I would love to get a dog, but...

[Treehugging]

I need some advice from experienced dog owners please! I’m a single mum with one child of five, and I live in a flat and work (school hours/ term time only). I love dogs and have been desperate to get one for a long time but I’m not sure if I have the right lifestyle for it, because of going to work. I’ve also had people say it’s not fair to have a dog in a flat. What do you think?

I have some experience with mini schnauzers and have read that they’re a breed who cope relatively well with periods of time to themselves. The longest time would be 7 hours, twice a week - but I am thinking I could afford to pay a dog walker for an hour those two days? Of the other five days a week there would be someone around all day for three, and about five hours potential ‘alone time’ for the dog the other two days. Overall, does this sound doable/ acceptable for the well-being of the dog?

I don’t want to be selfish about it but it would really complete our little family if we were able to do this.

I would be looking at getting a slightly older dog who needs rehoming, not necessarily a schnauzer but a dog breed which is relatively independent. Any suggestions welcome. I’m off for six weeks over the summer so thinking that would be when we’d look at getting one, to give him or her some quality time to get settled in.

Please advise.

Having a dog in a flat is hard work, I know because I've done it. (Oh, the relief when I got a house and garden and could just open the back door).
The problem I could see here is that every time you need to take the dog out, what are you going to do with your child? E.g. last thing at night, when the dog will need a last trip out, are you happy to leave your child asleep in bed while you go out for ten/fifteen minutes? I don't think I would. Of course, this does depend on the set up of your living accomodation. A dog would be just as much work as an extra child, and they are very restricting. It's not just you being at work, for which you sound like you can make adequate arrangements, it's all the other times, like shopping, social life etc, where you will probably not be able to take the dog with you. What are you going to do with it then?
Personally, in your situation, I wouldn't.

Lucisky is speaking a lot of sense.

I have seen dogs kept quite happily in a flat but it took:

• them being older and very regular in toilet habits
• being taken out 5 times a day (7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm, 11pm)
• someone prepared to get out of bed take them out at 2am when they have an upset stomach as all dogs tend to at one time or another
• someone prepared to spend almost all their spare time walking, training, playing with the dog

Only you know if you can offer all that.

You would need a walker for your 2 x 7 hour days.

Thanks Lucisky. I did think about that as well (taking the dog out once dc is asleep). There’s a quiet space out at the back of the flat I could go for five minutes. Does that sound workable? This is the kind of thing I need experienced advice on - I know I’m possibly getting carried away and not seeing the potential pitfalls.

My social life is pretty quiet tbh and I don’t mind it like that - in fact it’s one reason I thought a dog might potentially be doable, as outside of work I’d be happy to be around the whole time and work things round dc and doggy. Yes it’s reatrictive but I don’t travel, eat out really (or very occasionally).
Also my dc’s dad is around the corner from us and we are good friends. He starts work late morning and is happy to take the dog for a good walk before he does (he’s round anyway for school run).

I still don’t know for sure it’s the right thing, I’m trying to be realistic and listen to my head and not heart so please don’t hold back on telling it like it is!

Five hours is too long. 4 is the recommended maximum.
I think you will struggle TBH. Few rescues will have the exact breed you're after and they would be less keen on a working home in a flat.
You can't tell how a dog will cope with being left simply based on the breed. Mine doesn't cope at all.
How about volunteering for the cinnamon trust? A dog to walk as little or often as you like without any of the cost or commitment?

If you are looking at dog walkers also look at daycare as it tends to only be a bit dearer and then the dog is looked after for several hours when you are at work.

I’m sure I’ll be called cruel here but I leave my (large breed-large bladder) dogs for 8hrs a day. Never messed inside and don’t suffer from separation anxiety. Now I’m aware I’ve been lucky with my dogs and some dogs won’t cope. However they are down stairs in the lounge/diner with no access to the garden - ie like a flat would be. So I don’t think that the flat is necessarily a problem in that respect. Obviously they need to get into the routine first and this takes time so to start with they will need to be taken out regularly and this will be awkward in a flat.

As for the breed, I think it would be down to the individual dog whether they can cope being left alone. Not much experience with schnauzers but my friend has a miniature sch. and she is very yappy!

8 hours a day IS cruel.

