or that actually he is the right dog for us or both.

What I'm saying in a clumsy way is if it's really not right and you're struggling so much then you have to do what's right for you and in the end the dog as well.

Girlie thanks for your post. Tbh the little chap is only 9 weeks old and was born at the rescue so is pretty friendly and is trying hard to be clean considering. But he hates the crate and won't settle down except on a lap! And so loud and shrill. He's quite sweet really but he's just not doing it for me atm. Sounds mean but I can't seem to help how I feel