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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Old dog - how long?

35 replies

bilbodog · 18/03/2018 20:38

Sitting here in tears - just had a conversation with DH about finances which really just boils down to the fact that our dog is costing us a lot of money now and he doesn't want to pay it any more. Dog is 14.5 rescue border collie - the most beautiful family dog you could wish for. Weve had him since 8 months old. For the past 2-3 years costs have soared as he is on medication for heart murmur and arthritis in all 4 legs, the back ones being the worst. Now costing between £200-300 per month including insurance and all his meds.

Dog sees vet every week for free physio and acupuncture and doesnt think the time has come yet.

Weve just had a massive row about this - i know its costing us a lot but you cant put a value on the love we have received from our dog. My DD will be distraught when the time comes - i cant put him to sleep so we can have some meals out and a week in the med!

Has anyone else been in a situation like this?

OP posts:

LEMtheoriginal · 18/03/2018 20:41

Are you buying the medication from your vet? Are they covered by insurance? In your shoes I'd cancel the insurance and ask your vet for a prescription and buy the medicine online.

missbattenburg · 18/03/2018 20:52

Oh, how awful for you all. This is just such a tough issue.

The reality is that your dog cannot have too much longer left, anyway. Whilst it is obviously impossible to know, he is now at about the average lifespan for a collie and not in excellent health. This limits how much longer you will have to pay for him naturally.

Is there any way you can talk to the vet about cheaper options? I am not medical at all so don't take these examples literally but could he have pain control for the arthritis rather than whatever he gets now? If he took them along with a joint supplement like yumove could he still get a reasonable quality of life - even if it's not the absolute best?

With his heart murmur, what happens if he doesn't take medication? Is there any alternatives he can take that might not reduce the risk of heart failure as much as you would like but keep him comfortable and happy?

Ultimately, though, I agree with you (but then I would - I'm sitting reading a dog forum) - if you can afford it without risking your family home and security then this is what you signed up to when you took on a dog. I think your husband is thinking he has two choices:

Choice 1: a happy family and a £300pm bill for the dog
Choice 2: a happy family and an extra £300 a month spare

In reality Choice 2 looks much more like: a miserable family home, arguments, resentment that impact his relationship with you and his DD, possibly the guilt of not doing right by the dog and an extra £300pm. This is no longer such a great option.

Original poster

bilbodog · 18/03/2018 22:40

Thanks for the replies. The insurance policy is with the local vet - we received free medication for the first 6 months and now pay 1/2 the cost. Also any consultations for these conditions dont cost anything any more. The insurance is about £80 pm now. Hes on cardalis for heart, vetmedin, gabapentin, tramadol and libeo. He was on metacam as well but ive stopped that due to side effects. I dont know if we would save anything getting the meds on line but i could look into it.

OP posts:

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 18/03/2018 23:52

Do have a look at buying online - I currently have a different species on Metacam and what my vet charges £18 for is £4 online...!

Pasithea · 18/03/2018 23:59

Is this not what you expect when your pet gets older. You owe it to your pet to do the best by it. Not just pts cos you want a holiday. , meals out or whatever.

BiteyShark · 19/03/2018 05:09

So he wants to stop paying for medication to keep an otherwise healthy pet alive. I would have sympathy if you were on the breadline but it sounds like he just want to 'live a little' and the poor dog is getting in the way. I couldn't look at him in the same way after that as you now know what his values are.

HuskyMcClusky · 19/03/2018 05:42

Realistically, this situation is not going to last much longer, so I would just suck it up on the cost.

Dogs are beautiful animals who give us unconditional love for over a decade. There is no way I could live with myself if i PTS to save a few grand.

Original poster

bilbodog · 19/03/2018 08:10

Thanks again - i agree with what you have all said. DH will have to suck it up for a bit longer. His tantrum has just come at a difficult time as i am working 4 days this week and he ‘doesnt have the time’ this week to come downstairs to deal with a dog whose legs arent working very well. Ill have to see how it goes. If i have to come home to help the dog so be it. I agree i am seeing a different side to him and i dont like it at all. Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:

Blackgrouse · 19/03/2018 08:36

Finances aside what is your dogs quality of life like? Does he still enjoy walks, can he get outside ok?

I had a Border Collie from a puppy who I had to have pts when he was 14 as his back legs were going and he had a tumour. I knew he didn't have too long left but I was devastated when the vet recommended he be pts. She said she could try him on meds but it would just be palliative and that in her opinion the kindest thing I could do for him was to put him to sleep. I was heartbroken but I'd have been selfish not to do it, I'd have been prolonging his life (and suffering) for myself to have him with me for longer. My family were also devastated, my dd adored him.