If your renting check your lease can you have a job and also that you can give a copy of the key to the dogwalker to get the dog. I know someone who got into major trouble with the landlord because the dogwalker has a key.

I personally would not have a dog in a flat just because of the practicality of toilet trips BUT it's your life and your decision. If you think you can make it work then give it a go. You'll always get the know it all types who say you can't do this, can't do that, you're being cruel if you do that - but if you would be able to give doggy lots of love and a happy life then that is the main thing.

I'm not sure how rescue centres would feel about rehoming a dog in a flat but it's worth researching. Unless you rehome privately - although you would need to be careful here as you may be unaware of any health issues/historical problems etc.

Ok

The combination of a flat and being alone with a child is an issue, how do you work that if your DS is unwell, if the dog gets an upset stomach and needs out more than normal, when it’s pouring with rain and freezing cold and your DS just doesn’t want to walk?...

Honestly, it’s not ideal.

If it were me, I’d get an oriental cat (Siamese etc) it’s basically like having a dog that doesn’t need walking.

If you decide that a dog is not for you, have you considered other pets like guinea pigs/hamsters? I know it's nowhere near the same thing but having any kind of pet is lovely and your DC would love it.

I’ve got a dog in a flat, it’s fine, my elderly dog just had a terrible bout of tummy trouble and it was grim but we cleaned up. I do regularly leave my dc on their own whilst I take the dog for a late night relief trip.

If you’re planning on having a second dc at any point I’d think twice because the juggling is harder with the under 5s, to get them anywhere quick that they don’t want to go is hard...

I’m a long term flat dwelling dog owner and I’d say it’s comolletely doable, but it is harder than having a garden and my dog hates being on his own.

Have you borrowed dogs for a week or two to see how it goes? Could you sign up to be a host family for a dog sitting service, to see if you’d want that level of commitment?

I know friends with dogs in New York have essentially litter tray trained their dogs for those emergency ‘I’ve got to go’ situations but puppy/elderly and tummy upsets aside there aren’t too many of those.

I can’t see why it would be a dog welfare issue as such, as long as your dog is getting enough walks and regular toilet breaks!

I would whisper ‘get a cat’ in your ear though from the point of view of them being a lot less work and cats not feeling lonely!

I think getting a dog is a lovely idea. As long as you're willing to walk him / her seeing as though you're in a flat. I don't think the working hours are a unreasonable amount of time for a dog to be alone for. It's lovely that you're considering getting a rescue dog. I'm sure they'd prefer your company than a rescue shelter

I have an adult rescue dog in a flat - she is often 5 hours on her own between me and/or dogwalker. Similarly with my previous adult rescue dog. Both were fine with it. Someone earlier has said the dog needs 5 walks a day (!!!!! - why?) - mine gets 30 mins before work, one hour with dogwalker, 45 mins- 1 hour with me in the evening on a working day and 5 mins out for a wee at bedtime. It is agreed with my dogwalkers (2 alternate) that the dog gets a whole hour of their time and she is walked alone as I think that is nicer for her and their attention is not distracted by other clients' dogs .At weekends I walk her only twice but for much longer - sometimes 2 hours. I leave the radio on for my parrot and I think the dog seems to like that too (we have classic FM as parrot likes to whistle along). You also have to consider what you will do with the dog if you go on holiday. Glad you are thinking about an adult rescue. Don't know where you live but Battersea Dogs Home is really good and hopefully can match you with the right dog (plus, they train them to sit, stay and walk nicely on a lead if they possibly can! - I was really pleased to find my dog could do all this when I got her - just needed a bit more reinforcement but she had the idea already).

I said the dogs I knew in a flat were taken out 5 times a day and thought it was clear - they needed to pee every four hours (small dogs, small bladders, but unfair to ask them to regularly hold for longer as they would typically start pacing at about the four hour mark).

Thanks for the replies. I’m still mulling it over but I think possibly it would be a mistake to get a dog sadly. I won’t be able to afford to pay a dog walker/sitter four times a week which would probably be needed. A cat is a possibility but it would have to be an ‘inside’ cat due to where I live. Not sure if that’s ideal for the animal either!

Some rescue cats need to be indoor cats. (I wouldn't get a kitten.) Deaf cats or FIV cats can't go outside.