Constant pattern of being accused of hurting dog

[Welshgal1]

My parents got a dog and me and my OH live about 10 minutes away and aren't allowed a dog in our flat, but massively love dogs and with my parents working so much and me and my partner having different shift patterns to them, we take her out about once a week minimum, often more.

We've been doing this for a while, like over a year and she has the time of her life. We go on long coastal path walks, let her run wild on massive beaches, take her to loads of different places woodlands, mountains, beaches, lakes etc.. she always has an amazing time. Running round tail wagging playing fetch, we never over do it and always ensure she's hydrated and everything. She has so much energy and is only young and even after these long walks she demands to play fetch for hours after we take her home.

My parents do work a lot, so she spends a lot of time cooped up inside. When they do walk her it's just up and down the road outside their house. I don't judge them for that but I do always think I'm glad me and OH take her out because it feels like she gets to let all her energy out.

Anyway it keeps causing arguments between me and my parents. As they keep texting me after I drop her home accusing me of doing something. They say she's doing nothing but cower in the corner, whimpers and doesn't want to spend time with them. A few days later she returns to normal and is fine with them but there's an obvious pattern of she spends 1 or 2 days with me and OH and then goes home and isn't herself for days

It's getting to the point my parents don't want us taking her out, they think we're overworking her or forcing her beyond her comfort zone. I am a complete dog lover, I don't want to do anything to hurt her, we obviously tested the waters with these long walks before we started going on so many and I have no reason to suspect she's suffering at all.

Hit breaking point today as both my parents are in work and they texted me saying since I dropped her home yesterday she won't come out from her bed and is refusing to eat or do anything and they think she might die and asked me to keep an eye on her. Obviously I panicked and drove straight down there and got a massive greeting, tapping away happily tail wagging and licking me to death.. spent half hour playing fetch in the garden and she happily eats her food. I just don't know what to think?!

Sounds like she pines for you when you go. Are your visits very regular? So she knows when to expect you? I'd try to have a regular schedule, including some shorter visits, more frequently. She loves and misses you.

I think it's clear the dog wants to stay with you rather than go home.

How old is the dog? Because if it's still very young it may be too much exercise but if adult then perfectly acceptable to be out for a long time assuming you have built up to it and the dog is fit and healthy.

How old is she?
I doubt very much that she is pining for you or misses you tbh

Anxiety- she might be unsettled about her situation. She’s going from lots of attention to long periods on her own and isn’t enjoying it. You’ll see similar reactions from dogs who come home from kennels etc. They almost sulk (if dogs could sulk). Dogs love routine but it sounds like she’s not got much of one? Might be worth speaking to a behaviourist but until then it might be best to leave her be, as hard as that is for you.

What breed and how old?
It is quite possible the dog is in pain, either muscular from excessive activity, or may have one of the many joint problems starting that some breeds are prone to. The dog won't notice it until it has rested and the adrenaline has worn off. Dogs can also make (wrong) associations with pain, it might know that when it gets out of its bed after walking with you and having rested, everything hurts, and it somehow thinks your parents are responsible.
I would think the dog needs to see a vet, and next time you walk it, just have a quiet on the lead amble to see if it makes a difference.

The dog is pining for you... Why did your parents who work a lot and don't take her further than the end of the road when they're not, get a high-energy dog? They're being incredibly unfair to her.

I think the dog is sad when she goes back to your parents. She obviously loves you and all you do with her.

Dogs need companionship, they are not designed to be left on their own for hours, they like to be out adventuring which it sounds like you do for her.

To put your parents mind at rest surely the dog is very excited to see you, make sure you go round when they’re there so they can see the dogs reaction, dogs let you know if they like or dislike someone

There is some routine - we have every Thursday off so she gets a long walk, somewhere nice every Thursday. Throughout the rest of the week then we may just take her for an hour or two down the beach, sitting down with her just playing fetch and she'll curl up in the shade in a pub beer garden if we stop to grab some food.

We've had her since she was a puppy and we've had her for 2 years now, I didn't take her out much the first year as we lived further away but it's been over a year of us living nearby and walking her regularly.

