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Original poster

Anyone experienced puppy regret?

40 replies

OhLawdy · 17/09/2018 08:37

Pups been jere for nearly 3 weeks and I'm just thinking 'Why the fuck did I do this?'

I've got a trainer coming in once a week and the dog is great with things like sit, stay, games with food etc.

But she just screams when she's in her crate. I do crate value. Lots of treats in there. Feed her in there. But as soon as I shut the door she freaks

I'm getting no sleep

I just feel like I've made a huge mistake. I couldn't take her back. It would kill the kids but I just don't know what to do. I'm crying my eyes out

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 17/09/2018 08:46

Yes I had puppy regret for several months. Just as the puppy bits subsided then the adolescent stroppy stubbornness started.

All I will say is invest in whatever gets you through it, Brew, Cake or Wine.

It does pass. Mine is now 2 years old and I adore him so much but I still remember how difficult it was at first.

Lichtie · 17/09/2018 08:47

Not much advice except it honestly gets better.
I've never been a fan of crates, but I know other people swear by them.
How often are you closing her in the crate? Is it just at night or are you doing it for short spells during day whilst you stay in room, like when she's eating?

Original poster
OhLawdy · 17/09/2018 08:49

The worst bit is I wanted an adult dog. But got refused by around 5 rescues either because I had kids or because part of my back garden isn't fenced. (I don't even open my back door so dog wouldn't go in back garden, we only use front and we plan to fence it in spring ready for summer but that wasn't good enough)

So now I'm thinking 'Why didn't you just keep trying rescues until a chill old dog was available?'

I do love her to bits but it's so hard.
Especially mornings trying to get kids ready.

That's why I want her crate trained. So she can happily chill in there for 40 mins in the morning.

But she just freaks out SO badly

OP posts:
Trampire · 17/09/2018 08:50

Stick with it. People aren't joking when they say it's like having a new baby, because you have a new baby!

I remember the biting at ankles, the chewing/eating everything, the toilet training, all kinds of other training. Luckily, my pup was always quite good at night. My pup is 3yrd old now and a lovely, calm friendly dog.

Is the crate in your room? We crate trained and kept our dog in the kitchen (he now sleeps in a basket in our bedroom though). A lot of people I know have it in their room though as the pup needs to be near you.

It is tough but I promise it gets better with a bit of work and time.

Floralnomad · 17/09/2018 08:51

The obvious answer is ditch the cage and see if things improve . There are lots of people who do not put their dogs in cages and manage very well . We used a very large pen and then a combination of doors and stair gates to keep ours safe until he was house trained and not chewing .

Original poster
OhLawdy · 17/09/2018 08:51

I've not even attempted overnight.

She sleeps on our bed. I was happy for that to be the norm but she just keeps biting our faces and feet in the night and waking at 5am like it's morning.

So we have decided to crate train for night.

Up to now we have only done crate value with door open and shut the door twice. And she screams like she's being killed and pees/poops even though she's just been

OP posts:
Original poster
OhLawdy · 17/09/2018 08:52

If I don't crate train where do I put her when the kids are eating or she needs to chill out? Or at night?

Just in the kitchen?

OP posts:
Trampire · 17/09/2018 08:53

Yes, try a puppy pen instead. Crates work for done dogs and not others. I know lots of people who've never used a crate.

I had your experience at a rescue centre too OP. I work from home and my kids were 10 and 8 at the time but they still wouldn't let us adopt Sad

Floralnomad · 17/09/2018 09:01

You can teach her to sit on a particular mat when you are eating or want her to just go and sit , Victoria Stillwell covered it in one of her programs so you should be able to find it online ( be aware I think it was the episode where one of the dogs ended up being pts because it attacked a child ) . Or at first put a stair gate in the doorway of the room where you eat and put her on the other side so she can see you and give her a stuffed Kong to entertain her .

Harrypotterfan1604 · 17/09/2018 09:15

My puppy never did well in a crate at all she hated it despite lots of trying. I have a baby gate to seperate my kitchen and lounge so we generally eat in the kitchen at the table and shut the dogs in the lounge. They sleep upstairs in our bedroom in a basket but that was what I wanted but during the day if we leave then they just go into the kitchen into their beds, we built up the time and they’re quite happy alone.
Puppies need tons of mental stimulation, a snuffle mat would be ideal or a frozen kong to wear her out a bit.

Mamabearx4 · 17/09/2018 09:24

Puppies are hard work, but if you can keep at it its so rewarding. Not sure i would do it again, but i love my 3 yr old springer and she is well behaved now.

faeriequeen · 17/09/2018 09:29

Don't crate her. Think about it - no wonder she hates it.

Trampire · 17/09/2018 09:54

Faeriequeen, different dogs suit different things though. My dog loved his crate as a pup and would bark until we'd shut the door.

I agree though that OPs pup obviously isn't keen.

adaline · 17/09/2018 10:49

Not all dogs do well crated. You could get a playpen and put her in that with a frozen kong?

Dorkdiary · 17/09/2018 10:52

Yes I seem to remember fruingy heart out because I wondered why on earth I had done this to us. Mine was much harder than my children as babies.

She's now four and curled up on the sofa where she isn't allowed.

