Will I ever be able to leave my puppy in a room without her wailing the house down?

[merrykate]

I am really starting to worry she will never be ok with being left and I really need some help please.
Got her at the end of December from the Dogs Trust. Staffie cross bull mastiff (they think). She was 12 weeks old and is 22 weeks old now. I was made redundant so decided to take some time off (a year probably) and though it was a great time to get a puppy as I'd be home through the day. On the first night I let her sleep in my room which I realise now was a mistake as she probably would've learnt to settle herself if I'd put her downstairs. She enjoys sleeping in her crate but as soon as I leave the room she cries. I introduced the clicker a few weeks ago which is going great. I have started using this to train her to be alone. I read a technique in a puppy book I have and it's called 'click for silence' I.e. leave the room, click when silent, treat, reward, leave room, repeat. I'm repeating this five times a day. She isn't interested in her Kong or anything I leave for her. I haven't even been to the shops since we got her. Any other ideas? Has anyone had any similar experiences that improved? Is this my life now? Everything else is going well. We go to puppy training and she is learning well, but it's just this aspect that is really getting me down as I have a permanent shadow and it's not always safe to have a puppy at your heels!

I used baby gates and just left the room for short periods where he could see me but I was still in the house. He would cry but I just kind of kept coming and going and not making a big deal of it.

Now if I am cleaning in the house he takes himself back to the kitchen as he knows he's going to be ignored.

I also have a camera on him which streams live to my phone so I can watch him when I leave the house. Due to him having to spend several days at the vets we have had periods of anxiety when being left even though he is no longer a puppy. I found that covering the windows and putting on a radio (music channel rather than a talking channel) helped sooth him.

You just need to work up to leaving him a small amount at a time. Personally a bit of crying was acceptable to me as I could see that he stopped once he realised it didn't help but some people won't tolerate any crying from their puppies but it a personal decision.

Keep at it.

I have a 7 month old springer who was/is exactly the same - would scream the house down when I left the room, even if he was with other people in the family. Never cared for kongs or treats or anything left to amuse him.

He still gets left in a variety of circumstances several times a day. e.g. I feed him breakfast then pop upstairs to brush my teeth etc. I answer the door with him shut in the kitchen. I pop to the shop and leave him alone. He has to get out the bathroom when I want a wee. He has to stay downstairs if I need to pop up for something. We have baby gates on all main access points so sometimes he has to stay behind one while I am in the next room (e.g. behind the gate while I am cooking or in the kitchen when he is muddy and I am in the lounge). We just keep going.

About a month or so ago I noticed his crying changed from something that sounded like genuine worry to more a half-hearted type cry. He also started to give up crying more easily. Sometimes now he doesn't make any noise at all. About the same time I noticed he started to take himself off the sleep - for example, if we are all in the lounge in the evening he often wanders off into the kitchen to sleep alone because he prefers the cold floor. As I type he has wandered downstairs alone to get a drink and play with a toy.

When I leave the house completely he still howls, cries and generally gets himself into a pickle. I am only gone 10 mins but I started filming him while I am gone. More and more I notice little moments where he shuts up and lies down. They might only last 10 seconds before he is up and pacing/crying again but they are there more and more.

It's got to the stage where I am thinking about leaving him a bit longer to see how he does.

I was talking to a friend the other day who had massive issues with their cocker who would get herself into a real state if left as a puppy. She would poo, trample in it and they would come home to find her really very distressed - even if left for a short while. When I asked how they worked through it they said that persistence paid off. They never left her very long but kept leaving her and when she was about a year old she was fine. She is now a 12 year old dog who you would never imagine ever worried about being left alone - she is fine left almost anywhere and will just settle down, sleep and wait.

It's true that some dogs do suffer terribly with anxiety when left and require a different and more gentle hand to training to be alone. However, on the face of it, I would guess your pup is just going through the normal development phases.

If you're leaving the room then going back in when dog is silent and clicking and rewarding there's a danger that in the dog's mind she's being rewarded for you coming back into the room.

Clicking and rewarding needs to be done instantly the desired behaviour has occurred, with no time laps, which is no possible if you're having to walk back into room before you reward.

Have you tried just leaving the room for a few seconds and then returning regardless of her behaviour. Don't reward her, speak to her or make a fuss of her when you go back into the room, just walk in calmly and sit down.

