Thoughts please (Still v delicate with grief so please be gentle)

[Sillysallys]

You had (or have) the worlds most beautiful dog. She/he is your absolute world and is your faultless shadow for 8(ish) years.

Your world collapses unexpectedly with no warning as they are diagnosed with terminal cancer resulting in such sad, raw, shattering life-changing loss that breaks you.

Would you buy a (related - would be niece or nephew) puppy of the same breed from the same bloodline and highly accredited (by KC) breeder?

Is the illness linked genetically/hereditary?
Would you risk it - is it even a risk?

(I am sorry if this doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’ll try to re-word it in the morning)

My sympathy, I lost mine end of last year. To be fair, different circumstances because she had had some issues and it was kind of expected, but still distressing. I have to confess to telling myself that Spotdog would like me to look after another dog, since I was so good to her!

We did get another dog of the same breed, but looks completely different and to be honest I don't spend much time comparing them, just concentrate on the new one. Maybe I'm quite hard hearted, but also I think I'd done a fair bit of grieving for her before she died. Do still think about her though, remembering all her naughtinesses mostly!

Not sure about the cancer issue, its not necessarily hereditary, could be environmental or just plain bad luck, would be worth further research as discussed on pp. Would I risk it? Well I'm not great fan of KC breeding in general (although some breeders seem to be good), so would probably have a look around for something else, but unless your research picks up something there is probably not a huge risk.

Have just looked at the Dog Breed Health site that Myranium mentioned and it is very well known for this breed 😢...and so the tears start again

Will come back here when my act is ‘together’!

Oh bless you. Will be here if you need a hand to hold.

My heart dog died last year, I was heart broken and it went on for months, I thought there was something wrong with me.

I got a puppy of the same breed but a girl and different colour so totally different looking. I just love the breed. I still miss my boy though

I think I’d be hesitant to get the same blood line incase of a heridatry issue.

for you

I lost my heart dog four years ago . Was forced ( I look back thankfully) to wait until after an upcoming trip to wait a while before getting a new dog . We were six months with no dog (horrible but retrospectively necessary) we then got the same breed as we love them but a completely different colour . New dog is utterly different from heart dog . Still wonderful but not even a bit the same in character. Sometimes I find this hard and other times I'm glad . I'm not sure it would have felt right for me if he'd been the same . At first I found it strange but now I'm actually glad as it separates them and makes them each their own dog . Please take time to grieve whatever you decide and know that I'm sending much love to you at this difficult time.

If you feel guilty it's too soon. I lost my dog a month ago and I'm still devastated and depressed. I couldn't begin to contemplate another dog because the only dog I want is him and currently I don't know if I'll ever have another so I'm not committing myself to anything with DH it the DCs and you shouldn't either. Just give it time, you'll know when it's the right time.

I’m so sorry, it’s heart breaking 💐

I haven’t had another since my Spaniel died. She was very much my heart dog.

My life isn’t conducive to having a dog right now, but there are quite a few breeds I like. I love (white) Golden Retrievers and always thought I’d have one, one day. I also really like a whole host of others. But when I see a spaniel, my heart melts. As much as I’d like one of each of the others...🤣 a Spaniel just feels right 🤷🏻‍♀️ However, I’d get a totally different colour. After all these years it still upsets me seeing ‘my girl’ randomly online or on greeting cards etc. I couldn’t cope with one that looked similar.

As for your actual question 🤣 IF I was buying a pup I’d do a LOT of research into whether it’s hereditary or not, if there’s any reasonable evidence that it is I’d want background on any potential pup.

However, I will get a bitch pup from a rescue and take my chances with her background & health. I know that might lead onto hefty vet bills and losing her young, but I’d know she’d had a good life she might otherwise have not. I’m NOT saying you or anyone else should do that, it’s just what’s right for me this time.

Knowing my luck I’ll end up with a Jack Russel St Bernard Goofball because some friend is being transferred overseas and no one else will take them 😖🤣

Chap. I’m sorry 💐. It’s so hard isn’t it x

If you feel guilty it's too soon

I can’t agree with that as a blanket statement though. I lost my girl several years ago and I STILL feel guilty about even thinking about getting another. It’s not why I haven’t got one, but it’s definitely still a strong feeling. I think I’ll always feel guilty, like I’ve replaced her... I still miss her so much and wish I could have a ‘do over’ with her 😢

Thank you

What’s the breeding co-efficient? If the breeding is too similar, walk away. I wouldn’t go near either breeder I’ve previously used due to health issues. I too lost a dog to cancer-not a breed known for it-at 7. It wrecked me, sounds dramatic, but I was in bits. Go for full health testing on both parents for the best chance of a healthy pup.

