Wanting a dog when your husband doesn’t.

[Jaynie27]

Nearly 5 months ago we lost our 14 year old cocker spaniel. He was basically my baby and as I’m unable to work, spent virtually all day, every day with him. I never thought I’d want another dog after he’d gone but I just feel so empty and desperately want a puppy. Husband is adamant we’re not having one and gets annoyed when I bring up the subject. I’m so bloody miserable without a dog. Any experiences of it getting easier without one gratefully received as there’s very, very little chance of him backing down and I would of course want any new dog to be wanted by us both. Sorry impossible situation really, but I’m starting to resent him for his decision 🙁 thanks for reading x

Same here snobby, DCs would love a dog. But I've no faith that teens will do or be around for the care, cleaning, walking so - Nope. Im not taking solo responsibility.

We've never had a dog tho so there's nothing for them to 'miss' in that respect, thankfully

He’s said he doesn’t think he can go through the pain of losing one again. We were lucky with our cocker he was 14 and 7 months when we had to have him pts. He keeps saying we may not be that lucky this time. I honestly thought I’d never want another dog, no dog could replace my boy etc but I genuinely believe you can’t just switch those feelings off. I’m not looking to replace Sam, just have a new member of the family.

The idea of being a dog sitter is very appealing. He wouldn’t mind them in the house at all so is possibly an option

That sounds more positive, Jaynie. And maybe in time he'll want to give a dog a home again.

What about fostering? Lots of rescues and shelters need people to foster dogs. It gets them out of the kennel (freeing up space for another dog to be helped), gets them used to living in a family home, so makes them more adoptable. But you know they are not staying so you know you are getting them back on their feet to give them a good life but you are not committing to them.

Fostering is a fab idea. Just hope I could bring myself to let them go when the time came! Thank you for all your suggestions. It’s comforting to know I can have contact with dogs before husband is hopefully ready for one of our own.

Animals are a massive tie, and tbh I think it’s not unusual for someone to not want another one when the existing ones pass on.

I always had pets, dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, rabbits etc etc and they were all loved by me. But as the small animals died off I didn’t get any more because I just hated that they don’t live long enough iyswim. And then there was the mess they left.

When my cats died, both when they were seventeen, it took me a year to decide to adopt another one from a rescue, but sadly she was hit by a car and killed just five months after we brought her home and I seriously started to rethink having any more. Toyed with the idea for a while but then I was diagnosed with a life-limiting illness and I sometimes have to go into hospital etc at short notice so getting someone to look after a cat would be difficult. Same with birds. So for now although i desperately want another pet it just isn’t pheasible for me at the moment and actually I’m beginning to think that they are in fact too much of a tie and I might not get one even when the time is right.

The cinnamon trust are always looking for people to help. They look after elderly and ill peoples pets when the owner is in hospital.

The cinnamon trust are always looking for people to help. They look after elderly and ill peoples pets when the owner is in hospital.

What a lovely idea. I hate seeing animal up for a adoption because their owner has gone into hospital.

Could you start up a little business for doggy daycare/boarding? Loads of people want to put their dog into a home environment rather than kennels when they go away on holiday, and it pays quite well too

+MamaDane I thought at first you said "find a new hubby" and thought finally a sensible suggestion

Another here that thinks offering doggie daycare could perhaps work for you.
I know it’s not the same but you still get that bond with them. I’m usually at home and also now look after others dogs. I absolutely love it, lots of fun with no commitment including financial. I even get paid for it.

It's been five months since you list your dog Sam after over 14 years . I can understand why you feel the need to have a new addition to the family - our house is empty the moment as our dog is having an op and that's bad enough .
Our previous dog died at aged 17 and I just couldn't face having another dog at once- it was six years before I was offered our present little dog . In the meantime I dog walked for friends . It's encouraging that your husband may not object to a regular day care dog visitor though I get the feeling that you would love a dog 24/7 . Dog day care would be the perfect compromise for both of you . Who knows - it might heal the pain of loss somewhat for you both xxxx

A dog is such a big deal you cant enforce it on your OH, Sadly I am also in thos position so no more dogs foe me

If he doesn't mind the commitment of having a dog again and it is just the fear of grieving another loved pet, time might change his mind.

Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all comes to mind, maybe leave it for a few months before bringing up again.

I grew up with dogs, but DH is adamant we cannot have one. My teenagers and I started volunteering for local rescue which takes in dogs from Romania.

Hi I’m the OP and have just seen this thread has been commented on. As an update, 9 months after losing our cocker spaniel, we brought our new pup home. It’s been a bit of a shock to the system having a puppy again 😳, but he’s such a lovely natured boy and is doing really well with us. We’re both thrilled to have him here 😁

Oh he is lovely OP! A happy ending! What made your DH change his mind?

Thank you! Yes he’s a little star 😁. I think time did it in the end tbh. He just wasn’t ready straight after we lost Sam so I just waited. Eventually he decided the joy a dog would bring us was worth the inevitable loss. Adding another picture, one of many 😂

Loving that he has his place on the sofa already! So pleased for you that DH changed his mind

Gorgeous pup!

😂 yes, it didn’t take him long to settle in! Thanks both, I know I’m def biased but we think he’s very cute x

What are border terriers like in terms of personality? I need a smaller dog for our 70s!

This is our first BT WheelDecide so only speaking from very limited experience! He’s got such a lovely, placid nature. Very (very!) sociable with people and dogs, and even likes cats. His training is going well but his recall is dreadful at the moment. We’re working on that though. Having previously had a standoffish cocker, his friendliness towards everyone is a lovely surprise.

Sounds amazing!