How much does your life change when you get a dog

[swanmills]

My mum always said once she retired she'd get a puppy and she's kept to her word! She's 58, retired last year and is desperate to get a dog Asap.

While I am all for it and think it'll be great for her (especially as she's a keen walker so will be fab for her to have a doggo to walk with) I want to make sure she's considered everything. I've never had a dog myself so am not sure exactly how much her life will change. Could I get a few pros and cons (not negatives exactly but things you just have to consider that you wouldn't necessarily have thought about before)

The main thing to be aware of is that you can't leave your dog alone for long periods (unless you have someone who can pop in in your absence) - so all-day dog-free events such as weddings, for example, can't be done spontaneously. Taking the dog with you on days out/holidays adds a great dimension, but again you have to be conscious that if it starts raining, you might not be able to run into the nearest cafe/pub if it isn't dog-friendly.

If you get the dog as a pup there might be a period of disrupted sleep while pup settles (and you have to get up in the small hours to let them out to relieve themselves until they learn to hold on all night). Also 'dog-proofing' is necessary while pup is teething as they can and will chew anything - you have to get used to putting things out of reach.

Finally, dogs are quite messy - shedding, mud, the odd house-training accident so if you're very house proud you either have to spend more time cleaning or adjust your standards.

I definitely agree that the biggest thing is not being able to go for whole days out without considering arrangements for the dog. She needs to either find someone who will be glad to have her dog (you, a friend, another relative?) or find a great kennel/dog minder (can be costly).

If she gets a puppy it will need a lot of effort put in to train it. It can be a stressful and frustrating process but ultimately rewarding.

You need to consider the cost of food/vet plans/insurance etc.

You need to consider the mess any dog might make.

You need to be willing to walk it every day in any weather.

I adore my dog and she has changed our lives for the better but we have had to consider all the above. I am lucky that my DP's adore her as much as we do and will have her any time.

Puppies are all time consuming and the early days when you can't really get out the house much are stressful but that does pass.

I think the biggest long term issues are you are always planning around the dog because you can't leave them for prolonged periods. I work a couple of short days but still pay for a dog walker to visit and take him out but I always feel I need to rush home after work. No just popping off to the shops on my way back. We're going for a meal at a friends house tomorrow and I won't drink so I can pop home after a couple of hours and let him out and give him half an hour of cuddles before I go back.

Cost is a huge factor both initially and ongoing.

Oh and the mud! Jeez winter has been a learning curve, they are ALWAYS muddy. My washing machine is on all the time.

Walking in the bloody freezing rain and cold two or three times a day over winter.

My garden is trashed.

Having visitors can be stressful with a young dog around as mine barks if I shut him away or gets giddy if in the same room.

There are of course lots of positives but yeah it really is a major lifestyle change! I'm still only 6 months in so still adjusting really.

Puppies are hard work - they require 24/7 care for the first few weeks/months. That basically means you are limited to staying with the puppy at all times or taking him out with you. Not many places allow dogs in the coffee areas so for coffee drinkers this limits where you can stop off. They cannot walk far so for a keen walker than means very limited walk options as they cannot leave the pup but he cannot walk more than a few mins.

They require lots of interactions (letting out into the garden, cleaning up after an accident, removing objects they shouldn't have). This means that you get up /sit down more than 20 times an evening. I never considered that and my legs got a bloody good work out in the early days!

You need to get up through the night at first - for some people this might be tricky (I base this on my own mum who is about the same age and would never be able to keep getting up in the night but yours might be much more sprightly).

Any dog can develop behavioural challenges (and most do to one degree or another) that require training and correction. A basic understanding of learning theory helps (just understanding the difference between reward and punishment and when each is appropriate). Some challenges are harder than others. For example, for a keen walker a dog with rubbish recall is a nightmare. You want one that loves walking and is happy to be curious about surroundings but ultimately sticks with you.

Stiles! Big dogs are tricky to get over stiles and many walking routes use them. Having a dog you cannot carry limits the walking routes you can take if you are the only human on the walk.

