My dog bit my child, not dogs fault.

[CollyWombles]

She is okay first off, cut her lip a little and just under her eye, gave her a terrible fright. She is 13 and for some unfathomable reason, blew on his ear.

My dog is a rescue. I got him when he was 10, he is now 13. He has never been a huge fan of the children, however he has never bit any of them. The children have all been brought up to be respectful towards dogs and respectful to him in the three years he has been with us. I cannot think why she took the notion to do that.

My stance is that he bit for a reason. It wasn't unprovoked. My husband however, wants my dog put to sleep. My daughter does not want the dog in the house.

I adore my dog, he isn't everyone's cup of tea, he had it rough and I think how he has come on is amazing. I don't think he deserves to lose his home, or his life for biting for a reason.

In the same breath, my children come before any dog and it feels like I can't win no matter what I do. I'm either a bad parent or a bad dog owner. Please help me work out what is the right thing to do for my dog and also for my family.

Ear infections and general ill health become more common with age, so definitely get a vet check, particularly on his ears but it would be worth having a general check up on his overall health, his eyesight and his teeth.

My own 13yo dog's ears were found to be harbouring £100 of bacteria a few days ago. He's never had an ear infection in his life, we've always took good care of his ears because he's floppy eared. He's also become prone to Pseudocoprostasis. I won't explain what that is in case anyone is enjoying their supper and I wouldn't advise Googling either. I'm changing his diet to chicken, rice and veg to deal with that gem. His poor bowels clearly aren't what they used to be. They do suffer more from these things in old age.

I spent this morning shaving his arse. The 11 year old helped. She's the only person I would trust him not to snap at during such a traumatising process.

Ears are sensitive and blowing into them hurts a dog. Tbh if someone blew into my ear suddenly when I was sleeping I would probably react by lashing out. I think if someone did that to vixdog she would snap, it’s just an instinctive response. My friends had a beautiful rescue dog. She had been horribly ill treated, so badly that they were all in the paper when they rehomed her. (My friends were teenagers at the time) Even after a few years, if we had been out at a party and came in late, we had to be very, very careful not to touch the dog while she was asleep, or she would snap. We think she had been knocked around by someone coming home drunk. Anyway she was a lovely, lovely dog. She would follow me around the house, cuddle up on the sofa, I loved her. We all knew not to to give her a fright by touching her when she was asleep. Your children are old enough to understand that dogs have limits, they are not toys. Would your dd wake you by blowing in your ear ? He is an old dog, everyone knows that older dogs can get grumpy, they have aches and pains like old people. I don’t think you have a problem dog, I think your children need to really grasp how to treat an older animal. Is your dd a bit jealous of the dog maybe ?

No matter how much I loved the dog, I would want my children aged 8-13 to not be afraid that it might happen again. I'd hate to live in a house with an animal I was afraid of. This must be very upsetting for all of you, but your OH's reaction is very natural and my gut instinct would be the same as his.

I grew up with working dogs and dogs for pets. My children were taught from an early age to ask permission before trying to pet a dog, not to lean over dogs, to stroke under the chin rather than the head, offer a hand to sniff and even the signs of an unhappy dog, showing whites of the eyes, tail down, arched back, body weight leant back. I don't know what possessed my dd to blow on him, I really don't.

I will take him to the vet for a check up as advised.

My disdain for heartless shit bags grew from a woman I knew growing up who went on a cruise every three years, got a new puppy when she got home and put it down three years later because she didn't want to pay for kennels. People who treat animals as disposable commodities are disgusting. Don't demonstrate to your children that life is so cheap. Accidents happens and silly behaviour has consequences. Don't be pushed onto something your will regret.

OP - I'm going to be somewhat unpopular here. But when I was around five or six we regimes a cat - just wandered in off the street. Not much more than a kitten and skittish and scared. The cat was on my bed and a sibling turned the bath on full force - cat freaked out and I'd watched too many movies like Lassie so thought the sensible thing to do was to grab the cat and hug him to reassure him and calm him down. Except that's not how things worked and I ended up with a scar on my hand and my face scratched open (think blood dripping from my eyebrow). I learnt an incredibly valuable lesson that day and it wasn't having the family pet put to sleep.
My mother taught me that you respect animals and give them space, that if you do something even unintentionally to scare them that there are consequences. I have lived with animals my whole life and that lesson has always stuck with me - your DD needs to learn that lesson and she needs to take a moment to acknowledge the stupidity of her actions and what she wanted to achieve. The consequences could have been far worse and putting this dog to sleep won't teach her any of them, the next dog she does that to may do a lot more damage

May I just check in with you as to the options you are considering?

i understand that having the dog PTS is no longer an option/

You mentioned either keeping him or sending him back to the rescue

May i just check what the sending him back to the rescue option means?

