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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

CRAZY BUT LOVED DOG!

34 replies

somanyquestions2018 · 01/08/2018 19:45

My baby is due in September 2018 and I am currently living with my parents and due to circumstances out of my control I will probably be here for the first year of my new arrivals life.

The only problem is my parents dog. Who I LOVE! But she is NUTS! There are a whole list of things you cannot do without her getting aggressive and attacking you. She is a jack Russell type so is only small but can still be terrifying when something has wound her up!

My sister has two kids a one year old a two and a half year old. When they visit the dog sits with my dad on a lead and shivers and becomes agitated if either child gets close to her. She has been off the lead sometimes with them and seems to react a bit better but can go a bit funny and look like she is going to pounce if things get too noisy.

Unlike my sister who has openly said she doesn’t like the dog I have a very close relationship with the dog. I know it sounds stupid but I’m positive she knows I’m pregnant and she likes to sleep around my bump and has generally been even more close to me since I became pregnant.

So I’m hoping she will love my baby! Maybe the baby will smell like me?! I’m going to get a sling so I have both hands free in case she has a freak out!

Any tips to help her bond with my baby and connect that the baby is a new family member?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 01/08/2018 19:52

That sounds like a very dangerous situation to bring a baby into, the dog loving you will probably make it worse not better.
If moving out or rehoming the dog aren’t options you need professional help and even then you might not be able to make the dog safe for the baby ( and the dog)

Original poster
somanyquestions2018 · 01/08/2018 20:08

No moving out or rehoming are not options I'm afraid. We have had a professional animal behaviourist in the past but not really had any joy. He came with lifetime email support though so I am going to email him.

OP posts:
Funnybunnydog · 01/08/2018 20:12

Your dog is unhappy. An aggressive dog is an unhappy dog. Why would you keep it in a situation it is obviously unhappy in and this is before tbe baby even comes along!

missbattenburg · 01/08/2018 20:30

Any tips to help her bond with my baby

You honestly don't want this. You want the dog to not care whether the baby is there or not. You want the dog to ignore the baby.

Also, your sister needs to keep her children very much away from the dog.

Honestly, the dog seems like it is trying to tell you all how unhappy she is near children. Believe her.

Original poster
somanyquestions2018 · 01/08/2018 20:43

I can assure you she is not unhappy. I can see your concern as I have described one situation (my sisters kids visiting) in which she is not happy but this situation very rarely happens. The other long list of things that she reacts aggressively too we simply do not do so she is usually placid and happy as larry! She didn’t ask me to have a baby but due to uncontrollable circumstances we are all going to be living together soon so I was just looking for any helpful advice on getting them used to each other? We have seen a professional in the past and he said her problems all stemmed from the fact she doesn’t want us to share our attention with anyone else. If anything he said we have spent too much time with her and loved her too much. This is why she gets jealous and aggressively attacks if either of us hug or even pass anything to each other or open post in front of her or touch anything that is making noise i.e. a telephone or kitchen appliance. She saw me struggling to open a bottle of hand wash once and attacked me until I put the bottle down! She must have thought my straining was the bottle of hand wash hurting me or something!

OP posts:
missbattenburg · 01/08/2018 20:51

To be clear, I was not saying she was unhappy all the time. I was saying she sounds like she is unhappy around children. Please just keep the baby well away from her and don't ask her to cope with it - because it sounds like she cannot.

Original poster
somanyquestions2018 · 01/08/2018 20:57

Sorry I was a bit defensive there! I love the dog! As I said she did not ask me to bring newborn into her home! I will keep the baby away from her. But it's also quite a small home so it's going to be a challenge.

OP posts:
TimeForANewNameIThink · 01/08/2018 20:58

Please do not look for ways to make the dog get along with the baby. You have a ticking time bomb in the dog and if it's allowed near your baby, some trigger that you have not yet encountered may set it off and the results could be devastating - surely this is not something you could even consider?
Spend the time between now and when your baby arrives getting your dog used to being shut out of certain rooms for periods of time, invest in baby gates to stop the dog from having free access to all areas. You must keep the dog and baby apart from each other, with a dog that is likely to become aggressive in certain (known and as yet unknown) situations, you must never look to introduce the dog to your baby and certainly never wish that they become 'friends'.
I am not anti dog, i have 2 of my own and 2 dc's.

Wolfiefan · 01/08/2018 21:02

You don't want a scared and potentially aggressive dog to connect with a newborn. It's an animal and is scared of children. Keep them separate. And move out ASAP. This could well end in disaster when the crawling/grabbing stage happens.

Original poster
somanyquestions2018 · 01/08/2018 21:15

I've got it! I can live in my parents driveway in my friends campervan until I get a place sorted! 👍

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 01/08/2018 21:33

I really hope this is some sort of joke

Booboostwo · 01/08/2018 22:35

This sounds like an extremely dangerous situation. You don’t seem to really understand the dog’s triggers and behavior. The dog sounds very stressed and dangerous. You need to keep the baby and dog separate all the time. Use a crate and baby gates, don’t rely on anything to dog can jump on or get through. Don’t rely on anyone to stand between the two or restrain the dog when it attacks, the dog may be too fast and too unpredictable for anyone to successfully intervene.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 01/08/2018 22:37

Rehoming is always an option where aggression and children are concerned. She may be a small breed but she is more than capable of killing a baby. This is potentially a very dangerous situation. You clearly have no idea about dog behaviour or you wouldn’t be on here asking. And don’t vent yourself at my comment, I am not being patronising, I am stating the truth. Please find a more suitable home for this poor dog before you introduce a newborn baby into the mix. Nobody is getting at you, this is very serious.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 02/08/2018 13:14

MsAdorabelle: The OP has explained that it is NOT her dog - it belongs to her parents. She is living in their home. Therefore, she has no power to rehome it even if she agreed with you.
OP: My dog is terrified of children (babies upwards) and thinks they are going to hurt her (she clearly had bad treatment from them when she was a stray). I would not keep her in a room near any children - I would put her in another room. We actually cross the street if necessary to avoid walking past children. (If feeling threatened, she will, without any warning, suddenly lunge, snapping at them so, now I know, that is never going to happen again). It seems your parents' dog feels the same. It would be kindest (all round) to keep the dog in a room that the baby (and your sister's children) do not and cannot enter.

pigsDOfly · 02/08/2018 13:31

Your training professional doesn't sound very helpful. Perhaps you need a different one.

