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The doghouse

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inlaws have evicted our dog! trying to understand but fairly frustrated - RANT

18 replies

GrassWasGreener · 31/07/2018 22:54

so my inlaws always keep their dogs outside, their dogs, their choice, I prefer and always have to keep mine inside at night as part of the family and in a warm safe place. The inlaws house is in 2 parts, as a semi detached situation, DP lives in one side and they live in the other. Over the years there have been compromises with where my dog goes when I visit, for the last 10 months or so it was agreed the couple nights I arrive, as long as she is clean (which she always is) she can stay inside. So we bought her a bed and keep her in 1 room and I clean the house once a week even though I do not live there. DP side of house is old and smells musty, paint peeling off the walls, and generally not minded as, especially since my appearance he is at my house most of the time. (I own my house). At the moment I am having works done so have been staying at the house next to the inlaws for 4 weeks, dog has ben inside at night, no problems, she doesn't bark, chew or mess in the house at all.

But today apparently its not acceptable anymore and we were told dog can not stay inside, has to live outside in the shed.... Now I know its not my house and I know I am lucky to have somewhere to stay during the works but come on. Apparently they didn't think the works were going to take so long and they do not believe that dogs are meant to be inside blabla. but she welcome to go into the cold damp shed, what harm they said. She isn't even in their house, its the one next door that is apparently DP house, but today it is their house and they are not having it anymore. sigh

no point causing an argument, it is their property, but it is clear that once married we will never be living here which just makes life much harder for my partner. and why now? Comment was made that he (father inlaw) doesn't want his wife to have to be cleaning the house... what when she never cleans her own she going to start magically cleaning our half? No one even removes their shoes when they walk into to either house, and the floor all old, (hole ridden) lino. Just don't get it.

Just very frustrating to have the goal posts always changing

Needless to say I have not put my dog into the damp dirty shed, she is in my car on the back seat. They tried to say oh you don't have to leave her in there just use the old shed, i said no thanks, my dog, my car, thats where she can go until I go home. But I tell you, I am visiting my house tomorrow and I am telling the builder to get the water connected asap, because roof or no roof, I am going home sooner rather than later. If I had water plumbed back in, I would of left this evening.

the father in law probably freaking out also as we not yet married (we are engaged and due to be married this year) and we sleeping in the same bed. Its that kind of mentality that we are trying to live with. We are both 30+ too. So not as if we are frolicking sweet 16 years old getting up to no good in his house.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 31/07/2018 23:02

YABVU to leave the dog in your car. Dogs can die if left in cars.

BastardGoDarkly · 31/07/2018 23:05

Is there seriously no one else that can have the dog? The car is almost as bad as the shed isn't it?

pallisers · 31/07/2018 23:06

Why are you with this man? He is in his 30s and essentially lives at home by his parent's rules. why are they in laws? Basically the parents of the adult you are in a relationship with made you put your dog out of his house because he is still in a parent/child relationship with them despite his age.

Get an airb&b that takes pets while the works are being done.

Don't sleep over there any more

Dump him - well up to you, but I would.

GrassWasGreener · 31/07/2018 23:07

It's ok, we have rain here now, and she won't be in until 10pm each night and out again 7 am next day. So no risk of getting too hot. Smile she not stressed in the car; if you leave a door open she tends to hop in herself and nap. If she was stressed we would have to go home and just buy water and shower at a friends. Which might be what happens if water not reconnected by weekend.

OP posts:
GrassWasGreener · 31/07/2018 23:33

Glad I am not over reacting to the dog eviction and you all think its a bit mad

pallisers if he had sided with the parents, or this was a new relationship, I would most likely say cya and be gone. However, we together 6 years and although he didn't tell them to F off, he is very angry and he told them we not ever living here full time once married (which is what they want).

Ideally, the parents want him to live, work and be tied to home, so that, much like generations before, he can not leave and when he marries i will move in as wife and take over the women jobs, he can continue to slave away at family business, and bend to parents will until they die. This isn't happening. We were considering at some point as time goes on, renting my little house and moving in to his, doing it up etc but this not standing up to them and telling them he is 30 and controls his own life and house is a disaster.

His siblings have all gone off and disappointed the father in a variety of ways not following his beliefs and tell him they are adults etc, so the fact DP is working on family business and still at home and sees the trouble this causes daily makes him reluctant to upset the father more.

I am going to visit my friend tomorrow who is near me and if she doesn't mind me popping in to shower, we just going to take my dog and leave.

OP posts:
victoriaspongecake · 31/07/2018 23:52

Why not just go to a cheap dog friendly hotel? I certainly wouldn't be leaving my dog in a car overnight and would dump the boyfriend and his family. Tonight.

Lonecatwithkitten · 01/08/2018 07:45

Let me guess the family business is a farm.

adaline · 01/08/2018 07:48

No way in hell would I be leaving my dog in a car overnight!

But your in laws don't have to have the dog in their house either. So you either need to find somewhere else to stay or put the dog in kennels or with a sitter.

TheGoldenWolfFleece · 01/08/2018 07:50

What happens if you just let the dog back in the house?

missbattenburg · 01/08/2018 09:03

Glad I am not over reacting to the dog eviction and you all think its a bit mad

Can't see where anyone has said that?

SlothMama · 01/08/2018 10:19

Can't you compromise and crate the dog over night indoors instead?

BackToTheFuschia7 · 01/08/2018 10:25

So the side your DP lives in is owned by his parents?

WellThisIsShit · 01/08/2018 10:38

Well, they sound very difficult, but where is the boyfriend in all this? He sounds like a wet lettuce! Spectacularly absent from all this drama.

Is he really going to move out and form a happy family with you, or will you be dragged into some revolting shit hole where you are bullied by his parents and he stands by ineffectually letting it happen?!

Floralnomad · 01/08/2018 13:06

You should be over on the relationship board , not in the doghouse , you’ve been with this man for 6 yrs and in all that time he still hasn’t grown enough of a backbone to stand up to his parents . They obviously own both houses otherwise surely he’d tell them to f** off , and if he does own it and still lets them control him that’s probably worse from a relationship POV . Your dog is a pet and used to sleeping indoors , a car is no better than a shed unless you are sleeping in the car as well , just move to a friends / hotel etc until you can go home .

PlateOfBiscuits · 01/08/2018 13:12

Glad I am not over reacting to the dog eviction and you all think its a bit mad

Where did you get this from? The things people are responding to as being a bit ridiculous is you keeping your dog in the car and your DP in general.

LlamaPyjamas · 01/08/2018 13:23

Inlaws are crazy and cruel. Your poor dog is used to living in the house and has now been shoved in a car. I’d be telling my DP that my dog and I come as a package and he needs to stand up to his parents or both me and my dog would be leaving (and not coming back since he failed to stand up for me).

missbattenburg · 01/08/2018 13:34

or both me and my dog would be leaving

If it's the the parent's house, I suspect this is what they would like...

Lucisky · 01/08/2018 14:04

I assume you are in the UK, op. The weather is forecast to get hot again, so a car will get hot before 7am.
Why don't you just ignore them and see what happens. Alternatively could you find a home boarder or kennels for your dog?
However, I would be tempted to front them out. I certainly would not be dictated to like this. You are being treated like a child. They are being very controlling. Dog today, you tomorrow.

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