For a lot of dogs this means PTS. Are you saying that in this instance. sending him back to the rescue means just that? And he will have a future home despite his age?

We have always been very clear with our DC that they have to respect the dog and give him his space as if he bites them he will be put to sleep as it would be unsafe to keep him in the family home and we couldn't in all fairness just pass the danger on to others. If the rescue can take the dog back this would seem sensible, the dog doesnt sound like a good choice as a family dog.

A vet check is sensible. He might have sore ears, or he might be in pain somewhere else and she leant on him and it hurt. I had an old dog when my children were small, he had a spinal problem and the girls both grew up knowing they had to be gentle. I was very careful as although he was incredibly tolerant I knew he was in pain at times and so more of a snapping risk.
Hopefully your dd will have learnt that what she did was a mistake and will be extra gentle with him now.

The cuts are small and did not require a&e

I think she does

www.nhs.uk/conditions/animal-and-human-bites/

DD was in A&E last night with the same injury - cleaned and antibiotics given

My DH's ( then BF ) family dog nipped me a few times before ripping my face apart resulting in needing several surgeries from a plastic surgeon ( I was 18 at the time)

I was a musician- my embouchure was destroyed and it made a significant impact on my potential career. My future PiL buried their heads in the sand and didn't do anything about it.

Apparently the vet put his face near the do, antagonised it and then claimed the dog was not a danger to anyone  despite my surgeon saying that the injury I had sustained was a "savage, not a bite" and it should be destroyed. I had to endure going round their house for a number of years before the dog died of natural causes... ( what a shame..)

Many years later my own beloved, aged, senile dog snapped on me without any injury thank god but he was put down the day after as I would never have been able to cope with my own young DDs being affected the way I had from a dog bite because I couldn't/ wouldn't make a really difficult decision.

So sorry. But you know what you must do ... either PTS or rehome

At 13 the daughter is plenty old enough to understand that there is no reason to be afraid of being bitten by the dog as long as she refrains from actively provoking him. It's her fault that she got bitten, again she's old enough to understand that, and the dog shouldn't be made to suffer for it by losing his life or his home. Dogs are sentient beings who should not be expected to just passively tolerate anything and everything that people decide to do to them as many seem to think.

I don't think the 13 year old is genuinely scared. She's ashamed and embarrassed and, like most 13 year olds would, is lashing out to deflect attention from her stupid behaviour. In a few days she will have new drama to focus on.

So the poor dog has been harassed and has responded as you'd expect a dog to respond, and now he's at risk of losing his home and his family. What a terrible shame, basically the dog is being punished for the child's bad behaviour.

My dog once bit my DH. He poked his face in the dog's face while she was in bed resting and showing very clear signals that she wanted to be left alone. DH needed stitches and was left with a scar on his nose. The dog was not pts and DH got a right telling off because he should have known better than to provoke the dog, which has never bitten before or since.

OP, my rescue dog bit my youngest ds (then 7) 4 years ago this week. Dog was fast asleep and ds bellowed, "NIGHT NIGHT" in his ear as he went to bed. He knew not to but did it anyway, and the dog leapt up and bit him on the face.

We went straight to A&E and spent 3 days in hospital, including an operation to clean and stitch his cheek and lip.

I knew it wasn't the dog's fault, and so did ds. Ds begged to keep the dog, so we had him checked out by the vet (fine) and paid for a behaviourist to see him. We worked with the behaviourist on a training plan, got a crate for the dog as his safe space, and ds relearned how to be a safe and responsible dog owner.

4 years on and ds' scars have healed, and he and the dog are safe together. I think dog tolerates ds rather than adores him but ds worships him. We've recently got rid of the crate but dog has a corner of my room as his safe space if kids are getting too much, but rarely bothers with it (apart from fireworks season, when he pretty much moves in).

I am so, so glad we did not return to rescue, which is what exH wanted. They would not have PTS but said he would stay with them as a kennel dog as they would not rehome him. None of us (apart from exH) could bear the thought of that so we put time and effort in to making things work, and we did it. That said, had the behaviourist found signs of aggression I think he would have had to return to rescue as the risk would have been too great.