Not teaching a dog to be able to be on its own and not get upset if it can't be with you or share your attention does not equal 'loving it too much'.

This dog is fearful of, and therefore dangerous, around children. It cannot learn to bond with your new baby. If rehoming it is not a possibility then you need to control its environment and make sure it never has access to, or is around, your baby.

Keeping the dog on a lead in a room with your sister's children while it shakes and shivers with fear is most definitely not 'loving it too much', it's extremely cruel. The poor dog is terrified and your father is keeping it face to face with the thing it's terrified of.

No wonder the poor bloody dog is 'crazy'.

HomeOfMyOwn · 02/08/2018 13:41

This dog has made her feelings clear - she is petrified of DC. She thinks they will hurt her and thus she will end up attacking one if she thinks can't get away easily enough.

The dog must, at all times, be kept separate to the baby. 1 bite is all it takes to kill your baby, which can happen faster than you can stop it.

The dog needs training now to be locked in X room with something tasty to chew, whilst you are in another room. When baby is put down to sleep, doors must be fully closed to ensure dog cannot enter room.

You may find once your baby is born and maternal instinct truly kicks in, that no matter how much you love the dog, you will understand your sisters feelings. The dog is a massive threat to any child.

sirlee66 · 02/08/2018 13:47

Baby gates at every door and dog not allowed in same room as you and baby unless there is someone else there who can handle, distract and control the dog.

I love my dog too and have a 14 week old. It can be done. Just never let your guard down.

HomeOfMyOwn · 02/08/2018 14:00

Also my brother's rescue dog loves me and is extra attentive and loving to pregnant people including me when I was pregnant with my second DC - it doesn't change the fact that babies frighten her and toddlers terrify her. She is not anywhere near as terrified as your parents dog (brother's dog licks, turns away, sometimes shows whites of eyes and will chose to leave the room) and we still don't inflict making her stay in the same room as young DC. I would never let a child within 5ft of her to ensure they are out of lunging distance of her, always ensure there is an adult in the space between her and the DC and keep DC well away from the dogs room exit routes to ensure she never feels trapped by a DC. She is ok with that and can relax.

Judging by how severely your parents dog reacts to your sisters DC, she is far more petrified and needs the security of being completely seperated from DC for her safety as well as the baby's. She needs training now before the baby arrives to be happy in another room.

HomeOfMyOwn · 02/08/2018 14:03

Your training professional doesn't sound very helpful. Perhaps you need a different one.

Not teaching a dog to be able to be on its own and not get upset if it can't be with you or share your attention does not equal 'loving it too much'.

This dog is fearful of, and therefore dangerous, around children. It cannot learn to bond with your new baby. If rehoming it is not a possibility then you need to control its environment and make sure it never has access to, or is around, your baby.

Keeping the dog on a lead in a room with your sister's children while it shakes and shivers with fear is most definitely not 'loving it too much', it's extremely cruel. The poor dog is terrified and your father is keeping it face to face with the thing it's terrified of.

I agree with all of this 100% (originally posted by pigsDOfly)

Original poster
somanyquestions2018 · 02/08/2018 19:40

So I emailed my animal behaviourist and he said this...

"Generally if you go about it the right way there should not be a problem. The key is to teach the dog to like your baby and all its noises and smells before the baby arrives.

Then yes you have short 10 minute sessions 3 times a day and ‘chuck food’ to the dog! So begin with getting some baby stuff and pretending you have a baby. Get a plastic one and use baby wipes and put on baby sounds and then feed dog. So dog learns to like all this."

He also gave me a link to look at...

https://www.apbc.org.uk/system/files/private/advicesheett_13.pdf

I'm feeling a bit more confident now and tomorrow I will be off to buy a doll and some hotdog sausages. No dog can resist a piece of hotdog sausage!

OP posts:
sirlee66 · 02/08/2018 20:29

Best of luck, OP!

Original poster
somanyquestions2018 · 02/08/2018 20:42

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 02/08/2018 20:50

Come again? You have a dog that is aggressive in general and fearful with children in particular and your behaviorist gave you advice over the phone without seeing the dog and how he interacts with children and without supervising you while trying out behavior modification techniques?!

Hoppinggreen · 02/08/2018 21:24

Your behaviourist is an idiot
They need to properly observe the dog with a child/baby and doing that safely won’t be easy.
This is something you really can’t take any risks with

TimeForANewNameIThink · 02/08/2018 23:24

You ask on an internet forum and EVERYBODY tells you not to mix a fearful, reactive dog with your baby and you choose to ignore all this advice and go with a 'behaviourist' who is quite certainly un-qualified in dog behaviour who gives you 'advice' that 'generally' works. Seriously, are you going with advice that one, unqualified person, gives you, that they can only say generally works when potentially you're babies life is at stake?
I can only hope this is a joke thread.

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