Preparing for our puppy

[Luckystar1]

I am hoping for some advice on preparing for the arrival of our puppy. A cocker spaniel dog, who we will likely collect in the next 2 weeks.

We have 2 young children, 2 & 4. I have his crate set up and ready, to get the children used to it being there. I have some toys. I left a blanket and soft toy with him so his mum can scent it in preparation for his home coming.

I had dogs growing up, but on a farm so they were most often outside. And frankly, they weren’t my responsibility!!!

I want to be prepared for what life might be like, and preparing the children as much as we can.

I have researched thoroughly, but I’m hoping for real life experience of puppies. Will the house be destroyed? I need to mentally prepare! Is training awful? Will the nights be dreadful?

Thank you!

Depends on how trainable the 2 year old and the pup are. (It is apparently frowned on to crate train small children. )
Be prepared for puppy regret. I love my dog and waited ages for her. But cleaning up the accidents and finding she had chewed through a wall were low points.
We used a longline in the house. (Giant pup and cats!) TBH if you don’t want wires etc chewed you need to prevent pup getting near them or watch them like a hawk.
Your mantra for the next few months?
It will improve.
This too shall pass.

An alternative to having the crate in the bedroom: we work on the theory of the pup always sleeping where we want them to sleep eventually.
We have always slept downstairs with the pup when it first arrives. We start off by one of us sleeping right next to the crate - if puppy cries, take straight out for a wee (no fuss, no playing etc). Praise if they wee, if nothing after 5 mins put them straight back in crate. It needs to be boring! We sooth the pup by talking to them and shushing until they go to sleep. Then, over a few days, we gradually reduce the talking/soothing so they self settle, and slowly move ourselves across the room away from the crate. Usually within a week we are sleeping in the hall/next room.
Our last pup was sleeping through within a week (to 5am) with never a pee in the crate, but she was the easiest we've had! It's maybe more work for the first couple of weeks (although easier to take them outside), but I think it's worth it in the long run when you can crate them at 10 and not hear a peep until 7am... Also, dogs can be noisy sleepers! They move around, grunt, snore a bit and rattle the crate - ours would drive me nuts in the bedroom!
Good luck - I'm sure you will be fine...

I found the only way to prevent chewing was to make sure there was nothing that mine could get to. You can't watch them 24/7 and it takes a few seconds for them to chew at something so I puppy proofed a room and we spent the first few months in that one rather than having the stress of letting him loose everywhere else. I also bought a playpen that you could open up which then acts as a barrier around things you want to keep safe.

Divert chewing onto appropriate items from the word go. My friend thought it was cute her 8 week pup chewed her shoes gently, not so much as a 2 year old shoe destroyer. Be consistent and redirect any chewing from word go.
A play pen downstairs with a bed chew toy and stuffed kong can do wonders for your sanity and for moments you need to leave the room to go to the loo etc you know puppy is safe and can’t chew wires.

The crocs are a good idea, but they are also my pups favourite chew toy. I decided early on I couldn't be arsed fighting that battle. Also YY to the stair gate. We have one at the end of the utility room so we all come in, take of shoes/hats/jackets which all get immediately lobbed over the stairgate into what is rapidly becoming the mount everest of soggy clothing.

Re taking your 2yo to classes. Will the 2yo sit in a buggy? Because you need to be able to give the dog attention and get the cues at the exact right time, especially if you are using clicker training. I often have to take DS and the puppy for a walk together, and although off lead it's fine, if I have him on a lead and am trying to reward good polite walking, the toddler is always making a distracting noise, or running ahead so the puppy runs after him, or throwing treats at him. I don't think I'd waste my money going to a class with my toddler, other than for the socialisation aspect. (I'm far from an expert as this is my first puppy in a long time, but this is what I've found so far).

There's a good FB group called Canine Enrichment that has lots of good ideas of ways to keep a puppy occupied. For clicker training I've been using kikopup's video's on yoootooob.

Another excellent group is dog training advice and support on FB. Lots of stuff about bringing pup home and toilet training etc etc.

Don't do it. Seriously. I've cried so much over my 18 week old puppy.

Your kids are so small. It's so much hard work.

