Encouraging our dachshund to quietly accompany GCSE DD....

[loveyouradvice]

We have a very funny wire-haired dachshund... and a DD doing GCSEs this summer.

She loves the idea of him just being in her room while she is studying .... he hasn't really got used to doing this and tends to walk around and disturb her.

Any ideas how we might encourage this? At the mo, chewing a bone and getting him his own bed for her room at the only ideas we've come up with....

Are we asking too much? We're aware that having had builders in the house for a few months he is not as well-trained as he was...and does now have an annoying habit of barking when he doesn't get his own way which he didn't before.....a wee squirt with a water pistol has cured this in the past.

Maybe she should just crack on with her work without him? The idea of the gently, companionably snoozing faithful hound is nice but it sounds like the reality is different.

Take DDog out for a good long walk first. If DD takes him, she will also boost blood flow to her brain and be primed for revision!

I’m looking at my almost 3 year old papillon and thinking absolutely no way. At 3 they’re still babies in term of energy and attention. There’s no way he’s settle and let DD2 study for her exams (she’s studying for Australian A’level equivalents).

I think this is one of those occasions where just because your teen wants something doesn’t mean she’s going to get it.

I replied to this on the second post where OP also asks how to get the dachshund to sleep on her daughter's bed when he doesn't want to. I spent ages trying to word things tactfully but MaitlandGirl sums things up perfectly. It's a dog not a study aid or a teddy bear.

Did you really want a living, breathing dog - or a stuffed toy?

This is just bizarre!

Teaching a dog to settle is a great thing to do. However, it sounds like you want the dog to effectively sit in a room for many hours whilst your DD studies which I don't think is fair on the dog. You can't just expect a dog to settle for hours for a few weeks whilst your DD does her exams without first training him, which can take many weeks, and then ensuring he gets enough mental and physical stimulation in between.

With this post and your other one about wanting him to sleep on her bed even though he clearly isn't settled seems to me that you are putting your DDs wants above what is right for the dog. Whilst you can train dogs to do things you need to be mindful of their needs and preferences otherwise you are going to have a frustrated and unhappy dog.

It's a dog. Not a toy. Let the poor dog wander and be a dog. He is not there to satisfy the whims of your daughter. She should be cracking on with revision and you should be keeping the dog out of her way as the walking round and barking will distract her. It's a dog FGS not a study aid. The same with your other post about him sleeping on her bed. I think you need to stop pandering to your daughter. Its a dog.

The only time our dogs will settle and snooze in dd's bedroom is when there is an empty crisp packet in her bin. They are lulling her into a false sense of security so that she'll pop to the loo or whatever then.....bang, they're on it and crisp packet is out of the bin and down the end of the garden to be 'ravished' in secret.
Why not buy her one of those fake dogs that make the breathing movements. Dogs and GCSE revision papers aren't a good mix. Some primeval memory kicks in and they harken back to their puppy days when shitting on newspaper was being a 'good boy'. Pages of maths formulae could be lost.

Get a cat they sleep on beds for 20 out of 24 hours in my experience, that or try to sit on the revision notes until they are removed from the room.

I'm currently revising for my final year exams so can understand the need for comfort. Just let the dog do its own thing and use study breaks for cuddles/playing.

Thanks guys! And especially to dottie for being so super-tactful on my other post....

You're right .... his settling while she revises more than he already does is probably unreasonable... so while we've been successful in his sleeping on her bed those nights she's keen to have him there, we're sticking with the occasional companionship while revising... so having a good chew or snooze after a walk... but roaming free otherwise. And definitely fabulous for exercise and fun in those study breaks - effortlessly pulling DD into the here and now.

Just curious - absolutely I'm putting DD needs before the dog's.... while making sure I'm being fair to the dog! Isn't that what having pets is about - looking after them responsibly, but helping them fit into your lives as appropriate? And I've been hugely impressed by friends' assistance dogs for a huge range of purposes.... and definitely see our dog as brilliant stress relief, whether playing, walking or exercising him or just hanging out.

