Considering getting a dog but not sure

[KeepSmiling83]

Hi

We are a family of 4 with two children (4 and almost 8) and are thinking about getting a dog. I didn't grow up with pets so have no experience and as a result have always said no to a dog because of the responsibility it involves. However my husband had dogs growing up and is desperate for one as is my eldest child.

I work part time (every morning until midday) so would be home in the afternoons while the children are at school. However we have after school clubs and things so would be in and out during the week and Saturday mornings. I would never get a dog and then leave it alone all the time so don't know if our life style would suit having one? My friend is a dog walker and boards them so I know she would have the dog when we go on holiday abroad (1-2 times a year).

I know puppies involve a lot of time and training but don't know how long that period lasts? Do the positives outweigh the negatives? I read so much about how they become part of the family which makes all the hard bits worth it but having never experienced it I'm finding it hard to make a decision. Basically I'm looking for a balanced view about getting a dog!

I am not thinking about doing it immediately - maybe in the next year so have plenty of time to research and think it over.

Any views gratefully received!

[BiteyShark]

would most of you not get a dog if you had your time again?

I adore my dog and 100% glad we got him.

But it has been hard work and we have been unlucky as he has many accidents and illnesses which have been hard to manage. I don't regret him but I think we would have thought again had we known what it was going to be like.

[missbattenburg]

To reinforce what has already been said, Battendog is about 20 months old now and it's only in the last couple of months I've felt like I am seeing the (almost) adult dog and he has steadied up a bit. Prior to this his behaviour was still pretty demanding and puppyish.

I absolutely believe getting him was the right decision for me because spending time with the dog, training, walking, playing are all things I enjoy and so would choose to spend my time doing them. If I didn't enjoy them it would be a massive ball ache.

In a typical day I must spend something like 3-4 hours dedicated to the dog. 2 x 1 hr walks plus feeding, training, playing, brushing, fussing, toiletting etc. Doing all that means he sleeps or calmly mooches for most of the rest of the time - but if I didn't do it, he would make his own entertainment and it would not be good.

He also restricts what I can do. A day out is a bigger deal because he either comes with me and I have to think about how he will deal with it, will the crowd be too much, how and where can he toilet and drink water etc, what I will do with him if I need to toilet or have a drink etc. Or he stays at home and I have to arrange for someone to take care of him.

If I wasn't already a dog person who tends to enjoy things that dogs enjoy etc, then this massive compromise in my life would really get to me, I think.

In short, the positives only outweigh the negatives IF sharing your life with a different and demanding species is, in itself, a strong positive for you. If you are only in it for the snuggles, then there are a lot of negatives that you will have to deal with, just for a cuddle in the evening, iyswim

[dreichuplands]

OP I know people who have got dogs as a family and are really happy they have got one and I know people like myself who were sure it was the right decision at the time but wouldn't do it again.
All you can do is research it and if you go ahead hope for the best.
I need to say my dog loves us and isn't terrible I just don't enjoy having him much and neither does DH. Our dc adore him though.

[oakleaffy]

Re dogs...we had a wonderful Lurcher from RSPCA..son was 9, and it was just him and me.
I had never had a dog growing up, but had walked them for neighbours.
Our Lurcher was 16 weeks when we had her, found on the streets at 12 weeks and needed house training diligently..I set the alarm clock all through the night, and took her out every two hours.. even with that diligence there were wees, but only ever one poo.

I loved training her..but what I didn't bank on were the attempted thefts from 'Travellers'..that was THE downside.

When she was 18 months we got a Whippet, who took to my son immediately...so we had a dog each..except it was obviously me who did the walking/poo picking/clearing up of the odd vomits.

It was wonderful...but the biggest downside was when they eventually died...We were heartbroken...me especially, as by that stage son was a young adult, with partner living own life.
Yes, dogs are a massive tie, but they are great companions, if you enjoy training them , it is fun too.
Getting the 'right' breed is essential, We were very lucky, as novice dog owners, the RSPCA suggested the Lurcher, and she was a perfect dog...couldn't fault her or wish for better...
If you get the right dog, it makes life much easier.

[missbattenburg]

At a dog shelter I have done some work at, the lurchers were often...

a) not put on the website

and

b) moved offsite to foster homes asap

Because they attracted thieves like no other breed. But then I am in Lincolnshire where there is lots of wide, flat land suitable for hare coursing

[KeepSmiling83]

We have decided to think it over for a while longer and reconsider next year. In the meantime we are going to try looking after a dog for friends when they go on holiday (so for a week) to see what it is like having a dog 24/7. We are also going to carry on using Borrow My Doggy.

Thank you for all the insights and advice - it is appreciated!

