Dogs have ruined christmas

[QueenOfPharts]

I know there is no such thing as a bad dog(s) just bad owners so yes I am aware this is all my fault.
Here goes our lovely pile of Christmas presents under the tree has been destroyed and ruined by the dogs cant work out what was from who and will cost 100s to replace.
I have 2 chocolate Labrador dogs (mother and daughter) aged 7 and 2 and after a catalogue of awful stuff, running away, destruction, defication causing huge expense I no longer can cope. We have 2 young dc and me and my dh work full time. I try and take them on a decent walk everyday I dont always manage but its usually 40mins-hour each day. Its tricky in the winter so sometimes just take them 10mins round the block.
I dont know what im asking but any advice of sympathy would be very much appreciated.

If you had a toddler, you wouldn't leave a pile of presents where they could easily get to it, would you? That goes double for dogs (and labs tend to be basically toddlers until they are elderly).

I hope you manage to salvage more than you think, but this was easily foreseeable and avoidable. I won't say anything about the general situation for the dogs because you already know that it's not right.

Do you leave them with frozen, stuffed Kongs and the suchlike?

You're going to continue to get ripped to shreds OP.

You're not coping and have misjudged what you could manage. You've admitted this and are trying to take steps to improve the situation. I'm not going to bash you - it's more important for all your sakes to come to the right decision about what to do now rather than continue with the guilt and guilt trips.

Could you schedule some time in your day when working from home to take them out? Maybe you need a better schedule. I can understand your frustration but these are living creatures. They’re like being furry toddlers. You need to rethink how you can give them more or you need to find a new home for them.

Either you or your dh need to get out of bed 1/2 hour - 45mins earlier and give the dogs a reasonable walk before work. Get a dog walker for an hour during the day, then at least another 45mins after work.

It isn't "tricky" during the winter its just cold/wet/dark and a bit miserable, but still needs done. You need a proper jacket/wellies. You and your dh chose to have two dogs, living creatures with significant care and exercise needs. You need to adjust your lives and stop neglecting them.

The dogs didn't ruin Christmas, this situation is you and your dh's making.

Do you have any fields around you OP? As you've mentioned you work from home, maybe each lunchtime you could take the dogs out and maybe make a phone call/work on your phone whilst you watch them play? Or throw a ball whilst you work? I think they'd love that. That's what my boyfriend does sometimes!

When we first got our spaniel we were overwhelmed and got so upset about considering rehoming but honestly having a dog walker is the best thing ever and saved our dog! (And our relationship!😂)

Dogs are family, which means you have to be prepared to spend on them what they need, as you would with your children (e.g child needs new coat or regular swim lessons, you pay. Dog needs regular walks and some toys, you pay.)

Poor, poor dogs. What a shit life for them. We longed for a dog for years but would never have one until one of us was at home all day.

My terriers get about 1.5 hours a day and they're oldish. I work from home as well. I take them out with my phone and do any needed phonecalls - is that an option?

Can i add that i had to rehome 2 dogs about 13 years ago due to my marriage break up. It took 6 months but i found the new homes myself and both dogs went to local families who were known to us and they were even seen by us on occasion. We knew they had a good life with their new families.

Re homing could be great for your dogs. Yes you'll feel like shite, (i still feel bad even though i know my dogs were happy) but the important thing is that the dogs will be better off.

It seems you love your dogs. Doesn’t mean yours is the best home for them.

The choice is straightforward- either change how they are treated (midweek long walks and such) or find them someone who is in a position to do that.

Are you keeping them for you or for them?

Keeping them company and providing them with enough physical and mental stimulation, are not the same things.

Labs are active dogs and they need daily exercise of at least an hour. They were bred to be out in the field all day, so keeping them cooped up will be sending them nuts.

Saying that you can't rehome them because they are part of your family, is selfish. If you can't step up and care for them properly then all you are doing is prioritising your feelings - and your guilt - over their health and wellbeing.

And for those who think the responses are harsh - yes they are. But these are living animals, not toys.

I am mainly upset because I have come to the realisation that I cant cope with the dogs. They are part of my family I cant rehome them.

OP, I understand that you're upset, and it's horrible to have your presents ruined. But you really, and I mean this kindly, need to be the adult in this situation. The dogs are just animals relying on you. You need to make some hard choices - can you make lifestyle changes that will enable you to look after them properly? If not, then painful as it will be, you need to re-home them. Anything else is irresponsible and I think you know this, which is why a large part of why you're upset. Don't rush into anything, and talk it over with the rest of the family who should all be part of the decision. If as a family you can't meet the needs of two big, active dogs, then you have to face up to your responsibilities and let them go.

I can't actually get past the idea that someone who owns a labrador leaves anything on the floor.

We haven't had presents under the tree in over 12 years when our first ddogs arrived.

And yes, we're all tired, and that's not the dogs' fault either.

Re. dog walkers, it's worth doing your research. A friend of mine with a Springer Spaniel uses one called "High Energy Hounds" where we are in Scotland which has been brilliant for them. That's 5 days a week in the middle of the day and she takes them out for short walks morning and evening on top of that. Might make your weekend walks more enjoyable if you've got the week days taken care of.

Def. invest in Kongs and other activity suggestions of other posters. For any dog that stimulation is great, but especially with "foodie" labs. There are a tonne of recipes for "Kong stuffing" online. I have fun with it with my dogs (I'm a wee bit sad I know).