In my opinion your dog didn't attack your daughter, she pretty much attacked him (in his head) and he snapped. He's an old man, they often get more impatient as they get older. My lab loved children, but once she turned 11 she couldn't tolerate them anymore. Any dog you get is going to get old and slow down, kids have to respect that.

I'm probably in the minority, but I think sending a 13 yr old dog back to a rescue isn't kind, particularly when it adores you. At that age he'd struggle to understand. Personally, if you all decide he can't stay after you've slept on it, I'd have him quietly put to sleep with you rather than passing him on. I say that as someone with a houseful of rescue animals and fosters. I think it's cruel to put an elderly dog through adjusting to a foster home and then adjusting to a further home. It would be sad, it wouldn't be his fault. I don't think he's going to attack unprovoked- and an 8 yr old should be old enough to learn to give an old dog space (particularly after this!). I think your dp and dd are probably in shock.

DHs Dog that bit me was totally unprovoked- I did nothing. - I was stroking him at the time- stupidly I was on the floor and the dog on a chair at face height... absolutely no question he should have been destroyed.

Maybe a bit of a different situation to yours but personally wouldn't take the risk.

@TTCI, we are animals, but we are something more than animals.

I was raised on a farm. I have eaten animals I have seen being raised and killed. I have seen dogs being put down because they attacked the chickens. I respect animals and believe that they should be treated humanely and should suffer as little as possible.

But in my view, a child's wellbeing ALWAYS comes before a dog's, and if a dog attacks a child - for whatever reason - the dog has to go. In your Disneyfied view of the world things may be different, though.

I'm sorry for what you went through Brigit. It sounds horrific but to offer a little insight, it's not advisable to be face to face with a dog. It's something they find very threatening and is probably what went wrong. I'm not saying PIL were right to keep the dog, as you say it went on to snap and bite more. At the very least it needed some serious training and to be kept away from strangers but I would say the provocation was being face to face. Very few dogs bite for nothing or without warning. The problem is, many of us, even good responsible dog owners don't fully understand canine behaviour. We miss the subtle warnings they give until it is too late and we do things they find upsetting out of love (i.e sitting face to face to pet them).

It wasn't your fault, of course, you didn't know. It is up to dog owners, in this case your PIL, to educate themselves and make sure guests behave appropriately around their animals.

This post has made me so sad. I have rescue dogs. They are NOT the same as a socialised, well bought up dogs, they all have issues big or small from whatever they have experienced. I don't have adults around my dogs let alone children because it stresses them too much.
Please don't get your dog pts, he was reacting to a situation. Your DD is scared right now, but please teach her that a rescue dog is not a fluffy pooch that has had a trouble free life. He was reacting to a situation that he shouldn't have been put in in the first place.

Was it an intentional bite or a clumsy air snap? Puncture wound above the lip and scrape below the eye sounds like a startled dog giving a warning that went wrong. If a terrier wanted to bite a human face, there would be a lot more damage.

You need to have serious words with your teen. At 13, she should know better.

OTOH, one of the DTs rolllled off our bed this morning and landed on top of a sleeping dog. There was a big woof but no teeth. If he’d done that to our other dog the outcome could have been much worse. She’s a new rescue who’s frightened and snappy so we manage her. Carefully.

Talk to your DD about her behaviour around the dog and step up your training and management.

You said the dog snapped when next to you on the sofa? Do you think he was guarding you?

Your daughter caused this situation with a thoughtless, clumsy act and now wants him returned to the rescue? That would make me really angry actually. Dog loses his home, you lose your dog because she was thoughtlessly unkind. No. I'd tell her to wind her neck in and take a look at herself.

She’s 13, she did a stupid thing, PPs advocating to give her a bollocking when she’s still sore and in shock really is quite nasty.

Maybe she’s jealous of the dog, you say you adore the dog, it clearly is very close to you.

I'd train the kids to be responsible with dogs and to know their boundaries.
They have brains, they know what's right from wrong.
I might even call the social and put them in to care if they don't follow such basic commands.

*Well I trust that every time you leave the house from now on the dog will be muzzled and on a short lead, unable to ever get within biting distance of anybody.

If you want to put your own children at risk then that's up to you but I hope to god you do not endanger anybody else.*

Hear hear

Blowing in a dogs face would be annoying but no dog that I know would react by biting the child. There's no way you can guarantee he won't be provoked like that again.