Holidays require more planning and may even require tailoring to the dog. Dog care is expensive (£20 a day) if you leave the dog behind and people have requirements from the dog you might not be happy with. e.g. lots of places require dogs to be neutered but as an owner you might be concerned about the health risks of neutering and want to avoid it. The alternative is to take the dog with you but that obs limits the kinds of holidays you can go on.

They cost money. Lots of money.

They can make the house filthy (breed dependent). My springer brings mud in twice a day, every day. They means I hoover and steam the floors every day.

All of that sounds negative. Obviously, dogs also give you a great deal of fun and laughter and companionship. They give you the impetus to get out and be active every single day and pretty much guarantee you will end up talking to people while out. Dog people talk to dog people and you get to know those that walk similar times and routes to you. Dog owners are statistically fitter and happier than non dog owners.

They also make great hot water bottles on cold nights (the dogs - not the owners).

The trashed garden! I no longer have a garden. I have a space outside where most of the mud is kept.

Someone tell me the lawn will come back :)

Trashed garden is probably breed-dependent - my dog is small (a Cavalier) and has never affected the garden, despite bringing lots of mud in from it whenever it's raining!

From what I understand, long-haired dogs like mine are the worst for bringing mud in, and obviously shed hairs are longer and quickly noticeable.

Has your mum got a particular breed in mind, or is she looking for a mixed breed?

Puppies are really hard work, and can be very tiring. Our latest dog we got last year and I am in my sixties now, and I have found it much harder than any of the pups I have had in the past, and I think that is down to my age. Also, a couple of months after we got her I had to have an knee op. which made things even more difficult., although it was an incentive to get better quickly.
You can't do anything spontaneously unless it involves the dog too, and even that requires thought as dogs aren't welcome everywhere and you can't just leave them in the car.
The benefits are huge though. Keeping fit through walking, socialising with other dog walkers, the known health benefits of having a pet etc etc. It is hard work at the start, but it gets better quite quickly.

Negatives- dog hair, dog smell, cost, always having to think of the dog I.e can't stay out too long, holidays are tricky as need to either take the dog or pay for a kennel
The extra cleaning, did I mention the smell?

We had a dog for years, and Ioved him, he was very well looked after and very happy
But my god I would never ever ever get another one!

Is she someone that wants to go on holidays lots in her retirement? She'll need to factor in dog sitting as a cost (£30/night here) unless she has willing friends or daughters

It's a good job I'm not house proud as a dog means the house will never be spotless

No lazy days in PJs where naff all gets done - the dog needs to be walked

It's all worth it though!

Cons
Toilet training was exhausting. We followed the 1 week method of getting up every 30 mins day and night to take him outside to toilet which worked but oh my days it was so tiring ! And he was a nervous sleeper for those first few weeks to so would wake up at night crying for us just like a newborn would. We ended up having his cage at the bottom of the bed for the first month we had him then we weened him out into the hallway then into his space in the sitting room where he sleeps now.
Cons
The food allergies
Unbeknownst to any dog owner when they get a pup they can end up with one with allergies of illness which is what happened to ours. He's currently on an expensive kibble which is the only thing he can tolerate eating without vomiting or pooing himself. So she should prepare herself for the cost of something like that happening
The pros
He is absolutely the best thing that ever happened to us and he is the best fur baby ever ( im biased because im his mum )

^ we have a greyhound btw which means every sunday we have a lazy day all day where he doesn't get walked and sleeps all day which he loves. Greyhounds are the best of both in this sense because they can go for a trek through the countryside all day or just sleep all day

I think people have covered most of the cons.

Puppies 24/7 and unbelievably tiring. Then they become teenagers and pretend that none of the training you did happened. Finally they settle as an adult.

Everything has to be planned, no long shopping trips or days out unless you have someone on hand to look after them.

Cost of insurance, flea and worming treatments, food, toys, leads/harnesses adds up and that's before things like dog walkers or dog boarding. Training costs but I think essential especially if you are new to having a puppy.