I am mainly upset because I have come to the realisation that I cant cope with the dogs. They are part of my family I cant rehome them.

Op, you know these comments contradict each other don't you.
I know you think you cannot bear to part with your dogs, but imagine how much easier your life would be without the responsibility and also imagine how much happier the dogs would be in a home where people had the time and energy to devote to those dogs. We all have times when we think we cannot bear to give up something/change something, but the truth is we can and do bear it and often once the decision is made the weight is lifted. You would not be putting your dogs down, you would be giving them the chance of a better life and putting their needs over your desires, which would make you a good and responsible owner. Please think seriously about re-homing via a reputable re-homing centre.

My sympathy lies with the poor dogs.They may have 'ruined your Christmas' but you are ruining their lives.Thankfully they at least have each other for company, but dogs need some human company throughout the day too.Also dogs of that size should be having two walks a day of at least 40 minutes off lead so as that they can have a good run.Hire a dog walker to come in during the day,make sure they have some stimulating toys and chews available and get a kind neighbour/friend/family member to pop round to let them out in the garden for five minutes if you can.

Poor dogs. Imagine if you could only walk for TEN minutes in 24 hours.

My dogs just eaten the bread for my sauce but in his defence I left it out and I know he’s a thief. Your dogs sound horribly bored!
If you work from home can you rejig hours so you can walk the dogs when it’s light? Catch up on emails early, do school run, walk dogs and be at desk for about 9.30?
My dog is big and will not do 2x 40 minute walks but he does need at least one long walk a day, as well as one or two trips around the block.
We have found a couple of local lanes that are also public footpaths we can walk him on those when it’s twilight or early morning with a torch to locate the poo.
I have 2 DC as well.
If you really cant rejig things to look after the dogs properly then you do need to rehome.

Hi op

Perhaps you should take the dogs to a behaviourist or have them come round to yours and start retraining your dogs. It could be boredom it could also be other factors. If you could organise a specialist to asses the situation at home and out of home it might help you and your family and dogs.

I would've thought living in the middle of nowhere would be ideal for walks?

How much time do you spend playing with, fussing and generally interacting with your dogs?

My Ddog is an 8 year old border collie cross - stupidly intelligent and full of energy. Her first proper walk of the day is a 2 hour off lead walk with her running, playing with other dogs and playing fetch. First thing the daft bugger does when we get home is get her indoor friendly ball to play fetch with 😂 She is my shadow, sits and lays with me, I play and fuss with her many times throughout the day but she still sometimes plays alone or has a wander.

She sulks when I go to work (work at home during the day, work evenings in a hospital) but watches TV, does random things, sometimes goes upstairs for a snooze in my bed, has a visit and walk with a friend when needed etc. She's as good as gold though. She doesn't chew (unless something toy like is left on the floor- my fault), wouldn't dream of stealing anything - she actually asks for things she wants to nab,including other dogs balls when out and food at home 😂😂😂 because she is well trained, well exercised and well stimulated, along with just naturally being the best dog on earth ;)

If you look after your dogs well they will be amazing,sweet and funny members of the family you cannot imagine living without. If you don't they will be unruley and destroy things through no fault of their own. They are dogs, they don't know they aren't meant to touch the toy like things under the tree unless taught so and if they are so bored and unloved they won't care two hoots!

You seem to want everyone to feel sorry for you and keep changing the story and adding bits. But it's the dogs you should be feeling sorry for. Do you actually feel guilty for not giving them the life they deserve? If you don't there is no hope. If you do then bloody sort yourself out, you've had long enough!!

Living in the middle of nowhere should make long off lead walks far easier, not harder. When I lived remotely and had a lab it was sooo easy... Straight out of the back door and 4 miles of tracks when we never met a soul so lab could run free. Dd in pushchair if she was awake. I miss my long moonlit walks.

The problem with working from home is that, although you're in the house, your attention is on your work, not your pets. I think the best idea would be to explore the option of a dog walker.

Do you change their food type often?

That would affect their bowels, Or do they need a different food?

It should be changed gradually over a week,

Ignore that, if it doesnt apply!

Bless you op, that’s rubbish for everyone and sounds like you are busy and doing your best but it’s just not working.

OP you say you can't cope with the dogs but that they are part of your family and you can't rehome them so what are you going to do?

The dogs are clearly bored and probably unhappy as you're not meeting their needs and you sound at the end of your tether.

You need to look at your situation with clear eyes.

From the dog side: they need to get a great deal more exercise for both their mental and physical health, there's no question of that and unless you can afford to provide this in the form of doggy day care - I'm not convinced that a dog walker walking them for one hour a day is enough, although it would be better than the current situation - you seriously need to consider rehoming them.

From your side: what exactly do you get from having these two unhappy, bored dogs in your home? They probably want to show you a lot of attention when you're home if they're on their own all day, but that's not the same as you enjoying their company whilst walking, training and playing with them.

They're high energy intelligent dogs they should be running around letting off steam, using their brains, enjoying life. Not lying around staring at the four walls of their home for most of the day.

Imagine what you'd feel like if that's all you had to look forward to every day?

Unless you can give these animals what they need and want the kindest thing you can do for them is to rehome them.

At the moment you're reasons for keeping them seem to be because 'you can't give them up' and that's clearly for your own needs. That's a pretty selfish way of looking at it.

The dogs need more than you are able to give them so be kind and unselfish and either make changes so that they have their needs met or let them go to another home.