BiteyShark · 19/03/2018 08:50

Blackgrouse the OP said Dog sees vet every week for free physio and acupuncture and doesnt think the time has come yet. so it sounds like his quality of life is still good otherwise we would be supporting the OP to do the best for the dog if she or the vet thought it was time.

Blackgrouse · 19/03/2018 09:08

I know what the op said the vet said but personally I've had vets that have recommended treatments which seemed unnecessary or not in my pets best interests.

From my experience with my border collie imo if they can no longer get out for walks and are becoming immobile that is not a good enough quality of life. From the op's posts I wasn't sure if her dog was still able to go on walks or get outside to go the toilet itself.

I don't think the cost should come into it, purely the animals quality of life and if they seem happy and pain free.

BiteyShark · 19/03/2018 09:12

I don't think the cost should come into it, purely the animals quality of life and if they seem happy and pain free.

Absolutely agree. Just seems OPs DH is making it about money.

Blackgrouse · 19/03/2018 09:55

I agree the op's DH does seem to only be concerned about the money but maybe he's trying to be realistic and is coming across as heartless?

From what you have said I can't imagine your dog has more than 6 months to a year left, it sounds like they're on a lot of meds and at the vets weekly. My border collie hated going to the vets so for me that wouldn't have been an option. If your dog is fine with it then fair enough but you are prolonging an elderly dogs life which imo is only worth doing if their quality of life is still good and only you know that.

As for the treatments by the vet being free, the insurance company are obviously covering the cost of these treatments so the vet may not be as impartial as they should be re how long to continue treatment for.

Original poster

bilbodog · 19/03/2018 10:56

He does get out for short walks - no more than 20 mins and he wobbles along. Still likes having a good sniff. He goes out in the garden too. He does toilet outside but has accidents in the house at night but he mostly goes on the throws we put down. Some days his legs are better than others

OP posts:

Original poster

bilbodog · 19/03/2018 11:48

New I had a dog problem to deal with but seems I have a bigger DH problem!

OP posts:

BiteyShark · 19/03/2018 11:50

Has something changed with DH as presumably he has been happy to pay for the dogs care up to now?

Original poster

bilbodog · 19/03/2018 12:39

He’s been recovering from a chest infection which isn’t shifting and the dogs legs been a bit worse lately coinciding with him having some extra work atm and me having to do 4 days this week which is unusual. He’s been grumpy about the cost though for a year on and off. He’s had outbursts of meanness before but realised he was wrong in the past and apologised. The difference this time was the way he spoke to me as well which is unacceptable.

OP posts:

BiteyShark · 19/03/2018 12:45

Ah so generally he isn't happy about spending money then and probably thinks well the dogs old and that's an 'easy' one to solve

Sounds very hard for you OP.

Blackgrouse · 19/03/2018 15:04

If your dog's happy and you can afford the treatment ignore your DH. I would have paid whatever it cost if I could have had extra months with my dog without him suffering.

Original poster

bilbodog · 19/03/2018 15:38

Thanks - that’s what I’m going to do. He doesn’t know yet as I’m not speaking to him and at work now. See how the old pooch is when I get in. Thanks for your support.

OP posts:

Original poster

bilbodog · 23/03/2018 14:59

Sad update - things came to a head on Monday night when dog couldn’t move and his back legs were just giving way all the time. He had accidents in the night and couldn’t move so had him pts on Tuesday afternoon. We are all devastated. Such a shame with the timing of all this with the row and me working this week. I knew it was coming but thought we had a bit more time. Thank you for all your advice which was so helpful at the time.

OP posts:

BiteyShark · 23/03/2018 15:03

So sorry

missbattenburg · 23/03/2018 17:00

bilbodog I am really sad to read your news. It doesn't matter how long we have with them or how much it was the right decision to let them go, it's bloody heart breaking all the same. 14 years is a long time and yet nowhere near long enough xx

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 23/03/2018 17:09

So glad your dog has you on it’s side, my opinion of my DH would completely change if he ever found our dog a hindrance because she struggled with her back legs, ( which she does) instead he always says if they ever go completely he will make her a trolly for her back legs so she can still get around! he would do anything for her and it makes me love him all the more for it. Please don’t let him put your lovely dog down because he wants a few meals out.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 23/03/2018 17:10

Sorry OP just seen your update after I posted. Gutted for you, so very sorry.

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