Mud and hair. Depending on the cost you will need to think about grooming and cost of groomers. Any dog that runs off lead is going to bring in mud so after his daily walk mine has to be hosed down and dried. My garden is ruined because not only does he pee on it he also plays on it.

So after all that you might wonder why anyone bothers getting a dog. They are the most loving and loyal friend you could ever imagine. I hated it when he wasn't around (illness so was at vets) and whilst I still go on holiday without him I miss him more than I ever imagined. My house without my dog no longer feels like a home. I love him so much and getting him was the best thing I did despite the lack of freedom and sleep

She needs to do her homework on the breed to work out which is best for her. I’ve had a collie who had boundless energy and needed walking constantly. A Lurcher who was v lazy but destructive and I’ve got 2 terriers now so again lots of walking and a trashed garden (we knew this). The breeds can be so different.

The biggest thing is that you can’t leave them alone for long periods of time and holidays, you either need to know of a good kennels/sitter or factor them into your holidays and days out.

That said they are great company and I’d nit be without mine

Would she consider an older rescue dog? We are retired and have just taken on an 8 year old terrier.

Cons Financial impact. House never tidy she leaves her toys everywhere. Muddy prints and dog hair everywhere. Water bowl always down. Needs walking in all weathers. Can’t be left for longer than 6 hours.

Pros. We absolutely adore her. She makes us go out and get exercise instead of being stay at homes. She is so funny and entertaining, loves playing. She is not destructive and is good at toileting outside.

Best of all, when she came she was very nervous, but in 2 months she has grown in confidence and loves us and responds to us.

I would never have a puppy as I could not devote the time to training or stand The destructiveness.

My mum’s dog was sick every time in the car for the first two years.

If your mum uses public transport, check local dog policies. It's fine on national rail and TfL (universally allowed and free), but other places have strange policies e.g. In Manchester they're banned from the trams and certain bus companies charge £1 (but let small children on free FFS). If your mum uses the tube and there are escalators she'll need to carry the dog as paws can get trapped.

Taxis can also be a challenge - there are perpetual problems with taxi drivers not taking guide dogs (a legal requirement) so I'm sure it's worse with pet dogs; it's often linked to religious beliefs. Luckily I've never needed to take PestDog in a taxi so can't comment on precisely how difficult it is!

Has she considered rehoming an older dog, maybe from a breed rescue if she has a particular breed in mind? Puppies are a whole thing, and if she's never owned a dog before it can be a bit of a shellshocking experience. I rehomed a very calm 3 year old as my first dog, and it was the best introduction I could have had to the world of 4-hour-max trips out, and poo bags in every coat pocket. So good, in fact, that I then got a puppy and am still trying to make up the 6 months of my life I lost to toilet training...

You can still do most things you did Pre dog but with more planning
We can’t for example go to cinema and then just spontaneously think “ let’s go out for a meal now” as we would be gone too long. Can’t just decide to go away for the weekend or on holiday. When looking at holidays I book dog boarding before flights
We still go out etc but have to plan it in 3/4 hour slots or arrange for a neighbor to take the dog out or send him to daycare
We are on holiday and have paid £250 for dog home boarding so there’s an added cost to holidays and days out too
It’s a very very big commitment if you do it properly and to be honest it’s probably affected my recent career choices as well

I got a puppy when I was 58; I lost 10kg!

Ask her if she recalls having a young child. No, it's not the same, but there are similar issues! Toilet training, night waking, can't leave alone, teach them to spend time alone without trashing the joint etc.

Lead training, recall, games, obedience, behaviour all require a lot of work.

Cost - food, treats, poo bags, toys, vets, insurance, worm and flea treatments, vaccinations, leads, collar, harness (depending on what she wants), day care if needed, kennels or homestay if she goes away without the dog, pet passport if she wants to take it abroad, car harness or boot cover, de-fluffing implements!!

