Please don’t flame me I’m devastated

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Hi I have two Australian kelpies. Beautiful loving dogs. The eldest is a male and is 7 years old. He has always been anxious and on occasion will growl and lunge at other dogs to warm them offand we have spent s lot of time (and money) with dog psychologists, behaviourists and trainers to get to the bottom of it and train him out of it, particularly as it alarmsother people. He has a yellow scarf to signify issues, has spent time with muzzles and also on long leads, short leads, all leads. We take him to isolated places because if he doesn’t get to run he is miserable and then is a right pain. He will not poo or wee on the lead and sulks. We go to fields and country paths and avoid other people as much as we can. He never behaves badly with DH.

Things seem to be escalating. He growled at and snapped at my teenage son for the first time last week and then a few days later ran at a retriever in the woods, and bit its ear, drawing blood. I am at my wits end and horribly afraid of what might happen next as it feels like this is getting worse but after 7 years he is such a part of the family ...

Do I need to accept he can’t be trusted and needs to be put down? Is rehoming an option still? I don’t know what to do for the best. I have a horrible feeling I know the answer but I am so distraught about the idea (he is my first dog and we have had him since he was 8weeks old) that I’m hoping more experienced dog owners here might help.

Muzzle him when he’s out and at least you won’t be stressed about him biting another dog , he can probably sense your stress .

Please don't yell at your dog. I know they can be frustrating but honestly won't solve your problems in the long run.

Positive reinforcement is the way to correct behaviour, not aggressive actions and loud, shouty voice.

You don’t need to immediately jump to putting him down, but you do need to keep him on at lead at ALL times.

Up until I lost him, I was driving to secluded country paths and isolated areas to walk my deaf, one-eyed, wobbly 14 year old dog. To avoid the hustle and bustle of busy parks and boisterous dogs who would barrel him over. I would have lost my absolute shit if we ran into you and your dog bit him. Many people use isolated walks, even if you don’t immediately see them, it’s not a safe area to let your dog off.

Invest in a quality, well fitted harness (Perfect Fit are good) and a longline to exercise him, so he can run but you remain in control and can draw him in if you come across another dog. Muzzle him. Look on Facebook for private hire secure fields too.

Kelpie are high wired working dogs. What do you do to stimulate and exercise him mentally?

update** thank you everyone for your help and support. We have been working on a lot of the suggestions and although things are not perfect, they are improving. We are working on the Quiet command, although with varied results so may be a much longer process, we have changed where we go for walks, very isolated, big fields where he can see who is coming so he doesn't feel trapped which is making a huge difference. I've also been rewarding recall with a whistle and some treats on every walk like we did in the puppy days, and he is getting much better at realising he needs to listen.

The barking in the house goes on, only at me and when DH is not in the house. We have all got better at not reacting at him when he does it, despite the incessant in your face barking, so that is definitely a help. It is beyond frustrating though and exhausting for everyone!

I have joined a kelpie facebook group which is also giving us plenty of advice as we don't know anyone else with Kelpies and as a breed they do things differently so it is fantastic to hear from others with them.

We are starting to teach him the stacking cups game to help with the mental stimulation. There have been a lot more games with him and the kids, learning tricks etc, so all that is helping to keep him calm. We still need to check on the pain aspect, he doesn't present as though he is in pain, but it still needs to be looked at as a possible cause so we will investigate further.

He has worked out how to take the muzzle off, so we are using it sporadically and sticking with using the lead but if the field is empty we can let him run which is a delight to see. Eifla, he is scared of big bouncy black dogs so would never go for your beloved dog, but I get your point we have to be vigilant at all times. Believe me, we are trying and are very aware of the responsibility.

All in all, we are putting a lot of time and effort into making sure he is happier and we are giving him what he needs so hopefully he will continue to improve.

Thank you, everyone, for giving me practical advice when I needed it. I live in a very middle class area where the reaction is he must be Bad and should be Put Down so this has been quite literally a life saver.

Well done. - lovely update