Dog questions - overprotective owner?

[Doggyhug]

I could do with some advice please from dog owners in the questions below.

1. how long is OK to leave a dog alone occasionally? I don't mean for work etc, but for special events, or going on an occasional outing somewhere that's not dog friendly?

2. is it normal for a dog to NEVER be let off a lead? This is a bit of a side point tbh, but I am concerned about the poor mutt's quality of life if I'm honest.

Sorry if I'm being a bit cryptic here; I'm trying to work out if someone is being unreasonable, but as someone who has never owned a dog, I could do with some input please.

Both depend I think.

Mine are regularly left four hours, let out at lunch and played with for short time then left alone again for another few hours. That's only three days a week, someone is here the other four. If we had an event somewhere our dogs could probably be left 5-6. They'd be absolutely fine but I'd feel guilty. Usually we'd get my DM or MIL to pop in and see them halfway through. I have definitely declined days out because of the dogs. I feel guilt going out for most of the day on one of the four days we are usually home too!

Re offlead, I have one who never goes off. He can be a git and chase wildlife when he's in the mood, mostly he just pootles and sniffs so he goes on a flexi lead. He's 10 now and since he was about 8 I've just kept him on, it's safer really and he gets plenty of exercise. I have worked hard with him on the chasing and he was pretty good but it's so stressful for him and for me, and he's been attacked by other dogs before so he can be a bit nervous of other dogs. If he's on a flexi I can get to him and body block other dogs. My youngest however, is 2. She is rarely on lead, she legs it like a mad hatter everywhere and needs physical exercise over mental stimulation unlike my lad. Both are the same breed yet they are very different.

I could do with some advice my dog has worn his nails down last night I managed to stop the bleeding but I'm worried about walking him... I have to walk him as I don't have a garden and will have to walk on the concrete to get to a grassy place.. How long should I not walk him for or what could I do to make sure he won't make them bleed again?

Sadly I think they are choosing not to spend time with you, and using the dog as an excuse. My dog is happy being left 3-4 hours, and up to 6 on the very odd occasion. If we are out for the whole day I use a dog walker for 1 or 2 visits.

They must have a very restricted life if they don't generally leave it for more than 30 minutes.

As most posters have said, it depends so much on the dog.

Therefore if I respond saying my dog is happy to be left for 6 hours this doesn't help you to know whether your relatives are being unreasonable or not because their dog may not be OK being left.

You've said that they've only had the dog a year, and they akways do everything together, presuming they are retired? If so they will have had no reason to have trained their dog to be alone apart from short periods whilst they go shopping.

I find that most threads on here do discourage people from leaving dogs and people are clear that 4 hours leaving is a max which is said because most younger people need to leave their dogs because of other commitments in their lives e.g. Work, taking children to activities, social events. But nobody ever seems to say to a new dog owner, OK you may not need to leave your dog alone, but go ahead and do it anyway because it's good for him/ her to get used to being alone.

In your situation I don't think either party is being unreasonable really. Keep talking with an open mind and see if there is a compromise to be made. It's sad otherwise.

Are they your in laws or your parents? What does your partner think about it?
Can you get them to pick an activity out of the house? At least that way they'll pick something they are willing to do.

Depends on the dog....

We have a really anxious and reactive rescue dog. She can be left alone for about 1.5hrs max but she's still not happy about that and gets really upset if the doorbell rings. We do use a dogsitter but she is scared of people she doesn't know and not good with other dogs so our options for leaving her are limited. She also hates the car so we only subject her to long journeys if it's really really necessary.

We can't take her anywhere busy as she gets very anxious and totally overwhelmed, so for example a beach on a busy day or a play park or a packed pub garden are totally out of the question.

She does go off lead in certain quiet places but I know plenty of people who can't let their dogs off lead in public for various reasons, poor recall, high prey drive, reactivity etc.

So I don't think your inlaws are being totally unreasonable about some things but I think there is a question about whether it's through necessity, like us (I would LOVE to be able to take Ddog to busy places but it's just too terrifying for her), or whether that's just how they like things to be.

Doggyhug

I feel your pain. My inlaws are the same and have said if the dog isn't there then they won't see grandchild. However dog is their world and my baby is our world.

Your parents/inlaws can't complain about the lack of bond between grandparents and grandchildren if they don't make effort. They can make the choices that want for their lives and had the opportunity to do it for their children...but now its you and your partners decisions.

You seem to be trying everything you can to promote contact but you can't please everyone

Some breeds are never supposed to go off lead, but I could never consider having such a breed, it seems pointless if you can’t see the dog running free and sniffing, having natural behaviour etc. Presumably in your case, it’s not one of those as you say it’s picked up lots. The whole travel thing is stupid, most dogs are fine in the car. Mine took a while to get over car sickness, but the good walks are ten minutes by car so necessary.

They’re being over precious.