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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Our dog died today.

20 replies

Skarossinkplunger · 05/04/2018 19:04

She was very much our dog, but in reality she was my husbands dog. He’d had her for 13 years, since he rescued her from being used as bait for dog fighting. I’ve only been around for the last 3. She became ill last night and deteriorated very quickly. We took the decision to have her euthanised this afternoon in advice from the vet. I’ve lost dogs before and I was devasted but always dealt with the grief on my own. My husband is inconsolable. Any advice on how to help him?

OP posts:

LLO7 · 05/04/2018 19:08

So sorry for your loss. My advice would be to let him go through whatever emotions he needs to- sorry I'm not much help just didn't want to read and run.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/04/2018 19:26

We found it helpful to break our routine - so going out for a coffee and a chat at the time when we'd normally be doing the afternoon walk, that kind of thing. Sorry for your loss

DramaAlpaca · 05/04/2018 21:04

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard, I know

Yogagirl123 · 05/04/2018 21:12

for you, I know how tough it is. Take it easy over the next few days. Remember you have made the hardest decision today, out of love for your pet. It was the right decision, guided by your vet. Never easy I know.

Original poster

Skarossinkplunger · 05/04/2018 21:33

Thank you everybody for your kind words and advice.

OP posts:

Inkspellme · 05/04/2018 21:35

I’m sorry to hear this. We had a dog of similar age put down just before Christmas and it’s gut wrenching.

I would keep reminding yourselves that the decision was rotten but necessary and the alternative was to watch a much loved pet in pain.

You made the right decision.

Hanspannerly · 05/04/2018 21:41

So sorry for your loss. We lost our dog a few months ago and it’s heart breaking. Honesty, you just have to feel the emotions and let them work their way out. I found getting fresh air and wine helped me a little.

simbobs · 05/04/2018 22:18

Lost our beloved boy in November, completely unexpectedly (tumour). Now have new pup. Hard work, and inevitable comparisons, but has helped. We weave these creatures from a different species into the fabric of our lives, and their eventual loss hits us so hard. I was surprised actually by how hard I did take it, even now if I see a dog that resembles him it reduces me to tears. It just takes time and some distractions.

Wornoutbear · 05/04/2018 22:22

I'm very sorry. We said goodbye to our girl a year ago, they break your hearts. Much love to you

SleightOfMind · 05/04/2018 22:27

It’s horrible isn’t it. I’m so sorry.
We lost our ancient, lovely girl just two weeks before Christmas a couple of years back.
That sounds melodramatic but we’d planned to go away for the festive period and it really helped not being in the house in the immediate aftermath.

As a PP said, break up your routine a little when it starts to weigh too heavily.
Balance this by just letting him talk it through. He will need to express his grief as well.

Little furry heartbreakers they are. Sound like your dog had a lovely life with you and the good memories will balance out the loss in time.

CuddlesAndShit · 06/04/2018 12:10

I'm so sorry. We also lost our old dog yesterday and I am totally heartbroken. It sounds like you are doing the best for you dh by just letting him grieve and get his emotions out.
I can't get my darling boy's final moments out of my head (he was also pts) so it might help to talk about the good times with your ddog and the funny things she used to do, so that they are what he focuses on instead? Also give yourselves this weekend to be kind to yourselves, get takeaway if you can afford to and watch absolute rubbish on the tv, you've had an awful shock - even if it's expected. Life will always go on as normal, but there is nothing wrong with taking a few days to hibernate and grieve. Unless of course your dh wants to keep busy and distracted, in which case just take his lead. We all deal with things in our own way.

I am really struggling with my loss but am praying that time will make it more bearable, so sending much love and strength to you both. Your ddog was very lucky to be so loved

bilbodog · 06/04/2018 12:29

So sorry to hear this - we lost our gorgeous boy only 2 weeks ago so i feel your pain. I have found it very cathartic looking at all the photos we have of him - remembering how he was when younger and all the things he did which were funny or even annoying. He will always be in your hearts.

StaplesCorner · 06/04/2018 13:40

So sorry for your loss - we found the following things helped:

we had our dog cremated, kept the ashes in a box then buried them under a new tree
I used the Blue Cross pet bereavement helpline which was amazing, stopped me going mad
then after that we raised some money for them with all the neighbours in his memory

Finally we had a slate plaque engraved with his name and dates.

Please do look at the Blue Cross website.

Original poster

Skarossinkplunger · 06/04/2018 17:21

Thank you everyone. We’re really feeling it today. My husband keeps breaking down. I feel at such a loss.

Our other dog is clearly feeling it too as he uncharacteristically clingy.

OP posts:

CuddlesAndShit · 06/04/2018 17:48

We are feeling exactly the same today, it has really hit us. I know it's not much consolation, other than it's perfectly normal to feel so bereft. Wish there was a magic solution to make it better.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 06/04/2018 21:38

I’m so sorry. My husband was the same when we lost our old boy. Ironically he was worse before the actual event. He knew it was coming and it broke his heart. Once it was all over he was better. He was still grieving and very tearful but the deed was done. We have our boy’s ashes in a beautiful pouch in the drawer beside our bed. He liked to slope off up to our room for a quiet nap and now he’s always up there sleeping with us.

TerfWarz · 07/04/2018 19:00

I'm sorry for your lost x

Tinkobell · 09/04/2018 20:20

So sorry OP and @Cuddles for your losses, it is truly truly awful! 💐💐 we lost our beloved westie in Jan. To be honest, it's only in the last couple of weeks I've felt normal again, not spontaneously crying. You just have to allow yourself to work through the grief in your own time. My DH went to work as normal on the Monday after he died (Sat) and actually it would have meant a lot to me if he'd been able to take that day off....so if you can do that for your partner it really helps. Also some flowers or something just as an acknowledgement of the dogs life. I find it very pitiful how many people don't somehow value the loss of a loved pet the same as a person.....they are a fully member of the family and the pain is very intense. Be assured it settles in time.

turtletime · 09/04/2018 21:02

What a wonderful thing he did by saving her. I'm sure he'll be waiting for your husband on the other side.

DeadButDelicious · 09/04/2018 21:46

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's thoroughly, thoroughly shit.

Just let yourselves feel what you feel. I freely admit that I was utterly distraught when I lost my dog last year. I slept with her blanket, cried buckets of tears, I was a mess for a good while. It does get easier in time, I can talk about her without breaking down now. I still shed a tear for her from time to time and I miss her terribly. We have her ashes in a lovely casket, I felt so much better when she was home.

Lots of love to you.

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