Dorkdiary · 17/09/2018 10:54

Fruingy?? Wtf
Crying...
Stupid autocorrect

Cath2907 · 17/09/2018 10:57

We had puppy regret! These days I sometimes have stinking rolled in a poop dog regret!

Firstly it DOES get better but it is SHIT to start with! As their razor sharp baby teeth drop out and they get the idea that jumping on you and biting you doesn't make you play they do stop it. They also eat less of your house and sleep a little more.

Our pup would sleep in his crate but would scream the house down if put there during the day. We gave up in the end. He has dog beds now and sleeps in one of those in the kitchen at night. However if the biggest issue today is the puppy jumping all over everyone and driving you all NUTS in the morning then I sympathise and my answer was:
a) Keep puppy locked in kitchen with me whilst I made breakfast. Have a pile of treats (including cardboard tubes, bits of carrot and mini biscuits) on the worktop next to me and roll them up and down the floor whenever puppy tried to bite my feet. That meant he spent 20 mins running up and down the kitchen and I got stuff done.

b) Make the kids sit at a table (we used to have breakfast on the sofa - we still do now, but for about 3 months we all sat at the table as that way the dog couldn't jump on DD and steal her food).
c) Give the dog a kong with cream cheese smooshed in it when you sit at the table - keeps him out the way.
d) Babygate on the stairs and make kids dress upstairs (ignore the howling of sad puppy at the bottom of the stairs).
e) Teach the puppy sit and get kids involved. It really helps if they can make the pup pause for a second mid-harassment and put his bum on the floor.

All of that used to make mornings less like a living hell (to be honest it was still terrible) until he got used to the routine. Now he is 9 months and we have a walk before DD gets up and he then lollops on the sofa next to her giving her googly eyes in the hope she'll slip him a toast crust. Now screaming, biting, scratching or howling.

IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!!!!!!!

Cath2907 · 17/09/2018 10:59

Should have said NO screaming, biting or howling. Honestly by about 6 months old he was a 1000% better.

Costacoffeeplease · 17/09/2018 11:03

Just about everyone who ever gets a pup. Just stick with it, each annoying stage should only last a shortish time, then you forget how shit it was Grin

GreenMeerkat · 17/09/2018 11:04

Can you give her a bed in the kitchen and put up a stairgate?

If she freaks out when you close the crate then crate training is not going to work for her. It's going to make her anxious and the anxiety will only get worse the more you leave her in it. Plus, by having her actually sleep on your bed you are sending very mixed messages when you lock her in the crate.

Personally, I would allow the kitchen to be 'her space' so put her bed, food bowls, toys etc in there and use a stairgate to separate from the rest of the house. And stop letting her sleep on your bed. Wolves, when in packs, the alpha will usually sleep higher up than the rest of the pack, dogs are the same, and by allowing her on your bed you're showing her that she is at least equal in the pack to you. She needs to know that you are dominant, or you will open yourself up to way more issues.

SlothMama · 17/09/2018 11:10

Have you tried putting her into a pen? My puppy will only go into her soft crate when shes tired, but loves her pen.

bpisok · 17/09/2018 11:48

Dpuppy happily goes in her crate. We got a lovely soft doggy bed. Day one we put it on the floor and she curled up in it. Late afternoon we picked pup and bed up and put them in the crate with a teddy and some dog treats but the door open. Next day we started shutting the door for a few minutes at a time until we realised she didn't mind anyway so long as she was tired. She's been with us nearly 2 weeks and when she is tired she picks up her teddy and takes herself and teddy off to the crate for a snooze. The crate is in the kitchen and we have a dog monitor for night time. The first few nights we let her out every time she cried/barked so she knew she wasn't trapped and would be let out. Now she sleeps about 5 hours before needing to be let out for the toilet and then goes straight back to the crate to sleep.
The bed takes up about 80% of the crate but she still has space to stand and turn around.
In the morning I wear her (and me) out from 6am until 7.30 when everyone else gets up!
We have been following Zak George methods which we found on utube- and so far it's working.
But yeah, they are hardwork!!! No regrets yet.

Original poster
OhLawdy · 17/09/2018 15:35

CATHY27

That is unbelievably good advice. I think I'm going to do that from now on.

She obviously hates the crate and I don't want to push her

OP posts:
fizzledays · 18/09/2018 07:32

Yep, right here 👋👋
We picked up an 11 week old puppy about 10 days ago who didn't get on in his first home as the other dog they had was attacking him. Luckily he seems to have zero hang-ups from that.
Here's the kicker for me. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and been signed off work with stress for a few weeks, DH is at work all day so I'm looking after the pup. Anxiety is through the roof, panicking about everything, we've been getting building work done which is almost done but it's made me worried about leaving him.
We had planned to get a puppy, but we've got him a bit earlier than we should (house should have all been sorted really). Told DH last night I was worried we made a mistake, he just keeps assuring me it'll get better. He's a very good puppy to be fair with everything I've been reading about other people's horror stories, I'm just in a tricky spot 🙈🙈🙈

Hoppinggreen · 18/09/2018 20:30

Is there anyone who hasn’t experienced puppy regret?
Only people who’ve never had a puppy I imagine
It will get better OP I promise