Just been stood in the rain for 30 mins and she's cone inside and pissed. Again. Covered in mud. Can't have cushions.

It's a nightmare 😂

Tattandthis lots of us have felt like that. It will get better just hang in there

Or have and
We feel your pain. Toilet training. Out in the middle of the night waiting for them to go. Walking round and round the garden, come in and turn your back for a second???
My dog had no clue. Not a bit. She now has a bladder of steel!

Get one of those awful fanny packs and fill it with tiny treats, then click any behaviour you like and be the wonderful dispenser of treats. Older children can also be involved in training, it teaches the puppy to offer appropriate behaviour to them and that they are the source of food for good manners.

If you want to start clicker on your own the ‘leave it’ exercise with food in your fist is a very good one to start with, also always click/treat the puppy for being close to you, practice the recall game and tiny recalls, plus start work on the sit which is a good default behaviour.

I did look at puppy classes, but there were none that started soon after she came home, and I started with some one to one training, that included some socialisation with other dogs. It worked for lots of reasons, I didn't get into any bad habits, it helped me (mine is my first dog), we found other opportunities to socialise. And it was no more expensive than classes especially given we got so much attention from the trainer.

I wonder, with your home situation, if that might be an option and perhaps better than taking a toddler to training?

And I’ve been given a good contact for puppy classes, but, the only one I could attend would mean I’d have to bring the 2 year old... doable? Or suicidal?!

Is your 2yo one that can be reliable quiet with an iPad, headphones and Peppa Pig?

If you're constantly trying to shush the small child, you're not going to be able to take much of what the trainer's saying. If the child interferes with other people's puppies, they're probably not going to be too chuffed. If the child will sit down quietly, you'll be fine.

I remember someone who brought her small child to the training classes we went to, and brought no entertainment for the small child. The child was not old enough to be interested in the training. It did not go well.

I’ve never had a crate in my bedroom. Mine have always been in crate as puppies at night from midnight to 6 am and gradually extended it so they’d be in bed from 11 to 7 am. They have never peed in the crate overnight. The crate is under the stairs. I never crate puppy unless it’s night time. If I leave him during the day he is put into the utility room. This is because he might chew things around the house. The adult dogs roam free. When pup grows he will get to do the same. None of my other 2 dogs chose to sleep in the crate once it wasn’t closed and I don’t think this pup will be any different. They wander round be find any place that’s comfortable to lie

Thank you all. I’m taking on board each and every comment. I have been puppy proofing like mad. Steel casing for wires, stair gates, going over and over with the children how to treat the puppy. Videos of training on youtube. The works. We have a cat, so... they are used to a pet at least.

And no, my child is a psychopath, she will not be distracted in a room full of puppies with anything bar horse tranquilliser...

The trainer does 1:1 so I’ll do that and see if there’s any way we can attend the evening class, as we’d like to socialise him ASAP.

I was awake for quite a long time last night petrified in training for his arrival...

I had a 1 to 1 training class at home, and the trainer/behaviourist suggested including my daughter. It was lovely! And the kid took way more notice of what the nice professional dog training lady said, than she does to me! . I had to bring my daughter to a group class once...And it wasn't ideal really. She wanted to have a go at everything and was distracting the dog (only ours though, luckily)

I was excited but terrified to bring our pup home. I lost so much weight with anxiety. A good trainer is worth their weight in gold and I got some lovely support on here too. Waves to @BiteyShark.
Mine is two now and a joy. I want a second. I must be off my trolley!!

Waves back at @Wolfiefan. I can't believe how quickly time flies but there is no way I could cope with another .

OP my dog is a lovely adult but we need to focus on a couple of areas still so I am enlisting some 1-1 sessions again. They are so much better than group ones so I never even entertained group ones again. To be honest you can so easily over socialise puppies at those things which makes it bloody hard later when all you want them to do is concentrate on you and not be fixated by other dogs. If I could turn clocks back I would not have done any group ones at all for obedience.

We did group ones but it was never of the “let them play” variety. It was all about maintaining their focus on you despite the distraction. Yes they said a quick hello to other dogs on the way in but that was it.
Plus having a giant breed it was a ridiculously long time before she was allowed to have free play (for fear of joint damage) so she tends to go off and sniff but keep an eye on me too.
I’m completely mad to consider another though.