She needs to know that you're coming back, rewarding her when you return will just make her want you to come back in order to get the reward, when what you're aiming for is to train her to feel able to be on her own.

Not had this issue, however I am part of a Facebook group on dog behaviour and see this question coming up alot. It is ran by behaviourists and they have files you can access once you are a member www.facebook.com/groups/374160792599484/ of the link doesn't work it's called Dog Training Advice and Support.

Sounds like you are trying your best so don't worry too much! Our pup was the same when younger but she is fine now. I can't pin it on anything other than her getting used to us going out and eventually working out that we will always come back. It helps her to be able to watch us leave through our glass front door.

Thanks so much for the replies. There's some really good advice her, and I will join that Facebook group. I was crying whilst typing my original post, so sorry if it was a bit all over the place. I really do appreciate the replies and it's given me hope that one day I may be able to do the school run alone and leave my sleeping puppy snuggled up in her crate! I love her to bits but I'm truly finding having a puppy harder than a newborn! I just popped next door to the shop and she didn't cry for the first time ever. Hurrah.

I do have baby gates but she'll still whine constantly or worse, knock the baby gate over (the Lindam temporary gate I bought anyway. I also have one fixed to the wall).

pigsDOfly hmmm I see what you mean. I click when she's silent. I stand outside the room with the door closed. Do you still think I'm rewarding the wrong thing? It's so confusing. It was a technique from Pippa Mattinson's The Happy Puppy Handbook. Maybe I'll try it for a few more days.

I must admit other than for things like sit I found clicker training not that easy to get right iykwim. Don't be afraid to try a different technique if the one you are using isn't working for you.

One of the big things for me when I got my puppy was the overwhelming 'guides' on what you 'must' do or not do. After a while I just realised that I needed to find the right one for me and my puppy.

I don't know, OP, it just struck me that perhaps the clicker isn't the best thing for training a dog to be able to be left. What I suggested is pretty standard practice. If you fancy trying it Google Victoria Stillwell, she goes into that method in a lot more depth. In the end though it's whatever works best for you.

Hope you get it sorted. Dogs can be hard work. I think most dog owners shed a few tears from time to time in the early days.

BiteyShark. I gave up on clicker training completely very early on. I don't think I'm coordinated enough to be able to get the timing right and I my dog didn't seem to understand what the click meant anyway.

Like you say, you have to find what works for you and your dog. I just found some treats that my dog liked, those and lots of praise -
something she loves - worked very well for us for all her training.

I found having a puppy very hard work. I am not sure I could go through those months again.

OP if you have not already then join the puppy survival thread on here for support.

Have you gone back to DT for advice? You'll get discounted rates for Dog School.
www.dogstrustdogschool.org.uk/

Great advice from everyone on here. It just takes time. I know someone who adopted a dog with horrific separation anxiety- chewing through walls etc. They use to go out and come back into the house hundreds of times a day, staying out for various lengths (from a couple of seconds, building up).

I second the baby gate idea, her one side, you the other (in sight), give her a chew/toy and then let her cry it out until she settles. As soon as she settles down, a treat/reward.

Leaving the radio or tv on is quite soothing and you can get calming sprays etc

Having a puppy is extremely hard work but it does get better!!

Pigs, maybe you don't understand clicker training. It's ideal for this type of thing. You are right that the click needs to be immediate but there can be an increasing delay in following with a treat. Obviously the swifter the follow-through for a puppy, the better initially, but in certain situations there is an inevitable delay and that is fine.

Villianous I do understand that as time goes on and training progresses the time between the click and the treat can be increased but I got the impression that the OP was at the very early stages of training at the moment and so assumed she hadn't yet reach the stage when a gap between click and treat would be desirable.

She sounded as if she's struggling a bit with the training, as we all do from time to time, and I was just offering an alternative method.

We do go to puppy training but I haven't found it that useful. Yes, I plan to ring Dogs Trust today for some advice. Yesterday I put her in her crate whilst I did some gardening, so I was popping in and out but ignoring her as I did. The sounds were horrific and she yelped and howled for about 20 mins, with hardly a break inbetween. I let her out only when she was quiet. Thank you for all the advice so far. I really do hope she gets better. For her sake, mine and the neighbours'!

I went to three puppy training classes before I found the right fit for me and my pup so maybe try a different one or even better try one to one classes (which aren't they expensive).