Can I learn to love my dog?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Adopted a dog in December, my children adore her. But she drives me crazy, she's so boisterous and is always jumping up on me. And don't get me started on having to pick up her dog poo 🤢

I'm not and never would be cruel to her but I want to love her. Is it likely to come in time or is mild annoyance at her the best I can hope for. As I said, the DCs adore her so she's definitely staying with us, rehoming isn't an option.

Does she get enough exercise? How often do you walk her and what type of dog is it?

How old is she? Just wondering if maybe a few training classes might be a good idea. It would definitely help with the jumping up bit!

It might be good for you as well, to build up a bond with her . Unfortunately the poo is never going away

I know what you mean. I have just taken on a 7 yo rescue who is nothing like my beloved lurcher who I lost last year even though she has whippet in the mix.
For the first month she was hyper, needy and we did not gel at all. Remembering previous rescue dogs I know a rescue can be a challenge and a settling in period for both of you will probably morph into you falling in love with her (unless she is really nasty or vicious- but you say your children love her.)
You are probably doing most of the walking/training - the hard stuff and find it difficult to notice her good points.
I have had my diva of a dog for nearly 2 months and I have felt like letting her go a fair few times. Then this morning she seemed a bit off-colour and I was 'worried about her' so I realised this is a bit of a turning point and if only I could stop comparing her to previous rescues who also tried my nerves and patience we may be able to get along.
You don't mention breed or age - both of which may be relevant
Try and get your children who adore her be more proactive with the playing with/ training of the dog.

I’m the worst hypocrite for saying this but train her. Then you and she will have a more balanced relationship.

Exercise is most likely the key to this. What breed is she op and how old?
For example I have 2 mongrels. My Springer collie was very hard work until the age of around 10.
My terrier cross was easy after 1 yr old.

If definitely recommend some training classes - they'll help you with the jumping up, and working together does tend to promote bonding.

Dog trainers do vary in quality enormously, so look for someone APDT / IMDT accredited, Dogs Trust Dog School etc. as you know that they will meet certain minimum standards and not promote punishment based training

She's a 4 year old pug/staffie cross (I call her a puffie!). She probably could do with more exercise I can certainly try that. I'm lazy though so I kind of resent walks.

Agree with the PP who said exercise too - a tired dog is a good dog as they say (mine is horrible if he doesn't get his exercise, and lovely if he does)

That will be it then, not enough exercise. It helps to calm them down and tire them out. A bit like you wouldn't keep energetic children inside all day, they need exercise.

I have to wonder though, you don't like walks and don't really seem like a dog person. Why get one in the first place!

MyGastIsFlabbered I say this as from a place of non-judgement but if you resent having to walk a dog, hate picking up poo and don't like them jumping on you but don't want to or are unsure how to stop them - why did you get the dog?

What were you hoping for when you got her? What kind of interaction were you looking forward to? That might help us understand ways you can get more of what you want (though we cannot reduce the need for walks or the amount of poop).

Staffs go through an extended puppy stage i have found, so you need to go back to basics & just keep doing them. Mine at 9 was still a shit for jumping sometimes, it's like she forgot!

Kind of second pp tho; if you resent walking her & cleaning up after her, why get a dog??

are the children old enough to get involved - walking etc? It sounds as if it all falls to 'mum' - no wonder you resent it.

To be honest I thought I was a dog person...I had dogs growing up and like them but I'm wondering about it too now. But the DCs wanted a dog desperately although at 8 and 5 they're too young to take on responsibility for her.

Another problem is that her recall isn't great so when he do go for a walk she has to stay on the lead. She has a retractable lead but I feel she really needs to be able to run. I'm just too scared to let her off it.

Is your dog quite food motivated?

You could take a bag of small treats out. When you call her and she comes back you give her a treat. Helps to train. Could try starting this out in an open space so you can still keep an eye on her.

She's totally food motivated!

Exercise isn’t everything. Of course they need a certain quota but you need to mentally stimulate dogs as well to really tire them out.

Otherwise you end up with a fit dog that ends up needing more and more physical exercise to tire it out.

The FB group “Dog Training Advice and Support” can recommend a decent trainer/classes near you.
Tbh I wouldn’t put too much faith in an APDT trainer just because they’re APDT; I know of at least one who uses aversives like rattle cans.

Your dog needs daily walking and also training. Perhaps some obedience work. Are you using a harness with the extending lead? They shouldn't be used on a collar. A longline might be worth a try.
I'm working through the book Total Recall with my dog. It's great.

You’re right to keep her onlead if her recall is iffy. Retractable leads aren’t great though. You’d be better off with a long line. Horses lunge lines are fine. I especially like biothane long lines.

YY to Total Recall.

You haven't had her long so you may just be in the equivalent of 'new dog puppy blues'.

Could you afford a trainer to help you work on recall or perhaps occasionally hire a secure field?. Honestly it would depress me if I had to just walk my dog on lead so if you can find ways to overcome that all the better as walks become more fun.

Why shouldn't you use and extendable lead with a collar? Gosh I feel so clueless now and I thought I was an experienced dog owner.

Omg she's lush! Such a gorgeous face. How old are your DC? Could they be in charge of some brain training? Mental stimulation is so important & will tire her out too. Plus it will be a great bonding experience for DC & ddog.

Second a horse lunge line, they're a bloody god send. Collar + retractable lead can potentially = neck damage. I'm not a fan of extendable leads they suck imo (seen far too many snap); a harness & lunge line would allow for some 'free' running & training safely.

Maybe have a google for a secure field you can rent? Or an indoor riding school? Allows for free running & some brilliant training opportunities

OP the force of the dog running and the lead retracting could cause a neck injury. Best to use with a harness.