What do I do to stop by 13yo from being bitten

[disneyspendingmoney]

She grabs the dog roughly and it gets pissed off and growls.

I've asked her nicely not to do it.
I've offered her a bribe not to do jt
I've given her a telling off and not to do it.
I've lost my shit and ranted not to do it

It doesn't get through

Something bad is going to happen soon and the dog will pay the price. I've told her that if the dog bites her the dog gets pts, it's not getting through. I'm at my wit's end

I'm seriously pissed off with my DD for not listening

It's even more complicated than that, the dogs (there is two of them) belong to my X who isn't in a position to have them, also the dds are worried for the dogs safety if the go to my X The SW suggested rehoming them.

But after starting this thread and thinking about it dd1 gets the dog worked up just after contact, but funnily not the other dogs who is much more relaxed about stuff.

It it's me bring hypersensitive, because all I hear is the aggressive growl snarling when I'm not in the same room.

It boils down to me keeping the dcs safe as I've had a lot if bolkickibg from social services over safeguarding the children because of X's behaviour and I'd be very deep in shit again if one of them gets badly bitten because they are being a twat to a dog.

The SW may not be interested in the dog per se but your awareness that your daughter behaves differently after contact could be worth mentioning. Is she deliberately being overbearing - pushing the boundaries and releasing unpleasant feelings in herself or is if more like she is overwhelmed and is bursting with emotions of all sorts and not managing them well?

If contact is having a negative impact that should probably be mentioned so she can get the help she needs.

Sorry. I know I am derailing

Actually, thus has proven to be quite useful. On Sunday the fig growled and snapped because she was "aggressively" cuddling the dog when the dog didn't want it. But thus was not long after contact with X, so she probably wants some affection of some sort, but not from me, cos I'm part of this fucked up situation. Where as the dogs are just the dogs.

Bless her wee heart.

Contact can be extremely confusing as I am sure you know and it does sound like doggy is bearing the brunt of her emotion. Interesting that the doesn’t bother the other, more placid dogs. So she is maybe seeking a response of some sort. She wants some sort of reciprocity even if actually it’s negative.

Someone above gave the excellent idea of having dog training lessons which your daughter takes responsibility for. That would be worth looking at. Or taking just that dog out for walks? Something which builds their trust.

I do think the training is a good idea and a trip back to the dogs trust as a refresher is good idea. One on one, dd1 and ddog2 could go together both could learn something and it could be some good bonding for both

In the short term you need to treat DD like you would a toddler and not leave her alone with the dog.

Long term the training sounds like a great idea.