I am not ignoring the fact it could be pain, but only this morning she was apparently so bad they thought she was dying and I was there in a heartbeat and she was so excited and fine? I don't want to leave leave her alone on the off chance it's unsettling for her to come out with us when we're the only time she gets out further than a walk round the block on a lead and she always seems so happy. Plus we love her dearly and would really miss her.

She's a Maltese crossed with a Yorkshire terrier. Adorable and very energetic little thing.

Ok so the age sounds fine for long walks. However don't discount pain, my dog has been extremely ill (requiring vet admission) and still rallies a greeting with tail wagging. Maybe a vet check would be advisable anyway, firstly to discount any pain and also perhaps that would put your parents mind at rest if you were to both go and discuss the behaviour.

I would also want to get a vet check.

Dogs can be in pain and hide it well - so her response to seeing you is to be up and energetic for exercise because that is what you do together despite the pain. However with your parents she has a more chilled life so it is more obvious when in pain also soft tissue damage is usually worse after the exercise than during it.

Half an hour of fetch is way too long for any dog and cause a large amount of injuries so I would cut back on that.

She will not be pining for you and lying in her bed longing for you to be there. Dogs live in the moment.

It could also be the extreme difference between the exercise that is causing her problems. So little exercise for days and then a mega walk a couple of times a week is not great for her. Could you look at doing more brain work with her as she is not fit for the level of exercise you give her.

Nah, she's pining for you - she doesn't want to live with your parents now she knows what fun it is with you. My previous dog (now deceased) lived with me in Greece for some years but I was actually based in UK and had to work in London so she was boarded by next door neighbours in Greece whenever I had to come back to UK. They were rather authoritarian (German, so lots of rules for all their animals) and I like to have a free and easy atmosphere. She would apparently always spend the first 10 days or so after I left being depressed and quiet until she adapted to their lifestyle again. One happy time, I was able to finally bring her back to UK to live with me all the time and we were both much happier for it. When I went abroad for the odd holiday after that and she had to board with professional home-boarders, she would go on hunger strike for a lot of the time, so I couldn't go for long.

You just have to meet her to see the amount of energy she has. She doesn't go on long walks with my parents but is constantly hyperactive running around house dropping balls by my parents feet until they give in and throw it for her. Never seen a dog so obsessed with fetch she could do it for hours (not that we do)
We've always had dogs and they have all lived long happy lives, we do know how to treat them and she doesn't have anything forced on her, I've never met such an energetic dog in my life. There's no stopping her. I have never seen her how my parents describe her, even when I go and stay at theirs for a few nights she's hyper and will continually drop balls at your feet until you've got about 10 there and have to throw one. I really don't believe she struggles with the exercise.

Will book a vet visit anyway, thanks for the advice

“I really don't believe she struggles with the exercise.”

It’s not about energy levels though, if her long walks are only once a week, she’ll not be that fit, so she could well be perfectly happy doing a great long walk, but have sore muscles for a day or two afterwards.

She is more attached to you than your parents

I have collies they will work, chase balls until they drop - that does not mean it is good for them. It is up to me to regulate their exercise.

I picked one up from the vets after cruciate surgery and he picked a ball up as he walked from the car to his enforced crate rest - he would even have played fetch 24 hours after surgery -dogs do not know what is best for them :)

As I mentioned before it is fantastic that she does have energy but some of this can be absorbed in brain games which is much better for her. Try scent work or hide the ball and get her to find it. This will be as tiring as non stop exercise and hopefully keep her more comfortable

Going from doing not very much most days to the days she spends with you which sound incredibly full on maybe too much for her.

You say in your OP that she still wants to play fetch after she's spent hours on a walk. Sounds very much like you're over exercising her and when she gets back home she can't wind down. Or as pp said she could be in pain after a very active day.

It is possible to over exercise a dog and given that it only happens after she's been with you I'd be looking at toning it down a bit if I were you. Something isn't right with her and I very much doubt it's because she's pining for you.