I am reading. Thankyou. Struggling with this at the mo. I will respond properly soon, I promise.

Sorry you have gone through this heartbreak too

The breeder we got DDog from has contacted me to say she is expecting a litter.

I just can’t do it. I am so so sad that I just can’t as well. It’s just so unfair, we know the amount of love and fun any new addition would receive from us and it seems so cruel that we’re not in the right place emotionally to have one. Maybe it’s self-preservation. Don’t want this heartbreak again.

We did have sooooo many health checks done last time....& look where it got us

You need to be kind to yourself. It's either too soon or perhaps won't ever be the right time so don't feel bad about turning down the breeder.

You need time to grieve and heal. You really do. The right dog will come along if and when you are good and ready.
Look after yourself OP.

Don't do this to yourself. You're clearly not ready.

When the time comes the right dog will come along.

I think you need to grieve your dog, before your heart will be ready to love another. And I wouldn't necessarily worry that cancer is hereditary, it's just bad luck. Choose a dog when you're good and ready - or perhaps you could register with a rescue and let them choose for you?

My dogs are my absolute world OP, and losing our chocolate lab 4 years ago was honestly one of the most painful things. I have her ashes in the kitchen window, with her collar on top, and I still weep for her. I have now have 2 spaniels after deciding I couldn't go through having another labrador after she had such chronic arthritis.

I'm so sorry for your loss

SillySallys I could have written this. 4 weeks ago Friday, I lost my 13 year old Westie to sudden and terminal bowel cancer. Our house is painfully empty. There is so much want and desire to dispense this apparent surplus of love and affection, but I just can't do it.

For me personally, getting a related dog would open itself to too many comparisons, Oh Bonnie did this too, Oh Bonnie didn't do that, Bonnie was good of the lead, Bonnie took longer to learn this, is it a family trait? Somehow it feels like it diminishes the uniqueness of the new dog.

There isn't a check for cancer, it is just a cruel disease that doesn't discriminate. Our family cat, 6 years ago had to be PTS because of terminal bowel cancer.

Give yourself time, and at some point down the road you find yourself looking for another pet, you will know its right in your heart if you don't feel the need to question it.

Thankyou everyone, you’re all so lovely.

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this, it’s so unfair and cruel and I do feel so robbed, just like you.

We have definitely decided to wait...I am toying (very very softly) with looking into adopting a rescue one. My concerns there are the lack of definite health issues and any unknown psychological issues we may face.

Maybe in a little while I will stary a new thread as I have never gone down that route.

I know you’re not ready by would you consider a rescue that fosters so you had an idea of behaviour etc.
Black retriever x is amazing.
Someone on here fosters for GRWE

I don’t know anything about fostering, will need to do a lot of research. Thankyou for the idea. Sitting here crying...again.

I really don’t understand how you can be here one minute then literally a second later, it’s ‘life extinct’. So brutal. Really struggling.

My very first thought about fostering is ‘How can you bond then just say goodbye to him or her?’ A massive question for me right now.

Off to do some reading

Sorry. I meant if you were going to take on a rescue then one that case from a foster home would be a more known entity.
Fostering may be emotionally very hard on you right now.

Aaah, sorry wolfiefan, my mistake. I get it now I will certainly look at this option when my head is ready to. I always had it in my mind that getting from a KC breeder and the accredited scheme with the Puppy Contract, generation history etc etc would be ‘safer’ but having gone through this, I have definitely learned this isn’t the case.

Can’t sleep tonight. Tears not stopping. DDog should be here on my bed with me having his ears stroked and he should be making that groan that says ‘I am sooooo comfy and loved’.

I miss his smell, that warm digestive biscuit one. Don’t know how to get through this.

Hugs for you OP. If you're not ready yet but potentially mulling a future rescue dog - have you considered volunteering to dog walk at your local shelter? It might be nice to spend a bit of time around new furry friends but without taking on the new full time commitment until you feel ready.

Hi Monkeys,

That was suggested to me further up, thankyou for bringing it to my attention. I did start looking into this earlier this evening funnily enough.

That is definitely a go-er as far as I’m concerned. I get happy when I think of being with new dogs then that smile it brings makes me sad for that it’s not time with my gorgeous baby. The fact that the thought of spending time with others us a good thing I hope.

I don’t know if you mentioned the breed but for pedigree dogs I would always go through the breed club or society. KC assured etc doesn’t mean a whole lot.
I’m so so sorry for your loss. My girl is only 2 but I knew when I met her that she will break my heart one day.