Lie in are more difficult, as the dog still needs to go out - does she have a garden? Ours won't pee or poo in the garden - apparently she sees it as an extension of the house, so off limits for toileting. We have to go out for her to have a pee.

Can't leave her for more than 4 hrs unattended. We probably could, in practice, but we wouldn't do that to her.

Tell her to do it!!!
Yes it will have an impact on her life for sure but the reward far out weighs the cons.
You just adjust your life slightly to fit around your dog and if she gets a puppy the puppy will grow up to fit in with your mums life.
With a puppy SOCIALISATION is the key, get the puppy used to everything your mum is likely to come across with her dog and it will make her life as a dog owner (and the dogs) much more enjoyable! And make sure she starts as she means to go on, a lot of people commenting on the mess in the house, my dogs bed is in the utility room so when we come back from a walk where she's muddy or wet i can shut her in the utility and that contains the mess and makes it very easy to clean up. She's been used to this from a puppy so it's just normal for her, she isn't upset by it. I don't feel having a dog stops me doing anything, there's no doubt if your mum has someone close by she can rely on to dog sit on the occasion she is away over night or can't take the dog this will be a massive help but i find those times quite rare for example if i have an all day wedding i just make sure i give my dog a good walk before i go then she's tiered out and happy to snooze for the rest of the day. I know a lot of people say you shouldn't leave your dog for more than 3/4 hours before someone shoots me down, I mean on the odd occasion, i don't think you should have a dog if it's going to be left on it's own all day, every day but if you think most dogs are left alone in their beds over night and are fine so there's nothing wrong with leaving them all day now and again if they've had plenty exercise before you go and not for longer than they're happily able to not need the toilet.
It sounds like your mum is in a perfect position to get a dog, especially if she loves walking. I think this is the key to my dogs good behaviour, i give her plenty exercise which in turn means when she's in the house she's really well behaved and happy just to snooze most of the time. You need to limit exercise with puppies while they're still growing though.
Definitely tell her to do her homework before she decides on a breed, different breeds have completely different characteristics and also some breeds are more prone to health issues.
Good Luck!

Thanks so much everyone for these great responses I'll definitely be showing them to her !!

One thing she's worried about - and it may sound minor but trust me this is a big part of her life!- what would you do if looking around a national trust property for example ?

She and my dad are divorced and she goes on a week long holiday in the UK once a year alone and then abroad with friends in the summer. She loves going to national trust properties and will usually visit a few each time she goes away and often they have fab grounds to walk the dogs but in situations like this would you just leave the dog in the holiday home for a few hours, look around the property then come back for the dog ?

Again sounds minor but she definitely would take the dog with her but these things are a bit part of her holidays !

They may not be allowed to leave the dog unattended in a holiday cottage - it's often in the T&Cs.

it's good to find a local kennels that the dog likes - we have to put our dog in a few times a year because of work commitments and he loves his holidays!

Otherwise it depends on the holiday cottage - some will allow dogs but not left unsupervised (understandable). Or else she leaves the dog in the car while she looks around the house, with the windows down and a Kong to chew, and then takes it for a good walk afterwards. We're members of the NT partly because they have some great parks for walking dogs in, and are generally very welcoming of doggo pals.

How adaptable is your mum? Has she got the beginnings of a dog friendly network?

I did exactly the same as yr mum slightly younger age. Didn't do it by half went straight in and got a german shepherd puppy. Steep learning curve as although I grew up with this breed I forgot I was country living not town based - so had to think through the adjustments - luckily I live next door to a forest so walking off lead easy enough. GSDs are busy breeds who like to be active.

I have dog care at £10 a day (essential so you can cover any lengthy periods away from the home without dog). Garden is basic no frills and still she digs. She is nearly 2 now and growing through the adolescent phase. I have met a whole new dog community who are a mine of info. I have had to lern to be a responsible dog owner (like parenting what you put in is what you get out) spoilt dogs are as problematic as spoilt children - they need their boundaries.

In return I have a companion; a reason to go out every day which is good for my health; new social circle; my kids have learnt to be less selfish.