Loveyouradvice I’m sorry I failed to stay tactful, got a little exasperated. so sorry for that. I see having a dog as a process of negotiation between my needs and theirs. Yes I can enjoy walking them but on a day when it’s pissing down with rain my need is to curl up on the sofa, but still have to do the walk because the dog needs it. Similarly I enjoy the interactions that you cite. But dogs are sentient beings who also have needs and I try to recognise that these won’t always coincide with mine. So I also think that dogs need some space in which they have autonomy, so if the dog is lying on their bed, our rule is that we leave them in peace: so that they have a safe space, where they can have time out from interaction. The better trainers recognise this too, think Victoria Stilwell and not Cesar Milan. See also Temple Grandin’s work, John Bradshaw and many others.
These kinds of needs are recognised in other animals more readily so if a cat goes off to sleep on its own it’s not considered odd; if a cat doesn’t want to be held it has the option of wriggling away or lashing out without that seeming undesirable. I think most reasonable cat owners would not find that odd or try to train the cat out of this behaviour. They let the cat come to them. Unfortunately dogs don’t have the same options if they lash out it’s considered a ‘huge’ problem, and if they’re small and cute they are often seen as ‘comfort’ objects rather than living beings in their own right.
Some other posters talk about having dogs with different (or differing) habits: some who like to sleep on the bed, others who prefer to sleep independently. These are examples of living with a dog and finding a balance between one’s own needs and the character of the individual dog. My dog was sleeping on me earlier while I read, I found that quite comforting, as yesterday I brought home the ashes of my oldest dog and still miss having him around, but then she got up and went off to her bed in the kitchen because that is where she chooses to sleep. I would not dream of stopping her from doing that as it’s where she’s most comfortable at night: despite my missing the older dog who always slept in or near the bed. Similarly she loves hugs, this is unusual in dogs, most dislike being hugged, my older dog disliked this intensely I would not have dreamed of forcing him to do that or encouraging him.
I see your point re: assistance dogs, but these dogs are carefully selected as suited to the type of work they do. They are then trained exhaustively and over long periods of time by experts, in addition there are a large number who are dropped from these training programmes because it turns out they are not suited to that kind of work. I agree too that interaction with dogs can be brilliant stress relief but like us they have moods, quiet days, times when they are tired that don’t always coincide with our needs, and it doesn’t seem unreasonable that we should respect that. I also think that they are very useful in teaching children about ‘empathy’, not seeing other living beings as just being there to serve their needs. A useful tool in creating successful relationships. And let’s face it if the last few generations had lived in that way we might not have the unprecedented level of species extinction that we now have or the ever growing environmental blight. A consequence, in no small part, of not considering a balance between our needs and the needs of the other species or the world that we inhabit.

Completely understand your DDs wishes. My DD is doing GCSEs too and the dog is a great help to her. Luckily she is more than happy to snuggle next to anyone who invites her, especially on the bed. DD calls dog her Therapet as she’s such a good calm aid. Wishing both our DDs good luck!

Just curious - absolutely I'm putting DD needs before the dog's.... while making sure I'm being fair to the dog! Isn't that what having pets is about

I would argue that your dog is doing nothing wrong. He isnt barking and disturbing your DD, he isn't doing anything negative except showing you that he isn't particularly happy to sit for hours as a study aid to your DD as he isn't settled.

Therapy/assistance dogs are trained by people who know what they are doing and can assess whether a dog has the right personality for it. You are asking for your dog to be an 'assistance' dog without any of that.

My dog sleeps on the floor of my bedroom. He likes to sleep elsewhere until much later when he comes and settles on his bed in our bedroom. Like your DD I could force the issue and get him to sleep in our bedroom when we do, or I could recognise he isn't doing anything wrong and is showing a preference to sleep elsewhere first and perhaps my wants in this case don't trump his.

I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time. My dogs - a hyper active staffie/border collie cross and a 15 month border terrier cross happily sit under my desk for large parts of the day while I am working. They have the run of the house but choose to sit wherever I am. They would not want to sit with my DC if I was there, but probably would if I was out of the house. I think your DD would need to be the dog’s owner in the dogs mind - if it’s primary attachment is to you, then the dog will not want to sit with her.

I can see why your DD would like the dog in the room, but I think she would need to have already developed a strong bond, My Dd revision companion was the cat - again he chose to sit in her room and was more than happy to listen to physics equations and French verbs. I hop her GCSEs go well.

hope not hop

I think what you may be failing to see is that the dog is doing his job absolutely perfectly. Your DD should take regular breaks from study, the dog realises this and is trying to ensure that she does.
My dog comes and touches my hand when she feels it’s time for me to take a break. I don’t always agree with her but it turns out that she is always right

Thank you ... our little guy is great and I've found all this feedback hugely helpful.. he is definitely finding the balance of supporting DD that works for him - and her..... Often choosing to sit on her lap while she is sitting cross-legged on the floor, going through stuff... other times roaming off where it suits him and coming back to distract her, either successfully or unsuccessfully !

Good luck kashgar with the gases!

Loveyouradvice thanks for being so gracious at being 'lectured' at; I hope your daughter does brilliantly in her GCSEs.