Honestly - I would say don’t do it with such little kids. I have a four month old puppy and we are just coming out of the complete and utter chaos of puppy life and I’m sure some other phase will start soon. Technically he’s been a dream and is a very calm, well behaved pup naturally. He also slept all night from the start (through nothing we did, just luck!).
My kids are 9 and 6 and still it all felt completely unmanageable most of the time and all our lives were taken over. You can’t go out and its so tying. Can you leave the kids in the house alone while you have to constantly pop into the garden to wait for the pup to have a wee?

The main thing that’s saved my sanity is a puppy play pen. It’s for his safety not mine! At least I could pop for a wee, answer the door etc without him eating the plug sockets etc in that time!

Good luck!

I have 5 & 3 yr old DS's and a nearly 1 year old dog. The things that made it do-able were:

1. My boys get on well, so it was possible to leave them in the kitchen without murder occurring while I took puppy outside when necessary.
2. My mum has a dog, so the boys were fairly well trained on how to act around a dog, and how to treat a puppy.
3. Stairgate to the kitchen and at the bottom of the stairs so I could separate when necessary.
4. Once puppy could get out and about I started to take him for a walk before DH left for work - this means I have at least one walk a day on my own and puppy is less wired at the start of the day. Early start though!
5. My eldest is a good walker, the youngest not so much but we're working on him.
6. A fairly easy puppy (although he's not free of quirks...)

Good luck, it's hard work but it has been worth it for us. Top tip would be sit on the floor while your kids are playing so you can distract dog with chews/toys etc and still be involved in what your DC are doing.

Thank you all. Yes I think 1:1 is going’s to be easier for us. And yes thankfully my children can definitely be left alone for a little while in the house while I pop outside with the puppy.

I guess I am very spooked by the fact that literally EVERYONE I have told in real life that we are getting a puppy has been horrified and has said I’m crazy. Ahhhh!

I’m also very guilty of over researching and trying to troubleshoot prior to events which ends up driving me insane. I’m a control freak and do need to chill!

Lots of puppies (some people get lucky and get the easy ones) are hard work. Cocker spaniels, even the show ones, bring their own challenges. However, despite all of that if you are prepared for hard work for at least a year then you can have many more years of having a lovely dog.

You do need to recognise that training is ongoing and should be continued way beyond the puppy classes but 1-1 is a far better use of time and puts you on the right track quicker.

I researched lots but quickly realised that actually dogs have their own personalities and you just have to adapt when you get them. This board is good though for support and will get you through any hard times.

We got 1:1 training and it was definitely very useful. The trainer could see our set up and advised me on specific things to our household and puppy that I don’t think she would have had the time for in a class.
I will be getting the trainer back again before Christmas just to see where to aim for next.

We have an 18 month old working cocker, my tips.

Get a big playpen with an entry gate for dcs to play and keep their toys in to stop pup eating something that can kill him...this is your biggest risk.Lego is the enemy.

Baby gates everywhere if you haven't already to keep a bitey pup away from Dcs when necessary (it will be a lot!)

Move EVERYTHING 3 ft off the floor and l mean everything, find enclosed homes for shoes, coats, hats, bags by the door (l lost 5 pairs of winter boots when Dpup ate them)

Have 2 old towels at each entry point ie garden/ front door/wipe paws from day 1, teach to come in quietly and 'give' paws, quick wipe will save hours of mud cleaning! do it EVERYtime. All my dogs automatically wait to be invited in, and stand still, lifting paws by the age of a year. My dcs can bring in the current dog and he will oblige.

I would put crate downstairs with a blanket over for quiet times ie after each walk, same at night. don't use crate for punishment, it is meant to be a rest place.

Spent lots of time role playing with Dcs so they know how to behave around pup, ie what to do if he growls/nips, (go into playpen and close gate)/ how to approach (calmly)/when to leave him ( sleeping) etc. If you can train your dcs well the pup will be much easier to deal with.

Try and get into a routine from the get go, he will settle easier.

Enjoy!