How to say goodbye

[canIhave4please]

My wonderful working cocker spaniel aged 13 has over the last 6 months to year has been steadily going down hill.

I bought him when I was 22 so he's very very special.

My husband and I feel the time has come for him to be at peace. We do feel sad, but also at the same time we don't, we want him to go with dignity and not be forced in to making a decision which means we've left it too long for him.

My question is how do we tell the kids, when we (hubby and I) were little, our parents just sorted it and we talked afterwards. But my children know he's old (they've been telling their friends over the last 2 years that he's old and will die soon ) but I don't think they know what that means they're 5&6.

We've had horses go but that hasn't bothered them, and a cat that ran away that some times upsets them when they're tired and want to know where he is.

Sorry for the long post I am emotional but I want to be able to talk/tell them about it without myself welling up.

Any tips/support welcome. Thank you for relaxing.

Thank you reading that should say! X

I can't offer any advice but sorry you're going through this it hurts my heart thinking one day I might have to be in the same position 🐶 xx

I'm so sorry it's time for your dog, but well done for doing it sooner rather than later.

My children are adults now, but when we faced something like this we usually just booked the vet to come to the house when the kids would be at school. We would tell them that it was time a day or so before, but try to keep it as positive as you can, so that you let them know it is better for the dog and he's had a very happy life with you. They might like giving him a special dinner or going for a nice walk if the dog is able.
They are usually pretty stoical about things like this and might just surprise you how well they cope. I hope all goes well when the time comes.

No advice to you as we lost our spaniel yesterday. Utterly heartbroken but I think it isn't important to do it at the time best for your dog, which it sounds like you are doing. We don't have kids but I think explain to them in simple terms that he is old, poorly and not as happy as you would like and that being pts is best for the dog. Make it clear that it doesn't hurt the dog and he won't be scared cos he doesn't know what will happen. If it helps the vet was amazing with our boy yesterday and he was very happy and relaxed when he died. It took a couple of seconds and the vet came to our house. And I think it isn't ok for them to see their mummy is upset too and it is ok not to bottle feelings up. My parents never displayed a healthy range of emotions when I was little and it is something that I have struggled with because of that. I think it is ok for them to see that adults get upset too. Deepest sympathies to you all - it is such a difficult time

My son was 5 when we lost one of our dogs. I explained to him that while he was going to school the next day, dog would no longer be here because he was very unwell but he had had an amazing life with us. Son was sad but accepted it and had lots of cuddles that morning with him before he went off to school.

Our dog was cremated and we let our son decide if we were keeping the ashes in an urn or if he wanted to scatter them. Son wants to keep them so we have. It's completely his decision what we do with the ashes.

As fennel said, give them an opportunity to say goodbye, be factual but minimal with details unless they specifically ask, and don't be afraid of getting upset - it's good for them to see its ok to feel sad and miss the dog - or not as the case maybe. When we lost our cat when my dc were similar ages one howled for 20 seconds and was then fine, the other said oh - can we get a rabbit now?

So sorry for you, but you are of course doing the right thing

I think everyone has given good advice, but I would be careful with the choice of terminology in case the term put to sleep gets confused with the kids going to sleep / being put to bed

Euthanased may be a term that's not going to be confused with other concepts

No further advice to add, but I do empathise with you.

I faced this with my almost 17 year old cat last Christmas morning after a very sudden and sharp decline meant an emergency trip to the out of hours vet.

My "children" are virtually grown up now, with the youngest being 15, so I didn't have the question of how to tell little ones. They understood, and I had gently mentioned the possibility that puss might not be coming back. Even so, I think they did hope and I couldn't stop them doing that. It wasn't to be though.

I still have a labrador who is almost 14 mow and a cocker spaniel who is nearly 13. Both fairly well so far, if rather deaf and slightly creaky. I have a feeling of being on borrowed time, and know that realistically there will be the inevitable hard decisions over the next couple of years. I hope I will get it right, as you are.

for you. I know how you are feeling. It is the final kindness, although that doesn't make it any easier.

Thank you all for your support, we said goodbye to him this morning.

It's horrible at the moment, but he's at peace and we can remember the good times.

The kids aren't really sure what's happened, but they said goodbye, and that is what counts. X

again OP.

I know. It truly is a horrible moment. Remember the good times, the funny times, the times when they were mischievous but ultimately made you laugh.

I'm nearly 5 months on now. It is getting better. Sometimes I think I can still sense my cat around the house, scratching at the door to be let in even though he had a cat flap, knocking stuff off the kitchen worktops etc. I watch out for him when I get my car on or off the drive, as he used to try and police it. I feel he is still with us, just at peace now and no longer suffering.