Rehoming my beloved boy. Only 11 months. How?

[TetleysSurpassesYorkshireTea]

We got our gorgeous Maltese pup in April when he was 10 weeks ol

MyKingdomForBrie - thank you. We are going to try to find a behaviour therapist to help us to get him to stop licking DD, which is what freaks her out.

DD has also been very distressed by the dog barking at fireworks. I have explained that he is frightened to her, but the noise makes her cry.

If we could sort out the licking and barking, and have a dog walker, we could keep him. My DD simultaneously loves the dog and hates his licking and woof (only when someone comes to the door so not all the time, but load noises cause her stress).

Its so hard to know what to do for the best, both for DD and DDog.

I feel gutted reading your post, Maltese are right little watch dogs so to get him to stop barking will be very hard, they see it as their duty to let you know a stranger is on town! they do love to lick I’ve not known a Maltese that does not, so I really don’t see how you can train these traits out of him, hopefully your behaviour therapist will help but I feel sad for him as he is not doing anything wrong it’s not naughty behaviour it’s what the breed do (sad) it’s like trying to train him out of his little personality. Maltese are the best most loving dogs ever but it does not sound as if he is a good fit for your home set up. I am so so relieved you are going through the proper channels using a breed rescue centre, I hope he goes to a kind loving older couple who are home all day to attend to his every whim! Maltese are dogs of royal descent so are used to the good life! Please do update and I’m so relieved you are not going through gum tree or some other horror show.

BettyBoo - exactly, he isn't being naughty (except for when he tries to nip our ankles, little bugger!). Hence feeling awful about the situation.

Personally, I love the licky nature of him. Doggy kisses are so cute, and I am working on de-sensitizing DD to them.

He is just my little mate, who follows me everywhere. I really don't want to lose him. He is so loving and just the best.

I wouldn't give him up so quickly. Dd's dislike of barking and licks can probably be desensitised, alongside working with a behaviourist to minimise those behaviours occurring.

It'd be better for your DD to be able to reflect that together you overcame a problem than that her problem was so bad the dog had to be got rid of. If you'd worked hard on this - on DD and on the dog- and it was still causing massive distress that would be different.

I’m so sad for you, you must be devastated, really hope you can find a way to keep him, you really do sound a lovely owner who will do the very best for him whatever route you go down, such a sad situation for you all.

Oldbirdy - that is a really good point. And I think it is the stance we will take. He is such a joy. Thanks for that perspective. I thought I was doing the right thing for DD by rehoming, but you are right, desensitising and overcoming will help her more in the long run.

I really appreciate your input. Thank you

There's a training programme for families with autistic dc's and dogs. We didn't do it as we trained ourselves but look into it. Our dog is really good with dd when she looses it . He also is invaluable now as to deal with anxiety she walks at night so takes him for safety (she's adult now, she was 10 when we got him).

A trainer could help with the barking and licking, the breed rescue may be able to recommend someone with experience with the breed.

OP please please don’t give up just yet.

I have a GSD and let me tell you.. no dog could bark as much as she used to. It drove me insane. But with the help of a one to one trainer, her barking has massively reduced now. In fact the only time she barks is over the field if I’m not throwing her ball quick enough

He will no doubt grow out of the licking aswell. If not, there are still ways to discourage him from not licking

I love @oldbirdy ‘s reply. That’s an awesome way of looking at things.

Agree with working on it. If it helps, once mine outgrew the puppy stage his licking really calmed down. Now he likes a cuddle and a warm lap but is quite lazy and a lot less exciteable!

Thanks everyone. I feel much more positive now about things.

I really hope you can get the help you need so that you can keep your dog. I have two children with autism (a good bit older than your dd) and the comfort and reassurance they get from Bella and Eric (exh's dog) is second to none. It's been especially important as they got older and more in need of a predictable and non judgemental friend and confidante. Your pup is an adolescent so there is every chance that the barking and licking will lessen as the dog matures. Good luck OP.

Thank you everyone. I feel much more positive. DDog is staying for now!

That is such good news and I hope a relief. I really hope your DD adjusts and that it turns out growing up with him really helps her.

Incidentally If she’s anything like our DS could she have an idea that the licking is bad or is it just sensory? DS used to get ideas about germs but definitely knows how healthy having a dog is and he has no issue. But I did have to watch him for anxiety in unexpected places

Thanks building!

It is a relief. I think the fireworks for days on end haven't helped. Poor dog has woofed and woofed! Holding him has helped but banning fireworks would be better!

My DD does love DDog, just not sudden loud noises, licks or having ankles nipped!

The licks she is coming to terms with. I have explained that dogs aren't dirty and it is ok. She is getting there.

I think the barking whenever DDog sees someone walk past the house, and the nipping is solvable via training. I taught her tonight how to say a firm no, and stop dead so DDog walks into her leg, which he hates so it puts him off nipping.

Ds and dd hated Eric's early months tbh, they mostly ignored or avoided him tbh. But once he got over all the difficult bits they started to love him and now they will greet him and Bella (rescue dog to avoid the puppy bit) long before they bother acknowledging me

My 2 dd's have ASD and I got a Maltese puppy 5 months ago as an anxiety aid for them. She is completely bonkers and also licks them and barks at the fireworks. My girls though have figured out distraction technics to stop her from doing this. When she starts they wave a toy in front of her and start a game. They also use treats to teach her skills which means she now lays down on command if she's being too silly for them. I have used a dog behaviourist with my girls & the pup and this has worked wonders for us.
Please don't give up on the pup as they do take work and that's what you agreed to when you took it on and especially for something that can be so easily fixed.
Good luck! I hope it works out for you all.

That's interesting that the behaviorist helped @Notjustanyone. I feel that its definitely the way forwards. I hated the idea of rehoming Monty, because we are his family. And we got him for life. I was trying to prioritise DD.

But having had so much positive feedback, I have hope that we can get through this.

Thanks all

Good luck to you! X