Helping pup to be by himself

[sleepwouldbenice]

Hello all
Looking for advice on the above please. DPup is 18 weeks old and a cocker spaniel. He is very friendly and has been with us 8 weeks. What goes with this, understandably, is wanting to be with us. In addition he wasn’t the brightest thing with toilet training so I did spend lots of time with him in the early weeks (on wee alert) so hes not been that used to being alone
Where he is at at the moment is that he will happily go into his crate for peace and quiet and a sleep. In there now snoring away on his back…..(No problem at all unless the cat wanders by …..but that’s a different topic.) I can nip to the shops, do whatever etc, subject to below
The problem I have is that he only wants to do this on his terms ie being tired. So this means that:
• Once his nap is done he wants out of the crate – so how long I have for freedom is dictated by his nap so might only be half an hour. He wont wait patiently for my return! (I watch him on webcam) – starts waiting to be let out, yipping etc (I wait before letting him out)
• Its currently only when hes tired – so the school run, school sports day etc which are first thing hes not tired enough really and also would only briefly nap so back to above problem
So the problem isn’t really his crate its that he wants to be with us when hes awake. In addition I cant help but think that sometimes he gets overtired as he is always on alert as to where we are rather than just chilling. So how to take this forward and foster independence?
Crate users – is this just a normal step and carry on experimenting with leaving him for the longer /varied time until he clicks? He has moved on an awful lot in the last couple of weeks in terms of napping more deeply and not always being on waking up alert so maybe this will gradually extend? Would love to hear your experiences please
Or should I start leaving the crate open and he can do what he wants on waking? Few problems with this. He is largely toilet trained but has been a bit slow (couple of accidents a week and some of them he shows no interest in going outside hes just forgotten..) so want to keep on top of this. Also the room the crate is in would need a puppy safety overhaul. Its not bad but can see a few things taking a battering….. Perhaps over a week or two?
Or really do I just need to increase the independence outside of the crate ie leaving him in the kitchen alone many times a day and going in and out lots when hes awake so he simply accepts being alone more?
Ultimately in 3 months time he will spend one day a week home alone (with no more than 3 hours at a time) and of course we do occasionally need to go out and about doggyless hence this goal

Thanks for reading and thoughts welcome

Personally I wouldn't let him loose in the house unless you were totally sure the rooms were puppy proofed.

Maybe you need to concentrate on getting him used to chilling without you. I have a cocker and I used to leave him behind a baby gate whilst I used to go and do other things in the house such as cleaning. Yes he used to cry but quite frankly it was a 'stampy foot I want to be with you cry' rather than a distressed cry so I would ignore it. Very soon he realised that if I was going to do other stuff it was boring time and he used to go and put himself in the crate to sleep until I was done. Maybe something like that would teach him to rest a bit more on your terms?

My ddog slept soundly only with a big dog toy duck!!
Nerf do some fab truly indestructible stuff you could leave with your ddog safely.

I got my dog used to being left alone by increasing seperation slowly.
So we had a dog gate on the lounge door as apparently it’s better to have the dog more confined to one room initially with the crate in when you’re training them for seperation.
I would close the dog gate and leave the room for a minute and not make too much fuss when I went back in the room. I then increased to two minutes. Then I started incorporating going out of my front door for a minute, then two minutes. I did this repetitively each day always increasing the time.
She has absolutely no seperation anxiety at all so this way worked for us and she now has full run of the house when we are out.

Hi all

thanks for your thoughts. Well hes still driving me potty! I decided to mix it up - sometimes in the crate, sometimes not. short periods of time and longer (up to an hour). sometimes just upstairs, sometimes going out, various doors etc etc

His response varies so much! sometimes literally not a glance up, other times starting to get quite distressed. There is no pattern that I can see at all. When he does get distressed I don't rush back, hes doesn't need to toilet etc so really don't understand why the stark differences in response

I don't know which way to turn - don't want to create a long term stress problem but also not a long term independence issue either!

Any ideas?

I think cockers are quite a needy breed anyway.

But you may find he just doesn't like being left - not all of them do, even though some people will leave theirs for hours - for other dog owners the reality is the dog needs to come with them or go to daycare.

I don't think anyone saying "he'll get used to it" is helpful either. Some dogs get very distressed on their own and will harm themselves due to nerves, fear and anxiety.

Have you considered getting a behaviourist in to see if they can help?

Hi

thanks for your comment. He really does drive me potty - today he's mr chilled. The odd whine but I have been away from him upstairs and various places for much of the day and none of the panic of yesterday... hence my confusion!!

Does it depend maybe on whether he can hear or see you?

Mine is seventeen weeks (we have a beagle) and he's quite happy for me to get on with whatever so long as he can get to me if necessary. He hates if I go outside without him but if I let him sit in the garden I can do whatever I need without worrying.

They are a pain but so worth it!