Puppy and 18 month old....madness??

[Jaz32]

Hi we have been researching breeds and considering a dog or puppy for a few years now but work was an issue. I'm no longer working so I'm around all day. We have 3 children 10, 7 & 18 months they all love dogs and are used to being around my parents two dogs. The 10year old has high functioning autism and anxiety and we feel a dog could be beneficial to him in particular as he has a huge love of animals.

I grew up with dogs but this would be our first dog of our own so I'm anxious to get it right with training and everything. We can't rescue due to young toddler so we are probably looking at a puppy which obviously means toilet training, dealing with chewing and probably crate training. My OH is very house proud which I know could cause issues with toilet accidents, paw prints and hairs potentially destructive behaviour etc etc.

We are likely to get a poodle cross probably a golden retriever cross or Labrador cross due to them often being used as therapy pets and generally having a good reputation as family friendly dogs. I'm researching breeders and health testing etc

How much of a nightmare is it going to be training a puppy with a toddler around? Tell me honestly do people manage or am I being stupid considering it? I know there is a huge amount of work involved and there are a lot of negatives.... are there positives too? I've being going round in circles on this for a long time lol. Thanks in advance

I would say no. We had a dog before DS came along. 18 month difference. Completely normal puppy and then seemed to turn into a fear aggressive adult dog. He seemed happier before DS could walk but once he could he became very wary. We ended up scared to have him in the same room as DS even though he enjoyed going out with his dog walker every day.

We would love another dog but not until DS, or anyone else who comes along, is of school age. They are a lot of work!

Haven't read all replies.

We got our labrador when my kids were 3,6 and 9 months..
You need to be ready to put in some serious work to make it happy and safe for everyone.

We did training class weekly and continue to do training at home now she is nearly one.
Stair gates are your friends - separate kids and puppy when needed.
Gone are the days of going out all day for baby groups and lunch etc. We leave our girl maximum of 3 hours at the moment so it's either dog friendly outings or short one. She is only just out of her crate and doing really well with the run of the house so could possibly extend time left but we would rather not.

Loads of people rubbished our plan for a puppy but I feel pretty proud of us. The first few months were hard work but its come together brilliantly and I wouldn't be without my dog now.

i also want to say i really do not recognise all the horror stories of puppy years.
we have never had any problems...crate at night from first night, had maybe 1-2 nights of crying
firstt 2-3 weeks vigilence over watching to see they need to go outside, but all ours were house trained by 4 months and using the dog flap.
we did puppy classes with all of them and from day one did sit, stay and recall training at home.
you learn not to leave stuff on the floor and puppy has its own toys.
we also never really bought into this never leaving them alone thing, so life very much continued on as normal, and puppies have always fitted into our lives.
our dogs seem very happy, content, never had separation anxiety
all as younger dogs would settle into their crates with a toy or chew when we went out.
we definitely continued going to playgroups etc ....

I guess it's hard to know if you will end up having a nightmare story or success story. I think I'll prob end up waiting at least another year maybe more going by the majority of replies. I'd hate to get a puppy and then regret it and find it all too much as it wouldn't be fair.
My oldest is on at me daily for one now and I keep saying it's too expensive, too much of a commitment, no more spur of moment days out etc so I know in reality they are valid reasons and we are best to wait. Thanks for the replies.

Give your DC a date when you'll get a dog whether it's one year, two years or when youngest is 3yo or whatever you choose. Only problem then is you'll have to stick to it🙈

We have a lab puppy and DSs are 9 and 10.
They get nipped every day. I can’t imagine having a puppy and a toddler. I second everything Costa says. Your attention needs to be on the puppy constantly so where is the toddler in all of this? When you are out in the garden every 30 minutes or clearing up wee and poo? When you’re trying to train the puppy? It’s so full on. I’d never have been able to do it.

I couldn't understand the problem with puppies. We'd had a least six over many years - all easily assimilated into the family. What was the difficulty? They are cute, they are fun and training's not that hard. That was until we got our current dog. She is now 2 and a half, a wonderful dog and I wouldn't be without her, but, my god she was hard work. She needed so much attention, she peed for Britain, she was into everything. The only peace was when she was asleep, but she didn't do much of that either. And I have never had such a bitey pup either. Of course now she is (almost) perfect, not that I'm biased or anything. We have always had 2 dogs in the past, and I usually wait 2 years before getting another pup. We are not getting another now. She will have to stay a singleton. I couldn't go through all that again.
It would have been impossible if , at the same time, I had had to care for young children. If we had had a small child it would have been ripped to shreds unless they were kept separate all the time. So in brief, yes, you may be lucky and get an easy pup, you may not. There is no way of telling.
Also, if you want to guarantee no shedding, a pure bred is the only way to go. A lot of poo crosses shed like mad. There are other non shedding dog breeds as well, of course.
Being overly house proud and having a dog. Hmm, well I have never had a dog that doesnt make some mess, and I have usually had low or non shedding types like Yorkies, shih tzu's and now a poodle. They all seemed (or seem) to like rolling in disgusting things, wallowing in muddy puddles and leaving chewed up stuff around the place.
Yes, it probably would be madness.

Are there any autism dog charities that you could approach? I’m in Ireland and we have charities that provide labradoodles and labradors for children with autism.

We got a puppy when my kids were 2 & 4. Although they were young they were used to dogs and knew how to behave around them, and the dog is now very much part of the family. I did a lot of sitting on the floor playing with kids and distracting the dog, and we spent a lot of time in the garden. The dog is now about 16 months and relatively well trained, although there definitely been ups and downs with that. If you go for it be prepared to put in the hours, and stair gates are your friend!