Dog for an anxious boy

[BiggerKnickers]

My lovely 15 year old son is desperate for a dog. He is kind, caring and sensible and has his heart set on a pug. He suffers from anxiety and I think having a special bond with a dog would really help. We could offer a dog a great home with lots of country walks (if that's what he/she needed) and plenty of attention at home (there is always someone here - or I could take into work), and would be committed to training etc.

The downsides are - we have three cats, I am worried about health problems in pugs - can we find one without breathing/eye problems (don't mind a cross breed ), how could we make sure that the dog bonds with him and not anyone else in the family? - should he/she sleep in DS's room? Puppy or older dog?

Sorry that's a bit of a ramble but basically I am asking all you v wise MNers whether this is a good idea for a young person with anxiety - and of course whether it would be fair on the dog too. Thank you

I'd steer you away from pugs on health grounds - and the fact that the vast majority of them are coming from puppy farms. Good luck finding a responsible breeder of cross breed dogs too. Naturally you get to bypass the issues of puppy farms when you get a rescue - but the health problems of pugs remain

Apart from being fashionable, what attracts your son to a pug? You need to think about practical things such as exercise and grooming needs and go from there.

I would always advocate going for a rescue - you get to avoid the arsehole bitey puppy stage, ethical sourcing considerations and usually basic training is in place. A calm older rescue dog might be just the ticket for an anxious teen who wants a companion, rather than a bouncy puppy (who inevitably becomes a challenging teenager)

What's the plan when your son moves out, which may only be three years away? The dog won't be allowed in university accommodation and landlords that take dogs are like hens teeth.

My advice would be to avoid a puppy - you could not guarantee the final personality and so risk not getting the end result you want.

This (imo) is a great circumstance to rehome a dog. Not all dogs in homes have issues and of those that do, more often than not they can be fixed with consistency. It means your son gets to meet the dog and you can see which ones bond with him and which don't. It also means you know the dog's temperament and can find one that is just what you need.

In terms of bonding, though - being the primary caregiver really helps. This means your son being the one who (primarily) feeds, walks, fusses, trains, plays with the dog. Is he up to that?

PS instead of specific breeds I would consider contacting local rescues and saying what characteristics you're looking for - a cat friendly, calm older dog for instance, and seeing what comes in. You may find the perfect dog in an unexpected shape and size.

To promote bonding with your DS he should be the primary care giver - feeding, walking, treats, training all come from him. However, you ultimately will struggle to stop the dog doing the entirely healthy thing of bonding with other members of the family, so it's going to be about making the primary bond with your son. My dog is a definite one person dog, to an unusual extent, but even he professes a mild liking for my flatmate (as he throws balls) and a great love for DF (as he dog sits and provides everything when I have to work away).

Thank you for all the great advice. I think the liking for pugs is partly because they are fashionable but also to do with size and personality. - so maybe a border terrier would be a good choice - something like that? Personally I'm more of a fan of big dogs (especially Bernese mountain dogs - just lush!) but this isn't about me .

Yes, absolutely take on board that the dog is likely to form a strong bond with whoever provides the majority of care so we would have to make sure that is the case. At the moment my son has no plans to leave home at 18 but obviously that could change (especially if he starts to feel less anxious) so I guess we will have to cross that bridge as we come to it.

A friend suggested a retired guide dog - would that be an option do you think?

I think you'd find yourself on a very, very long waiting list for a retired guide dog. There's a limited supply, they often go to friends and family of the blind person and people line up to take them because they're so well trained.

What aspects of a pug's personality are considered attractive? The Kennel Club has a good online breed finder, which is a useful start, but of course doesn't account for individual quirks and doesn't tell you about the perfect individual mutt at your local rescue. Even something like a staffy could be a good option - I know some fab rescue ones including one owned by an elderly lady who swore she'd never own a staffy because of their (undeserved) reputation, but has now had a string of them

If you're prepared to keep the dog and become primary care giver after he moves out it's not an issue - but you wouldn't want to end up with a 30 year old son who can't leave home until the dog kicks the bucket! It's probably another factor in favour of an older dog.

We have a vizslador (chocolate lab-vizsla cross) which I would highly recommend.
There's a beautiful boy at dog's trust in Wales. He's a vizslador named George and I am almost certain he is a brother of my boy from another litter. I am thinking of taking him myself but I'm not sure we could do two dogs right now.
George has lived with cats. We also have a cat and the dog is absolutely gorgeous to the cat (sniffs his bottom , grooms the cat, and is just a beautiful soul).
Anyway, if you want loyalty and total devotion and a love of walking, a vizslador is a beautiful cross. There's a FB page if you want to explore more, OP

Aw George is gorgeous! I am going to take the advice to contact the local rescue centres with details of our circumstances and see what happens. We can wait for the right dog (maybe not until DS is 30 though! Still laughing at the thought of this huge manchild refusing to move out until the dog has died!).

Love staffies so could be a good option. Thank you Avocadoes

Adult Cavalier King Charles from many tears rescue?

Cavs do have tendencies for health issues - esp because these not likely to be health tested - but oh my goodness such lovely temperants!

I understand an issue with rescue is often you need a resident dog though.

Ive heard a lot of very good talk of whippets as family pets - would never have considered before but many people have told me so.

Vizlas (spelling?) - adorable. A vizslador - I didn't know there was such a thing and now I want one!

and yes to staffi - LOTS in rescues because they have such a bad rep and horrible people buy them and throw them away - but they can also be ADORABLE

I've only heard of resident dogs being required in special circumstances such as ex puppy farm breeding dogs that have totally missed out on socialisation and need a friend to show them the ropes. Lots of Many Tears dogs are ex puppy farm, but tbh I don't think the OP would be looking to take on a dog like that anyway.

I see more dogs that need to be the only dog in the home tbh.

I don't think we would have the skills to help an unsocialised dog at the moment but an older dog who is tolerant of cats and children sounds perfect. Maybe like Scrappy? www.rspca.org.uk/findapet/details/-/Animal/SCRAPPY/ref/176598/rehome Love whippets too!! Anyway, lots to think about - how long does the rehoming process take do you think? Would be great if we could have something in place ready for the summer holidays

Scrappy looks brilliant! If you want something in place for the summer holidays, I'd start now. It's always good to get on some books and start looking as the right dog might not come along immediately (unless it's Scrappy...)

Do visit all your local rescue centres, fill in their home finder forms, have a good long chat with them, even if they don't have the perfect dog at the time.

A Staffy would be fab, there are so many of them and they love to chat and to play which would be great for your son.

We have a Whippet office dog who I'm in love with and would never have considered them before. He's very cat-like, very quiet in the office but still has his mad moments when out and about.

That's great, thank you all so much.