[Tatiebee]

Puppies are very hard work, it's like having a new baby in the house! I think a retired greyhound would be perfect for your situation. They're generally fine being left for a few hours and are so low maintenance. I have two and although they'd never lived indoors before I adopted them, we've never had to do any house training with them.

[Singlenotsingle]

A dog isn't just a generic dog.You'd need to choose carefully what breed you want. Do your research. Springers and cockers are highly energetic, and need lots of attention and walks. Other breeds are less demanding. Some breeds are easier to toilet train than others. Some are good with cats/children; some aren't. My dog doesn't like walks but likes to race round the garden. Some howl and cry when left alone. Some don't mind.

[adaline]

@KeepSmiling83 please just remember that a settled and trained adult dog is absolutely nothing like a puppy in terms of the work involved.

You have to go through a lot of training, frustration and sleepless nights to get from pup to calm adult - and in some breeds it can take a good 2-3 years.

[BiteyShark]

Agree with adaline. Looking after your friends dog will give you an idea of the tie of a dog e.g. walks, feeding, having to think about whether the dog has been left too long etc. But it won't give you a sense of the bitey, peeing pooing puppy nor the stroppy stubborn teenager who runs off or doesn't play nicely with other dogs.

Personally I would trawl the boards and read the threads where people are posting asking for help. This would give you an idea of all the things you 'might' come across.

Getting a laid back puppy and one who only tests only a few boundaries as a teenage wound be a breeze. However, the reality which is shown on these boards, is that there is often something that you need to work on, whether that's excessive biting as a puppy, fearfulness, reactivity, anxiety being left or running off with recall.

I think if you know and are prepared to work through any issues because you so want that adult companion then go for it.

[AJPTaylor]

Tbf if you based decisions on what you read on mumsnet, nobody would have kids!

[BiteyShark]

AJPTaylor but unlike children lots of young dogs end up being sold online due to 'change in circumstances' so I don't think it takes too much imagination to think that quite a few families think it's easy then when it isn't don't want to put in any effort.

[adaline]

Not really comparable is it @AJPTaylor?

Dogs get rehomed far too often because people don't realise what they're taking on and can't cope with the demands of a dog 24/7.

[rookiemere]

But if OP doesn't borrow a dog or trial it she'll be none the wiser .

A trial period will give very good insight into the planning that's required when you have a dog and the logistical stuff, in the same way that looking after your toddler/children nieces and nephews would do for DCs ( it's a wonder the world ever manages repopulation really ).

It will also give a sense of how much DCs want to get involved ( would never have got ddog if I'd realised it would just be an additional chore to nag DS 13 to do anything with him) and how much DH will be doing.

[Wolfiefan]

If you don’t really really want a dog then don’t do it.
A week of care will be a novelty for the family. Everyone will help out.
It’s the day in and day out need to get up early, walk and deal with training and inability to go out for too long. It’s the constant working things round the dog. And the mud. Dear god the mud. Not to mention the puppy chewing and peeing and dealing with minor ailments. (Ear infection meant cleaning out the ear three times a day for weeks!)
I love my dog but she’s bloody hard work. And I found a dog hair in my tea this morning

[hippermiddleton]

The thing is, once you're a dog owner and you know what a great bond you develop, despite all the poo/walks/kennels/wrecked shoes, etc, you just hate the thought of a dog being handed into kennels at 8 months because it hasn't been the Lassie dream the owners expected. I'd rather put a wavering friend off getting a dog, than persuade them to get one and then regret it.

My DN was staying this weekend, and she's been nagging my sister for a 'sausage dog' - we made her come with us on all the walks (she managed one) and supervise the puppy's toilet training, inc poo bags. She got a lot of sofa snuggles in return but I'm not so sure she's that keen now...

[adaline]

But if OP doesn't borrow a dog or trial it she'll be none the wiser .

Looking after a settled adult dog is nothing like raising a puppy. Adult dogs are generally happy to be left for good chunks of time, will behave nicely on a walk, don't wake up several times a night and don't eat your furniture or pee on your floor when you've just taken them out to the toilet minutes previously!

They also (as a general rule) don't nip, jump, chew, bite holes in your clothes or have needle sharp teeth to nip your children with! All things that are par for the course with a pup and all things people struggle with for a good few months. It's also something people rehome for - they see normal puppy nipping and mouthing as a sign of aggression and get rid.

[Wolfiefan]

I hope you also mentioned the back problems etc.

[AngelaJ18]

Greyhounds make good pets if you’re considering a rescue. They’re usually very clean and contrary to popular opinion they don’t require much in the way of exercise. Two ten minute walks a day will suffice, if you want to go further you have to gradually increase the distance. An upside is that they’re usually around five years old when they retire from racing so you skip over puppy behaviour/training. Downside is that they start off quite timid because they’ve never seen a home environment so they need careful handling and lots of reassurance to begin with.

