My adult cocker spaniel HATES our new puppy! Advice please!

[TomHardyswife]

We have a gorgeous, placid 8 year old male cocker spaniel.

For many years, he has been our only dog in our family.

On Thursday, we brought home a 10 week old cocker spaniel male puppy.

Puppy has been used to playing (and serious rough and tumble!) with his brother from the same litter, and his mum.

However, when we introduced our adult cocker to the puppy, things didn't go well. Our adult cocker absolutely hates the puppy to the extent he more or less refuses to be in the same room as him. He won't interact with him, won't even look at him and has on occasions preferred to sit staring at the radiator on the wall as opposed to looking in the direction of the puppy and everyone else.

Puppy just sees our adult dog as another version of his mum and just wants to snuggle up to him and play. And box his ears.. And swing off his tail! Whenever he is in the vicinity, our adult dog growls at him and retreats. Yesterday, the puppy stepped into our adults bed but we got him out. Since then, our adult won't go in his bed.

Although the puppy is demanding a lot of attention, we are aware of our adult feeling left out, so we are trying to make sure we are devoting lots of time to him. Lots of walks, playing with his ball and so on.

The sleeping arrangements are hard as we do not want to put them together (in seperate beds) in the same room (the growling from our adult does not seem to deter puppy from wanting to play) so we have kept them in seperate rooms at night and when they are unsupervised.

What the heck can we do? I really hope our adult comes round and starts to accept the puppy as I would hate for things to carry on for good the way they are now!

I'm 4 months in with my 2 and my dog still doesn't like the puppy :( but he doesn't growl, just avoids her.

You can use a clicker to encourage tiny steps to positive interaction, so start with a click and a treat if he looks at the puppy then build from there slowly.
Crate the puppy so that the adult dog can have time without the puppy bothering him, and make sure he has lots of time with the people in the house.
Walk them together and give the adult lots of clicks and rewards so that he can start seeing the puppy as a positive thing.

Gosh a lot of overreaction here...

We got a puppy when ddogs were about 6 and definitely considered returning him. It took at least three weeks for everything to settle down. It may have been a slightly different dynamic as ddogs were female and puppy was male - they constantly told him off.

If you don't have one already I would get a crate or a puppy playpen so at least you can relax and not have to always supervise, but more importantly older dog can have a chance to be around the puppy and check him out without fear of being hassled. TBH I would keep them separated like this for as long as it takes. Once your pup is able to go on walks, then some parallel lead walking is always good.

SIsternotCisterf

I have already stated that the breeder would take him back if it didn't work out.

What I actually meant was that DH and I haven't looked at each other and said "This isn't working out, is it." We are only a week along the line and obviously want to give it time.

Not sure why you are insinuating we have bought him on a whim.

*Whiskey2014
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We have always owned two spaniels at once but after losing our springer, we have had to wait a while before getting a second dog for several reasons. We have had our name down for this litter for a while.

Thank you to the posters offering actual advice. I've just ordered a puppy crate from Amazon and I'm just about the check out the cocker spaniel website. Fingers crossed!

I have already stated that the breeder would take him back if it didn't work out.

You didn’t actually, you said you assumed she would as she had a pup returned to her before. It doesn’t sound like you actually asked her if she would.

As for why it looks like you bought the dog on a whim, no, can’t imagine why it looks like that at all

My golden girl was 9 when we lost our other dog. She was healthy and good natured so thought a pup would be good company for her and a balanced role for him.

Like yours she wouldn't even look at him.

If he touched any toys, she wouldn't. If he licked food, she would refuse it. She never growled at him, just moved away. Luckily he seemed to quickly view her as boring and didn't pester her but I was distraught. I never wanted my girl to feel like this in her own home.

Strangely, after the pup being here for two weeks, I moved the furniture around so there was more space in the living room. Older girl started to play in the space and pup joined in. They played! And haven't stopped since.

Pup is nearly a year old now and they get on great.

Sister,

why are you being so rude? Helpful solutions and/or advice is what Tom needs, not negative comments.

What @Bunintheoven88 said..... move on @Sister if you're only going to be snidely

I feel your pain! We are 4 weeks into our new pups’s arrival and our 4 yr old dog is very very slowly coming around! Older dog has the sweetest, most placid temperament normally but with the newbie’s arrival has started growling and hiding in the garden!! You will get there, it just takes time. Yes to the crate, we put the pup in there for time out, often with some of his food in a Kong from the freezer. This gives older dog a break, and also the opportunity to be in his ‘spot’ in the house rather than hiding out of the way in another room. It’s a total myth that dogs snuggle up to a pup straight away....ours had been socialised with lots of other dogs and puppies, in and out of the house and staying overnight and always been fine. But a new member of the family is a whole other level! They play rough and tumble, with lots of growling but this is how they communicate and position themselves in their new pack. We never leave them unsupervised and separate them if they get too much, but on the whole they’re fine. In the last week when pup cried out in his sleep older dog was there like a shot checking he’s was okay! Then today they were sleeping a couple of feet apart....it’s been different rooms or opposite ends of the garden previously! Don’t despair and give it plenty of time

We also found this useful....

www.clickertraining.com/what-to-expect-introducing-a-puppy-to-your-adult-dogs

Thank you Thunderpunt and Bunintheoven88 I was beginning to wonder if I had posted in AIBU!

Nice to hear I'm not alone, and some positive stories!

Crate due to arrive tomorrow. Definately need a playpen for puppy regardless of having an older dog.I've forgotten how much energy puppies have! Need eyes in the back of my head!

I'll update on how we get on!