If you’re not sure, really take the time to think about it. Research different breeds, remember ‘working’ breeds (collies, terriers, spaniels etc) require a lot of exercise & stimulation. Other breeds carry genetic health conditions (Labradors, all short nosed dogs). Remember it’s like adopting a child, they’re a long term commitment with needs that have to be considered.

[mydogisthebest]

My niece borrows dogs through "borrowmydoggy". She often has dogs for a weekend or longer. Can you do that?

DH had 2 dogs when we met (I had only ever had cats). 39 years on we have always had at least 1 dog and although I could not imagine life without one dogs can be hard work.

We have always had a biggish long haired breed so lots of walking and grooming. I am the main dog walker as DH works. I love walking my dogs most of the time but wet days are not much fun with a long haired breed.

We walk for at least an hour morning and evening so on a wet day we get home and are all soaked. I look like I have just stepped out of the shower. It takes 2 hours minimum to dry my dogs. Then of course if it is still raining on the 2nd walk all the above is repeated.

We never leave our dogs for more than 4 hours so if we want to go to see a show and eat we have to take them to a dog sitter or have someone come to us.

Our dogs go to a dog sitter when we go away (one is a rescue and just would not be happy in kennels) and it can work out expensive.

We have to plan trips out or holidays well in advance to make sure our dog sitter is free to look after them.

Almost all of our dogs have been rescues, almost all abused in some way so have been hard work but the 2 dogs we got as puppies were just as hard if not harder.

When it pours all day or, even worse, snows or on the odd occasion one of the dogs needs the garden in the night I think "no more dogs" but in honesty I know we will have more.

[IncrediblySadToo]

Another place to see about sharing/caring for a dog is a charity called cinnamon trust - it’s for people who need help with their dog so they don’t have to rehome them (or board them if it’s a short term illness etc), whether that’s through illness, disability or old age etc.

Unfortunately it’s not very active in all areas, but it’s fabulous in others

Obviously you could speak to your local vets took, they often know people who are struggling to cope with their dogs.

[greyest]

Another greyhound vote here. I got mine (my first ever dog) when he was 3, he's 6 now and he's wonderful. Never destroyed anything in the house, very polite, loves car journeys, loves to play fetch with a tennis ball, loves a cuddle on the couch, doesn't smell 'doggy', he DOES shed but not badly, oh and he never barks so is a very quiet house guest! I did a bit of alone-training with him in the first week and he is fine to be left for four hours a day while I'm at work - he's a total lazybones. If you live near a lot of cats then it's best to ask for one with low prey-drive (there are some great ones that plain refuse to run at the tracks), but aside from that they're very easy dogs.

[KeepSmiling83]

Thanks again for all the replies.

I suppose I am trying to do all I can to find out what it's like having a dog. I know having a dog to stay for a week isn't what it's like having one all the time but I'm hoping it will give me an idea of how restrictive it is which is one of my biggest worries.

To be honest, I'm not sure what else I can do to prepare myself. I am reading up on different breeds, researching all the costs involved and trying to spend time with a variety of different dogs (have met a Labrador and Cavapoo on Borrow My Doggy so far). What did other people who had never had a dog do before they got one? How did they prepare themselves? Like I said, we aren't going to do anything this year now and it may be that we never do. I just don't want to miss out on the opportunity to possibly be a dog owner because of all the negative when by all accounts there are lots of positives too.

[BiteyShark]

What did other people who had never had a dog do before they got one? How did they prepare themselves?

I had some idea from having always had dogs as a child. However, that was still nothing like being responsible for a dog myself.

I looked at all the negatives and made sure I was happy with them e.g. I could walk the dog every day, do training for at least a year, grooming every night etc.

I scanned the internet for training tips, breeds, dog behaviour etc. I went to discover dogs at crufts to meet different breeds and talk to the owners.

I researched costs and made sure I could afford dog walkers/daycare, boarding, insurance etc on top of the usual items.

Basically I wanted to be sure as I could be that I could care for a dog for the next 15 or so years.

[FurrySlipperBoots]

Puppies bite!! That was quite a shock when we had our first family dog. I was 11 and desperate for puppy, we got him and he sunk his needle sharp teeth into me at every opportunity. As did my current dog when she was a pup. It's easier to deal with as an adult, but not pleasant! Shes lovely now she's grown up but it took a full year. There are definitely cons to be considered. I think you're doing the right thing giving it some time and getting to know other dogs first. Maybe you could approach RSPCA or Dogs Trust if you have a local kennels, and see if you could volunteer as a dog walker for them?