Yeah don’t worry, I’m going, to late now for OP to go back and make sensible choices. Just fed up of seeing people getting pets when they haven’t thought it through. Always the pet that suffers. But it’s fine because she can hand him back...

K bye then Sister 👋🏽

Toodle pip 😂

Hang in there OP - this sounds very much like our older dog when we introduced a puppy.

Make sure older dog gets plenty of space and give it time.

The turning point for us was when puppy could join us on walks and we could let them both play safely off lead.

I think at that point he started to see the point of her as a potential play mate and fellow mischief maker

They rub along just fine now but it took a few months before he was happy to share the sofa with her

Its like your 8 year old dog is past it so you want a newer model. I feel sorry for him :(

That's just such a nasty thing to say. MN beggars belief sometimes. For me I would think OP got another pup as she loves her current dog so much she wanted to get another one to love too. And in NO way is an 8 year old cocker "past it" all the ones I know, and I know a fair few, are still active and alert and going for miles and miles on their walks still. I know an 11 year old CS who is only just slowing down.

Trying the dog out with random puppies in your own home is right up there in the 'most ridiculous comments I've heard on MN'.

Just give it time. I have the world's most placid dog and he was the same with our new pup. They're the best of friends 2 years on and have been for a lifetime. The oldest would be lost without him.

We had an older dog (she was about 3 or 4) and were recommended by trainers to get a puppy so that she got used to the puppy at home, but the puppy took some of the 'heat' out of encounters with other dogs whilst out (the older dog was very fearful of other dogs, not having been properly socialised when a puppy - we rescued her when she was about 10 mo). The older dog really hated the puppy and wanted to be out if it was in and in if it was out, and certainly not in the same room. I think the turning point came when I was in the garden with both dogs and playing with the puppy because she was being ignored by our dog - we were playing chase. The older dog suddenly seemed to see that it might be possible to play with a puppy - and to start with, as long as she was chasing, she was prepared to play chase. The two became very close - they would spend hours playing in the garden together eventually.

So.. hang in there - but also, is there anything that your older dog likes doing that you could somehow involve the pup in but not so that the older dog has to do too much too close - and the older one still get rewarded for this? Perhaps see that the puppy means that good things happen?

*Sister

People getting pets when they haven't thought it through
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So you have chosen to ignore the info in my posts which explains that firstly we have been owners of 2 spaniels at once for many years but held off from getting a second one until our circumstances were right? And also that we had our name on a waiting list from a reputable kennel club breeder for quite some time? Instead you have decided to jump to unfair conclusions that I am one of these people who acts before engaging a bit of common sense and that I have no regard for the puppy's wellbeing.

I'm surprised you haven't suggested that he is an early Xmas present.

The only thing I am guilty of is not consulting my crystal ball to predict that things would be a bit challenging this time with my normally very placid and docile adult dog.

Hi, our older dog hated the puppy so much he would lurch at it very aggressively as if to kill it! We crated puppy, kept older dog in boot room at night. When older dog was snoozing in sitting room with us we put puppy's crate in furthest corner of room, gradually moved closer to older dog (took a couple of weeks over this alone). It was all slowly, slowly. Took 6 months for older dog to tolerate puppy. That was 2 years ago, the older dog gives younger one a good morning and good night sniff but otherwise ignores him. We were frustrated after a month when things hadn't improved and asked vet for advice and they said just keep going it will happen but a lot slower than you want it to. Hope this reads ok, in a mad rush but I feel for you. Hang in there!

@Whisky2014...... I think that's a very harsh remark to make to the OP about newer models! I'm sure she adores her older dog fgs....the very fact that she's raised this thread clearly shows she's very concerned. I know many many happy doggy homes with multiple dogs young and old whose lives overlap, a dog sadly passes away and new dogs are introduced ....a secure loving home is provided.
I agree with comments about ensuring your older dog remains 'top dog' and is not dethroned. Food should be given to old dog first, lots of fuss too. I think be patient. Spaniels are a highly intelligent breed and this dog is massively put out. In time, once he realises that he is still secure in his position he will stop wasting energy on this struggle. But you can't force or hasten that. Hang in there. Early days.

And i think its harsh to get a puppy which interferes with the happy adult dog. Just my opinion. But i have heard this happen so many times and it's just all based around selfishness of humans wanting a cute pup to cuddle. OP even says the old dog goes in other rooms which sounds like they are always with pup. Picking pup over old faithful. I think its really sad.

Oh nonsense! Loads of people do this and it nearly always works out as evidenced by the other experiences related on this thread. You just want to make the OP feel like shit for some odd reason. If that wasn't the case you'd be offering advice instead of sad facing all over the thread.

Out of interest what do you think of parents who have additional children when their existing children are older? Is that cruel too? Does that mean they don't love them or have any time for them or are replacing new for old?

No because humans are a superior being and have the capacity to understand what's going on... although kids definutely do know when they are being treated unfairly and i think its also common for an older kid to be jealous and out out when there's a baby around.

So you think the older dog is sitting alone and sad in another room, feeling left out and abandoned and replaced? You are anthropomorphising. The dog doesn't feel like that, he feels irritated by the younger dog and unsettled by the change in his environment. YOU think it's cruel and that is your opinion but your emotive claims that the OP and family are all over the puppy and abandoning the older one to sit sad and lonely in another room are clap trap. That's not what's been said it all. The OP has described how they are regularly crating the puppy and focussing on the older dog but you've chosen to ignore that. Seemingly so you can make the OP feel like shit.

*Whiskey2014
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Why have you jumped to the conclusion that my older boy going in another room means that we are always with the pup and therefore always favouring him??

Your comments are ridiculous, and I've no idea why your claws are out